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Pagan
06-20-2003, 05:05 PM
With much thanx to MAD magazine! :lol:

____________________

MEN

The Man's Error - Length of time before he'll "get any"

1. Giggling at her for getting misty-eyed at the end of a chick flick - 4 days

2. Using ANY expression other than "making love" to refer to sex - 4 days

3. Tone of voice she doesn't like while talking about her mother - 5 days

4. Actually having the gall to say "No, I don't want to go" when she says "It's okay if you don't want to go." - 6 days

5. Saying "Shhhhhh!" to her during ESPN's SportsCenter - 8 days

6. Not allowing her to watch "Judging Amy" because there's a 3 Stooges marathon on AMC - 3 days

7. Bringing up the possibility of a threesome...
...with her friend - 2 days
...with her sister - 19 days
...with her Mom - 6 months

8. Shrugging your shoulders and grunting when she asks how the makeup she just spent an hour putting on looks - 2 days

9. Showing up 2 hours late for a date because "there was this really cool police chase on live TV" - 3 days

10. Not answering quickly or vehemently enough when she asks if you would ever cheat on her - 12 days

11. Scratching your balls and asking her "What the hell did you give me?" - 3 months

12. Accusing her of having PMS...
...when she doesn't - 8 days
...when she does - 12 days

13. Failure to be serious about relationship quiz in Cosmopolitan Magazine - 4 days

14. Casually remarking that you'd be willing to pay for implants if she wanted them - 3 weeks

15. Using logic - 6 days

WOMEN

The Woman's Error - Length of time before she'll "get any"

1. Selling off his prized baseball card collection - 30 minutes

2. Wrecking his car - 30 minutes

3. Running off with the mailman, but coming back after a week or so - 30 minutes

4. Accidentally enlisting him in the Marine Corps - 30 minutes

5. Running up a $1,000 phone bill calling psychic hotlines from his house - 30 minutes

6. Burning all his clothes - 30 minutes

7. Killing his mother - 30 minutes

8. Shredding his entire girlie mag collection - 30 minutes

9. Selling his dog to a Korean restaurant - 30 minutes

10. Slicing off his ***** with a kitchen knife, then tossing it into a vacant lot - 30 minutes

**********

Capt. Dick
06-20-2003, 05:10 PM
I actualy laughed out loud. :lol: :lol: :lol:

XoPhinsoX
06-20-2003, 06:11 PM
Girls want it just as much as guys.

So hell no ;).

If not more. . .

ohall
06-20-2003, 06:18 PM
Originally posted by Pagan
With much thanx to MAD magazine! :lol:

____________________

MEN

The Man's Error - Length of time before he'll "get any"

1. Giggling at her for getting misty-eyed at the end of a chick flick - 4 days

2. Using ANY expression other than "making love" to refer to sex - 4 days

3. Tone of voice she doesn't like while talking about her mother - 5 days

4. Actually having the gall to say "No, I don't want to go" when she says "It's okay if you don't want to go." - 6 days

5. Saying "Shhhhhh!" to her during ESPN's SportsCenter - 8 days

6. Not allowing her to watch "Judging Amy" because there's a 3 Stooges marathon on AMC - 3 days

7. Bringing up the possibility of a threesome...
...with her friend - 2 days
...with her sister - 19 days
...with her Mom - 6 months

8. Shrugging your shoulders and grunting when she asks how the makeup she just spent an hour putting on looks - 2 days

9. Showing up 2 hours late for a date because "there was this really cool police chase on live TV" - 3 days

10. Not answering quickly or vehemently enough when she asks if you would ever cheat on her - 12 days

11. Scratching your balls and asking her "What the hell did you give me?" - 3 months

12. Accusing her of having PMS...
...when she doesn't - 8 days
...when she does - 12 days

13. Failure to be serious about relationship quiz in Cosmopolitan Magazine - 4 days

14. Casually remarking that you'd be willing to pay for implants if she wanted them - 3 weeks

15. Using logic - 6 days

WOMEN

The Woman's Error - Length of time before she'll "get any"

1. Selling off his prized baseball card collection - 30 minutes

2. Wrecking his car - 30 minutes

3. Running off with the mailman, but coming back after a week or so - 30 minutes

4. Accidentally enlisting him in the Marine Corps - 30 minutes

5. Running up a $1,000 phone bill calling psychic hotlines from his house - 30 minutes

6. Burning all his clothes - 30 minutes

7. Killing his mother - 30 minutes

8. Shredding his entire girlie mag collection - 30 minutes

9. Selling his dog to a Korean restaurant - 30 minutes

10. Slicing off his ***** with a kitchen knife, then tossing it into a vacant lot - 30 minutes

**********

Man that was GREAT, thx for the laugh!

Oliver...

Prime Time
06-20-2003, 07:09 PM
:lol: :lol: True about girls. Girls want it just as bad as guys do.

iceblizzard69
06-20-2003, 07:29 PM
:lol:

t2thejz
06-20-2003, 08:45 PM
OMG.... I havnt laughed that hard in about 1 hour

XoPhinsoX
06-20-2003, 09:28 PM
Is it pouring anywhere else? :D

baccarat
06-20-2003, 10:00 PM
Funny and true :lol:

WeVie
06-20-2003, 11:09 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: