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Capt. Dick
06-21-2003, 01:21 AM
Maybe you do too.


Brain Cramps

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
``````````````````````````````````
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
````````````
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
`````````````````````````````
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
````````````````````````````
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne
```````````
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
``````````````````````````````````
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President
```````````````````
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
``````````
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another" --George Bush, US President
``````````````````````
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca
```````````
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
`````````````````````````````````````````
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
````````````````````````````````````````````
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
`````````````````````````````````
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President
``````````````````
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP
``````````
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery
```````````````
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
````````````````````````````````````````````
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
````````````````````````

....Feeling smarter yet? Send it on to your other brilliant friends, like I am doing

Jaydog57
06-21-2003, 02:21 AM
Originally posted by Capt. Dick
Maybe you do too.


Brain Cramps

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
``````````````````````````````````
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
````````````
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
`````````````````````````````
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
````````````````````````````
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne
```````````
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
``````````````````````````````````
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President
```````````````````
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
``````````
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another" --George Bush, US President
``````````````````````
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca
```````````
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
`````````````````````````````````````````
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
````````````````````````````````````````````
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
`````````````````````````````````
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President
``````````````````
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP
``````````
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery
```````````````
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
````````````````````````````````````````````
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
````````````````````````

....Feeling smarter yet? Send it on to your other brilliant friends, like I am doing Good stuff man, truer words have never been spoken:lol: :lol: :lol:

Muck
06-21-2003, 04:45 AM
I love that stuff!!

Pagan
06-21-2003, 08:19 AM
:lol: Great stuff!

GetReal
06-21-2003, 09:48 PM
"We are the President"

Did "WE" also like Monica?

WeVie
06-22-2003, 12:58 AM
That is some funny stuff

Capt. Dick
04-03-2006, 03:06 AM
bump.....thought it was funny enough to bring back.:lol:

d-day
04-03-2006, 03:09 AM
good stuff

stuff :hump:

CalDolFan1014
04-03-2006, 03:09 AM
:eek: Wow! Talk about a time warp!

Maynard the Hammer
04-03-2006, 03:23 AM
"We are the President"

Did "WE" also like Monica?i think it means "i am president"

Dolfan984
04-03-2006, 06:02 AM
I miss Jaydog :(

inFINSible
04-03-2006, 07:50 AM
:groovy:

let's do the time warp again!!


:www: Cap!

NaboCane
04-03-2006, 10:21 AM
:groovy:

let's do the time warp again!!


:www: Cap!

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif


:lol: Good stuff Capt!

ChrisKo
04-03-2006, 12:40 PM
Just to add to this, one of my all time favorite quotes.

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." (after being drafted by the Dallas Mavericks)
Jason Kidd

WharfRat
04-03-2006, 12:51 PM
bump.....thought it was funny enough to bring back.:lol:

:www: :cap:

Roman529
04-03-2006, 01:49 PM
My favorite quotes are by Yogi Berra...two of my favorites are:

1. When Yogi was playing in the outfield, he said "It gets dark early out there." :D and,

2. "Nobody ever goes to this restaurant anymore, it's too crowded. :smackhead

lazlo73
04-03-2006, 03:17 PM
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

Rocky Raccoon
04-03-2006, 03:31 PM
"Sixty percent of the time, it works every time" - Brian Fantana

Capt. Dick
04-03-2006, 05:25 PM
:groovy:

let's do the time warp again!!


:www: Cap!

Hi inFINS.:D .....Guess I`ll mosey on back to smack. That`s "home" to me. Two things I love in the morning....cup o` fresh coffee and screw`n up a bill`s fans day.:lol:

Capt. Dick
04-03-2006, 05:28 PM
:www: :cap:

Hey Jon....you heard anything from, or about, jaydog or iceblizzard?