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View Full Version : Is Patty Right, After All?



PatsRNada
08-16-2006, 05:04 PM
A Fictional Argument (0r Diatribe) -- Get That Tongue Out of Your Cheek-----


I happened to run into, (or actually she ran into me), a not much pretty or well-kept "woman" named Patricia, who goes by the shorter, more casual name of Patty.

She aggressively approached me, and said that she was not at all pleased with the naughty and asinine things that were being written about her team -- the Patriots -- and about the eminent football scholars on these boards who support and defend them.

She then went on to basically summarize the (according to her) absolutely cogent and nearly indisputable main points that have been brought forth and elaborated upon by the same-mentioned eminent Patriot scholars -- who, she also added and admitted, do roll and rattle around in an old rusty clunker bandwagon.
"And nothing wrong with that!", she sprayed upon me, "So, don't even go there!"

Her (and thus their) main points --

1. Patriots Can't Get No Respect.
She went into a convoluted, quarter-sensible, Faulknerian argument about the concept of "Dynasty", and how the past haunts the present and future as an inexorable, inescapable presence, tinting and coloring and influencing every present and future moment in a myriad of ways unfathomable to most dense and imperceptive Bronco fans -- and most other non-New England, anti-Transcendentalists (or, Standard Realists, I believe).
Bottom Line to first point -- the Patriots should be respected and worshipped at least thrice daily for their past achievements, and perhaps more if one truly wishes to be devoutly connected to Cosmic Vibrations in a content and happy fashion. At least once a day for your standard football galoot who wishes not to appear foolish.

2. Whimsical Luck and Petty, Envious Fate are against us because the Cosmos is Jealous of the Patriots' Remarkable, Dynastic Success.
She pointed out, first, that had the moon been in any other degree of any other phase than the ominous 19th degree of Cancer, then the Patriots would have defeated the Broncos. Far from being coincidence, or just bad lunar luck of the draw, she maintained (and cited several admittedly addled, but "respected," astrologers), it was, in fact, obvious Cosmic Revenge on her Patriots.
And even with that, furthermore, the whole notion that a great team like the Patriots can fail to advance merely because they play sloppier than your average pre-teen sandlot team is blatantly unfair and unjust. The opposing team, the dilettante Broncos, should receive no credit at all for merely scooping up what Fortune so peevishly presented them. All true thinking people can see that, she yelled.

3. Whining and Howling are, in fact, the Backbone of all Great Football and even Culture.
Her last point was shorter, yet even more vehement, as she was really working herself into an unpleasant tizzy. Laughing at, and/or mocking, whining and whiners is Anti-American, and anti-Western Civilization -- almost, she sputtered, Luddite, or very bumpkin-like, rubish and peasant-like at least. Whining is good, normal, and necessary, she screamed.
"What -- yes what", she hotly asked me, "is Greek and Shakespearean tragedy if not mainly the loud and literate whine and howl against Cosmic Injustice!!??"

Anyway, with her best point spat, she merely concluded that she had never, ever liked my comic books, nor my movies either.
Insubstantial and misleading crap for the masses, she said.
With that, she stalked off, still in quite a huff, trying, to no avail, to hail a taxi, and cursing and muttering loudly to herself. http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2006/08/th_eek-1.gif

Patty Troll Most easily Trounced Again

:cooldude:

like2god
08-16-2006, 05:14 PM
CLICK_ME (http://www.spam.com/)

:wink:

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icephinfan
08-16-2006, 05:21 PM
CLICK_ME (http://www.spam.com/)

:wink:

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:sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol: :sidelol:

retired opfinistic
08-16-2006, 05:38 PM
:tongue: :lol:
CLICK_ME (http://www.spam.com/)

:wink:

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PatsRNada
08-16-2006, 06:31 PM
CLICK_ME (http://www.spam.com/)

:wink:

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This is not SPAM

This is just answering questions-
To Patty Trolls who whine about respect
I relate them to a woman named Patty-
Get it?

:cooldude:

EBMisfit
08-16-2006, 06:34 PM
Cosmic Revenge on her PatriotsA more apropos acronym would have been Cosmic Revenge At her Patriots

Ronnie 23
08-16-2006, 06:35 PM
CLICK_ME (http://www.spam.com/)

:wink:

.

:sidelol:

Mike13
08-16-2006, 08:00 PM
:sidelol:

Those gayfers go wide right.