PDA

View Full Version : Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.



NewEra8
03-04-2006, 12:29 PM
What are youre facorite Chuck Norris facts?

Mine:

1. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
2. Guns dont kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
4. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

NewEra8
03-04-2006, 12:30 PM
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

NewEra8
03-04-2006, 12:32 PM
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

NewEra8
03-04-2006, 12:33 PM
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

NewEra8
03-04-2006, 12:35 PM
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Caps
03-04-2006, 12:52 PM
OK, I'll chip in.

Some little children wear Superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

Dubfire
03-04-2006, 12:56 PM
Chuck Norris doesnt do pushups, he pushes the Earth down.

miamikid92
03-04-2006, 12:58 PM
this chuck norris stuff got old 2 months ago

GreenMonster
03-04-2006, 01:00 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't hunt because it implies the probability of failure.. Chuck Norris goes killing..

That will never get old to me..

Jimi
03-04-2006, 01:16 PM
:lol:
Chuck Norris doesn't hunt because it implies the probability of failure.. Chuck Norris goes killing..

That will never get old to me..

Might be the best one

Jt0323
03-04-2006, 01:21 PM
this chuck norris stuff got old 2 months ago

i agree, it was funny at first but then everyone went overbaord with Chuck Norris and not its getting alittle old, also how come u could not fit all this in one big post?

NewEra8
03-04-2006, 01:56 PM
this chuck norris stuff got old 2 months ago

First off, if ya dont want to read it, then guess what...dont open a thread titled... "Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding."


i agree, it was funny at first but then everyone went overbaord with Chuck Norris and not its getting alittle old, also how come u could not fit all this in one big post?

Second, Im sorry I made you scroll down two clicks by not putting it in one thread... sorry to ruin your day...

Dubfire
03-04-2006, 01:59 PM
As long as people keep coming up with new ones, its not going to get old.

Dubfire
03-04-2006, 02:00 PM
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.:sidelol:

NewEra8
03-04-2006, 02:01 PM
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.:sidelol:

:sidelol: :lol:

Dubfire
03-04-2006, 02:02 PM
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!":spit:

TerryTate
03-04-2006, 02:27 PM
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection.

There were no survivors.

Phins28
03-04-2006, 02:37 PM
If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Jimmy James
03-04-2006, 02:44 PM
I really like two of them:

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

TerryTate
03-04-2006, 02:53 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a klondike bar.

Roman529
03-04-2006, 02:59 PM
Have you guys seen Chuck Norris's wife? :eek: I think here name is Gena Norris?....google search her if you haven't seen her...she is drop dead beautiful. She was on Larry King with Chuck. I want to see a movie with
Chuck, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Steven Segal and see who would kick who's a$$.
:lol:

Hellion
03-04-2006, 03:50 PM
Have you guys seen Chuck Norris's wife? :eek: I think here name is Gena Norris?....google search her if you haven't seen her...she is drop dead beautiful. She was on Larry King with Chuck. I want to see a movie with
Chuck, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Steven Segal and see who would kick who's a$$.:lol:

Chuck Norris would win because he's Chuck Norris

Muck
03-04-2006, 07:45 PM
My sig. :rofl3:

Muck
03-04-2006, 07:48 PM
And no, the Chuck Norris stuff never gets old.

Muck
03-04-2006, 07:49 PM
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection.

There were no survivors.

:sidelol:

Dubfire
03-04-2006, 08:00 PM
My sig. :rofl3:

:sidelol:

Fin_Fanatic
03-04-2006, 08:25 PM
When Bruce Banner gets angry he turns into the Incredible Hulk. When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he turns into Chuck Norris

Dubfire
03-04-2006, 08:28 PM
When Bruce Banner gets angry he turns into the Incredible Hulk. When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he turns into Chuck Norris


:sidelol:

Fin_Fanatic
03-04-2006, 08:30 PM
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE SEX WRANGLER.... I dont know what that is, but it sounds awesome:sidelol:

ok i'm done

CharlestonPhan
03-04-2006, 08:36 PM
Have you guys seen Chuck Norris's wife? :eek: I think here name is Gena Norris?....google search her if you haven't seen her...she is drop dead beautiful. She was on Larry King with Chuck. I want to see a movie with
Chuck, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Steven Segal and see who would kick who's a$$.
:lol:

the winner would have to then face Jack Bauer in the Octagon.

Caps
03-04-2006, 09:34 PM
Chuck Norris once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

FinaciousOne
03-04-2006, 10:11 PM
Have you guys seen Chuck Norris's wife? :eek: I think her name is Gena Norris?....google search her if you haven't seen her...she is drop dead beautiful..
:lol:

Before she met Chuck Norris, Gena was just beautiful.
Chuck Norris made her "drop dead" beautiful.:wink:

ih8brady
03-04-2006, 10:24 PM
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Silverphin
03-04-2006, 10:48 PM
The Marvel Comic company was going to have Chuck Norris to be Sabertooth's arch-nemesis. However, Stan Lee wanted the rivalry to last over 10 years, not ten pages.

Clark Kent
03-04-2006, 10:58 PM
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.Oh man that's bad :lol:

GRAPEAPE
03-04-2006, 10:59 PM
Chuck Norris is so tough his crap has muscles.
Chuck once drank boiling water, and pissed out ice cubes.

PHINATIC13
03-04-2006, 11:02 PM
Aliens do exist.They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Clark Kent
03-04-2006, 11:02 PM
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

PHINATIC13
03-04-2006, 11:06 PM
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack...........his heart lost.

PHINATIC13
03-04-2006, 11:17 PM
Chuck Norris once ate three 72oz. steaks in 1 hour.He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

CharlestonPhan
03-05-2006, 12:33 AM
Chuck Norris once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

:sidelol:

backpacker
03-05-2006, 12:46 AM
My solution to the Norris craze. Caution: F-Bomb displayed.

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=590

PHINATIC13
03-05-2006, 12:49 AM
My solution to the Norris craze. Caution: F-Bomb displayed.

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=590


:lol:

Jimmy James
03-05-2006, 12:51 AM
I was disappointed in TSH when I saw that. They're usually more creative.

Kobe
03-05-2006, 01:15 AM
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Kobe
03-05-2006, 01:18 AM
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

Roman529
03-05-2006, 03:00 AM
Chuck Norris was great in Gymkata...I never knew he was a gold medalist gymnastic type. :wink:

ih8brady
03-05-2006, 05:17 AM
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Tell me the movie in this trailer wont be one of the best action flicks ever!

http://movies2.nytimes.com/gst/movies/trailer.html?v_id=340826

"Relax! I'm the good guy."

Jimmy James
03-05-2006, 05:22 AM
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Rocky Raccoon
03-05-2006, 01:22 PM
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

bg34
03-05-2006, 09:45 PM
Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

:sidelol: :sidelol:

Rocky Raccoon
03-05-2006, 09:55 PM
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

ih8brady
03-06-2006, 05:14 AM
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
What many people dont know is chuck norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Hellion
03-23-2006, 10:01 PM
Be Chuck Norris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kick Ninja a$$!!!!!!!!!

http://www.yogames.net/yogames/chucknorris-ninjaattack_game.html