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View Full Version : Players we MUST sign this offseason!



AWDphinfan
02-28-2007, 07:22 PM
We should sign all of these players ASAP in order to go undefeated next season:

Tiki Barber
Eric Moulds
Jerry Porter (Joey Porter too!)
Randy Moss
Terrel Owens
Jamal Lewis
Tiki Barber
Adam Archuletta
Kurt Warner
Dwight Freeney
Corey Dillon
Kris Mangum
Trent Green
Matt Schaub
Willis McGahee
Richmon Webb
Gale Sayers
Captain Lou Albano


HC? Marty Schottenheimer and Dennis Green to share head coaching duties.

Miss Anybody? Please feel free to update this list with every free agent and recent retiree announced during the FA period.

Raging Bull
02-28-2007, 07:24 PM
Are you ******ed?

Raging Bull
02-28-2007, 07:25 PM
you have tiki barber ont here and he's retired. Kurt Warner suckcs now too. WTF is a matter with you? Were you dropped on your head as an infant?

PhinGeneral
02-28-2007, 07:27 PM
you have tiki barber ont here and he's retired. Kurt Warner suckcs now too. WTF is a matter with you? Were you dropped on your head as an infant?

Me thinks the satire just flew over your head.

banzaitrey
02-28-2007, 07:29 PM
Spam?

AWDphinfan
02-28-2007, 07:30 PM
you have tiki barber ont here and he's retired. Kurt Warner suckcs now too. WTF is a matter with you? Were you dropped on your head as an infant?

No, I'm just someone who understands the subtleties of sarcasm and the humor in mockery. I guess you just didn't "get it". Perhaps you were dropped?

GEORGIA FIN
02-28-2007, 07:31 PM
We should sign all of these players ASAP in order to go undefeated next season:

Tiki Barber
Eric Moulds
Jerry Porter (Joey Porter too!)
Randy Moss
Terrel Owens
Jamal Lewis
Tiki Barber
Adam Archuletta
Kurt Warner
Dwight Freeney
Corey Dillon
Kris Mangum
Trent Green
Matt Schaub
Willis McGahee
Richmon Webb
Gale Sayers
Captain Lou Albano


HC? Marty Schottenheimer and Dennis Green to share head coaching duties.

Miss Anybody? Please feel free to update this list with every free agent and recent retiree announced during the FA period.


I heard we were going to dig up Lombardi's corpse and get him to be our new OC. Oh yea, we need to sign Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka at WR, and The Junkyard Dog at OLB. That would be sweet.

emocomputerjock
02-28-2007, 07:32 PM
Me thinks the satire just flew over your head.

I know the satire went right over his head :lol:

Geforce
02-28-2007, 07:35 PM
You have Tiki Barber on there twice. Why are we going to sign him to two contracts?

You also forgot about Dan Marino coming out of retirement for one last hurrah.

SweetLou
02-28-2007, 07:36 PM
No, I'm just someone who understands the subtleties of sarcasm and the humor in mockery. I guess you just didn't "get it". Perhaps you were dropped?
I feel your sarcasm, and I appreciate it. The amount of people on these boards that actually believe we are gonna be "big players" in free agency is amazing. We'll get some free agents, but they'll be along the lines of the Renaldo Hill and Andre Goodman signings last year, not along the lines of Nate Clements or Adalius Thomas.

Raging Bull
02-28-2007, 07:37 PM
It makes no sense. Maybe my sarcasm meter is broken. Still I think the post was utterly useless, and therefore re - tarded.

Irish Phin Fan
02-28-2007, 07:37 PM
Well here's 25 seconds of my life I will never get back after reading this.

SweetLou
02-28-2007, 07:38 PM
I heard we were going to dig up Lombardi's corpse and get him to be our new OC. Oh yea, we need to sign Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka at WR, and The Junkyard Dog at OLB. That would be sweet.

Maybe we should bring Bam Bam Bigelow back from the dead and put him on the o-line. I bet he could serve up more pancakes than IHOP.

CitizenSnips
02-28-2007, 07:38 PM
"Everyone in this room is now stupider from hearing what you've said. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
-The announcer from Billy Madison

Raging Bull
02-28-2007, 07:41 PM
"Everyone in this room is now stupider from hearing what you've said. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
-The announcer from Billy Madison


Well said my friend. Well said. The guy who posted this topic must chase penguins around on a regular basis.

