View Full Version : For the guys

03-06-2003, 12:59 PM
Some "rules" to pass on to your ladies :

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
here are the rules from the male side. Please note:
these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
# 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you
it down.
# 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live
with it.
# 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
the tides. Let it be.
# 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think of it that way.

# 1. Crying is blackmail.

#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not
work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We'll
get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU

# 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on
the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

# 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes
you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair,
of thirty, would look good with your dress?

# 1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question. Please pick one.

# 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

# 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See
a doctor.

# 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon
as you hear it.
# 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible
in an argument. In fact, all comments become null
void after seven days.

# 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us act like soap opera guys.
# 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
ask us. We refuse to answer, but still love you.
# 1. If something we said can be interpreted two
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
# 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.

# 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions,
neither do we.

# 1. The relationship is never going to be like it
the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
And quit whining to your girlfriends.

# 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,
a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
Mauve is.

# 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

# 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how
little we care about you.

#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are
but it is just not worth the hassle.

# 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

# 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
you wear is fine. Really, you look fine!!!

# 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to
take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which

# 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are

# 1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we
don't mind that, it's like camping.


03-06-2003, 01:29 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

03-06-2003, 04:55 PM
:lol: Those are good. With all the other political and world news b.s. people keep posting in the lounge, it's nice to read something funny. :cool: