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View Full Version : Update on my life: its ben a wile



JohnSimmons
06-03-2008, 02:18 AM
hey everywon this is John Simmons: i no that its ben a long time: you mite of herd about sum of the things that have ben going on in my life but i wanted to let you no firsthand: anyway this is what has happend resently: "o and sum of the pics are in links becaus i cood only put 10 pics in the post":


http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/textmessage-1.jpg
so the other day im at work and deside to text dug with my sell phone to see how hes doing: i hadnt talkd to dug for a couple of days and thaut that the text message would suprise him and help get him off of his troubel with women "he always gets ones who play games": also there was sumthing else i also wanted to tell him about:

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j54/JohnSimmonsCar/demontattoo.jpg
all of my frends no that i am a pashinet demon hunter and have killd many: many are suprised to learn that demons often do not take the form of themselves but actually can appear as bats, bugs, and cats: anyway to sho that i am not afraid of demons i thaut that it would be a good idea to get one on tatood on my stomack: this is the pic of the one i desided to get: i desided to tell dug about this tat in the text mesage:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/Copyofcarburning-1.jpg
well i texted dug but he never responded: a hour later i get a call from a payfone: he sed [hey John this is dug: ive had a bit of troubel: i put the brakes on so that i could consentrate on my texting and a car slammed into me: now my car is on fire:] he told me wear he was and i sed i wood be rite there: i new that this would be a good chanse to get sum pics: this is one of the pics i took:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/johnsimmonsportrait-1.jpg http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/me-1.jpg
on a different note im angry becaus of the portrate that my friend russ's wife painted of me: she sed she would make me look like royelty but i dont think that it looks like me:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/sugarglider-1.jpg
last nite i braut home my new pet "its called a sugar glider": my frend russ found it in the back of his semi and wanted to no if i cood take care of it: i sed [yes]:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/whitewolf-1.jpg
on the way home i stoppd at a store and baut this shirt for the summer: the women at the bars always come up and talk to me about my wolf shirts and i thaut that this would be a good won for the summer: as you can see there are to wite wolfs on this shirt "won is looking strait ahead and the other is looking to the side":

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j54/JohnSimmonsCar/women.jpg
well oviously my plan with the wolf shirt workd: all three of these women were interested in me and they sed to dug [hey is the man in the wolf shirt your frend]: dug sed [yes]: then they came up and talkd to me: then they came back to my plase and spent the nite:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/window-1.jpg
this morning after i let the women out i went back to bed but i had the feeling somewon was watching me: well i acted like i was sleeping but then i quickly grabbd by cam and fliped over in bed and got this pic: i dont no who he was but he put on his glasses and went running after i took the pic: so i folloed him:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/runningaway-1.jpg
we ended up in a parking deck and i got this pic as i was chasing him: i yelld [who are you]: he didnt anser: so i sed [i will beet it out of you at the top of this garaj]: at that point he started running faster and then i did to:

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j54/JohnSimmonsCar/smoke.jpg
i was almost up to him but then we turnd a corner and there was smoke all arownd me "he thru a smoke bom": i took this pic: i got confuzed in the smoke and lost him: i quickly sent dug a text message on my sell phone: it sed [dug get outside the parking garaj now: we have a situayshen: there is a man who will be trying to get out: he has glasses look for him and get him:]: well dug came runing to the parking lot below the deck just as the man was leeving:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/hangglider-1.jpg
this is the first pic dug got of the man: the man had jumpd off the deck with the glider: dug folloed him: i got to the top just as he was flying away: i found sum rocks and thru them at the glider: well i thru a couple of larj stones and he went down in the parking lot below:

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j54/JohnSimmonsCar/runningaway2.jpg
wen he landed he took off his cote and kept runing: dug got this pic: i yelld down to dug [get him dug: he has to pay]: unforchunitly the man jumpd over a fense and got away: if i had ben down there i wood have caut him: i no he will be back so i will keep waching:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2008/06/headbang-1.jpg
to burn off sum steem i went home and put on the song by the band saliva calld [yore diseese]: i invited sum women over and won of them tryd to headbang to the song: i sed [thats not corect: let me sho you:] so i started to do it rite and my frend russ took this pic: the women were clapping wile i did it:

well thats a update on my life: i hope its going good for you: i will talk to you soon:

John Simmons

d-day
06-03-2008, 04:32 AM
i have a feeling i know who that guy you were chasing was, john - did the guy in the glasses look anything like this?

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

i'm pretty sure it was retired dolfan stan! he's been trying to dodge the media but i've got the drop on him - save up a few of your smoke bombs for retired dolfan stan's 1st Annual Seafood Festival event - you can set them off there and should be able to get a clean shot at him - if he tries to get away on his hang glider again, wait til he gets up a little higher before you start hucking rocks at him

Nappy Roots
06-03-2008, 10:40 AM
bout time you updated us John. after you tell us your stories i try to pattern my life exactly after yours. but i can do it cause i suck and your great :(

retired opfinistic
06-03-2008, 11:28 AM
Best thread ever, anywhere.

Noodle Arm
06-03-2008, 02:47 PM
Whenever John Simmons posts about his life...I start to question my manhood.

retired opfinistic
06-03-2008, 03:06 PM
I am ashamed. My man card is nowhere near this cool.

PhinzN703
06-03-2008, 05:05 PM
Is this Dolfan Stan's twin?

Dolfan32323
06-03-2008, 11:00 PM
Is there a Church of John Simmons?

dolphinkev
06-04-2008, 01:42 PM
the spelling is pretty good, what neighborhood is he from.

texasPHINSfan
06-04-2008, 05:36 PM
this is golden :)

spydertl79
06-05-2008, 02:19 AM
Dolfan stan says go Duante... is he related to Daunte Culpepper? I notice that their first name is similar.
Screw UCF.