View Full Version : An Enourmous Breakthrough!!

11-01-2003, 10:10 AM
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium."

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 36 deputy neutrons, and 50 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 99. These 99 particles are held together by forces called morons. These forces, in turn, are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 weeks to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

You will know it when you see it.

11-01-2003, 01:26 PM
As governor of the great state of Nevada, I take personal offense to this thread.

Now I have to get back to screwing the people. Thank you for your time.

11-01-2003, 07:33 PM
Ack! You just described my existence. I'm one of the peons. Don't forget that you may morph into one soon yourself.:tongue: