View Full Version : Draft Decaf

05-01-2009, 04:23 PM
Here’s a quick summary of some of our draft (more in depth anal electrolysis is requested):

The balls:

Davis is great. Likes a blanket. Warm weather player. Likes girls. Sticky hands with sharp nails. Punctures football on contact. He's great at chess. Smart for a dumb guy. Runs with two feet. Likes cheeseburgers. No fries. Will eat sashimi if cooked. Not fast in the water. Could be a great land Dolphin. Studies Darwin’s theory of football.

Pat White rules. Way cool fast slippery with an arm and two legs. Will add ballistic missile to attack. Likes dogs. Runs like a scared deer. Good eyes. Can read a play book. Patterns game after Mickey Mouse. Once threw a football through a window. So fast he shatters glass. Sonic boom with parachute landing. Burns Astroturf in the oven.

John Nalbone. A dude’s dude. Likes frog legs. Eats them raw. Once caught a football with his ear. Large ears with fingers. Like Fries. No cheeseburgers. 6-5 250. Sits lower. Runs like an Italian on fire. Father was a fireman. Good family. Bad relatives. Extorted the neighbors cat for supposed dog food debt. Italian shoes. Likes thick girls.

Brian Hartline. Head banger with mother Teresa genes. Will pray after catch. Carries a beanie at all times. Fast for a Mormon. Arbitrage specialist. Inverts picks into receptions. Larger than average big toes. Sturdy dancer. Doesn’t bath before games. Dirty player. Will cause blood from opposition. Special teams maven with brass knuckles and steel balls.

05-02-2009, 08:36 AM
Wtf I don't know what this is but it made me laugh. Hahahaha

05-02-2009, 09:19 AM

05-02-2009, 11:43 AM
DeCaf? Bro, that's like a few espressos....hahaha

05-02-2009, 12:32 PM
More Decaf…

Sean Smith. Certified Legend with pocket protector. Good at math. Cover 2 + 4 equals 7 in the Wheaties box. Likes a big mirror. Covers his own shadow. Runs like a very fast white guy. Dangerous in the shower. Water hog. Could tame wild cat. Unstoppable at idle.

Patrick Turner: Two syllables in both names. 4.2 speed in the dictionary. Reads defenses with coffee. Exceptionally small pinkies. Well groomed nails. Likes midget girls. Twirls football on field. Ego proportionate to frame. 6-5 with hop in hitch. Big grinner. Bad Slavic accent.

Chris Clemons: Needs a new stylist. Could be better looking at SS. Runs fast when wet. Sweats like a porpoise. Converts into a Dolphin with back pedal. Portable close hanger. Decapitates crossing patterns. Once read Batman cover to cover. Vintage collection of mopeds. Amateur psychic.

Andrew Gardner. Believes in fairies and godmother. Has a pet duck. Plays football with large hamsters. Big muscles in mind. 7ft in stilettos. Big ankles with tapered feet. Moves well in a dress. Hairy legs with dimples. Tortures reptiles. Snake charmer personality. Plays dirty in laundry. Bench presses 500 cats (excluding Siamese).


05-02-2009, 01:54 PM

I gotta ask ... Are you on acid right now?

05-02-2009, 03:10 PM
Serously, WHO could whip a draft like this???

Soup or bowl here we come!


05-02-2009, 04:23 PM
Some of the funniest sh*t ive ever read.

05-02-2009, 11:09 PM
uh yeah how is your acid trip going

05-02-2009, 11:19 PM
uh yeah how is your acid trip going

original thought = you're in ICU with tubes...


05-02-2009, 11:24 PM
original thought = you're in ICU with tubes...


must be real good cause you still make no sense :crazy::crazy::crazy:

05-03-2009, 12:11 AM
please share some with the rest of us