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View Full Version : I could use some more advice from my Phin Bros



3RDCoastDolFan
03-19-2006, 06:58 PM
I've been with this girl for six months. (since September). Well she broke up with me back in December, told me what I thought was a p!ss poor excuse which is : "We may want different things in the future…" At the time, I was like, "yea, okay, whatever". But now I know why she did it, and it's legit. Well, a week goes by, and she tells me she made a huge mistake and wants me back, and blah blah blah. So I gave us a 2nd chance, and we've been together ever since.

Well…..now, this girl is talking marriage. Which is cool, I'd marry her. But she is like, hell bent on staying in Texas. Ummmm, that's a huge problem, being that right now I'm in the Air Force ROTC, and when I graduate college here in two years, there's a pretty damn good chance I won't be in Texas.

So what should I do? Keep her? Or let her go? She has some pros and cons. (sadly more cons)


Cons
1- she gets insanely jealous if I want to hang out with my female friends, or if they call me……and I let her chill with her guy friends, no questions asked.

2- she's slept with a lot of guys…..when I say a lot I mean borderline slut (oh boy, I hope she doesn’t read this)

3- She doesn’t want to leave Texas (my job will definitely call for moving)

4- She doesn't think she wants to have kids, ever. She said that might change when she's 30, but still probably not. Of course, I don't want kids yet either, I need to finish college, but in 5 or 10 years I will.

5- She's kind of a feminist, she told me that when she gets married, she wants to keep her last name, because she doesn't think the woman should have to change it!



Pros
1- she's really a sweetheart. And we have fun most of the time.

2- ummmm, uuuuh, I love her….lol



I dunno what to do guys!...... I would love some advice! Thanks in advance!

Buddwalk
03-19-2006, 07:01 PM
depends how much your getting it :wink:

HysterikiLL
03-19-2006, 07:02 PM
I dunno man....seems like you need to choose what you value more....her, or your career. Can't be an easy choice but it seems like that could be the easiest way to decide....or can you in any way fit your career into living in Texas?

Jt0323
03-19-2006, 07:02 PM
imo their are way too many cons than pros, i would let her go, thats just me...

Buddwalk
03-19-2006, 07:06 PM
imo their are way too many cons than pros, i would let her go, thats just me...


It all depends on how much shes giving it up. 5 times a week i'd say is a true keeper anything less take the money and run man :wink:

Jt0323
03-19-2006, 07:14 PM
It all depends on how much shes giving it up. 5 times a week i'd say is a true keeper anything less take the money and run man :wink:

the thing is if he wants kids and she dose not and he wants to get out of texas and she dose not its not worth it, they both want to many different things

3RDCoastDolFan
03-19-2006, 07:22 PM
the thing is if he wants kids and she dose not and he wants to get out of texas and she dose not its not worth it, they both want to many different things



Yea..... :wall:

PassRush
03-19-2006, 07:26 PM
I could never mary a woman who would not take my name, but thats just me.

iDolFan
03-19-2006, 07:28 PM
You need to talk to her soon, and tell her how things are going to be! Be the man in the relationship. Lay it all out, how you feel, what you expect. You'll find out real quick if she truely "loves" you :wink:

welderpat
03-19-2006, 08:10 PM
http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Run Forest run!!!!!!!!!
But you already knew that you just wanted uus to validate it.

Skeet84
03-19-2006, 08:17 PM
They say if your truly love something you must let it go. If it truly loves you than it will be back.


Stand by that and if you tell her how you feel and you want to move and let her go. If she really loves you than it does not matter where you live she will follow. Your career is something you have worked very hard for so don't throw all that away like that. There are alot more cons than pros, But nothing is more than LOVE. If you really love her than thats great, But if she really loves you than she will move. I hope I could help you

King Nate
03-19-2006, 08:42 PM
You gotta do what's best for you bro and what you feel most comfortable with. If you truly think that things can work out and that you would be happy with her, then go for it. If you don't things will work out and her past might come up again, then you have to break it off. If she's not willing to work with you on the things that are important to you then it's probably not worth it. Regardless of all that, listen to what we all have to say but don't let it make or break your decision.

Dors156
03-19-2006, 08:45 PM
dont want to be mean but id leave her.she sounds kind of desperate in a way

Ohio Fanatic
03-19-2006, 09:01 PM
Don't ever make the mistake of thinking there's only one girl that you'll fall in love with. Don't get married unless you think she's the one. ANd it sounds like she's not. Once you're married, you have to make endless compromises. Don't start off behind the 8-ball, you'll just end up in a nasty divorce. I know from experience.

And a word of advice, when you do find the right woman and ready to settle down, you'll have to stop the "hanging out with all your female friends.". Its a recipe for disaster.

Ohio Fanatic
03-19-2006, 09:02 PM
Oh, and problems that exist before a marriage, absolutely, do NOT get better after you're married, they get more instensified.

SuavePhin
03-19-2006, 09:49 PM
5 Cons to 2 Pros......of the cons she's a borderline slut, jelous, seems controlling, sounds a LOT like my ex, so my advice would be run forest run!

dQbell
03-19-2006, 11:02 PM
Oh, and problems that exist before a marriage, absolutely, do NOT get better after you're married, they get more instensified.

Good points.

My friend, the concept of marriage is to be together until death. 5 years from now, ten years from now, that will still be true. Marriage is a very fragile thing. It takes sacrifice and unselfishness. Just be patient. Do things with eachother and learn about eachother. Never awaken love until it so desires.

Fin Fan in Cali
03-19-2006, 11:44 PM
Brother, you have your life going in the right direction, great job! As for her, she is all over the board, and you will be leaving Texas, and you are young. I say that you are young, and will find the right woman in your life. Keep the nose in the books, and make the best of your life without her. It will hurt at first, but I think you will better without her. You have a great life ahead of you to worry about baggage already! Best of luck bro! John:wink:

RWhitney014
03-20-2006, 12:06 AM
Along with everything else already stated, you listed the cons before the pros. That was probably subconscious, but your mind's telling you something there.

(Not to mention, "uh, I love her" isn't very convincing when you just complained about her for longer than you complimented her.)

Roman529
03-20-2006, 12:11 AM
You are still a PUP, there will be plenty of women after college and once your military career starts....I would just hold off on it consider the recent breakup and getting back together. I think holding off until your career is under way is a good idea.

woody1351
03-20-2006, 12:42 AM
I could never mary a woman who would not take my name, but thats just me.

i agree 100%

FinsNCanes
03-20-2006, 01:42 AM
I've been with this girl for six months. (since September). Well she broke up with me back in December, told me what I thought was a p!ss poor excuse which is : "We may want different things in the future…" At the time, I was like, "yea, okay, whatever". But now I know why she did it, and it's legit. Well, a week goes by, and she tells me she made a huge mistake and wants me back, and blah blah blah. So I gave us a 2nd chance, and we've been together ever since.

Well…..now, this girl is talking marriage. Which is cool, I'd marry her. But she is like, hell bent on staying in Texas. Ummmm, that's a huge problem, being that right now I'm in the Air Force ROTC, and when I graduate college here in two years, there's a pretty damn good chance I won't be in Texas.

So what should I do? Keep her? Or let her go? She has some pros and cons. (sadly more cons)


Cons
1- she gets insanely jealous if I want to hang out with my female friends, or if they call me……and I let her chill with her guy friends, no questions asked.

2- she's slept with a lot of guys…..when I say a lot I mean borderline slut (oh boy, I hope she doesn’t read this)

3- She doesn’t want to leave Texas (my job will definitely call for moving)

4- She doesn't think she wants to have kids, ever. She said that might change when she's 30, but still probably not. Of course, I don't want kids yet either, I need to finish college, but in 5 or 10 years I will.

5- She's kind of a feminist, she told me that when she gets married, she wants to keep her last name, because she doesn't think the woman should have to change it!



Pros
1- she's really a sweetheart. And we have fun most of the time.

2- ummmm, uuuuh, I love her….lol



I dunno what to do guys!...... I would love some advice! Thanks in advance!

Honestly? She sounds like

FinsNCanes
03-20-2006, 01:42 AM
I've been with this girl for six months. (since September). Well she broke up with me back in December, told me what I thought was a p!ss poor excuse which is : "We may want different things in the future…" At the time, I was like, "yea, okay, whatever". But now I know why she did it, and it's legit. Well, a week goes by, and she tells me she made a huge mistake and wants me back, and blah blah blah. So I gave us a 2nd chance, and we've been together ever since.

Well…..now, this girl is talking marriage. Which is cool, I'd marry her. But she is like, hell bent on staying in Texas. Ummmm, that's a huge problem, being that right now I'm in the Air Force ROTC, and when I graduate college here in two years, there's a pretty damn good chance I won't be in Texas.

So what should I do? Keep her? Or let her go? She has some pros and cons. (sadly more cons)


Cons
1- she gets insanely jealous if I want to hang out with my female friends, or if they call me……and I let her chill with her guy friends, no questions asked.

2- she's slept with a lot of guys…..when I say a lot I mean borderline slut (oh boy, I hope she doesn’t read this)

3- She doesn’t want to leave Texas (my job will definitely call for moving)

4- She doesn't think she wants to have kids, ever. She said that might change when she's 30, but still probably not. Of course, I don't want kids yet either, I need to finish college, but in 5 or 10 years I will.

5- She's kind of a feminist, she told me that when she gets married, she wants to keep her last name, because she doesn't think the woman should have to change it!



Pros
1- she's really a sweetheart. And we have fun most of the time.

2- ummmm, uuuuh, I love her….lol



I dunno what to do guys!...... I would love some advice! Thanks in advance!

Honestly? She sounds like a whore.

Timmy54
03-20-2006, 10:01 AM
Dude, hate to validate what you want here but you need to run. If she knows your situation in life with having to due your air force duty but still is say she wants to be married but stay in texas??? something dosnt add up. Plus, always marry the good girls that make it difficult to get in there pants, then you know when your not around the other slime around will have even a harder time getting some. Your still young too dude, believe the me when i say your in love know but in a few years you will regret not seeing what else is out there. if you guys are ment to be, stay together for a bit and see what happens. remember, worst case is you marry--she then stays in texas??(can not figure her on that one)-you have to jet for the air force-your not getting any and she gets bored and become that slut your worried about. Hmm, timmy makes sence!!!

Noodle Arm
03-20-2006, 10:08 AM
This thread is useless without pics! :tongue:

Seriously though, if I were you I'd leave. At this point in your life your career is worth more. I know it's a harsh thing to say, but at this stage in your life you have to be selfish and think about yourself. Once you get your career started, then you can worry about marriage.

mor911
03-20-2006, 10:09 AM
Honestly man, you need to live your live for you. You're going to be an officer in the US military (unless you're in ROTC for other reasons). You have something you're working for. You have to do what's right for you.

Never ever alter your life plans or goals for a woman.

Nothing agaist women, but they're all evil (Except for DM and Helena). If you and her are meant to be, you'll be together. You sound like you've got your **** together, so do your thing and don't worry about her. Women come and go. Don't ever let one slow you down.

Power to the people.

3RDCoastDolFan
03-20-2006, 10:58 AM
Thanks guys..... I really appreciate everyones help. Its always easier to give the advice when your not involved, and very tough when you are the one.:hmmm:

a little update: Well I stayed at her place last night, and the issue wasn't brought up until we were about to fall asleep. She basically said that we shouldn't worry about it now, and just cross the that bridge when we come to it. I guess that's a good idea.... I don't graduate college and commission to the AF until May 08'. So, I guess I'll just roll with the punches.....