GEORGIA FIN
02-28-2007, 07:42 PM
Maybe we should bring Bam Bam Bigelow back from the dead and put him on the o-line. I bet he could serve up more pancakes than IHOP.

Great idea. What about King Kong Bundy at LG? He's have the left side locked down for sure!!!!!!!!!

AWDphinfan
02-28-2007, 07:48 PM
Well here's 25 seconds of my life I will never get back after reading this.

What about the 15 seconds you spent bothering to reply? Who owes you for that?

Oh kiddies, this was definitely a distraction to your absolute hard nosed approach to uncovering those real free agent assets needed to improve the Dolphins fortunes. You know, the real serious threads that talk about signing Jamal Lewis, Randy Moss, Joey Porter (actually Jerry), TO, and such? I guess making fun of the daily stupidity that is these threads is an insult to the fine tradition of inquiring about EVERY FRIGGING FREE AGENT that's on the market. LOL!

melvindillon
02-28-2007, 07:54 PM
wow. I can't believe all these people who were asking for all these people, don't understand that this was making fun of them.

ashraf-23
02-28-2007, 07:55 PM
.......... no comment.

utahphinsfan
02-28-2007, 07:55 PM
Satire is good. Quoting Adam Sandler movies is bad.

DiepatriotsDie
02-28-2007, 07:58 PM
CAPTAIN LOU!!! It's genius! I'd have a hard time believing that Wayne H. hasn't at least considered it.

Alphamale
02-28-2007, 08:04 PM
you have tiki barber ont here and he's retired. Kurt Warner suckcs now too. WTF is a matter with you? Were you dropped on your head as an infant?

Just another example of someone that can't wait to blast someone on this site. What happened to the days of - if you don't agree with the post, you post a reply that is not attacking the poster (and you actually have a reason to disagree)? or you simply click on another one?

GEORGIA FIN
02-28-2007, 08:07 PM
CAPTAIN LOU!!! It's genius! I'd have a hard time believing that Wayne H. hasn't at least considered it.


You know he talked to Jimmy " The Mouth of the South" about it and he's all for it. He also suggested the British Bulldogs at both CB positions and the Ultimate Warrior Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine on Special Teams!!!! What an offseason that would be!!!!

FinAtic8480
02-28-2007, 08:08 PM
Jerry Porter ( Joey Porter ) thing was a typo, I tried fixing and I couldnt....

SweetLou
02-28-2007, 08:13 PM
You know he talked to Jimmy " The Mouth of the South" about it and he's all for it. He also suggested the British Bulldogs at both CB positions and the Ultimate Warrior Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine on Special Teams!!!! What an offseason that would be!!!!
Oh man, I can totally picture the Ultimate Warrior playing defense. Can't you just imagine him giving Tom Brady an old school clothesline? Maybe Ric Flair could rush onto the field and put Brady in the Figure Four.:lol:

GEORGIA FIN
02-28-2007, 08:15 PM
Oh man, I can totally picture the Ultimate Warrior playing defense. Can't you just imagine him giving Tom Brady an old school clothesline? Maybe Ric Flair could rush onto the field and put Brady in the Figure Four.:lol:


What about the Road Warriors, Animal and Hawk!!! They'd absolutely dominate!!!!!!!!

AWDphinfan
02-28-2007, 08:32 PM
Jerry Porter ( Joey Porter ) thing was a typo, I tried fixing and I couldnt....

No worries, man. The only malice and bitterness in this thread come from just a few. If we can't take jokes and laugh at ourselves once in a while then we're just people with asterisk filled replies or Adam Sandler movie quoters. Talk about scary!


An O-line cemented by Andre the Giant sounds formidable. "Andre the Giant has a posse..." (I hope somebody at least "gets that").

GEORGIA FIN
02-28-2007, 08:39 PM
Anrde the Giant would be great, and maybe he'd bring his son The Big Show too! How awesome would that be!!

GEORGIA FIN
02-28-2007, 08:49 PM
How could we forget about Big John Studd and Hacksaw Jim Dugan and Nikoli Volkoff and Jake The Snake Roberts and The Iron Shiek!!! Wow do we have enough cap room for all these guys? I sure hope so.