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View Full Version : Should your wife have guy-friends?



BAMAPHIN 22
01-23-2009, 12:38 PM
When Suzanne Babb, a 34-year-old professional organizer from Gilbert, Arizona, is having a bad hair day, she does what many women do. She calls her best friend.



"I'll be crying my eyes out and will say, 'I'm fat and ugly, and I don't have a boyfriend,'" she says. "Then Eric will come over and tell me I'm pretty, and we'll watch '300.' It's like having all the benefits of a really great husband -- without having to do the laundry."


Babb is one of many adults whose platonic friendship contradicts the old "When Harry Met Sally" maxim about sex always getting in the way of men and women being buddies. Though they have been close since high school, Babb says she and Eric have never even kissed.



"It would be like kissing my brother," she says. "Ewwwww."


http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/01/23/lw.opposite.sex.friends/index.html

Dolphan7
01-23-2009, 11:49 PM
I don't know about this. Your spouse is supposed to be your friend, the one you share things with, the one you run to when you are feeling down etc......Having a opposite sex friend to take the place of the spouse is just asking for trouble.

Locke
01-24-2009, 12:07 AM
I don't know about this. Your spouse is supposed to be your friend, the one you share things with, the one you run to when you are feeling down etc......Having a opposite sex friend to take the place of the spouse is just asking for trouble.

I would agree D7. Your best friend should be your spouse, in the optimal marriage. However, I would see no problems with a spouse having friends of the opposite sex if you are indeed her first choice. My fiance has quite a few male friends that she'll occasionally have lunch with or catch a movie if I'm occupied. It puts no strain on our the relationship. Granted, we have a pretty healthy relationship in my opinion, so it may be different for others....

Dolphan7
01-24-2009, 12:12 AM
I would agree D7. Your best friend should be your spouse, in the optimal marriage. However, I would see no problems with a spouse having friends of the opposite sex if you are indeed her first choice. My fiance has quite a few male friends that she'll occasionally have lunch with or catch a movie if I'm occupied. It puts no strain on our the relationship. Granted, we have a pretty healthy relationship in my opinion, so it may be different for others....Well every marriage is different, and I would hope that the relationship between the spouses is very very strong. My only other thought would be not only do you trust your spouse, but do you trust those friends of hers. Too many times I have seen the "friend" take advantage of the wife in a weak moment, and then it's too late.

Locke
01-24-2009, 05:17 AM
Well every marriage is different, and I would hope that the relationship between the spouses is very very strong. My only other thought would be not only do you trust your spouse, but do you trust those friends of hers. Too many times I have seen the "friend" take advantage of the wife in a weak moment, and then it's too late.

Yeah, I can definitely see the cause for concern. Luckily in my case, I met her initially through some mutual friends. In our case, her friends are my friends, and vice-versa. Its an extremely solid social circle. I have no worries at all. I could definitely understand concerns if I wasn't too familiar with the friends though...

PhinzN703
01-24-2009, 12:41 PM
Yeah, I can definitely see the cause for concern. Luckily in my case, I met her initially through some mutual friends. In our case, her friends are my friends, and vice-versa. Its an extremely solid social circle. I have no worries at all. I could definitely understand concerns if I wasn't too familiar with the friends though...

That's it right there. Since your friends are her friends too, the situation is okay. But if she had friends you never met before and aren't that close with, the situation then becomes a little tricky.