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View Full Version : Persuasive essay: Ronnie or Caddy



jtsacksyou
12-01-2005, 10:05 PM
Thanks for all the advice everyone.. edited so the teacher wont come here and think i got my essay from this site or something. You know how they are with plagerism. they sure do know how to find it!!

jtsacksyou
12-01-2005, 10:35 PM
my bad, wrong forum meant to put this in the lounge

*EDIT* Thanks for moving

AquaInferno
12-02-2005, 12:08 AM
It's pretty good man, I'm sure you'll pass

Wildbill3
12-02-2005, 12:22 AM
First thing, you are supposed to persuade someone of something, but in your first paragraph, with no facts to back it up, you state that ronnie is the better back. You don't want to put off your audience, (in this case your teacher...) by telling them how to feel, or how they should feel. let the facts and your paper do that. Just state that your intention is to reveal to the reader who the better runningback is.

dolphinfan2k5
12-02-2005, 12:32 AM
First thing, you are supposed to persuade someone of something, but in your first paragraph, with no facts to back it up, you state that ronnie is the better back. You don't want to put off your audience, (in this case your teacher...) by telling them how to feel, or how they should feel. let the facts and your paper do that. Just state that your intention is to reveal to the reader who the better runningback is.

:yeahthat: I'm doing a research paper on Ricky Williams, (you'll all get to read it around the 21st) and our teacher constantly tells us to not tell how we feel, but let the reader know through what we write.

Clark Kent
12-02-2005, 05:26 AM
His lowest unofficial time was a 4.32

What does unoffical doing in there? His official time was 4.41. You can't use unofficial when there is an official.

Wildbill3
12-02-2005, 06:30 AM
What does unoffical doing in there? His official time was 4.41. You can't use unofficial when there is an official.
Well, he can use that as long as he has the unoffical and offical times for both rookies.


Maybe a good idea would be: Have the complete combine stats of both guys and work in an equal amount of statistics.

DrAstroZoom
12-02-2005, 12:25 PM
First thing, you are supposed to persuade someone of something, but in your first paragraph, with no facts to back it up, you state that ronnie is the better back. You don't want to put off your audience, (in this case your teacher...) by telling them how to feel, or how they should feel. let the facts and your paper do that. Just state that your intention is to reveal to the reader who the better runningback is.


Not true. It is crucial to tell your reader in the introductory paragraph what your opinion is. This is called the THESIS STATEMENT. It is also handy to, in close proximity to the thesis, give a one sentence summary of the main supporting points to follow. This is known as the ESSAY MAP. In your case, the thesis and the essay map could be combined in the following sentence: While both backs are talented, Ronnie Brown will be the more successful player because of his physical superiority, his statistical productivity and his versatility.

NJFINSFAN1
12-02-2005, 12:29 PM
Not true. It is crucial to tell your reader in the introductory paragraph what your opinion is. This is called the THESIS STATEMENT. It is also handy to, in close proximity to the thesis, give a one sentence summary of the main supporting points to follow. This is known as the ESSAY MAP. In your case, the thesis and the essay map could be combined in the following sentence: While both backs are talented, Ronnie Brown will be the more successful player because of his physical superiority, his statistical productivity and his versatility.

yes, you are right, I'm back in school after 22 years and just finished speech class (4.0 baby :tongue: ) and he said I was the only one that used the Thesis Statement!

Cudos to you doc!

jtsacksyou
12-02-2005, 03:53 PM
drastrozoom thats a good sentance im gonna use that.. thanks

jtsacksyou
12-02-2005, 03:54 PM
What does unoffical doing in there? His official time was 4.41. You can't use unofficial when there is an official.

ok, well i know caddy ran his in mid 4.40's to low 4.50's do you know what his official time was?

DrAstroZoom
12-02-2005, 04:18 PM
drastrozoom thats a good sentance im gonna use that.. thanks

My pleasure. Finally, my English education degree comes in handy. ;)

Clark Kent
12-02-2005, 04:28 PM
ok, well i know caddy ran his in mid 4.40's to low 4.50's do you know what his official time was?I believe Caddy ran a 4.44. I could be wrong, but I'm almost sure of it.

Talos
12-02-2005, 04:32 PM
yes, you are right, I'm back in school after 22 years and just finished speech class (4.0 baby :tongue: ) and he said I was the only one that used the Thesis Statement!

Cudos to you doc!

You didn't get it for your spelling. Kudos buddy...Kudos....

DrAstroZoom
12-03-2005, 06:45 PM
I was going to mention that, but I didn't have the heart.

RunningBackGuru
12-03-2005, 08:40 PM
Great job on that. It even informed me.