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SCall13
03-30-2006, 08:15 PM
It has never been quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And it's never been figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!!
What was what?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said "let's get a pair for each outfit".

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either...

Timmy54
03-30-2006, 08:28 PM
i have heard this joke before but it is a classic

tucker
03-30-2006, 08:45 PM
but its so true..

wazzy
03-30-2006, 08:46 PM
That was pretty funny. This is a joke right?

FinFan72
03-30-2006, 09:30 PM
It has never been quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And it's never been figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!!
What was what?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said "let's get a pair for each outfit".

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either...

:sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol:
Thats some funny ****
:sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol:

305TillIDie
03-30-2006, 09:33 PM
hahaha

HysterikiLL
03-30-2006, 09:35 PM
:rofl: That's a joke right? Otherwise I think you guys have some issues you need to work out :lol:

SCall13
03-30-2006, 09:41 PM
It's a joke. Pretty good stuff.

FinsNCanes
03-30-2006, 10:58 PM
Good joke. I was getting ready to say you are the man if that story was true. Something I should try though when I get a woman.

Jimi
03-30-2006, 10:58 PM
i have heard this joke before but it is a classic:yeahthat:

Bjorn
03-30-2006, 11:25 PM
It has never been quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And it's never been figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!!
What was what?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said "let's get a pair for each outfit".

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either...

that's good I hadn't heard that before.

FinaciousOne
03-30-2006, 11:35 PM
:confused: My wife didn't think it was funny. :confused: ????

She said, "What do you mean? What are you trying to say?"

No dear, It was just a joke, a harmless joke.

Well did you think it was funny?

No dear not at all.

Then why did you show it to me?

Uh....um..uh...It wasn't me dear it was SCall13...yeah..it was him.....that's the kind of guy he is......not me..no dear...I showed you just to show you how some guys are.....not me though, nope no way.

Well OK then.

So then you're not mad at me, babe?

No, I guess not.

That's good.....but can I still get some "make-up" scrumph.



Thanks alot SCall.

PassRush
03-31-2006, 01:34 AM
You ever hear or read something so funny that you cannot even laugh. Right now I am sitting in shock, thinking "oh my god, thats the greatest thing I have heard in some time"

Just incase some of you think I am being sarcastic,
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol:

Majpain
03-31-2006, 02:42 AM
LMAO omg first time I heard this joke and holy crap its funny.My side hurts you win!

FinFan72
03-31-2006, 01:22 PM
:confused: My wife didn't think it was funny. :confused: ????

She said, "What do you mean? What are you trying to say?"

No dear, It was just a joke, a harmless joke.

Well did you think it was funny?

No dear not at all.

Then why did you show it to me?

Uh....um..uh...It wasn't me dear it was SCall13...yeah..it was him.....that's the kind of guy he is......not me..no dear...I showed you just to show you how some guys are.....not me though, nope no way.

Well OK then.

So then you're not mad at me, babe?

No, I guess not.

That's good.....but can I still get some "make-up" scrumph.



Thanks alot SCall.
sounds like my wife :lol:

Pagan
03-31-2006, 02:12 PM
I like the one where the guy goes into his bedroom and his wife is already under the covers.

He asks, "Honey, you want me to get you an aspirin?"

She replies, "No dear, I don't need one."

He shoots back, "Good, then roll over and spread your legs!"

:lol: