View Full Version : is MIAMI a horrible place to live for new married people?

03-15-2010, 12:22 AM
Shaq blames Miami for his Divorce

Shaquille O'Neal may have ridden into the 305 like Jesus on Palm Sunday and delivered us an NBA Championship, but by the time he whined his way out in a trade to Phoenix most of Miami was awfully glad to see him go.

According to comments his soon-to-be ex-wife Shaunie gave Essence, that's because we were awfully tired. You know, from being so much sluttier than everywhere else NBA players cheat on their wives.

Miami is a great city. It just wasn't a great city for our marriage. I know they say L.A. has its groupies, but Miami has a different mentality. Even going to the games, the whole environment is so different. Girls are practically sitting in their bra and panties in the arena. When you're trying to keep your husband, that's a lot to take. It was a whole new lifestyle I wasn't ready for.

Apparently we didn't have a strong enough foundation for Shaq to withstand that type of temptation.

Oh no you didn't! Girl, don't hate us because we're beautiful! Bodies like ours gotta see some daylight. Anyway, it's not like it was the Miami City Commission that put a lady up at the Flamingo (at least not for Shaq, anyway). From what we hear, Shaunie, your call was coming from inside the house.

At any rate, the future ex-Mrs. O'Neal went on to say that she confronted Shaq about cheating with the bare contents of American Airlines Arena, and pretty much confirmed that he's as big a jerk as we always thought.

He would deny it sometimes, and other times he would ask, ‘You got pictures? Video? If not, don’t come at me because you have no proof.’

He’d say, ‘Okay, you’re mad. Now what? You’re not going anywhere.'

Lovely. Shaunie says the two are now friends, and that she never cheated on Shaq as was rumored, and that she stayed for the sake of the kids she's not above posing with in an article that details how daddy slept around. It's all one great big story of pain and redemption and not at all about her reality show "NBA Wives" that premiers Monday night on VH1. No, sir.

As for you, Miami, you homewrecker, we know what you're thinking. Shaq was MIA history two years ago. Do we really have to defend ourselves, and the bra and panties in which we read this because we never put on clothes?

Yes. Taking this sort of thing lying down is what got us into this mess in the first place.


thats insane

03-15-2010, 12:31 AM
Shaq is as dumb as he is fat.

**** that clown.

Noodle Arm
03-15-2010, 01:13 AM
Girls are practically sitting in their bra and panties in the arena.

If this were true, there'd be less empty seats during home games.

03-15-2010, 01:20 AM
If this were true, there'd be less empty seats during home games.


03-15-2010, 04:39 PM
Well, Shaq screwed the Miami fans. I just always thought it was figuratively.

03-15-2010, 05:51 PM
That lazy goldbricking load, formerly known (to himself) as "Superman," should be arrested for all the money he's stolen from Mickey Arison, championship or not..

03-15-2010, 09:10 PM
Maybe if Shaq wasn't courting other women in clubs on South Beach, he'd still be married.