View Full Version : Dancing Fool Garcia misses preseason time

08-20-2003, 08:01 PM
August 12, 2003 (NHS) -- Shortly before training camp was due to start on July 25th, Jeff Garcia suffered a back injury during a private workout in Los Angeles. Concerned team doctors scrambled with every possible treatment, including epidural injections. But Garcia himself outdid all those efforts and came up with a solution truly worthy of that legendary 49er genius:

He danced in a rap video.

Yes, that's right, folks. There's no better way to shake off that bulging disc in your back than to shake yo' *** with the MTV generation.

The 33-year old Garcia apparently did just that on July 27th after practice, performing an "energetic version of the chicken dance", according to the Sacramento Bee. He then proudly queried the gathered audience, "You didn't know I had those moves, did you?"

Actually, Jeff, what we didn't know is that you're such a complete and absolute moron that you would dance a jig with a hurt back, literally hours after doctors were painstakingly injecting drugs into your spine.

So now Garcia is riding pine and there's concern that he may have to miss all of the preseason. Of course, the company line is that it's just precautionary, so for you, the legitimate football fan, this affair will probably amount to nothing more than having to suffer your preparation for the upcoming NFL football season being interrupted with yet another of the ubiquitous "sky is falling" Bandwagon soap operas. Try clicking on some news of your favorite team, and no doubt you'll also be force-fed the plaintive Bay Area warbling about when oh when will poor Garthia will play again. Of course, you certainly won't hear anything about that dance, the most audacious fact to the story, that's being conveniently forgotten in the media.

Now, we're not trying to insinuate any cause-effect to the matter. Despite how awesome Garthia's moves were in his own humble opinion, they probably weren't responsible for aggravating his back injury. However, you can't deny the idiocy of Garcia's decision to go through with the video shoot under the circumstances, and if it had been just about any other quarterback, you'd likely be hearing jokes about it on Sportscenter. Instead, it looks like the best coverage of Garcia you can find is on MTV.


08-21-2003, 03:02 PM
Classic, lol, glad he isn't the Fins QB