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View Full Version : The official "What will Gene Simmons think of next" thread.



Pagan
11-06-2006, 04:27 PM
This thread is for former KISS fans so we can laugh at the travesty Gene's turned them into by marketing any piece of crap he can think of with a KISS logo on it.

I'll start off with some of the doozies he's come up with. Feel free to add anything you remember or anything new that comes along, so we can all shake our heads and laugh.

********************

Rock your teeth clean — and encourage better brushing habits! — with the electronic KISS toothbrush that lets you hear two full minutes of "Rock and Roll All Night" while you brush!

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Sound vibrations stream from the bristles through your teeth — so you can actually hear music inside your head! To increase the volume, simply increase your brushing pressure! The better you brush, the better the sound!

The KISS toothbrush from licensee Hasbro is now available in the state of New York and will be released nationwide in early 2007.

********************

Lending a whole new meaning to the phrase "kiss and make up," the legendary rock band KISS has brought its brand name to a cosmetics counter near you.

Those who want to adopt the "rock and roll all night, party all day" lifestyle can now forgo the exhausting social whirl, and only spritz on some eau de Gene Simmons.

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

KISS Him cologne and KISS Her perfume, which went on sale on Oct. 1, are sold in department and retail stores for around $39.

There are also ancillary products like "Party Shower Gel," "Lovin' Body Lotion," "All Night Deodorant Stick" and "Rockin' After-Bath Splash" that will enable true believers to be KISSed from head to toe.

********************

Celebrity Cellars announces the launch of the new KISS limited edition, etched collectable wine bottle featuring the image from the band’s iconic Destroyer album. The KISS wine bottle made by Celebrity Cellars will be limited to only a thousand.

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Known internationally for their “rock and roll all night,” message, the hand-painted and hand-etched label embodies the band’s brand and image. The collection commemorates over 30 years of rock & roll by featuring the same art work from their fourth studio album in a classic form.

Celebrity Cellars, working in close collaboration with Signatures Network, Kiss's long-time merchandise and licensing representative, has been groundbreaking by producing collectable bottles that embody entertainment industry’s most celebrated artists.

The 2004 Alexander Valley Cabernet Sauvignon limited edition sells for $100 per bottle.

Its bouquet is a subtle blend of cassis, black currants and chocolate.

********************

And they wonder why the band has become a laughingstock. :shakeno:

WharfRat
11-06-2006, 04:30 PM
Heh ... yeah man, I used to work in spencer gifts home office, I could not believe some of the KISS stuff that used to go through there. :shakeno:

Pagan
11-06-2006, 04:31 PM
This one doesn't even need a story to go along with it. Opened this year in Myrtle Beach.

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Den54
11-06-2006, 05:25 PM
This one doesn't even need a story to go along with it. Opened this year in Myrtle Beach.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y179/Blazeland/a_ph-cons47-500.jpg


I'd go.:D

cnc66
11-06-2006, 05:30 PM
my favorite picture of Simmons, just before Randle said, "ef the reward" and pulled the pin...

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

the "before"

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

DeathStar
11-06-2006, 05:46 PM
Simmons, who says KISS has grossed more than $1 billion since 1974 from the sale of records, concert tickets and 2,800 licensed products, could settle down to a cushy life with his companion of 22 years, actress Shannon Tweed, and their two children.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2002867891_kissmarketer16.html

Den54
11-06-2006, 05:47 PM
my favorite picture of Simmons, just before Randle said, "ef the reward" and pulled the pin...

http://www.geocities.com/toonsfeet_99/wanted8.JPG

the "before"

http://www.geocities.com/toonsfeet_99/wanted10.JPG


What about Runaway?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088024/

Rocky Raccoon
11-06-2006, 06:17 PM
:lol:

all though I admit it, the toothbrush sounds awesome.

cnc66
11-06-2006, 06:25 PM
:lol:

all though I admit it, the toothbrush sounds awesome.

I know... I want one too....

PrepDogg
11-06-2006, 06:48 PM
You can't balme a guy for tryin' to make a buck. :D

Quelonio
11-06-2006, 06:49 PM
:lol:

all though I admit it, the toothbrush sounds awesome.

I was about to say that. I still can't believe it is real. I would love to have a toothbrush sing to me.

Den54
11-06-2006, 06:56 PM
I was about to say that. I still can't believe it is real. I would love to have a toothbrush sing to me.

What are you five? J/K.:lol:

FinaciousOne
11-06-2006, 08:30 PM
He wants to make sure he doesn't miss any opportunity to market to their most excited fans who,
when it comes to KISS, simply can't control themselves.
http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Rocky Raccoon
11-06-2006, 08:47 PM
He wants to make sure he doesn't miss any opportunity to market to their most excited fans who,
when it comes to KISS, simply can't control themselves.
http://s2.simpload.com/1106454fd1ecc8eea.jpg

:sidelol:

Colorado Dolfan
11-06-2006, 09:36 PM
He wants to make sure he doesn't miss any opportunity to market to their most excited fans who,
when it comes to KISS, simply can't control themselves.
http://s2.simpload.com/1106454fd1ecc8eea.jpg
:spit:

FinsNCanes
11-07-2006, 11:25 AM
Someoen explain to me the "legacy" of KISS. . .

I personally think they were horrible and nothing but good marketing and make up.

Holla at the huggers! What up Pagan?

Pagan
11-07-2006, 11:41 AM
Someoen explain to me the "legacy" of KISS. . .

I personally think they were horrible and nothing but good marketing and make up.
Nah bro, they only became that after they made it big.

The one KISS thing I WILL buy is the new DVD set, Kissology: Vol. 1, 1974-1977.

When they first started out, up until about the Destroyer album, they were young, hungry, lean and mean. They were like nothing anyone ever saw before, and their songs were basic 4 chord metal mayhem.

No one was ready for them, they blew everyone away.

Here's some samples:

Deuce ~ 1975 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=AWUtRsRUb_M)
Parasite ~ 1975 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=_oe55RNPHq8)

No bubblegum pop songs there.

Pagan
11-17-2006, 02:52 PM
Add yet another piece of worthless crap to the pile! :lol:

**********************

Pictured is the just approved color comp for a new KISS themed light. The product, by licensee Rabbit Tanaka, features a ceramic Gene Simmons with a lighted tongue.

The next stage is a pre production sample will be sent in for approval. It is estimated that this item will reach the retail market on March 1st, 2007.

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

retired opfinistic
11-17-2006, 05:45 PM
I used to have a ceramic Gene Simmons Bong!!!

Jaydog57
11-18-2006, 10:22 AM
I used to have a ceramic Gene Simmons Bong!!!Now that would be something to see:sidelol:

retired opfinistic
11-18-2006, 11:29 AM
Now that would be something to see:sidelol:when my dad figured out what the hell it was Gene suffered a concussion on the garage floor!:(

Silverphin
11-18-2006, 11:36 AM
when my dad figured out what the hell it was Gene suffered a concussion on the garage floor!:(

:sidelol:

retired opfinistic
11-18-2006, 11:37 AM
:sidelol:a concussion is nothing to laugh at!:wink:

Mike13
11-18-2006, 12:28 PM
So are you saying that toothbrush I just bought is a rip off?

retired opfinistic
11-18-2006, 01:29 PM
So are you saying that toothbrush I just bought is a rip off?don't let my dad find it!!!!

LOL

we were laughing about some of the crap I put him and my mom through when I was a teenager, the Gene Simmons Bong story is both of our favorites.

Pagan
12-01-2006, 02:46 PM
http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Pagan
05-23-2007, 10:33 AM
http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Mike13
05-23-2007, 01:14 PM
http://www.kissonline.com/news/images/kis41229.jpg

:lol: