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LeftCoastPhin
03-13-2003, 02:28 PM
From Canard, France's weekly anti-American newspaper: "France announced
today that it plans to ban fireworks at EuroDisney. The reason: last
night's display caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to
surrender."
******************
If you want to get France involved in a war with Iraq,
you must first convince them that Saddam is hiding fields of truffles.
-Comedian on the Tonight Show

*******************
Q: What do you call a group of 100,000 Frenchman with their hands in the
air?
A: "The French army, of course."

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows & no Frenchman has ever tried.

Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: By shooting the soldier pushing it.

Q: Why does the new French Navy have glass-bottom boats?
A: So they can see the old French Navy....

Q: How can you recognize a French veteran?
A: Sunburned armpits.


Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.

Q: Did you hear about the old French rifles for sale on Ebay?
A: Never been fired, dropped only once.

Q: The French have just ordered a new national flag.
A: It's a white cross on a white background

Q: Where do you find 60 million French jokes?
A: In France.

Q: How many gears in a French tank?
A: Six: five reverse and one forward, in case they are attacked from behind.

************
Jay Leno says it's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam
Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France,
either. Still, it's essential for them to join us in the war against
Iraq. They can teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
*************

Jay Leno, a few summers ago, said:
"France is now being hit by an extreme heat-wave, so the French government
is advising its citizens to "stay indoors and do nothing". "You know, like
they did in WWII...."

*********

On a serious note, back in 1966, upon being told that Charles DeGaulle
Had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated
Off of French soil, President Lyndon Johnson sent a brief message to the
Former Secretary of State, Dean Rusk: Ask DeGaulle about the cemeteries,
Dean! So at end of the meeting, Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to
remove
all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+ soldiers buried
in
France from fighting for France in World War I and World War II. DeGaulle
Never answered and never pursued the issue again.

******************
Something to ponder: You are the President of the United States.
Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the
earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at
approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough to completely wipe
France from the face of the earth forever. France and the United
Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and
aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could
be
Sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As
the President, you must decide: Do you stay up late on the night of the
Impact to watch the coverage live, or tape it and watch it in the morning?

*****************
A cute little quote: "Come on now. Give the French a
break. After all they did win the French Revolutionary War ...But
then, again, they were fighting the French!"

WharfRat
03-13-2003, 02:55 PM
:rofl:

PhinPhan1227
03-13-2003, 03:27 PM
Isn't "French Jokes" redundant?

LeftCoastPhin
03-13-2003, 03:29 PM
ha, very much so

t2thejz
03-13-2003, 04:33 PM
:spit: :lol: :lol: :lol:

billsfanone
03-13-2003, 04:43 PM
Hey, I agree with you fish freaks on something. :D

Kamikaze
03-14-2003, 05:03 AM
If I wasn't so trashed I might post something intelligent in response...

phinphan
03-14-2003, 08:23 PM
Isn't this thread racist?? Would jokes about African Americans be acceptable here??

Miafan
03-14-2003, 10:15 PM
some of those are way too funny, lol.

t2thejz
03-14-2003, 10:48 PM
were not picking on a race were picking on a country. trust me i bet they have a few words about us too

phinphan
03-15-2003, 09:27 AM
Originally posted by t2thejz
were not picking on a race were picking on a country. trust me i bet they have a few words about us too

Uuuuum....the French are a race.......therefore yes, you are picking on a race. If you simply told jokes about the country, then they wouldn't include any people would they. And that kind of attitude is why racism is still so prevelant in the world today.

I don't want to be too much of a party pooper here, it is just that I don't like double standards. Racism is not about skin, it is about RACE. There may be French people who check out this site, and indeed they may find it offensive. Just as African Americans may find jokes about them offensive.

I still hear young German people persecuted about WWII. Some of them don't even have parents who were alive in the 40's...and yet that racial stereotype still exists, and they receive abuse accordingly.

t2thejz
03-15-2003, 10:37 AM
give me a break. these are jokes.all of those jokes are about france the country and their army. its differnt than having jokes about blacks mexicans ect

Kamikaze
03-15-2003, 11:00 AM
Originally posted by t2thejz
give me a break. these are jokes.all of those jokes are about france the country and their army. its differnt than having jokes about blacks mexicans ect

How so? People are taking many liberties with taking direct stabs at French people, not just their government and military.


Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.


I see neither an insult of the country nor its armed forces there. If that's not a blanket statement about French people, I'd really like to see who it's supposed to be insulting then. The anti-French sentiment I've seen lately is really stupid, especially Congressmen who used our tax dollars to get their cafeteria's french fries renamed to freedom fries. Anyone up for a Salisbury Steak on a sesame seed bun with a side of Liberty Cabbage? :rolleyes:

iceblizzard69
03-15-2003, 11:13 AM
It is incredible how Americans have been waiting for this, waiting for a way to make fun of the French.

phinphan, French is a nationality, not a race.

Some of those are pretty funny, but it isn't right to just make fun of the people of that nation. I don't care if you make fun of their army, but some of those jokes made fun of their people. How do you feel when you hear a joke about how all Americans are stupid? You probably don't like it.

t2thejz
03-15-2003, 12:37 PM
Well most of european people think we are stupid and it doesnt bother me at all. most nations are jelous of us and thats there problem

iceblizzard69
03-15-2003, 01:11 PM
Originally posted by t2thejz
Well most of european people think we are stupid and it doesnt bother me at all. most nations are jelous of us and thats there problem

Actually, they aren't jealous. Europeans like their socialised health care, education, and where they live. Not everyone wants to live in the USA. I love this country and never want to leave it (just this state, NY blows), but they aren't jealous. Also, Europeans don't think all Americans are stupid, they just think some Americans are stupid.

t2thejz
03-15-2003, 01:39 PM
lol u think ny blows try livin in vt

dolfan06
03-15-2003, 02:14 PM
Originally posted by chicagodolphan
How so? People are taking many liberties with taking direct stabs at French people, not just their government and military.



this is a problem, jokes about the french?

thats just great, they kidnap americans when they're on vacation or covering a news story, and cut their heads off! gee, which do you think is worse!

LeftCoastPhin
03-15-2003, 07:05 PM
Oh GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ, they are only JOKES!!! Like nobody tells American jokes? If I offended anyone, I'm NOT sorry. They are jokes! Just like the country of France. Hmmm, the U.S BAILED them out countless times and if it weren't for the U.S, they would be part of Germany. So, since we've given them everything they freaking have and they just spit on us in return, I think we should be able to make fun of their pansy asses. Lighten up guys.

dolfan06
03-15-2003, 10:27 PM
Originally posted by LeftCoastPhin
Oh GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ, they are only JOKES!!! Like nobody tells American jokes? If I offended anyone, I'm NOT sorry. They are jokes! Just like the country of France. Hmmm, the U.S BAILED them out countless times and if it weren't for the U.S, they would be part of Germany. So, since we've given them everything they freaking have and they just spit on us in return, I think we should be able to make fun of their pansy asses. Lighten up guys. i tell ya LCP, some of the people on this board have to be anemic, or thin skinned. one or the other!:rolleyes:

PhinPhan1227
03-17-2003, 10:46 AM
Originally posted by phinphan
Isn't this thread racist?? Would jokes about African Americans be acceptable here??



Race:-

"A local geographic or global human population distinguished as a more or less distinct group by genetically transmitted physical characteristics. "

There's no genetic trait for "Frenchness". If you want to know the difference between a nationality and a race, you can BECOME French. You can STOP being American. You can't become Black, you can't stop being Hispanic. That's the difference.