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View Full Version : If you had a second chance at the "one" that got away



jtown777
02-02-2007, 01:04 PM
what would you do? If she was the one you've thought of everyday since you lost touch. Well after 6 years, I am reunited with that "one". Mind you, I have a gf whom I love very much, but I never thought this would happen. She and I had a perfect yet untimely relationship. I was going through divorce and she was going through a career change. Now we're back conversing and reminiscing of us. I have some serious feelings for her and am now in a pickle. I know that it could be the best of both worlds but I am not about to juggle 2 lives. It was great to here from her and know that she feels the same way. I dunno guys, what do y'all think. I have been totally up front with her about my life and my circumstances. I promised myself that if we ever met again, I would give it a chance. You only live once, right? And you should be happy. And happy on your own terms, right? Well I knew that I could count on my brethren here for some insight and opinions.:confused:

Motion
02-02-2007, 01:11 PM
Yikes, thats definitely a sticky situation. One that I'm sure most people couldn't accurately give the best advice on unless they were in that spot. Good luck with that bro, hope everything works out for the best for everyone involved. As sappy as it sounds, just follow your heart! :D

FINintheMOON
02-02-2007, 01:13 PM
what would you do? If she was the one you've thought of everyday since you lost touch. Well after 6 years, I am reunited with that "one". Mind you, I have a gf whom I love very much, but I never thought this would happen. She and I had a perfect yet untimely relationship. I was going through divorce and she was going through a career change. Now we're back conversing and reminiscing of us. I have some serious feelings for her and am now in a pickle. I know that it could be the best of both worlds but I am not about to juggle 2 lives. It was great to here from her and know that she feels the same way. I dunno guys, what do y'all think. I have been totally up front with her about my life and my circumstances. I promised myself that if we ever met again, I would give it a chance. You only live once, right? And you should be happy. And happy on your own terms, right? Well I knew that I could count on my brethren here for some insight and opinions.:confused:

You only live once dude!!! Go for what you want because if you don't you will not only hate yuorself, but your current squeeze as well!

UltraDol-Fan
02-02-2007, 01:17 PM
wow, that is good and bad news all rolled into a tidy package.

Rafiki
02-02-2007, 01:20 PM
I'd stick with the girlfriend who's been faithful to you, and keep it strictly platonic with the other. What makes a man, at least to me, is the ability to do the right thing--rather than doing whatever makes you feel good at the expense of others.

jtown777
02-02-2007, 01:32 PM
Yeah, I guess for now I have to be really careful. I am elated to have her back in my life. However, it's the "where does she fit in" at this point (no pun there guys, lol). Friends, of course we are. That's how we were so good together at the time. It's not like I have to make some sort of harsh decision right at this moment. I'll give it time and continue (like Rafiki said) to keep a strictly friends approach with her. Good things guys good things! Thanks for all your responses!

Maynard the Hammer
02-02-2007, 01:42 PM
my concern would be losing both of them

Clark Kent
02-02-2007, 02:20 PM
Hook up with both.

If you love our current GF, you can't just end it. But you can't let the "one" get away either.

So, get with both and see which one works out best.

bullseyeguy
02-02-2007, 04:16 PM
How long have you been with the current GF?

UltraDol-Fan
02-02-2007, 04:28 PM
maybe you could move to Utah?

KingCrowder
02-02-2007, 04:34 PM
what would you do? If she was the one you've thought of everyday since you lost touch. Well after 6 years, I am reunited with that "one". Mind you, I have a gf whom I love very much, but I never thought this would happen. She and I had a perfect yet untimely relationship. I was going through divorce and she was going through a career change. Now we're back conversing and reminiscing of us. I have some serious feelings for her and am now in a pickle. I know that it could be the best of both worlds but I am not about to juggle 2 lives. It was great to here from her and know that she feels the same way. I dunno guys, what do y'all think. I have been totally up front with her about my life and my circumstances. I promised myself that if we ever met again, I would give it a chance. You only live once, right? And you should be happy. And happy on your own terms, right? Well I knew that I could count on my brethren here for some insight and opinions.:confused:


I say stick with your current gf. a lot could have changed after 6 years and the feelings may not still be there. and good luck getting back together with your current gf after dumping her for and old flame.

rob19
02-02-2007, 04:47 PM
wow man, tough situation to be in. I honestly couldent give you any useful advice on the situation without knowing the details and that im 16. My advice would be to do what you think is right for you. Your 36 so i dont know the seriousness of the current relationship and how its going and if you feel that you could spend the rest of your life with your current GF, if not id save go for the girl that got away. Hope that helps bro.

