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dreday
05-15-2009, 06:14 PM
http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostiution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

tylerdolphin
05-15-2009, 06:25 PM
It seemed like a good idea at the time

1 dol fan
05-15-2009, 08:08 PM
It seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess when you are a professional prostitute and your cover business is selling sex toys, life gets a little boring and "Steely Dan" doesn't work quite as well.

BAMAPHIN 22
05-15-2009, 08:13 PM
On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

:oops:

I think this is the most bizzare thing that I have read this year....:confused:

ih8brady
05-15-2009, 08:47 PM
That's the most flesh-like phallic available in Oklahoma?

MoFinz
05-15-2009, 09:04 PM
That's the most flesh-like phallic available in Oklahoma?

You mean next to Brian Bosworth:foundout:

dreday
05-15-2009, 09:48 PM
:oops:

I think this is the most bizzare thing that I have read this year....:confused:

Guess it was worth it...

Vaark
05-15-2009, 11:14 PM
That's a tough act to follow!

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2009/05/vibrator-1.jpg

Bumpus
05-15-2009, 11:16 PM
LMFAO!!!!

I spit beer out of my nose when I read the title.

KDog13
05-15-2009, 11:28 PM
oo your probably right WTF a Jackhammer what a ****. Honestly yea this is ****ed up but she deserved this. Jackhammer you idiot. your 49 not a strong person unless some ur mrs olympia and thought a jackhammer was a good idea to please yourself.

Well that Jackhammer got some ***** and tore that **** up lol. sorry for all the curses. I wish Goldberg gave her the Jackhammer. After all thats what she wanted.

R.I.P Mrs.Dent (You sent an example not to use a Jackhammer to please yourself) Hopefully now they can have assemblies in schools for this. The world needs to know.

1 dol fan
05-16-2009, 04:33 PM
oo your probably right WTF a Jackhammer what a ****. Honestly yea this is ****ed up but she deserved this. Jackhammer you idiot. your 49 not a strong person unless some ur mrs olympia and thought a jackhammer was a good idea to please yourself.

Well that Jackhammer got some ***** and tore that **** up lol. sorry for all the curses. I wish Goldberg gave her the Jackhammer. After all thats what she wanted.

R.I.P Mrs.Dent (You sent an example not to use a Jackhammer to please yourself) Hopefully now they can have assemblies in schools for this. The world needs to know.
It could be the new "cool" thing to do for teens. Almost like that choking game and sexting (which I haven't received a reply yet, FKA). We need a PSA!

Ricky4Life
05-16-2009, 06:08 PM
Wow. What some people are thinking.

X-Pacolypse
05-16-2009, 07:54 PM
This has to be the most bizzare thing I have ever read. How in the hell could she lead herself to believe that pleasuring herself with a jackhammer would be a great idea?

SpurzN703
05-16-2009, 11:55 PM
What the hell end of the jackhammer was in her hole?

Ricky4Life
05-17-2009, 02:22 AM
I was thinking, why would you think it normal just to not call the cops when you have a 49 year old naked lady trying to stradle a Jackhammer in the drive way and you wait to call as you hear blood curdiling screaming from her house. I wonder what kind of other things happen in that neighborhood for you just to walk in your house and ignore it.

CalDolFan1014
05-17-2009, 03:05 AM
Maybe she was trying to get rid of those pesty crabs??? :ponder:

CedarPhin
05-17-2009, 03:11 AM
Sounds like the girl that impaled herself on the broomstick.

GoonBoss
05-17-2009, 03:47 AM
Is the jackhammer ok?

GoonBoss
05-17-2009, 04:29 AM
“after severe internal distress"

:lol:

No ****, right?

fishfanfromjerz
05-19-2009, 01:30 PM
her tombstone should read:


Here Lies Shirley Dent,
She Died Treating Her Vagina Like Pavement.

Dolfan3773
05-19-2009, 04:12 PM
wow...

eger
05-19-2009, 04:15 PM
Mrs. Dent? That sounds like a proper name for this chick, or was.