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View Full Version : Tebow has Chuck Norris beat.....



Roman529
01-13-2009, 04:33 AM
Check it out: :lol:

Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow's family once threw him a surprise party. Once.
Tim Tebow hits blackjack with just one card.
The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't stiff-armed you in the face.
When TimTebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.
Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for even HAVING a weakness.
Tim Tebow doesn't do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down.
Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.
Tim Tebow counted to infinity. Twice.
In the beginning there was nothing. Then Tim Tebow stiff-armed that nothing in the head and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade.
When Google can't find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help.
What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.
Tim Tebow has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. That animal became what is now known as the giraffe.
Tim Tebow is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Tim Tebow is the reason Waldo is hiding
When Tim Tebow wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
When taking the SAT, write "Tim Tebow" for every answer. You will score more than 1600.
Tim Tebow can dribble a football.
Tim Tebow was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the whooshing sound of a stiff-arm.
Tim Tebow can kick start a car.
Tim Tebow gets called for roughing the tackler.
When Tebow spikes the ball, he strikes oil.
You can lead a horse to water, but Tim Tebow can make him drink.
Tim Tebow doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Tim Tebow can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30 A.M.
Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Tim Tewbow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris once squared off. The fight lasted for 4 years, then Tebow realized that he was actually in a fight. He immediately stiff armed Chuck Norris upon this realization. This event is referred to as the "Big Bang"
Tim Tebow saved the manatees. Then he stiff armed them back on the endandered species list so they wouldnt get cocky.
Tim Tebow was Jarome Bettis' stunt double
Little known medical fact: Tim Tebow invented the Caesarean section when he bull-rushed his way out of his mother’s womb. He thought it was 4th down.
Tim Tebow invented the pedestal. Then he invented the stiff arm to have something to knock people off it.
The recent earthquake off the coast of Florida measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, or .024 Tim Tebows.
Gandhi didnt fast, Tim Tebow simply got drunk one night and ate all his food
A spike in Tim Tebow stiff arms caused the tooth fairy to go broke in 1997.
An Ohio St Fan once told a joke at Tim Tebow's expense... well we all know what happened next.
Tim Tebow told Steve Irwin not to mess with stingrays.
Hollywood asked Tim Tebow to play the juggernaut in X-Men, but he was busy that day.
You don't hit Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow hits you!
Tim Tebow doesn't get sacked. Tim Tebow sacks defensive linemen.
Tebow doesn't throw interceptions, he throws the ball to you so he can hit you on the return.
SuperMan wears Tim Tebow Pajamas. So does Lou Holtz.
Tim Tebow counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Tebow met all three bullets with his stiff arm, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer.
At birth, Tim Tebow came out arms first so he could stiff arm the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Tim Tebow but Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Tim Tebow sleeps with a night light. Not because Tim Tebow is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Tim Tebow.
Rome wasn’t built in a day because Tim Tebow wasn’t born yet.
When Tim Tebow eats, he doesn’t have to wait 30 minutes to swim.
Freddy Krueger is scared to sleep because he might meet Tim Tebow in his dream.
Tim Tebow’s number is 15 because that’s how many players it takes to tackle him.
A meteor didn’t kill the dinosaurs; Tim Tebow did in a pickup football game.
Referees created instant replay so they could admire Tim Tebow more than once.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tim Tebow's forearm.
They once asked Ray Louis if he'd like to run full speed at Tim Tebow, and he said "No".
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Tim Tebow. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Tim Tebow.
When Tim Tebow was a kid he made his mom finish HER vegetables.
Tim Tebow loves women. All of them. At the same time.

Paul Mad ScotPZ
01-13-2009, 05:35 AM
Whos Tim Tebow :unsure:

JCane
01-13-2009, 05:51 AM
Whos Tim Tebow :unsure:

Some **** that wears jorts.

LOSS

phinfan33
01-13-2009, 12:09 PM
Whos Tim Tebow :unsure:
Florida Gators QB...

JCane
01-13-2009, 12:37 PM
Maybe I overlooked it but my favorite one is:

"Tim Tebow once killed a terrorist for Show and Tell."

Dolfan3773
01-13-2009, 06:38 PM
Lol...

TedSlimmJr
01-13-2009, 07:24 PM
Here's my favorites...

The reason Tim Tebow made his face look bloody against FSU was because he knew Chuck Norris only likes to make people bleed on his own...







Tim Tebow once submitted paperwork to a draft advisory committee (otherwise known as Chuck Norris) to determine his potential worth in the NFL...once Chuck Norris told him he REALLY WAS the 4th best quarterback in the Big-12...he grabbed a microphone and told all the fans that he was "..remaining loyal to the University and coming back"..for his senior season...:sidelol:

X-Pacolypse
01-13-2009, 08:16 PM
Tim Tebow fears Chad Henne. Seriously, Henne is probably pissed that Tebow has turned Chad's "Henneisms" into "Tebowisms."

eric1589
01-14-2009, 01:54 AM
Whos Tim Tebow :unsure:

he is just one, of millions of people NOT to win the 2008 heisman trophy.

Treh"0"Five
01-14-2009, 01:57 AM
Tim Tebow for President!!!!

HurriPhin
01-15-2009, 02:00 PM
Tim Tebow once submitted paperwork to a draft advisory committee (otherwise known as Chuck Norris) to determine his potential worth in the NFL...once Chuck Norris told him he REALLY WAS the 4th best quarterback in the Big-12...he grabbed a microphone and told all the fans that he was "..remaining loyal to the University and coming back"..for his senior season...:sidelol:

:sidelol: My fav so far!

LtDan
01-15-2009, 02:30 PM
Boo



Chuck will crush Tim because of this farce

Ima_Cowboy
01-19-2009, 11:38 PM
Lol...

heres one: Superman may be able to stop a speeding bullet, but if Tim Tebow were to throw it, Superman wouldn't be able to stop it

Not very good, i sorta made it up

PhinsRDbest
01-20-2009, 12:24 AM
Whos Tim Tebow :unsure:
He's a
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2009/01/holden_spraypaint-1.gif

TonySporanoTuna
02-04-2009, 06:13 PM
Tim Tebow once submitted paperwork to a draft advisory committee (otherwise known as Chuck Norris) to determine his potential worth in the NFL...once Chuck Norris told him he REALLY WAS the 4th best quarterback in the Big-12...he grabbed a microphone and told all the fans that he was "..remaining loyal to the University and coming back"..for his senior season...:sidelol:
I don't get it.

Findetta
02-04-2009, 06:56 PM
lol one of Oklahoma's players said Tebow might be the 4th best QB if he played in the Big-12 Conference. The NFL Draft Advisory committee (Chuck Norris) confirmed it. That Tebow would not go higher than the 2nd round if he was lucky. He's projected to probably go in the 3rd or 4th round. Basically Chuck said stay in school don't embarass yourself and Tebow said Yes Sir.
On a side note, Sam Bradford returned to Oklahoma to avoid being drafted by the Lions.