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Bumpus
01-28-2009, 05:10 PM
The Church of Bumpus-ism is in it's infancy.

The revelation came unto me as I sat becoming inebriated at my local watering hole one evening...

...God said unto me: The world's religions are wrong. They have become too rigid and unyielding. It is up to you to correct this injustice.

I, Bumpus, am the prophet.
We are currently a very small congregation (me and a bunch of drunk buds from the bar) However, we accept ALL conversions from any faiths, or no faith at all.

We are in the process of crafting our commandments. The catch: commandments are not to include "thou shalt not..." - only "thou shalt..."

1) Thou shalt honor thy beverage brewed with hops and barley.
2) Thou shalt believe in thy teams (unless it's the NY Jets:lol:)
3) Thou shalt enjoy life to it's fullest.
4) Thou shalt be accepting of others.
5) Thou shalt be expressive of your opinions.
6) Thou shalt smell what The Rock is cooking.

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 05:12 PM
Anyone is welcome to join. Simply think up an acceptable commandment, and you're in.

Blackocrates
01-28-2009, 05:26 PM
Thou shalt keep it real.
Thou shalt do thy neighbor as long as she's hot.
Thou shalt sleep in on a Sunday, but wake up for kickoff.

PhinPhan1227
01-28-2009, 05:38 PM
Thou shalt "bump" this thread in perpituity.

Thou shalt smite anyone puts vinegar on french fries.

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 06:03 PM
... Nice.

Both accepted.
Welcome to Bumpus-ism, stay as long as you like. :)

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 06:10 PM
Thou shalt only shake it twice ... unless you struck out at the bar.

Dolphan7
01-28-2009, 06:14 PM
Thou shalt exalt the Miami Dolphins forever and ever..amen!

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 06:20 PM
Thou shalt pretend to listen to what women say ... if they've got luscious hooters.

Finfang
01-28-2009, 06:20 PM
Thou shalt think twice before opening threads by Bumpus! :D

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 06:23 PM
:lol:
Yes! Even D7 is getting into the spirit of Bumpus-ism. Maybe this thing will have legs. Tax-free status, here I come.
:lol:

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 06:24 PM
Good one, brother Finfang.

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 06:27 PM
OK, boys ... off to the bar for the Pens game. Honoring commandments 1 & 2.

ih8brady
01-28-2009, 07:17 PM
Thou shalt not steal, except rings from Robert Kraft.

Dolphan7
01-28-2009, 08:29 PM
Thou shalt refrain from killing......a thread before it's time.

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 11:03 PM
Ih8Brady ... Nice one!

D7 ... Please re-phrase: note commandment guidelines in op.

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 11:05 PM
perhaps: Thou shalt refrain from murder.

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 11:08 PM
BTW ... success tonight in my attempt to honor the first two commandments. I'm drunk and the Pens beat the Rangers 6-2!!!

Bumpus-ism RULES!!!
:lol:

Bumpus
01-28-2009, 11:14 PM
also, just realized. Wow. I have been following #1. :lol:

Re-phrase: Thou shalt steal rings from Robert Kraft.

Locke
01-29-2009, 01:36 AM
Thou shalt do thy neighbor as long as she's hot.


:lol:

Blackocrates
01-31-2009, 02:56 AM
Thou shalt urinate on the shrubbery if thou desire, no matter if public or private.

Bumpus
01-31-2009, 05:46 PM
Thou shalt smell it first, if thou dealt it.

Bumpus
01-31-2009, 05:49 PM
Thou shalt believe in the power of cheese.
Thou shalt continue to wipe 'til it comes back clean.

Blackocrates
01-31-2009, 09:28 PM
Thou shalt continue to wipe 'til it comes back clean.

:lol:

Thou shalt bath if necessary.

WVDolphan
01-31-2009, 09:50 PM
Thou shalt curse donkeys who call off all their money with weak draws and beat you when you flop a set.

Bumpus
02-01-2009, 11:33 AM
:lol:
WV, that actually happened to me last night. I probably wouldn't be laughing right now, if not for the fact that I ended up beating him heads-up.

PhinPhan1227
02-01-2009, 05:25 PM
Though shalt eat only finger foods on SuperBowl Sunday.

Marino613
02-03-2009, 02:12 AM
Though shalt attempt sometimes to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme, that's right, on time although it is tricky (especially when strictly observing commandment #1).

Mazinator1027
02-09-2009, 09:53 PM
Thou shalt "bump" this thread in perpituity.

Thou shalt smite anyone puts vinegar on french fries.

What!? Vinegar on french fries is awsome.

Bumpus
02-09-2009, 10:58 PM
Thou shalt call the killers of Kenny, *******s.

Marino613
02-09-2009, 11:02 PM
Thou shalt call the killers of Kenny, *******s.

Unless it is on a forum like Finheaven :lol:

I call this religious persecution! Let the man practice the religion!!

1 dol fan
02-15-2009, 02:22 PM
Thou shalt refrain from lighting self on fire in the middle of a street to prove a point. (we have few enough followers as it is, can't afford to lose any LOL)

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2009/02/monkjpgusgAFQjCNHmo_pyS4ZixsL0R5tPjlRfER-1.jpg

Bumpus
03-23-2009, 04:17 PM
Thou shalt cast thy vote for Bumpus in FinHeaven March Madness.

Bumpus
04-30-2009, 07:00 PM
Thou shalt enjoy luscious hooters, be they clad in a bikini, wet t-shirt, or nothing at all.

Bumpus
07-14-2009, 03:40 PM
Thou shalt ignore those who create "uniform/logo change" threads simply because the off-season is boring.

JT-forpresident
07-14-2009, 05:36 PM
Thou shalt never eat a salad at McDonald's

Thou shalt slap a man eating a McDonald's salad

Vaark
07-16-2009, 02:50 PM
Thou shalt always sheath thy life-giving implement prior to ministering to an attentive new flock.

Bumpus
11-24-2009, 08:34 AM
Thou shalt stomp upon the Pitt Panthers in the Backyard Brawl.

Thou shalt spit venom at Wanny all game long.

Bumpus
05-22-2011, 03:35 PM
With the recent confusion caused by the false doomsday prophesy, Team Bumpus would like to set the record straight for posterity.


The Church of Bumpus-ism clearly teaches us through the word of the prophet Bumpus that the world will end precisely at the stroke of 14:17 pm on Monday, February 39, 3822. However, since mankind will have changed the worldwide calendar & time systems due to the Garxon invasion of Earth (& subsequent battle that led to the Earth's rotation reversing itself causing our orbit to expand concentrically further from the sun) ... It's still a little bit fuzzy as to just exactly when that'll be.

Bumpus
09-18-2012, 08:13 PM
Thou shalt bump this thread whenever it falls from page one.

Bumpus
02-07-2013, 03:16 PM
Thou shalt convert Statler.

cbreeden
06-27-2013, 04:31 PM
Thou shalt honor the Bumpus through which hilarious things flow!

....not to mention rented beer, noxious odors and payday cash at the local brothel. :chuckle:

MAYHEM
07-03-2013, 07:30 AM
Though shall at least once a week throw a dead animals ass on an open fire whilst drinking from a brown bottle.

Bumpus
07-23-2013, 08:16 PM
Though shall at least once a week throw a dead animals ass on an open fire whilst drinking from a brown bottle.

Odd. But it followed the commandment format, so ... Accepted.

Welcome, brother Mayhem!

Bumpus
07-23-2013, 08:23 PM
Thou shalt resist the urge to inflict "yet-to-be-earned" nickname threads upon the good posters of FH.

Thou shalt only refer to a player as a "beast" when said player earns such designation.


So sayeth the Prophet. :up:

Bumpus
10-07-2013, 12:43 PM
Thou shalt believe in the power of the bye week to salvage the season's correct path.

fishfanmiami
10-08-2013, 02:43 PM
Thou shall NEVER let one's meat loaf

Bumpus
07-11-2014, 04:52 AM
Thou shalt vote Libertarian, even if (especially :lol:) as a goof.