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Muck
10-18-2003, 06:14 PM
Why do Men Die First?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries but, now we know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry.....you're a wimp. If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy.......that's domination. If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert. If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist. If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain. If you don't................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something. If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........you're full of yourself. If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired. If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed. If you don't................there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.

Flipper2334
10-18-2003, 10:33 PM
LOL that was pretty damn good.

Miamian
10-19-2003, 05:27 PM
I'm taking that to the office tomorrow.

dolfan06
10-19-2003, 09:23 PM
Originally posted by Flipper2334
LOL that was pretty damn good. also, very true!:rolleyes:

Miamian
10-21-2003, 09:27 PM
I posted it in our office lounge. It only lasted a day before someone assumed the role of censor.

Miamian
10-21-2003, 09:29 PM
By the way Muck, you used to post several links a day to hilarious s**t; but we haven't seen much lately.

I hope you post something soon. I've become addicted to your humor.

Starting to go through withdrawl....Help Muck, please...help!

Muck
10-21-2003, 11:09 PM
I still see stuff all the time. I just got lazy about making threads. I'll try and make a better effort. :)

Miamian
10-21-2003, 11:15 PM
I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I may have to join Rush at the Betty Ford Clinic.

dolfan06
10-22-2003, 02:52 AM
Originally posted by Miamian
I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I may have to join Rush at the Betty Ford Clinic. try this one.............

blondes are protesting, trying to get the headlight dimmer switch back on the floor where it used to be.........................they keep getting their legs tangled in the steering wheel!;)

Miamian
10-22-2003, 07:25 AM
:lol:

Muck
10-22-2003, 10:19 PM
Well, here's the first (http://www.finheaven.com/boardvb2/showthread.php?s=&postid=319064#post319064) of my brilliant comeback. I'm easing you back in slowly. Pretty soon you'll be all "yes...yes...yes...NO.NO!!!" :lol:

Miamian
10-22-2003, 10:54 PM
Saw that. More, more, I need more (pant, pant).

BTW, I'm going to send you a PM on a completely unrelated matter.

Back to the thread. More, please, please, more.

dolfan06
10-23-2003, 10:29 AM
Originally posted by Miamian
Saw that. More, more, I need more (pant, pant).

BTW, I'm going to send you a PM on a completely unrelated matter.

Back to the thread. More, please, please, more. ok, how do you keep a blond busy?


give her a bag of m&m's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order!

Chubby
10-23-2003, 12:00 PM
Cheers to that Very well Said MUCK

Miamian
10-23-2003, 08:16 PM
06 or Muck?