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View Full Version : **Official Chuck Norris Fun Facts Thread**



YM305
06-05-2006, 02:56 AM
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Roman529
06-05-2006, 03:04 AM
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.

:sidelol:

305TillIDie
06-05-2006, 03:29 AM
-You know what kind of furniture Chuck Norris has in his house? "Bowflex."

-Chuck Norris never blinks his eyes. Never.

-Guns dont kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

woody1351
06-05-2006, 10:09 AM
-"As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history."

Pennington's Rocket Arm
06-05-2006, 10:14 AM
a few months too late with this thread.

Majpain
06-05-2006, 12:30 PM
a few months too late with this thread.

Try a year...:lol:

Migs
06-05-2006, 12:59 PM
Here is a great avatar for ya

http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/5585/chucknorris2uh.gif (http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/5585/chucknorris2uh.gif)
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2006/06/chucknorris2uh-1.gif

ponchovilla
06-05-2006, 01:19 PM
Chuck Norris got into a testicle counting contest with god,







Chuck won by 6.

lazareth
06-05-2006, 01:39 PM
Chuck Norris got into a testicle counting contest with god,







Chuck won by 6.
hey bro! :wave:

ponchovilla
06-05-2006, 02:15 PM
What's up Laz?

lazareth
06-05-2006, 06:18 PM
What's up Laz?
lol...heck of a way to have a conversation

YM305
06-05-2006, 06:20 PM
Chuck Norris got into a testicle counting contest with god,







Chuck won by 6.

Chuck Norris got into a testicle counting contest with Lance Armstrong,







Chuck won by 6.

Mike13
06-05-2006, 09:57 PM
These jokes have gotten old already.

icephinfan
06-05-2006, 09:59 PM
These jokes have gotten old already.


:yes:

HysterikiLL
06-05-2006, 10:00 PM
that bowflex one is hilarious

Get Up And Go
06-06-2006, 01:05 AM
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight.




The Knife LOST!!!!

King Nate
06-06-2006, 02:30 AM
-"As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history."

This is the best one I have ever heard. By far. :chuckle:

JetsBlow99
06-06-2006, 02:39 AM
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

haha :D

JPhinfan86
06-06-2006, 05:56 AM
a few months too late with this thread.
Well I posted an identical one some months back. My personal favorite remains:

"When it rains, water doesn't get Chuck Norris wet. Chuck Norris gets water Chuck Norris."

Anyway, my amusement with that site kinda dried out.