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BAMAPHIN 22
12-21-2006, 07:20 PM
This is too funny to be true, but I’ll post it anyway: According to Jackson News-Tribune a guy wont have Sex (http://www.brakar.com/bookstore/search.php?keywords=sex) with is wife anymore, after he got a pet monkey. :eek:


DEAR ABBY: My friend “Suzy‘s” husband recently got a pet monkey named “Jocko.” He and the monkey play games (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=77&k=play%20games) together. The problem is he has now begun ignoring Suzy in favor of the monkey.

When Suzy wants to have Sex (http://www.brakar.com/bookstore/search.php?keywords=sex) and asks him to come to bed, her husband refuses and tells her, “I‘d rather spend time with Jocko [the monkey].” That‘s only the beginning. She told me she and her husband no longer share the same bed. He says, “Jocko needs company,” and he sleeps with it on the couch. He also has a special chair for Jocko at the table, etc.

I feel very bad for Suzy, but she doesn‘t want to break up with him. She thinks it‘s a passing fad. What should I do? — BILL IN BRONX, N.Y.

DEAR BILL: This couple has deeper problems than a simian in the household. I speak from personal experience when I say that monkeys do not make good house pets (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=77&k=house%20pets). (My mother had two cinnamon ringtail monkeys for about six months when I was a child. Among other things, they cannot be housebroken.)
When a husband would rather monkey around with his monkey than monkey around with his wife, you know the Marriage (http://www.brakar.com/bookstore/search.php?keywords=marriage) is in serious trouble. My advice to you is to take a giant step backward, but before you do, recommend to Suzy that she discuss the situation with a Marriage (http://www.brakar.com/bookstore/search.php?keywords=marriage) counselor. She and her husband need more help than I can offer in a letter.

NewEra8
12-21-2006, 07:24 PM
Thats my dream one day to have a pet monkey to smoke and drink with me...

But as for the article, maybe include the monkey and they can come to an agreement?

spydertl79
12-21-2006, 07:27 PM
This letter has to be a fake.

Slappy8800
12-21-2006, 07:29 PM
i wouldnt buy it normally, but the wording is so poor it has to be real

Sethdaddy8
12-21-2006, 07:34 PM
who goes out and gets a pet monkey...i mean, who the hell does that? Thats a thing anyone can do?

Celtkin
12-21-2006, 07:37 PM
who goes out and gets a pet monkey...i mean, who the hell does that? Thats a thing anyone can do?


Tarzan or someone in some urgent need of some good-old monkey lovin' :wink:

NewEra8
12-21-2006, 07:39 PM
who goes out and gets a pet monkey...i mean, who the hell does that? Thats a thing anyone can do?

I have no idea what you have to do to get one.... but tell me havin a monkey that goes and gets beers for you while youre watchin football wouldnt be awesome... a monkey wouldnt talk back like a wife/girlfriend

Sethdaddy8
12-21-2006, 07:45 PM
I have no idea what you have to do to get one.... but tell me havin a monkey that goes and gets beers for you while youre watchin football wouldnt be awesome... a monkey wouldnt talk back like a wife/girlfriend

but what about when it starts throwin its feces at the tv, and looking for something to hump...screw that man, monkeys are scary.

NewEra8
12-21-2006, 07:46 PM
then you just smack your monkey around a lil

NewEra8
12-21-2006, 07:47 PM
Unless its this guy http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2006/12/Evil_Monkey_301-1.gif

Sethdaddy8
12-21-2006, 07:48 PM
then you just smack your monkey around a lil


perhaps...even...spank...the monkey?:lol:

NewEra8
12-21-2006, 07:55 PM
perhaps...even...spank...the monkey?:lol:
...... ...... touche

Mike13
12-21-2006, 07:56 PM
i wouldnt buy it normally, but the wording is so poor it has to be real

What do you expect from a Jets fan?


perhaps...even...spank...the monkey?:lol:

:sidelol:

spydertl79
12-21-2006, 10:37 PM
If it is real then his wife should practice up or something, if a guy chooses anything over sex then the sex must not be very good.

dolphan117
12-22-2006, 12:22 AM
This is impossible to judge without a photo of the wife. It could be a perfectly reasonable attitude.