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Peebs
03-06-2003, 12:59 PM
Some "rules" to pass on to your ladies :

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
here are the rules from the male side. Please note:
these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
# 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big
girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you
leaving
it down.
# 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live
with it.
# 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
the tides. Let it be.
# 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think of it that way.

# 1. Crying is blackmail.

#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not
work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We'll
get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU
WANT!!!

# 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on
the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

# 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes
you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair,
out
of thirty, would look good with your dress?

# 1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question. Please pick one.

# 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

# 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See
a doctor.

# 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon
as you hear it.
# 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible
in an argument. In fact, all comments become null
and
void after seven days.

# 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us act like soap opera guys.
# 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't
ask us. We refuse to answer, but still love you.
# 1. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
# 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.

# 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions,
and
neither do we.

# 1. The relationship is never going to be like it
was
the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
And quit whining to your girlfriends.

# 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not
a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what
Mauve is.

# 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

# 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
Our
lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how
little we care about you.

#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are
lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

# 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

# 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything
you wear is fine. Really, you look fine!!!

# 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to
take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which
quiz.

# 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are
for
you.

# 1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we
really
don't mind that, it's like camping.



:lol:

Scrap
03-06-2003, 01:29 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Jaydog57
03-06-2003, 04:55 PM
:lol: Those are good. With all the other political and world news b.s. people keep posting in the lounge, it's nice to read something funny. :cool: