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View Full Version : how do i get my ex girl back?



dolfan305
04-13-2009, 05:53 AM
i need help. serious ****, i was with her 4 and a half years. she left me cause she couldnt deal with my attitude anymore. im crazy. its been 5 months since she left me and we have talked maybe 4 times in those 5 months and all i do is tell her that ill change and that i still love her. i tell her all the stuff i really mean. and i have got help for my attitude and jealousy. i know some of you think that im bull****ting but im serious. i really want her back. sometimes when we have talked i feel she wants me back but she doesnt make the action. i havent seen her in those 5 months, only talked a few times like i said. i know she is not with someone else. what the hell should i do???? help a fin fan out. GO DOLPHINS!!!!!!

p.s. for those who are giving me serious help, THANK YOU

CedarPhin
04-13-2009, 06:09 AM
I guess just try and talk things out, try to find a common ground, and rebuild it from there.

If it doesn't work out with her, there are always more fish in the sea.

Dolphins7273
04-13-2009, 08:22 AM
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2009/04/r10ex3-1.jpg

jared81
04-13-2009, 09:53 AM
dude, you should move on......im sorry, i know thats not the response you want......but you will continue to have this issue with her.

Tetragrammaton
04-13-2009, 11:09 AM
Your location says Los Angeles and Miami. It seems like you would have other options.

SpurzN703
04-13-2009, 12:05 PM
i need help. serious ****, i was with her 4 and a half years. she left me cause she couldnt deal with my attitude anymore. im crazy. its been 5 months since she left me and we have talked maybe 4 times in those 5 months and all i do is tell her that ill change and that i still love her. i tell her all the stuff i really mean. and i have got help for my attitude and jealousy. i know some of you think that im bull****ting but im serious. i really want her back. sometimes when we have talked i feel she wants me back but she doesnt make the action. i havent seen her in those 5 months, only talked a few times like i said. i know she is not with someone else. what the hell should i do???? help a fin fan out. GO DOLPHINS!!!!!!

p.s. for those who are giving me serious help, THANK YOU

Don't have an attitude or be crazy. Should work out after you take care of those two things

Norcal Skunk
04-13-2009, 12:29 PM
i need help. serious ****, i was with her 4 and a half years. she left me cause she couldnt deal with my attitude anymore. im crazy. its been 5 months since she left me and we have talked maybe 4 times in those 5 months and all i do is tell her that ill change and that i still love her. i tell her all the stuff i really mean. and i have got help for my attitude and jealousy. i know some of you think that im bull****ting but im serious. i really want her back. sometimes when we have talked i feel she wants me back but she doesnt make the action. i havent seen her in those 5 months, only talked a few times like i said. i know she is not with someone else. what the hell should i do???? help a fin fan out. GO DOLPHINS!!!!!!

p.s. for those who are giving me serious help, THANK YOU


Two pieces of advice. Start smokin herb to keep your attitude in check, and get some anger management. Thats what I did. I didnt get my ex back, but I sure do lead a happier life. lol.:hi5:

1 dol fan
04-13-2009, 01:30 PM
Two pieces of advice. Start smokin herb to keep your attitude in check, and get some anger management. Thats what I did. I didnt get my ex back, but I sure do lead a happier life. lol.:hi5:
That is actually a viable option since you can really figure out whether or not you really (and I mean truly) need or wish to bother with this problem.

If it's important to you, you will find a why when your ripped. If not, then I imagine its either not worth it or you're one toke over the line (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql0IB1zv2MA).

but this is all up to you since I don't know the details of everything and I don't want to encourage a lifestyle change that you may have hostile feelings towards.

Reach for the stars.

playmaker1
04-13-2009, 01:40 PM
Sucks to hear, but it probably best to just move on and start clean. She is still on your mind because you can only picture her right now. Get on a few chicks and have some fun, go out with some friends and live it up. Enjoy being single and you will forget about her in time. Chances are, you will meet someone new and better, and someone who likes you for you no matter the attitude.

From my experiences, she left for more reason than she told you. And if you have hardly spoken in that long, then she has already started to move on. You are telling her you will change, and how much you care. A relationship is a two way street, and if she isnít saying that she is interested in giving it another try, and that she is willing to make changes alsoÖ than it is time to let go. Sitting around and thinking about her when she is probably not thinking about you is only hurting yourself and holding you back from you living your life.

I know it sucks to be in your place. Iíve been there before too. This is just how I have gotten through things. Good luck brother.

eger
04-13-2009, 01:56 PM
i need help. serious ****, i was with her 4 and a half years. she left me cause she couldnt deal with my attitude anymore. im crazy. its been 5 months since she left me and we have talked maybe 4 times in those 5 months and all i do is tell her that ill change and that i still love her. i tell her all the stuff i really mean. and i have got help for my attitude and jealousy. i know some of you think that im bull****ting but im serious. i really want her back. sometimes when we have talked i feel she wants me back but she doesnt make the action. i havent seen her in those 5 months, only talked a few times like i said. i know she is not with someone else. what the hell should i do???? help a fin fan out. GO DOLPHINS!!!!!!

p.s. for those who are giving me serious help, THANK YOU

That's your personality, you likely won't change. Well you will change, for the first month or two on good behavior and then the same issues stop popping up. Unless your attitude and jealousy issues are due to low self-esteem on your part and if not it's just your personality.

Flip Tanneflop
04-13-2009, 02:13 PM
You should quit wasting time thinking about her and move on. Not what you want to hear but, its just how it is. This is one of lifes most difficult things, but it happens to almost everyone and you just have to accept it and move forward. If you really are willing to change what she dosent like about you then maybe someone else will notice you.

However, Im of the belief that we cant run from who we are. Perhaps youre just a guy with a little bit of a tude. Perhaps you should learn to accept that in yourself. That dosent mean that its a good thing or a bad thing. If you having a tude makes you do stupid things then it could hurt you in alot of ways and you will have to figure out how to manage that. But, if its just a case of youre a guy with a tude and its just part of who you are and it dosent cause you to be cruel to others or make bad choices...well then you just need to live with that.

Someone will like you just the way you are(maybe) and thats the person you need to be with....not the ex. Either way, you will be better off without her even if you dont find someone else. If you find peace within yourself and can live with who you are then you have something whether you find someone else or not.

But, basically you have to move on dude. The worst thing you can do is be with someone that dosent truly accept you for who you are.....especially if that someone is yourself.

Cassiopeia
04-13-2009, 03:51 PM
i need help. serious ****, i was with her 4 and a half years. she left me cause she couldnt deal with my attitude anymore. im crazy. its been 5 months since she left me and we have talked maybe 4 times in those 5 months and all i do is tell her that ill change and that i still love her. i tell her all the stuff i really mean. and i have got help for my attitude and jealousy. i know some of you think that im bull****ting but im serious. i really want her back. sometimes when we have talked i feel she wants me back but she doesnt make the action. i havent seen her in those 5 months, only talked a few times like i said. i know she is not with someone else. what the hell should i do???? help a fin fan out. GO DOLPHINS!!!!!!

p.s. for those who are giving me serious help, THANK YOU

WVDolphan gave great advice! i hate to tell you this, but if its been that long and she has barely spoken to you, i don't think getting back together is in the cards. :( unless there is something you aren't mentioning, i think the best you could hope for is some meaningless sex if she gets lonely one night.

the thing about girls, at least mature ones, and i don't know how old you and your ex are, is that once we've made up our mind on moving on from an ex, theres not much you can do about it. guys tend to dwell on exes a bit more because of the sex aspect. girls are emotional creatures, and once that emotion connection is gone, its not coming back. girls who go back to their exes are the ones who still have the emotions there. it sounds to me like she has moved on.

as for saying you've changed, i think WVDolphan said it all. first, you haven't changed. you're pining over an ex so you may have convinced yourself that you changed in hopes of getting her back. when the card are down though, the real you will come back. and thats nothing to be ashamed of! some girls love a guy with a bit of an attitude! you just need to move on and find her! i hope i helped!

GoonBoss
04-13-2009, 04:31 PM
In all seriousness, I think we give some good advice in this forum in general. What's been said seems to be accurate. The problem is with you. I think the girl just gave up on trying to change you and moved on. She's obviously moved on and, you should too. Take a long look in the mirror, and, work on your issues so they don't doom your next relationship.

Fin_Frenzy_84
04-13-2009, 04:37 PM
honestly i know u love her but quit being sprung over her

X-Pacolypse
04-13-2009, 05:48 PM
I know you love her, but it's best that you start over. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better for doing so.

Flip Tanneflop
04-13-2009, 06:47 PM
WVDolphan gave great advice! i hate to tell you this, but if its been that long and she has barely spoken to you, i don't think getting back together is in the cards. :( unless there is something you aren't mentioning, i think the best you could hope for is some meaningless sex if she gets lonely one night.

the thing about girls, at least mature ones, and i don't know how old you and your ex are, is that once we've made up our mind on moving on from an ex, theres not much you can do about it. guys tend to dwell on exes a bit more because of the sex aspect. girls are emotional creatures, and once that emotion connection is gone, its not coming back. girls who go back to their exes are the ones who still have the emotions there. it sounds to me like she has moved on.

as for saying you've changed, i think WVDolphan said it all. first, you haven't changed. you're pining over an ex so you may have convinced yourself that you changed in hopes of getting her back. when the card are down though, the real you will come back. and thats nothing to be ashamed of! some girls love a guy with a bit of an attitude! you just need to move on and find her! i hope i helped!

Said even better. Girls will also notice when you are fixated on an ex even if you think you are hiding it well. This will make you seem unavailable to them and keep you from finding someone new.

Again, I know it isnt easy, especially if you love the girl, but the sooner you forget about fixing things with her, the sooner you can find someone new if youre interested in a relationship with a girl.

GoonBoss
04-13-2009, 06:54 PM
Said even better. Girls will also notice when you are fixated on an ex even if you think you are hiding it well. This will make you seem unavailable to them and keep you from finding someone new.

Again, I know it isnt easy, especially if you love the girl, but the sooner you forget about fixing things with her, the sooner you can find someone new if youre interested in a relationship with a girl.

All the **** you don't think your girl doesn't know? She knows.

GoonBoss
04-13-2009, 06:56 PM
i think the best you could hope for is some meaningless sex if she gets lonely one night.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. :)

Locke
04-13-2009, 07:03 PM
All the **** you don't think your girl doesn't know? She knows.

Oh man, tell me about it. Every secret I thought I had quickly turned out to be common knowledge to Nina. I don't even bother hiding anything from her anymore....

GoonBoss
04-13-2009, 07:08 PM
Oh man, tell me about it. Every secret I thought I had quickly turned out to be common knowledge to Nina. I don't even bother hiding anything from her anymore....

It's best to just tell them everything about everything. I would put a laughy face or something but it's true. Mrs Goon is a mother, my best freind, and, my wife. I couldn't keep a secret from her if I tried....And let me tell you...I've tried. Guys simply are not slick enough. The worst part is we THINK we are....But we're not.

tylerdolphin
04-13-2009, 07:09 PM
Once a girl dumps you, its over 95% of the time. Even if she comes back its just going to be until she finds an upgrade over you. Just move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Norcal Skunk
04-13-2009, 07:10 PM
Not that there is anything wrong with that. :)


Only if it was good enough. lol. Looking at his age alone, I doubt sex would have be sufficient enough to keep her around...

GoonBoss
04-13-2009, 07:26 PM
Only if it was good enough. lol. Looking at his age alone, I doubt sex would have be sufficient enough to keep her around...

I just meant that meaningless sex isn't a bad thing :)

#1 Fan
04-13-2009, 09:50 PM
i'm guessing you wanted advice on how to get her back (not on how to move on), so . . .


i would work on communicating with her on a comfortable / friend level. not a conversation about getting back together, but a joke email or something. talk to her like once a week or so, nothing big, and your friendship might evolve from there.

you can't go from cold to dating after five months off. also, keep in mind that she left because of the "stress" of the relationship. being friends at first allows things to move freely and she can start feeling comfortable around you.

at least this has worked for me (also, not worked too, but some girls you just cant recover).

Cassiopeia
04-14-2009, 12:55 AM
i'm guessing you wanted advice on how to get her back (not on how to move on), so . . .


i would work on communicating with her on a comfortable / friend level. not a conversation about getting back together, but a joke email or something. talk to her like once a week or so, nothing big, and your friendship might evolve from there.

you can't go from cold to dating after five months off. also, keep in mind that she left because of the "stress" of the relationship. being friends at first allows things to move freely and she can start feeling comfortable around you.

at least this has worked for me (also, not worked too, but some girls you just cant recover).

well i don't think there is much chance of it happening, but here is what i would do to try to reignite things.

1. don't annoy her! what i mean is calling her excessively, texting her all day, stuff like that. be conversational when you do talk, but not pushy. give her enough attention that she knows she is important to you though. i know its tough to find the balance between attentive and annoying, but its really important!

2. never talk about the bad in the relationship unless she brings it up! then you better have good things to say. don't say you've changed or anything, because she won't believe you. if it gets to the point where she is discussing it with you, tell her that you understand you have an attitude sometimes, but you'll work on it for her because she is important to you. do not say you've changed, thats important! people don't change, they just hide who they are. she will see right through that!

3. if it comes up, drop subtle hints about all the fun you guys had when dating! when wondering if she should get back with a guy or not, its really easy to remember the recent bad that caused the break up. make it a point to make sure she remembers the good times!

4. don't be neurotic, needy, or pushy! i can't stress that enough! being emotional will not make her see it your way! stuff like that can't help you, all it can do is hurt you! be the strong, confident, funny guy she fell in love with initially!

i hope that helps! i really hope it works out for you! but don't be too down if it doesn't. just make sure you learn from your mistakes for the next girl!

tylerdolphin
04-14-2009, 01:12 AM
4. don't be neurotic, needy, or pushy! i can't stress that enough! being emotional will not make her see it your way! stuff like that can't help you, all it can do is hurt you! be the strong, confident, funny guy she fell in love with initially!
Thats the problem though. You can't really try to get an ex back and not appear needy. It may not be that way in your mind, but its going to come off that way to the girl nearly every time. Thats why your better off forgetting it unless she calls you.

Norcal Skunk
04-14-2009, 02:04 AM
3 words to getting your ex back....

G H B.:up::up:

dolfan305
04-14-2009, 05:21 AM
thanks too everyone for helping me out. im on the mobile version of this website so I can't thank everyone right now but as soon as I get too my labtop im thanking all of you. im thinking im just going to move on. and yes I have ****ed a **** load of females already but I still think about my ex still. so what im going to do is just move on. it will be hard but I think its the best thing after reading all your guys post.
NOW LETS CUT THE BULL**** AND MOVE ON TOO THE ****ING DRAFT!!!!!!!!!
GO DOLPHINS!!!!!!!!!

Amars
04-14-2009, 12:44 PM
go out with another woman or make it seem like you are and then she'll come back. Woman are weird like that. Once she knows you moving on she realize that she wants you back and you will work it out. Been there man trust me. Look at a past thread i had kinda of the same situation.