Superself
02-02-2007, 04:56 PM
what would you do? If she was the one you've thought of everyday since you lost touch. Well after 6 years, I am reunited with that "one". Mind you, I have a gf whom I love very much, but I never thought this would happen. She and I had a perfect yet untimely relationship. I was going through divorce and she was going through a career change. Now we're back conversing and reminiscing of us. I have some serious feelings for her and am now in a pickle. I know that it could be the best of both worlds but I am not about to juggle 2 lives. It was great to here from her and know that she feels the same way. I dunno guys, what do y'all think. I have been totally up front with her about my life and my circumstances. I promised myself that if we ever met again, I would give it a chance. You only live once, right? And you should be happy. And happy on your own terms, right? Well I knew that I could count on my brethren here for some insight and opinions.:confused:

If that were true, you would know deep down that the promise you made to that girl cannot be fulfilled. Imagine if you were married. Would you have the same thoughts then?
Now maybe you do not 'really' love your current GF as much as you thought you did?

bullseyeguy
02-02-2007, 05:04 PM
This thread is useless without pics...

sickdolphan
02-02-2007, 05:45 PM
lol @ bullseye

dreday
02-02-2007, 06:09 PM
If she got away,let her go.Too many other women to worry about out there.Def dont try the "get her back" ploy.Makes guys look simple.

DeathStar
02-02-2007, 06:10 PM
This thread is useless without pics...

:sidelol:

FINintheMOON
02-02-2007, 06:33 PM
Too many times in our lives we have said what if or if I had to do it all over again... Sounds like you have put some thought into this... You also stated that the feelings are mutual.

For every person, statistics say that there are 7 lifetime partners for each... I will have to dig up the stats as this was a few years ago...

What you have to do is question what is in front of you. You are the one that started this thread so obviously you have done that. You are now looking for an outside opinion to assist you in making a decision and that will only complicate it... This is your life. What do you want from it? This is your world, what do you want from it? When you die, this world dies as well. This is YOUR world to do with what you wish! Your death will not affect my world or anyone elses... (With the exception of those closest to you)

You are in charge of YOUR LIFE!!! Which woman will make you happier?

There has NEVER been a successful person, whether it be for love or business, that did not break a heart or let down a partner...:(

TokyoFishFan
02-02-2007, 08:18 PM
So...the question is...Why did she "get away" in the first place? Was there a previous relationship? If so, what didn't work? Would that come up again?

Is it possibled that your current gf will become the next "girl that got away?"

I'm looking at your age and thinking "mid-life crisis." Just remember that whatever decision you make, you really need to stick with it and make it work unless you just want to be a lonely old man.

Are you thinking "long-term" with your current gf? Is she the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? If not, cut her loose and go for it. If she is, take a cold shower.

HysterikiLL
02-02-2007, 08:26 PM
For every person, statistics say that there are 7 lifetime partners for each... I will have to dig up the stats as this was a few years ago...



Yeah but Hugh Hefner kind of skews that average out for the rest of us.

Kev83
02-02-2007, 08:32 PM
I was in this situation about 2 yrs ago...

chose to stay with the g/f that loved me and the one who I didn't have to think "what-ifs" and "why was she gone in the first place" scenarios.

Happily married for 6 months now. But I did touch the others girl's boobs briefly. Felt horrible about it, but I was drunk....and besides that was my first Asian! (gotta love wedding crashers).

Phin-o-rama
02-02-2007, 08:49 PM
threesome?

FinsNCanes
02-02-2007, 09:04 PM
what would you do? If she was the one you've thought of everyday since you lost touch.:confused:

Not get her pregnant again (yes, I'm serious).

:cooldude:


I think that kind of ruined anything in the future..

jtown777
02-02-2007, 09:22 PM
You guys are great! I am laughing hard at some responses, but I appreciate all your opinions.
The pics thing is true and I did think about that, believe me. They are both worthy of being posted here no doubt.
What happened was I was engulfed in a divorce that was incredibly difficult. Kids involved and all. She was changing careers and since she was 23 and I was 30, I felt it wasn't fair to drag her through it with me. I just felt I needed to let her go and not keep her hanging on. If I felt that much love for her I hda to let her go. Now she's back. And, just to make it more interesting, she's also in a relationship with someone like me. Just not as good according to her. I am not looking to marry my current gf. She knows that. It may sound like I'm a S.O.B., but marriage has really scarred me. I know there are many many happy marriages out there, I just choose not to be. And to tell you the truth, my gf now, I got with her because of the similarities between her and the other. No coincidence, it's what I looked for.
Oh hell with it! I'll do 'em both what'ya say fellas!!!! LOL!!! I'll stop being a pansy!!!
Seriously though, you guys are helping the cause!

Roman529
02-02-2007, 09:48 PM
Be careful JTown!!! Remember the old saying, "A bird in the hand, is worth more than two in the bush."

From my own experience you often think about the one who got away, but usually when you meet them a 2nd time if it very hard to have the kind of magic you once had. Things change over time and if someone got away the first time, they likely will get away a 2nd time.

If your current lady is right for you I would stick with her, but if you absolutely love the 1st one and feel she feels the same way, then go for it.

Damn, I am starting to sound like Dr. Phil. :lol: :wink:

HysterikiLL
02-02-2007, 09:57 PM
Be careful JTown!!! Remember the old saying, "A bird in the hand, is worth more than two in the bush."


:spit: You're dancing along the TOS with that one.

Roman529
02-02-2007, 10:05 PM
:spit: You're dancing along the TOS with that one.

:lol:

texasPHINSfan
02-02-2007, 10:13 PM
This thread is useless without pics...


lol

i think everything happens for a reason. there might have been a reason you were meant to run into her again. however, others have made a good point - she may not be the same person you remember. i would hang out with her and see if she's the same... if so, maybe you should just follow your heart.

MNFINFAN
02-02-2007, 10:50 PM
wow man, tough situation to be in. I honestly couldent give you any useful advice on the situation without knowing the details and that im 16. My advice would be to do what you think is right for you. Your 36 so i dont know the seriousness of the current relationship and how its going and if you feel that you could spend the rest of your life with your current GF, if not id save go for the girl that got away. Hope that helps bro.
What Rob means is that you are an old ******* and about to drop dead soon anyway so might as well have fun with both.

Or at least that what my old alcohol fueled brain is telling me he said.

WeVie
02-02-2007, 11:32 PM
Go for it dude.

Amars
02-02-2007, 11:57 PM
:spit: You're dancing along the TOS with that one.

:lol: :lol:

unifiedtheory
02-03-2007, 12:11 AM
This thread is useless without pics...:sidelol:

jtown777
02-03-2007, 12:30 AM
Well thanks again everyone. I promise to keep you posted. And for those that want to see pics say so and I'll PM when I load some up soon.

Sethdaddy8
02-03-2007, 01:22 AM
Do you live with your current GF ? How many kids do you have?

Sethdaddy8
02-03-2007, 01:28 AM
what would you do? If she was the one you've thought of everyday since you lost touch. Well after 6 years, I am reunited with that "one". Mind you, I have a gf whom I love very much, but I never thought this would happen. She and I had a perfect yet untimely relationship. I was going through divorce and she was going through a career change. Now we're back conversing and reminiscing of us. I have some serious feelings for her and am now in a pickle. I know that it could be the best of both worlds but I am not about to juggle 2 lives. It was great to here from her and know that she feels the same way. I dunno guys, what do y'all think. I have been totally up front with her about my life and my circumstances. I promised myself that if we ever met again, I would give it a chance. You only live once, right? And you should be happy. And happy on your own terms, right? Well I knew that I could count on my brethren here for some insight and opinions.:confused:
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2007/02/PP30557GodfatherFamily25-1.jpg (http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?aid=270661&item=1635807)

You can act like a man!

Just kidding, do what is best for you over time, and keep your kids in mind, incase a decision could directly influence them in any sort of negative/positive way.

NaboCane
02-03-2007, 03:38 AM
Everyone's experience and their frame of reference is different.

But if it was my "one that got away," I'd seduce her, lull her into thinking it was all good...then I'd kill the ***** in her sleep.

Then I'd make it look like a break-in.

The end.

muscle979
02-03-2007, 11:50 AM
You guys are great! I am laughing hard at some responses, but I appreciate all your opinions.
The pics thing is true and I did think about that, believe me. They are both worthy of being posted here no doubt.
What happened was I was engulfed in a divorce that was incredibly difficult. Kids involved and all. She was changing careers and since she was 23 and I was 30, I felt it wasn't fair to drag her through it with me. I just felt I needed to let her go and not keep her hanging on. If I felt that much love for her I hda to let her go. Now she's back. And, just to make it more interesting, she's also in a relationship with someone like me. Just not as good according to her. I am not looking to marry my current gf. She knows that. It may sound like I'm a S.O.B., but marriage has really scarred me. I know there are many many happy marriages out there, I just choose not to be. And to tell you the truth, my gf now, I got with her because of the similarities between her and the other. No coincidence, it's what I looked for.
Oh hell with it! I'll do 'em both what'ya say fellas!!!! LOL!!! I'll stop being a pansy!!!
Seriously though, you guys are helping the cause!

Are you kidding? I could say the same thing and I'm still married :lol: . But seriously, do them both and then make your decision. You're not married now so go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained right?

But if you do need to pick one I'm going to have to say default to the one with the bigger boobies. You really can't go wrong.

rob19
02-03-2007, 01:58 PM
What Rob means is that you are an old ******* and about to drop dead soon anyway so might as well have fun with both.

Or at least that what my old alcohol fueled brain is telling me he said.

:yes:

:sidelol: