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Hot4Peyton
09-27-2010, 01:49 PM
Every since I first saw Payton take the field for the Tennessee vols, I knew I would only be happy if he were to make love to me. He could explore my flesh folds however he saw fit, and maybe Eli and they Daddy, Archie could help too.

I have an extensive collection of VHS tapes of all of Paytuns games from College and the pros. Every other wednesday on bath night, I pull the TV and VCR into the bathroom, and I watch Paytin in his tight pants while I warsh myself and my unmentionables. Sometimes I fall into steamy fantasy while I'm soakin in the tub . . .

I dream of The Manning family visiting me in my trailer, and I proudly show them all the toenail clippings I've saved over the years, and my kitty litter statuettes. They all love my collections, and my art. Then I make a big meal of bacon fried mac and cheese for my handsome guests. then we take the leftover bacon grease and they rub it all over my naked quivering figure. Archie instructs his sons to make sure and get plenty of grease in between my flesh folds for maximum criscofication. They both say, "yes daddy." Then all three proceed to degrease my supple frame with they audibleizing tongue muscles.

After that, all three handsome Mannings lay on my bed so I can smother them with my fleshly love. After I sufficiently crush all three of they skulls in the throes of my pelvic passions, I'll drag them to the living room and prop them up on the couch and have some little debbies and whole milk (it expired last week, but it's still good). I'll give them hair dos and put some of Mama's (RIP) eye makeup on them an make em look even more handsomer. We all four will live in my trailer forever, and the county wont come over no more with nasty letters bout too much trash in my yard. That's not trash, dum dums! It don't bother nobody none! Git off my proprty! I'll shoot chu in the dicks!

6872

Koz
09-27-2010, 02:02 PM
Every since I first saw Payton take the field for the Tennessee vols, I knew I would only be happy if he were to make love to me. He could explore my flesh folds however he saw fit, and maybe Eli and they Daddy, Archie could help too.

I have an extensive collection of VHS tapes of all of Paytuns games from College and the pros. Every other wednesday on bath night, I pull the TV and VCR into the bathroom, and I watch Paytin in his tight pants while I warsh myself and my unmentionables. Sometimes I fall into steamy fantasy while I'm soakin in the tub . . .

I dream of The Manning family visiting me in my trailer, and I proudly show them all the toenail clippings I've saved over the years, and my kitty litter statuettes. They all love my collections, and my art. Then I make a big meal of bacon fried mac and cheese for my handsome guests. then we take the leftover bacon grease and they rub it all over my naked quivering figure. Archie instructs his sons to make sure and get plenty of grease in between my flesh folds for maximum criscofication. They both say, "yes daddy." Then all three proceed to degrease my supple frame with they audibleizing tongue muscles.

After that, all three handsome Mannings lay on my bed so I can smother them with my fleshly love. After I sufficiently crush all three of they skulls in the throes of my pelvic passions, I'll drag them to the living room and prop them up on the couch and have some little debbies and whole milk (it expired last week, but it's still good). I'll give them hair dos and put some of Mama's (RIP) eye makeup on them an make em look even more handsomer. We all four will live in my trailer forever, and the county wont come over no more with nasty letters bout too much trash in my yard. That's not trash, dum dums! It don't bother nobody none! Git off my proprty! I'll shoot chu in the dicks!

6872

Show us your t i t s.

WISfinfan13
09-27-2010, 02:04 PM
I can not believe what I just read! OMG

Hot4Peyton
09-27-2010, 02:15 PM
come over on bath night

Koz
09-27-2010, 02:18 PM
come over on bath night

Is it similar to what I see at the zoo in the elephant exhibit, ala deck brush, car wash detergent and a high pressure hose?

---------- Post added at 02:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:18 PM ----------

By the way, I keep on thanking myself but nothing happens- why is this?

Hot4Peyton
09-27-2010, 02:25 PM
Is it similar to what I see at the zoo in the elephant exhibit, ala deck brush, car wash detergent and a high pressure hose?

---------- Post added at 02:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:18 PM ----------

By the way, I keep on thanking myself but nothing happens- why is this?

I'll letcha use some steel wool to help me scrub out the organic accumulates from in between my flesh folds. When mama was living, she helped me bathe, and she likened the stuff to a more viscous type of toe jam. I don't know what viscous means, but the stuff got real pungent. My mama was so smart she got almost finished her GED.

Koz
09-27-2010, 02:26 PM
Chin up, life will get better!

WISfinfan13
09-27-2010, 02:33 PM
I'll letcha use some steel wool to help me scrub out the organic accumulates from in between my flesh folds. When mama was living, she helped me bathe, and she likened the stuff to a more viscous type of toe jam. I don't know what viscous means, but the stuff got real pungent. My mama was so smart she got almost finished her GED.


You dont know what "viscous" means, but u can use pungent in a perfect sentence. I am beginning to think you made up this story about the Manning's.

Hot4Peyton
09-27-2010, 02:44 PM
You dont know what "viscous" means, but u can use pungent in a perfect sentence. I am beginning to think you made up this story about the Manning's.

I aint got no dictionary books. i do have a few old copies of Ebony magazine though. I had a big crush on Arsenio Hall when I was going through my rebellious phase. daddy didn't care for that man one bit, fact is, daddy didn't care much about anything, well cept huffin the freon. Doctor gave him a subscription on account of his back pains. yes, i know he loved his Hydrochlorofluorocarbons more than his own daughter, and it makes me sad he's not more like Archie Manning. one day he just said "bye bye, humongous", and walked right into oncoming traffic. we couldn't afford no funeral, so we buried him out back near the compost heap.

WISfinfan13
09-27-2010, 03:13 PM
Hydrochlorofluorocarbons. Big word for someone who has yet to get ITS GED.

Hot4Peyton
09-27-2010, 03:29 PM
Hydrochlorofluorocarbons. Big word for someone who has yet to get ITS GED.

When Mama was living, she tried to homeschool me but I proved to be too unruly a student. I didn't even learn how to talk right till I was a teenager. I mostly communicated through angry or happy grunts and growls. my behavior was especially feral, and I had a hobby of eating my own feces. But once I discovered little debbie's, I don't do that no more. well, maybe once in awhile.

Mama called in a specialist to try and help me, but he ran off when I tried to seduce him.

Frankie324
09-27-2010, 03:36 PM
Wtf?!$#@!

Bumpus
09-27-2010, 05:04 PM
:lol: Methinks we've found a candidate for "Rookie of the year" :lol:

1 dol fan
09-27-2010, 05:26 PM
:lol: Methinks we've found a candidate for "Rookie of the year" :lol:
Methinks we found the reincarnation of RDS.

CedarPhin
09-27-2010, 05:34 PM
This is just another example of government waste at work. The OP will know what I mean.

Hot4Peyton
09-28-2010, 08:40 AM
This is just another example of government waste at work. The OP will know what I mean.

To make enough money to pay for my air conditioning bills, I let the govmint run they tests on me. My trailer park is underneath some big power lines, they always hummin real loud like electronic angels and what not. also my trailer lot is right near a swamp, and a nice man from the factory pay me to let him sink some big metal drums in the muck. sometimes the swamp vapors is real pungent, and I has to use some extra glade plug ins.

WISfinfan13
09-28-2010, 08:42 AM
To make enough money to pay for my air conditioning bills, I let the govmint run they tests on me. My trailer park is underneath some big power lines, they always hummin real loud like electronic angels and what not. also my trailer lot is right near a swamp, and a nice man from the factory pay me to let him sink some big metal drums in the muck. sometimes the swamp vapors is real pungent, and I has to use some extra glade plug ins.

Pungent again?

Art Flato
09-28-2010, 08:52 AM
Has anyone caught on that maybe the OP isn't who he/she says he/she is? I mean, what better way for a hot chick to visit the site, IN COG NEATO, than by posing as a fat, disgusting monster whom none of us would have any interest in? Am I right?

Hot4Peyton
09-28-2010, 08:57 AM
Pungent again?

There's always some smell or another hovering around these parts. I got a glade plugin in every available outlet in my trailer. I ran out of the perfumed oils what comes with the box, so I started makin my own. I use some leftover grease from my fry-daddy, mixed with some a Mama's (RIP) knock-off Zsa Zsa Gabor perfume she used to get at the gas station. It fills my trailer with a pungent combination of odors like a movie star eating some onion rings. it never quite covers up the smells from the litter-boxes, but it comes close.

Hot4Peyton
09-28-2010, 10:27 AM
Has anyone caught on that maybe the OP isn't who he/she says he/she is? I mean, what better way for a hot chick to visit the site, IN COG NEATO, than by posing as a fat, disgusting monster whom none of us would have any interest in? Am I right?

Hi. Are you a artist? I am. I like to sculpt miniature statuettes of The Mannings in various erotic poses. I work with used kitty litter, on account of it's pliability and availability (a lot if it just lying around). Once I form the sculpture, I bake it in the oven to harden. the process causes a real pungent odor that's so foul it makes my eyes water, and my neighbors complain a lot. But that's the price of great art, right Art?

X-Pacolypse
09-28-2010, 12:41 PM
Every since I first saw Payton take the field for the Tennessee vols, I knew I would only be happy if he were to make love to me. He could explore my flesh folds however he saw fit, and maybe Eli and they Daddy, Archie could help too.

I have an extensive collection of VHS tapes of all of Paytuns games from College and the pros. Every other wednesday on bath night, I pull the TV and VCR into the bathroom, and I watch Paytin in his tight pants while I warsh myself and my unmentionables. Sometimes I fall into steamy fantasy while I'm soakin in the tub . . .

I dream of The Manning family visiting me in my trailer, and I proudly show them all the toenail clippings I've saved over the years, and my kitty litter statuettes. They all love my collections, and my art. Then I make a big meal of bacon fried mac and cheese for my handsome guests. then we take the leftover bacon grease and they rub it all over my naked quivering figure. Archie instructs his sons to make sure and get plenty of grease in between my flesh folds for maximum criscofication. They both say, "yes daddy." Then all three proceed to degrease my supple frame with they audibleizing tongue muscles.

After that, all three handsome Mannings lay on my bed so I can smother them with my fleshly love. After I sufficiently crush all three of they skulls in the throes of my pelvic passions, I'll drag them to the living room and prop them up on the couch and have some little debbies and whole milk (it expired last week, but it's still good). I'll give them hair dos and put some of Mama's (RIP) eye makeup on them an make em look even more handsomer. We all four will live in my trailer forever, and the county wont come over no more with nasty letters bout too much trash in my yard. That's not trash, dum dums! It don't bother nobody none! Git off my proprty! I'll shoot chu in the dicks!

6872

No offense, but you look like Sloth from the Goonies.

WISfinfan13
09-28-2010, 12:53 PM
I like how the distance for ITS nose to the bottom of ITS chin, is longer than the distance for ITS nose to the top of ITS head. Very attractive.

Hot4Peyton
09-28-2010, 12:55 PM
No offense, but you look like Sloth from the Goonies.

My daddy, god rest his soul, he used to like wartchin lotsa old movies. He really liked lotsa Mel Gibson's work, i think that's why he named me Humongous. Daddy often remarked on how he wished he was dead. i think wartchin them movies was one of his few comforts in life. he also liked drinkin the mr. clean.

Hot4Peyton
09-28-2010, 01:04 PM
I like how the distance for ITS nose to the bottom of ITS chin, is longer than the distance for ITS nose to the top of ITS head. Very attractive.

when i was takin some art classes down at the community center's adult learnin annex, teacher talked alot about Leonardo di Caprio's "Golden Ratio". we was takin turns applyin the ratio to our own faces, and teacher says that I broke the mold. I guess she meant i had too much beauty for one face to contain. anyways, i was told not to come back to class on account of my colts sweatshirt bein all covered in cat leavings. i tried to essplain that was part of my artwork, but nobody listened.

WISfinfan13
09-28-2010, 04:02 PM
Hey I couldnt help but notice the resemblance between Peyton's wife Ashley and your third chin. Are they related?

6876

WISfinfan13
09-28-2010, 04:07 PM
Also it seems your left eye may be a bit lazy. So now Im wondering if you look alittle more like Eli's trophy.

http://a11news.com/226/abby-mcgrew/

rob19
09-28-2010, 04:50 PM
did ya seen paytins film advertisements on the picture box?
http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

tylerdolphin
09-28-2010, 05:34 PM
Every since I first saw Payton take the field for the Tennessee vols, I knew I would only be happy if he were to make love to me. He could explore my flesh folds however he saw fit, and maybe Eli and they Daddy, Archie could help too.

I have an extensive collection of VHS tapes of all of Paytuns games from College and the pros. Every other wednesday on bath night, I pull the TV and VCR into the bathroom, and I watch Paytin in his tight pants while I warsh myself and my unmentionables. Sometimes I fall into steamy fantasy while I'm soakin in the tub . . .

I dream of The Manning family visiting me in my trailer, and I proudly show them all the toenail clippings I've saved over the years, and my kitty litter statuettes. They all love my collections, and my art. Then I make a big meal of bacon fried mac and cheese for my handsome guests. then we take the leftover bacon grease and they rub it all over my naked quivering figure. Archie instructs his sons to make sure and get plenty of grease in between my flesh folds for maximum criscofication. They both say, "yes daddy." Then all three proceed to degrease my supple frame with they audibleizing tongue muscles.

After that, all three handsome Mannings lay on my bed so I can smother them with my fleshly love. After I sufficiently crush all three of they skulls in the throes of my pelvic passions, I'll drag them to the living room and prop them up on the couch and have some little debbies and whole milk (it expired last week, but it's still good). I'll give them hair dos and put some of Mama's (RIP) eye makeup on them an make em look even more handsomer. We all four will live in my trailer forever, and the county wont come over no more with nasty letters bout too much trash in my yard. That's not trash, dum dums! It don't bother nobody none! Git off my proprty! I'll shoot chu in the dicks!

6872
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2010/09/34quy5c-1.jpg

1 dol fan
09-28-2010, 09:00 PM
So... is it me or does this chick kinda seem like Joe R... btw, where the hell did that coal mining fool go off to?

Bumpus
09-28-2010, 11:30 PM
when i was takin some art classes down at the community center's adult learnin annex, teacher talked alot about Leonardo di Caprio's "Golden Ratio". we was takin turns applyin the ratio to our own faces, and teacher says that I broke the mold. I guess she meant i had too much beauty for one face to contain. anyways, i was told not to come back to class on account of my colts sweatshirt bein all covered in cat leavings. i tried to essplain that was part of my artwork, but nobody listened.

It's always a shame when the very halls of academia reject works of art with such obvious cultural significance.

Ricky_Fan34
09-28-2010, 11:34 PM
Who the **** is this person and when the **** did they show up??

Bumpus
09-28-2010, 11:37 PM
Who the **** is this person and when the **** did they show up??

:lol: Not sure yet, but it sure is interesting.

CedarPhin
09-28-2010, 11:59 PM
They're from the EPA and they're here to help I guess.

Hot4Peyton
09-29-2010, 09:00 AM
Hey I couldnt help but notice the resemblance between Peyton's wife Ashley and your third chin. Are they related?

6876

I hate that dum dum bich. she stole my man.

Hot4Peyton
09-29-2010, 09:07 AM
It's always a shame when the very halls of academia reject works of art with such obvious cultural significance.

it was real depressin like. i bet nobody done complained about leonardo di caprio's acrid smell when he was all paintin his sculptures. they said my weezing was a distraction too. yeah i got respritory problems, so what? my trailer is made mostly from asbestos panels daddy collected from the biohazard area of the county dump. he said since there was so many flash fires from the swamp vapors on our property it was good to have. my daddy was smart and cared about my health and well bein. so what ican't breathe good? least i aint gonna catch on fire from it!

1 dol fan
09-29-2010, 11:08 AM
Who the **** is this person and when the **** did they show up??
Maybe it's Pat

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2010/09/imagesqtbnANd9GcS3EO94v1nRHxcnPSjneJAUe5-1.jpg

Hot4Peyton
09-30-2010, 09:53 AM
Ugh. I had a really rough time sleepin last night, my tummy was all twisted like. I ate 2 boxes of Little Debbies Swiss rolls for dinner, while I watched my progrims. What I like to do is dip the swiss rolls in mayonaise to give them a little extra flavor and texture. I had finished off the entire jar before realizing the mayonaise had expired over a year ago. I thought it looked a little bit yellow, but I was so hungry I didn't bother to obsess over little details like that. I still feel powerfully ill today. Ima call Dr. Tittleman to come for a house call. He was disbarred from medical practice years ago for doin lewd things ta his patients while they was anesthetized, but I still think he a good doctor. he gives me free medical treatment on account a me being a medical anomaly? he say that by all definitions of that which is humanly plausible I should be dead 10 time over. He's a sweet man. he writing a book about me too, called "Humongous: Why God? Why?" he say I can attend the book premier once they cut a hole in my trailer large enuff sos I can go outside.

WISfinfan13
09-30-2010, 10:37 AM
have you ever been to a colts game?

Hot4Peyton
09-30-2010, 10:51 AM
have you ever been to a colts game?

I warch tapes of them on the TV. I aint got no cable, but sometimes I can get reception from the rabbit ears, then I tape them with my VCR. We had a real big satelite dish in the yard once in the 80s. Daddy stoled it from the them rich folks in the fancy neighborhood in his pickup truck. He tried to hook it to the TV with some jumper cables, but it didn't werk. So we end up usin it as a kind of a big cistern to boil up raccoons and the like.

WISfinfan13
09-30-2010, 12:32 PM
I warch tapes of them on the TV. I aint got no cable, but sometimes I can get reception from the rabbit ears, then I tape them with my VCR. We had a real big satelite dish in the yard once in the 80s. Daddy stoled it from the them rich folks in the fancy neighborhood in his pickup truck. He tried to hook it to the TV with some jumper cables, but it didn't werk. So we end up usin it as a kind of a big cistern to boil up raccoons and the like.

Do you live in Indianapolis? I read an article the other. Lots of ppl are missing their satellite dishes.

Hot4Peyton
09-30-2010, 12:58 PM
Do you live in Indianapolis? I read an article the other. Lots of ppl are missing their satellite dishes.

Naw, I lives in Defeated, TN. not none of them big uppity city like indianapplezz. Yall should stop by the trailer sometime fer some littel debbies n milk. maybe bring a few boxs of that fancy wine, and ifn ya play ya cards right, you might could do some sixty-nining with some of my flesh folds. please bring a bushel or two of some fresh hay, i need ta restuff my mattress. one of them sick cats got in there, and had a litter of sick kittens. then they all up and died when i come to bed one night. i reckon i crushed the little buggers. they musta been dead in there a long while too. i finally decided to check it out when the lumps in the mattress was givin me bedsores somethin fierce.

CedarPhin
09-30-2010, 01:21 PM
What's it like working at the EPA?

Hot4Peyton
09-30-2010, 02:24 PM
What's it like working at the EPA?

one of them smarty pants scifientists wearin they fancy hazmat suits wanna come on my land and take water samples from the bog. I says it'll cost em admission fee. but they dont listen none. they try an fine me for illegal dumping and water contamination, sos i contaminated them with some buckshot from daddys (RIP) ol double barrel. then i take they fancy computer book here sos i can check my compuserve, and look at pictures of payton manning. then i sink them in the bog. they can take they samples from heaven if they so choose.

1 dol fan
09-30-2010, 02:56 PM
one of them smarty pants scifientists wearin they fancy hazmat suits wanna come on my land and take water samples from the bog. I says it'll cost em admission fee. but they dont listen none. they try an fine me for illegal dumping and water contamination, sos i contaminated them with some buckshot from daddys (RIP) ol double barrel. then i take they fancy computer book here sos i can check my compuserve, and look at pictures of payton manning. then i sink them in the bog. they can take they samples from heaven if they so choose.
That's kinda incriminating... don't you think you should get going before the po comes knocking at your door... not like they could remove you from the trailer but... they can put you on house arrest.

Hot4Peyton
09-30-2010, 03:14 PM
That's kinda incriminating... don't you think you should get going before the po comes knocking at your door... not like they could remove you from the trailer but... they can put you on house arrest.

My daddy he was on the house arrest one time. He and a few of his huntin buddys was huffin freon and doin shots of Lysol, and they decide to drive into town to search for some **** tang. well, i aint never heard of that flavor of tang, and we had plenty of the orange type, but they goes out anyways. well, dey went into a mexican restaurant and started peeing on all the seats, and yeallin about how "all dem puerto ricans wanna come to our country and steal all our daughters". well, sheriff was called, and he had to taze my daddy right in the dick. the judge say he had to wear one of them ankle bracelets and stay in the trailer all the time. it was nice spending time with daddy, even when he was grumpy and drinking his mr. clean.

X-Pacolypse
09-30-2010, 03:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWQ6MRHpCGk



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJU8xIsoTTk&feature=related



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NioEtkprd2Y

1 dol fan
09-30-2010, 11:22 PM
I'm starting to like you, Payton. Maybe we could do the folds of fat thing if you keep making me laugh... but only if you continue!

Possum
09-30-2010, 11:37 PM
wow.

Hot4Peyton
10-01-2010, 09:22 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWQ6MRHpCGk



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJU8xIsoTTk&feature=related



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NioEtkprd2Y

Thats some real nice banjo fiddlin. My daddy once had an electric guit-fiddle and a big ol box what made it real loud. he got them at the pawn shop with gramma's weddin ring. Daddy had to dig up grammas grave to get that ring, on account she insisted on bein buried with it. daddy promised he'd buy the ring back once his songs was on the m-tv. he said he was gonna play some rock and roll songs like Leonard Skinner, who ever he is. trouble is, when his band come over to practice, they'd just huff Raid, and drink Pine Sol. they aint never even played no shows. Daddy got into a big fight with the drummer one day and stabbed him in the eye with a back scratcher, and the band broke up. daddy started usin the electric guit-fiddle to catch catfish. He would plug it in to the electrical socket, then throw it in the bog. Dem catfish would just float to the surface all dead like. that guit-fiddle sure helped us eat nice that week, but daddy aint never got grammas ring back.

WISfinfan13
10-01-2010, 10:03 AM
What did you do lastnight Payton?

Hot4Peyton
10-01-2010, 10:17 AM
What did you do lastnight Payton?

Well, thanks for askin. I mostly do the same kinda stuff night in and night out. Wartch my progrims, eat my sweets, and play with my cats. Last night I had some little debbies fudge rounds, while i wartched the tv. the reception on the tv wasn't at all real good last night, but that was okay cause i was havin a delicious meal. I like to take apart the fudge rounds, and add a few dollops of spicey brown mustard and a bit of the soy sauce. it creates a nice flavor. when I went to sleep i was havin some powerful vivid dreams about Archie Manning. it was more of a nightmare really. he had disowned his sons, Paytin and eli, and they was all homeless and sad walkin around lookin for a new home. but then it got happy when they come to my trailer! we three start slathering our nude bodies with honey mustard and chives, and then them two start sixty nining my flesh folds real passionate like. then I get pregnant and have a baby, and the baby is Archie Manning! Paytin and Eli see that the baby is Archie, and together they say all ominous like, "the cycle is complete, the prophecy has been fulfilled". I woke up feelin all discombobulated. whatchu suppose that dream meant??

WISfinfan13
10-01-2010, 10:47 AM
Well, thanks for askin. I mostly do the same kinda stuff night in and night out. Wartch my progrims, eat my sweets, and play with my cats. Last night I had some little debbies fudge rounds, while i wartched the tv. the reception on the tv wasn't at all real good last night, but that was okay cause i was havin a delicious meal. I like to take apart the fudge rounds, and add a few dollops of spicey brown mustard and a bit of the soy sauce. it creates a nice flavor. when I went to sleep i was havin some powerful vivid dreams about Archie Manning. it was more of a nightmare really. he had disowned his sons, Paytin and eli, and they was all homeless and sad walkin around lookin for a new home. but then it got happy when they come to my trailer! we three start slathering our nude bodies with honey mustard and chives, and then them two start sixty nining my flesh folds real passionate like. then I get pregnant and have a baby, and the baby is Archie Manning! Paytin and Eli see that the baby is Archie, and together they say all ominous like, "the cycle is complete, the prophecy has been fulfilled". I woke up feelin all discombobulated. whatchu suppose that dream meant??

I think it means Eli and the Giants are going to turn their season around. I also think it means Paytin and the Colts will lose to Archie's Saints in the Superbowl....Again.

Hot4Peyton
10-01-2010, 11:45 AM
I think it means Eli and the Giants are going to turn their season around. I also think it means Paytin and the Colts will lose to Archie's Saints in the Superbowl....Again.

phew that sounds good I guess. I thought I was going to have to call a witch doctor or one of them head shrinks ta get me on some brain medicines. daddy once took a handful of mama's thorizine, then drank a whole bottle of listerine, what he called "Listerzeenin'". He got real confused like, and couldn't stop wettin his self. He was areal agitated, and his body got all herky jerky. He started yeallin, "they comin for us, they comin for us all!" then he climbed up a tree and wouldn't come down fer nothin. later that night he fell out the tree I guess when he passed out from exhaustion. he landed real awkward like and broke his clavicle and spatula bones. He was grouchy at first, but Dr. Tittleman subscribed him some nice pills that made him happy. daddy liked crunchin up them pills into a fine powder and puttin it in his mr. clean. I guess it gave it some more flavor that way.

1 dol fan
10-01-2010, 02:57 PM
phew that sounds good I guess. I thought I was going to have to call a witch doctor or one of them head shrinks ta get me on some brain medicines. daddy once took a handful of mama's thorizine, then drank a whole bottle of listerine. He got real confused like, and couldn't stop wettin his self. He was areal agitated, and his body got all herky jerky. He started yeallin, "they comin for us, they comin for us all!" then he climbed up a tree and wouldn't come down fer nothin. later that night he fell out the tree I guess when he passed out from exhaustion. he landed real awkward like and broke his clavicle and spatula bones. He was grouchy at first, but Dr. Tittleman subscribed him some nice pills that made him happy. daddy liked crunchin up them pills into a fine powder and puttin it in his mr. clean. I guess it gave it some more flavor that way.
Bet it tasted as good as your soy sauce/mustard fudge cakes.

Hot4Peyton
10-01-2010, 03:14 PM
Bet it tasted as good as your soy sauce/mustard fudge cakes.

Well, to be perflecly honest, i don't think daddy could taste it much. once he got to sippin on his mr. clean and other household chemicals, he started becoming real numb like. he once drank a whole bottle of floor wax, and he fell asleep right on top of an ant hill. well, he come to a few hours after, and lordy was he grouchy! Itchy too! he had these big old red welts all over his face and arms. and weeping pustules all over. his face was all swollen, and he couldn' harly open his eyes. we was so worried we almost called Dr. Tittleman, but daddy says he didna want him to find out he was drinkin the floor wax again. so he just went for a swim in the bog to sooth his skin pain and convalesce.

BobDole
10-02-2010, 01:18 AM
Well, to be perflecly honest, i don't think daddy could taste it much. once he got to sippin on his mr. clean and other household chemicals, he started becoming real numb like. he once drank a whole bottle of floor wax, and he fell asleep right on top of an ant hill. well, he come to a few hours after, and lordy was he grouchy! Itchy too! he had these big old red welts all over his face and arms. and weeping pustules all over. his face was all swollen, and he couldn' harly open his eyes. we was so worried we almost called Dr. Tittleman, but daddy says he didna want him to find out he was drinkin the floor wax again. so he just went for a swim in the bog to sooth his skin pain and convalesce.

i want to fist your belly button. with my head. love me.

Bumpus
10-02-2010, 01:10 PM
i want to fist your belly button. with my head. love me.

:lol2:

1 dol fan
10-02-2010, 08:07 PM
i want to fist your belly button. with my head. love me.
In all honesty, you have left me speechless... and that is a tough thing to do.

WISfinfan13
10-04-2010, 11:03 AM
Payton how was your weekend. Hope you didnt commit suicide after your boy toy blew the game yesterday.

Hot4Peyton
10-05-2010, 08:38 AM
i want to fist your belly button. with my head. love me.

shucks. that's powerful romantic! ifn ya wana see me make a sultry dance fer you, i got a couple of them debbie gibson tapes? but my tape whirling machine done broke years ago. mama was claimin she was hearing voices comin out the speaker telling her to do the devil's werk. i tried to essplain to mama that you was supposed to hear voices comin out the speaker, that was the purpose of the machine, and theys nothin about the devil's werk on no Tiffany album! but mama was a bit prone to exageration an she say they was subliminal messages? well, she started stabbin that tape machine so hard, she done electrificuted herself! shoot mama.

1 dol fan
10-05-2010, 09:26 AM
shucks. that's powerful romantic! ifn ya wana see me make a sultry dance fer you, i got a couple of them debbie gibson tapes? but my tape whirling machine done broke years ago. mama was claimin she was hearing voices comin out the speaker telling her to do the devil's werk. i tried to essplain to mama that you was supposed to hear voices comin out the speaker, that was the purpose of the machine, and theys nothin about the devil's werk on no Tiffany album! but mama was a bit prone to exageration an she say they was subliminal messages? well, she started stabbin that tape machine so hard, she done electrificuted herself! shoot mama.
One more gem like that and you can have me!

Hot4Peyton
10-05-2010, 12:59 PM
Payton how was your weekend. Hope you didnt commit suicide after your boy toy blew the game yesterday.

well, i hardly got to wartch no tv this weekend. a family of rabid opossums took up residence in my trailers crawlspace then got stuck in there. they was making this ungodly scrathchin and whining on account as they was starvin to death? i used daddy's (RIP) ol Dwarf Toss Champion '89 trophy to bust a hole in the wall to feed them some little debbies star crunches, but the mother opposum done repeatedly bit me on the hands! the wounds was powerful painful, and they started festerin real bad like. i was gonna call dr. tittleman, but my fingers was too swollen to werk the rotary phone. sos i managed to pour some bleach on them skin lascerations and it burned somethin fierce! my hands is all chemically burnt, but i think it done killed the rabies.

CedarPhin
10-05-2010, 02:07 PM
Sooner or later, you're going to get the full wrath of Joe from Wyoming.

X-Pacolypse
10-05-2010, 05:51 PM
Thats some real nice banjo fiddlin. My daddy once had an electric guit-fiddle and a big ol box what made it real loud. he got them at the pawn shop with gramma's weddin ring. Daddy had to dig up grammas grave to get that ring, on account she insisted on bein buried with it. daddy promised he'd buy the ring back once his songs was on the m-tv. he said he was gonna play some rock and roll songs like Leonard Skinner, who ever he is. trouble is, when his band come over to practice, they'd just huff Raid, and drink Pine Sol. they aint never even played no shows. Daddy got into a big fight with the drummer one day and stabbed him in the eye with a back scratcher, and the band broke up. daddy started usin the electric guit-fiddle to catch catfish. He would plug it in to the electrical socket, then throw it in the bog. Dem catfish would just float to the surface all dead like. that guit-fiddle sure helped us eat nice that week, but daddy aint never got grammas ring back.

I figured that kind of stuff was right up your alley.

X-Pacolypse
10-05-2010, 05:54 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWLVGjvFBJ8&feature=related

Bumpus
10-05-2010, 10:48 PM
well, i hardly got to wartch no tv this weekend. a family of rabid opossums took up residence in my trailers crawlspace then got stuck in there. they was making this ungodly scrathchin and whining on account as they was starvin to death? i used daddy's (RIP) ol Dwarf Toss Champion '89 trophy to bust a hole in the wall to feed them some little debbies star crunches, but the mother opposum done repeatedly bit me on the hands! the wounds was powerful painful, and they started festerin real bad like. i was gonna call dr. tittleman, but my fingers was too swollen to werk the rotary phone. sos i managed to pour some bleach on them skin lascerations and it burned somethin fierce! my hands is all chemically burnt, but i think it done killed the rabies.

I call shenanigans!

My uncle Jim-Bob holds the title of Dwarf Toss Champion '89.

Are you sure it doesn't say '88? Being deprived of the fancy book learnin' can sometimes make using tricky double-digit numbers a chore.

Ricky_Fan34
10-05-2010, 11:21 PM
I can just hear Joe R coming in here now...

"jizzmopjo, jizzmopjo"

MIGHT be my favorite poster on this whol god damned board, honestly.

1 dol fan
10-06-2010, 08:15 AM
I can just hear Joe R coming in here now...

"jizzmopjo, jizzmopjo"

MIGHT be my favorite poster on this whol god damned board, honestly.
Agreed.

X-Pacolypse
10-06-2010, 12:24 PM
I can just hear Joe R coming in here now...

"jizzmopjo, jizzmopjo"

MIGHT be my favorite poster on this whol god damned board, honestly.

:confused:

X-Pacolypse
10-07-2010, 05:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4sqishGuYw&feature=related

X-Pacolypse
10-07-2010, 05:09 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-QNHpaT3_U&feature=related

X-Pacolypse
10-07-2010, 05:10 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIY0aXGqDVs&feature=related

X-Pacolypse
10-07-2010, 05:11 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r26-QhXc9Xs&feature=related

WISfinfan13
10-07-2010, 05:16 PM
Payton I was at a concert the other day and took a picture of a girl. Is it you??

http://noadventure.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fat-girl-thong.jpg

WISfinfan13
10-07-2010, 05:18 PM
Payton I was at a concert the other day and took a picture of a girl. Is it you??

http://noadventure.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fat-girl-thong.jpg


Here was another one down at the bake sale stand.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:NiyAV91JLl1EbM:http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r70/lilifaith2004/NoFatChicks.jpg&t=1

JCane
10-07-2010, 06:09 PM
LMAO @ Come over on bath night.

:lol: :lol:

Myles Fynch
10-07-2010, 07:38 PM
I hope Hot4Peyton hasn't gone Hollywood on us.

xau5NvYbSRo

WISfinfan13
10-08-2010, 08:39 AM
I hope Hot4Peyton hasn't gone Hollywood on us.

xau5NvYbSRo


Too skinny.

Myles Fynch
10-08-2010, 08:57 AM
Too skinny.

She may have lost a chin or two when she got her head stuck in the refrigerator.

Hot4Peyton
10-12-2010, 09:42 AM
Payton I was at a concert the other day and took a picture of a girl. Is it you??

http://noadventure.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fat-girl-thong.jpg

Sorry, that aint me. I can't wear no fancy bloomers liken she wearin on account of my irritable bowel syndrome? there's alot of leakage from my lower cavities, that dr. tittleman calls the discharge. well, it lays waste lots of my undergarments, sos i just stopped werain them. in fact, most of the time, I just "porky pig" it around the trailer, that's wear you wear a top, but no bottoms. mostly it's my beloved colts swetshirt. I usually just drape a few shamwows on my couch to sit on, theys sop up all the anal leakage. sure some gets through on my heavy flow days, but it's a couch daddy got from the neighbors who done shot his self in the head whilst sittin on it, so they was already a bunch of stains when we got it.

Myles Fynch
10-13-2010, 09:13 AM
It just keeps getting better.

X-Pacolypse
10-13-2010, 07:59 PM
Sorry, that aint me. I can't wear no fancy bloomers liken she wearin on account of my irritable bowel syndrome? there's alot of leakage from my lower cavities, that dr. tittleman calls the discharge. well, it lays waste lots of my undergarments, sos i just stopped werain them. in fact, most of the time, I just "porky pig" it around the trailer, that's wear you wear a top, but no bottoms. mostly it's my beloved colts swetshirt. I usually just drape a few shamwows on my couch to sit on, theys sop up all the anal leakage. sure some gets through on my heavy flow days, but it's a couch daddy got from the neighbors who done shot his self in the head whilst sittin on it, so they was already a bunch of stains when we got it.

For the life of me I can't understand why Peyton Manning wouldn't be attracted to you.

DphinBillkiller
10-13-2010, 09:59 PM
Well Peyton likes the partying kind of girls. Maybe invite him to a party.

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Hot4Peyton
10-14-2010, 12:57 PM
For the life of me I can't understand why Peyton Manning wouldn't be attracted to you.

That's right kindly of you to say. I've even went so far as to send him love letters written with my own menses, on account I aint got no pens with ink in em. he must not be too big on correspondence, cause i never did get no response. I even sent him a slew of gifts too. couple years back i was havin a devil of a digestive problem called amoebic dysentery? dr said it was from drinkin all that bog water from out back, and livin in a unhygienic trailer. well, at any rate, i was on the toilet for weeks spewin out this wretched liquefied stink from my lower cavity. I hardly knew what to do! I even ran outta toilet tissue, and had to use little debbies wrappers to wipe my area. It was quite a pradicament. till one day, when somethin solid came out! well, i scooped it out of the brown water, and lo and behold, it resembled Payton! so i boxed it up, and sent it to him as a gift. well, my dysentery started back up again, and the Dr. tittleman said the illness corrupted my gutty works so intensely, that that solid mass I fished out of the toilet was actually a chunk of my small intestine! don't that beat all?

X-Pacolypse
10-14-2010, 07:29 PM
Is it possible to be disgusted and amused at the same time?

Hot4Peyton
10-21-2010, 09:20 AM
Dag. I had a powerful rough night last night, y'all, but it turned out to be a blessin ingognito. I was warchin my progrims and suddenly I had a hankering for a hunk o' cheese. Sos I waddled over to the ice box, and started excavatin. I found what I was searchin for, a nice wheel of blue cheese. It was tords the back of the icebox under some old discolored heads of cabbage. I concocted some make shift grilled cheese samwhiches with the blue cheese? I put a hunk of cheese, and some miracle whip betwixt two little debbie's oatmeal cream pies, and grilled em up on the radiator next to my sofa. Before I knew it, I done ate that whole wheel of cheese and two boxes of oatmeal cream pies. Well, my tummy started churnin something rabid! I took a closer look at the wrapper what the cheese wheel came in, and it turns out it waddint blue cheese at all, but a wheel of Brie from like 7 Thanksgivings ago. Well, since it was bath night, I decided a nice bubble bath would sooth my aching belly. I squeezed into the bathtub, and popped on a Vols game from Paytin's college days, and began to relax. I may have relaxed a bit too much though, cause my bowels up an exonerated they selves right there in my bath! it was quite a juxtaposition of sensations -- the warm comfort of the brown bathwater mixed in with the acrid odoriferousness of my diluted fecal matter. Well, turns out, It's great for yer skin, and the horrid aromas really clear up yer sinuses! I'm thinkin about openin my own spa!

X-Pacolypse
10-22-2010, 01:59 PM
Dag. I had a powerful rough night last night, y'all, but it turned out to be a blessin ingognito. I was warchin my progrims and suddenly I had a hankering for a hunk o' cheese. Sos I waddled over to the ice box, and started excavatin. I found what I was searchin for, a nice wheel of blue cheese. It was tords the back of the icebox under some old discolored heads of cabbage. I concocted some make shift grilled cheese samwhiches with the blue cheese? I put a hunk of cheese, and some miracle whip betwixt two little debbie's oatmeal cream pies, and grilled em up on the radiator next to my sofa. Before I knew it, I done ate that whole wheel of cheese and two boxes of oatmeal cream pies. Well, my tummy started churnin something rabid! I took a closer look at the wrapper what the cheese wheel came in, and it turns out it waddint blue cheese at all, but a wheel of Brie from like 7 Thanksgivings ago. Well, since it was bath night, I decided a nice bubble bath would sooth my aching belly. I squeezed into the bathtub, and popped on a Vols game from Paytin's college days, and began to relax. I may have relaxed a bit too much though, cause my bowels up an exonerated they selves right there in my bath! it was quite a juxtaposition of sensations -- the warm comfort of the brown bathwater mixed in with the acrid odoriferousness of my diluted fecal matter. Well, turns out, It's great for yer skin, and the horrid aromas really clear up yer sinuses! I'm thinkin about openin my own spa!

Well, before you start going out there and giving "fecal facials" to the visiting public, you might want to consult Dr. Tittleman and get a 2nd opinion about the "health benefits of feces." Ya know, just to make sure you have all your bases covered.

WISfinfan13
10-22-2010, 02:05 PM
Man I almost forgot about this thread. Payton I love you.

Dr. Tittleman
10-22-2010, 03:18 PM
Dag. I had a powerful rough night last night, y'all, but it turned out to be a blessin ingognito. I was warchin my progrims and suddenly I had a hankering for a hunk o' cheese. Sos I waddled over to the ice box, and started excavatin. I found what I was searchin for, a nice wheel of blue cheese. It was tords the back of the icebox under some old discolored heads of cabbage. I concocted some make shift grilled cheese samwhiches with the blue cheese? I put a hunk of cheese, and some miracle whip betwixt two little debbie's oatmeal cream pies, and grilled em up on the radiator next to my sofa. Before I knew it, I done ate that whole wheel of cheese and two boxes of oatmeal cream pies. Well, my tummy started churnin something rabid! I took a closer look at the wrapper what the cheese wheel came in, and it turns out it waddint blue cheese at all, but a wheel of Brie from like 7 Thanksgivings ago. Well, since it was bath night, I decided a nice bubble bath would sooth my aching belly. I squeezed into the bathtub, and popped on a Vols game from Paytin's college days, and began to relax. I may have relaxed a bit too much though, cause my bowels up an exonerated they selves right there in my bath! it was quite a juxtaposition of sensations -- the warm comfort of the brown bathwater mixed in with the acrid odoriferousness of my diluted fecal matter. Well, turns out, It's great for yer skin, and the horrid aromas really clear up yer sinuses! I'm thinkin about openin my own spa!

Humongous,

Thank you for inviting me to your new website. I am happy that you are making some digital friends here, but remember they are no excuse for real life interaction. I grow increasingly concerned about your diet and hygiene, and your cavalier attitude with which you talk about them. Please stop swimming in the bog, it is extremely polluted, and probably radioactive. I also fear you are spending too much sedentary time surfing the net, when you should be adhering to the simple exercise regimen I drew up for you. Please listen to your digital friends, fecal matter should not be used as a epidermal cleanser or exfoliate. It is good to have dreams about opening a spa, but lets work on your health first, okay?

Thank you for promoting my future publication, "Humongous: Why, God? Why?" I hope to have it released in the coming months.

WISfinfan13
10-22-2010, 03:22 PM
Dr. Tittleman

Now were talking!!

Hot4Peyton
10-22-2010, 03:24 PM
Humongous,

Thank you for inviting me to your new website. I am happy that you are making some digital friends here, but remember they are no excuse for real life interaction. I grow increasingly concerned about your diet and hygiene, and your cavalier attitude with which you talk about them. Please stop swimming in the bog, it is extremely polluted, and probably radioactive. I also fear you are spending too much sedentary time surfing the net, when you should be adhering to the simple exercise regimen I drew up for you. Please listen to your digital friends, fecal matter should not be used as a epidermal cleanser or exfoliate. It is good to have dreams about opening a spa, but lets work on your health first, okay?

Thank you for promoting my future publication, "Humongous: Why, God? Why?" I hope to have it released in the coming months.

Gawd, Dr. Tittleman! Why do you gotta embarrass me in front of my friends? Your makin me feel real shameful like. maybe i'll just eat some of these ol heads of cabbage, an drink some a daddy's emergncy floor wax? i bet youd feel bad ifn i did that, wouldn't ya dr. tittleman? nah, it'd probably make ya just write another chapter in yer book. ya know somethin? nuts ta this, ima grease myself up, and shimmy through the trailer door, and have a swim in tha bog! that'll learn ya!

X-Pacolypse
10-22-2010, 04:11 PM
Humongous,

Thank you for inviting me to your new website. I am happy that you are making some digital friends here, but remember they are no excuse for real life interaction. I grow increasingly concerned about your diet and hygiene, and your cavalier attitude with which you talk about them. Please stop swimming in the bog, it is extremely polluted, and probably radioactive. I also fear you are spending too much sedentary time surfing the net, when you should be adhering to the simple exercise regimen I drew up for you. Please listen to your digital friends, fecal matter should not be used as a epidermal cleanser or exfoliate. It is good to have dreams about opening a spa, but lets work on your health first, okay?

Thank you for promoting my future publication, "Humongous: Why, God? Why?" I hope to have it released in the coming months.

This thread just got better.

Bumpus
10-22-2010, 11:18 PM
We have now reached a new level of disturbed. :up:

X-Pacolypse
10-24-2010, 06:58 PM
We have now reached a new level of disturbed. :up:

Yeah, but it sure is entertaining.

1 dol fan
10-25-2010, 08:31 AM
Yeah, but it sure is entertaining.
God bless Peyton, Humongous and Dr. Tittleman!

DphinBillkiller
10-25-2010, 11:48 AM
Maybe it's just me but I think Peyton and Humongous would make a very charming couple. I feel Peyton needs some of that spa treatment as well!

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Hot4Peyton
10-25-2010, 12:40 PM
Maybe it's just me but I think Peyton and Humongous would make a very charming couple. I feel Peyton needs some of that spa treatment as well!

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

thas like a dream come to life! howd you do that? i knew these computer boxes was a right powerful technology, but howd it like infiltrate my brain bone?

X-Pacolypse
10-25-2010, 01:43 PM
Maybe it's just me but I think Peyton and Humongous would make a very charming couple. I feel Peyton needs some of that spa treatment as well!

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

I think you made Humongous' dreams come true.

X-Pacolypse
10-25-2010, 06:50 PM
Gawd, Dr. Tittleman! Why do you gotta embarrass me in front of my friends? Your makin me feel real shameful like. maybe i'll just eat some of these ol heads of cabbage, an drink some a daddy's emergncy floor wax? i bet youd feel bad ifn i did that, wouldn't ya dr. tittleman? nah, it'd probably make ya just write another chapter in yer book. ya know somethin? nuts ta this, ima grease myself up, and shimmy through the trailer door, and have a swim in tha bog! that'll learn ya!

You know, you should probably take the good doctors advice. He's just looking out for your best interests, ya know? Anyways, how was that swim in the bog?

Hot4Peyton
10-26-2010, 08:43 AM
You know, you should probably take the good doctors advice. He's just looking out for your best interests, ya know? Anyways, how was that swim in the bog?

At first it was a nice n relaxin swim in the full moon light. there was a real pretty green glow comin off the bog, n the water was nice n warm on account of the radioactivity? I can't swim real good like Jared from Subway, sos I kinda shimmy along in the shallower waters. well, things was goin good with my fleshfolds glistenin under the stars, I felt liken a swimsuit model from Sports Insinuated? then suddenly i feels a wretched pain in my foot bones! one of them mutated snapper turtles up n bit off my middle three toes! On both of my feets! the initial pain was powerful exquisite! But the healing green glow of the bog began to fix me. My remainin toes started to fuse together, and now my feets kinda resemble cloven hooves what youd see on a billy goat? I couldn't wear shoes in the past on account of my feets bein swollen all the time, so that aint no big loss. but Ima save alot of dough on toenail polish!

1 dol fan
10-26-2010, 08:45 AM
At first it was a nice n relaxin swim in the full moon light. there was a real pretty green glow comin off the bog, n the water was nice n warm on account of the radioactivity? I can't swim real good like Jared from Subway, sos I kinda shimmy along in the shallower waters. well, things was goin good with my fleshfolds glistenin under the stars, I felt liken a swimsuit model from Sports Insinuated? then suddenly i feels a wretched pain in my foot bones! one of them mutated snapper turtles up n bit off my middle three toes! On both of my feets! the initial pain was powerful exquisite! But the healing green glow of the bog began to fix me. My remainin toes started to fuse together, and now my feets kinda resemble cloven hooves what youd see on a billy goat? I couldn't wear shoes in the past on account of my feets bein swollen all the time, so that aint no big loss. but Ima save alot of dough on toenail polish!
That bog of yours sounds mighty powerful? Are you sure it aint no fountain of youth of sorts?

Hot4Peyton
10-26-2010, 08:56 AM
That bog of yours sounds mighty powerful? Are you sure it aint no fountain of youth of sorts?

well, when daddy was livin, he invited some scuba science fairies from the community adullt learnin annex ta come an search the bog. He thought he mightve drove his pick up truck into it while he was blacked out on a Pine Sol bender. well, they was pullin up alot of them whacha call em, conquistador helmets? the science fairies say that they was invaluable historic artifax? but daddy say they was just some "Mexican Bull****" n had em melted down for scrap metal. daddy never did recover his pick up truck neither.

X-Pacolypse
10-27-2010, 08:47 PM
well, when daddy was livin, he invited some scuba science fairies from the community adullt learnin annex ta come an search the bog. He thought he mightve drove his pick up truck into it while he was blacked out on a Pine Sol bender. well, they was pullin up alot of them whacha call em, conquistador helmets? the science fairies say that they was invaluable historic artifax? but daddy say they was just some "Mexican Bull****" n had em melted down for scrap metal. daddy never did recover his pick up truck neither.

Speaking of which, have you signed up for another art class down there?

Hot4Peyton
10-28-2010, 08:55 AM
Speaking of which, have you signed up for another art class down there?

well, not at present. but it wasn't for lack of tryin on my part. them eggheads wouldn't let me back in class on account of the boy i sat next to dying of the Toxoplasmosis? he was the only classmate who didn't shirk away from me when I came near. dr. tittleman said it was on account a he was a quadriplegic with the downs syndrome? but I know better, that boy had a crush on me. and you wanna know what? i liked him too. he was the spittin image of paytin manning! they say he got the toxoplasmosis from breathin in all the cat feces on my colts sweatshirt? but thats just an old wives tale! i lives knee deep in the stuff in my trailer, and im just fine. those mean so and sos wouldn't even let me go to his funeral.

1 dol fan
10-28-2010, 08:29 PM
well, not at present. but it wasn't for lack of tryin on my part. them eggheads wouldn't let me back in class on account of the boy i sat next to dying of the Toxoplasmosis? he was the only classmate who didn't shirk away from me when I came near. dr. tittleman said it was on account a he was a quadriplegic with the downs syndrome? but I know better, that boy had a crush on me. and you wanna know what? i liked him too. he was the spittin image of paytin manning! they say he got the toxoplasmosis from breathin in all the cat feces on my colts sweatshirt? but thats just an old wives tale! i lives knee deep in the stuff in my trailer, and im just fine. those mean so and sos wouldn't even let me go to his funeral.
Those crazy fools!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDkM-Zzgcdo

Hot4Peyton
11-04-2010, 10:20 AM
stoopid sheriff jergensens! i got arrested for endangerin the well bein of minors halloween night. on account a me puttin old petrified litter encrusted cat leavings in they trick er treat bags? dr. tittleman had to come and get me released. he told sheriff jergensens that i wasn;t quite right in the head, and to cut me a break, and dem kids wasn't gonna eat the cat feces anyhow. well nuts to that! the inside a my head feels fine! dem kids need ta learn to appreciate the finer things in life, and if they parents aint gonna teach em, maybe I should! when i find a peculiar chunk of cat excrement on the floor, it's like a special jewel gifted to me from a feline whatcares for me! i just wanted the yooth of today to feel the kind of joy I feel when I;m hobbling about in my trailer, and i step in a pile of jewels! when i'm scrapin that sweet treasure off my hoof, i feel trully loved. shoouldnt all kids feel that kinda love?

Bumpus
11-04-2010, 11:47 AM
stoopid sheriff jergensens! i got arrested for endangerin the well bein of minors halloween night. on account a me puttin old petrified litter encrusted cat leavings in they trick er treat bags? dr. tittleman had to come and get me released. he told sheriff jergensens that i wasn;t quite right in the head, and to cut me a break, and dem kids wasn't gonna eat the cat feces anyhow. well nuts to that! the inside a my head feels fine! dem kids need ta learn to appreciate the finer things in life, and if they parents aint gonna teach em, maybe I should! when i find a peculiar chunk of cat excrement on the floor, it's like a special jewel gifted to me from a feline whatcares for me! i just wanted the yooth of today to feel the kind of joy I feel when I;m hobbling about in my trailer, and i step in a pile of jewels! when i'm scrapin that sweet treasure off my hoof, i feel trully loved. shoouldnt all kids feel that kinda love?

You are truly a credit to your evolving species ... whatever it may be. :up:

DphinBillkiller
11-04-2010, 12:24 PM
Humongous with you being a (Huge) Cat and Feline fan. I was wondering what your thoughts were on the Bengals, Lions and Jaguars this year?

Hot4Peyton
11-04-2010, 01:17 PM
Humongous with you being a (Huge) Cat and Feline fan. I was wondering what your thoughts were on the Bengals, Lions and Jaguars this year?

Well, lions and jaguars is right creepy as can be. daddy used to lock himself in his room fer hours warchin them national geographic progrims? he used to says he liked learnin about them lions, jaguars and what not huntin they prey. but i warched some of them national geographic tapes and they was nothin on them but a bunch of floppy female bosoms? as far as them bagels is concerned, im a big fan. i like puttin cream cheese and catfish on mines. before mama pawned the microwave to pay for more a her brain medicine, she used to make lotsa mini pizza bagels, and she would put extra squirrel meat on top fer protein and flavor. sometimes when im all outta creamcheese, ill just slather some of the organic accumulates from within my fleshfoolds on my bagel, and that's a nice improvisational substitute that's also fairly tasty.

X-Pacolypse
11-04-2010, 04:07 PM
stoopid sheriff jergensens! i got arrested for endangerin the well bein of minors halloween night. on account a me puttin old petrified litter encrusted cat leavings in they trick er treat bags? dr. tittleman had to come and get me released. he told sheriff jergensens that i wasn;t quite right in the head, and to cut me a break, and dem kids wasn't gonna eat the cat feces anyhow. well nuts to that! the inside a my head feels fine! dem kids need ta learn to appreciate the finer things in life, and if they parents aint gonna teach em, maybe I should! when i find a peculiar chunk of cat excrement on the floor, it's like a special jewel gifted to me from a feline whatcares for me! i just wanted the yooth of today to feel the kind of joy I feel when I;m hobbling about in my trailer, and i step in a pile of jewels! when i'm scrapin that sweet treasure off my hoof, i feel trully loved. shoouldnt all kids feel that kinda love?

It's the thought that counts, Humongous.

Hot4Peyton
11-17-2010, 01:05 PM
i've had a powerful case of the green apple splatters for nigh going on 2 weeks now. the bouts of incontinence have become so frequent and intense, that i just started porky piggin it around the trailer -- that's where you wear a top but no bottoms? i was ruining just about every pair of bloomers i wore, so i just up and stopped wearin em altogether!. well, i was spendin so much time in the bathroom, that i decided to to keep my tv in there permenent like so as to not miss my progrims? this lead to a very unadvantageous accident however. ya see, on account of my front-butt, i have to "AC Slater" it everytime i use the terlet -- that's when ya sit on the terlet facing the wall. well the other night, the splatters came on real powerful like, and i rushed to sit down on the terlet without positioning my flesh folds proper like? well, a torrent of excrement kinda shotgunned outta my hindquarters and spackled my beloved tv screen! now it's all crusted over with my internal stink, and my shamwows and oxyclean won't get it off! im a might perplexed as to what to do. in the mean time, i cobbled together afew adult diapers so theyd fit over my girth. at least this way i won't befoul anymore of my possessions by usin the pesky terlet!

X-Pacolypse
11-18-2010, 06:18 PM
i've had a powerful case of the green apple splatters for nigh going on 2 weeks now. the bouts of incontinence have become so frequent and intense, that i just started porky piggin it around the trailer -- that's where you wear a top but no bottoms? i was ruining just about every pair of bloomers i wore, so i just up and stopped wearin em altogether!. well, i was spendin so much time in the bathroom, that i decided to to keep my tv in there permenent like so as to not miss my progrims? this lead to a very unadvantageous accident however. ya see, on account of my front-butt, i have to "AC Slater" it everytime i use the terlet -- that's when ya sit on the terlet facing the wall. well the other night, the splatters came on real powerful like, and i rushed to sit down on the terlet without positioning my flesh folds proper like? well, a torrent of excrement kinda shotgunned outta my hindquarters and spackled my beloved tv screen! now it's all crusted over with my internal stink, and my shamwows and oxyclean won't get it off! im a might perplexed as to what to do. in the mean time, i cobbled together afew adult diapers so theyd fit over my girth. at least this way i won't befoul anymore of my possessions by usin the pesky terlet!

"AC Slater" it? Never heard of that until now. My, my, my Humongous. Such an interesting life you lead.

Bumpus
11-25-2010, 11:18 AM
So, Humongous ...

What's on the menu today for thanksgivin' - any special treats from the bog?

Hot4Peyton
12-01-2010, 09:59 AM
So, Humongous ...

What's on the menu today for thanksgivin' - any special treats from the bog?

well, i cooked up my famous boiled eel and owl pellet casserole this thanksgiving. the neighbors always complain to sheriff jergensens about the putrid aromas that acompany the cooking process? but this year they was outta town, so i guess that was a blessin.l thanksgiving is always a bitter sweet time for me. daddy always called it "Thanks fer Nuthin - Giving", and usually would drink a bottle or two of Windex, then go and throw handfuls a his own feces at native americans. daddy was always miscombobulatin things, he shouldn't have been throwin his feces at injuns, he shoulda been throwin them at pilgrums! daddy got real cloudy on History after about half a bottle a Windex. i invited dr. tittleman over fer dinner this year, but he got in trouble again fer takin photos of peoples bare feet down at the footlocker without they permission.

X-Pacolypse
12-01-2010, 03:03 PM
well, i cooked up my famous boiled eel and owl pellet casserole this thanksgiving. the neighbors always complain to sheriff jergensens about the putrid aromas that acompany the cooking process? but this year they was outta town, so i guess that was a blessin.l thanksgiving is always a bitter sweet time for me. daddy always called it "Thanks fer Nuthin - Giving", and usually would drink a bottle or two of Windex, then go and throw handfuls a his own feces at native americans. daddy was always miscombobulatin things, he shouldn't have been throwin his feces at injuns, he shoulda been throwin them at pilgrums! daddy got real cloudy on History after about half a bottle a Windex. i invited dr. tittleman over fer dinner this year, but he got in trouble again fer takin photos of peoples bare feet down at the footlocker without they permission.

Owl Pellet Casserole. I can't say that I've ever had that. I did have broccoli casserole, though. I didn't realize Dr. Tittleman had a foot fetish.

Dr. Tittleman
12-01-2010, 03:05 PM
well, i cooked up my famous boiled eel and owl pellet casserole this thanksgiving. the neighbors always complain to sheriff jergensens about the putrid aromas that acompany the cooking process? but this year they was outta town, so i guess that was a blessin.l thanksgiving is always a bitter sweet time for me. daddy always called it "Thanks fer Nuthin - Giving", and usually would drink a bottle or two of Windex, then go and throw handfuls a his own feces at native americans. daddy was always miscombobulatin things, he shouldn't have been throwin his feces at injuns, he shoulda been throwin them at pilgrums! daddy got real cloudy on History after about half a bottle a Windex. i invited dr. tittleman over fer dinner this year, but he got in trouble again fer takin photos of peoples bare feet down at the footlocker without they permission.

Dear Humongous,

I would appreciate it if you did not discuss my pending legal dispute with the patrons of Footlocker Incorporated, and the executive management of said corporation. Since I am no longer licensed to practice Podiatry, I sometimes must employ unorthodox methods to continue my incredibly important research. These methods may include obtaining a part time job as a sneaker salesman at an athletic footwear outlet, and photographically documenting the many varieties of feet with a hidden camera. I assure you that while ascertaining the shoe sizes of potential research subjects, in no way did I "fondle" their feet, nor did I "drool" while lacing up their new shoes. If my precious research made costumers of The Footlocker Corporation uncomfortable, or "creeped out and violated" as they put it, that is THEIR problem, not mine! My early and unwarranted termination from Footlocker Incorporated was an egregious mistake, and a profoundly giant leap backwards in my research, that is only harming the foot health of Mankind!

On another note, Humongous, I am sorry I missed out on your delicious Boiled Eel and Owl Pellet Casserole. It has always been a Thanksgiving favorite of mine. It is a dish that is truly worth the crippling and painful diarrhea that is always sure to immediately follow its consumption.

X-Pacolypse
12-01-2010, 03:16 PM
Dear Humongous,

I would appreciate it if you did not discuss my pending legal dispute with the patrons of Footlocker Incorporated, and the executive management of said corporation. Since I am no longer licensed to practice Podiatry, I sometimes must employ unorthodox methods to continue my incredibly important research. These methods may include obtaining a part time job as a sneaker salesman at an athletic footwear outlet, and photographically documenting the many varieties of feet with a hidden camera. I assure you that while ascertaining the shoe sizes of potential research subjects, in no way did I "fondle" their feet, nor did I "drool" while lacing up their new shoes. If my precious research made costumers of The Footlocker Corporation uncomfortable, or "creeped out and violated" as they put it, that is THEIR problem, not mine! My early and unwarranted termination from Footlocker Incorporated was an egregious mistake, and a profoundly giant leap backwards in my research, that is only harming the foot health of Mankind!

On another note, Humongous, I am sorry I missed out on your delicious Boiled Eel and Owl Pellet Casserole. It has always been a Thanksgiving favorite of mine. It is a dish that is truly worth the crippling and painful diarrhea that is always sure to immediately follow its consumption.

:lol:

DphinBillkiller
12-01-2010, 06:24 PM
Damn Humongous thats sounds like one dadgum tasty meal you had there on the holidays. A feast fit for a king, and certainly for a quarterback in a blue and white jersey with a number 18 on it. They say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, So maybe you should freeze some of them thar vittles and Fed Ex to your beau TV dinner style. I suspect he would come a running lickety split for a chance at seconds of them thar mouth watering delicacies.

X-Pacolypse
12-01-2010, 07:44 PM
Damn Humongous thats sounds like one dadgum tasty meal you had there on the holidays. A feast fit for a king, and certainly for a quarterback in a blue and white jersey with a number 18 on it. They say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, So maybe you should freeze some of them thar vittles and Fed Ex to your beau TV dinner style. I suspect he would come a running lickety split for a chance at seconds of them thar mouth watering delicacies.

Who's to say she already hasn't?

DphinBillkiller
12-01-2010, 08:58 PM
:err: You raise a good point there (X)!

A bright girl like Humongous and that Tittles fella may have done occurred with that there idea. :ponder:

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2010/12/11jn0j7-1.jpg

X-Pacolypse
12-14-2010, 09:21 PM
Humongous, do you have the trailer decorated for the holidays?

CedarPhin
12-14-2010, 09:43 PM
Are you Joe R's relative?

Bumpus
12-15-2010, 12:47 AM
Humongous, do you have the trailer decorated for the holidays?

Perhaps burning a giant, wooden #18 in the front yard?

Hot4Peyton
12-15-2010, 11:02 AM
Humongous, do you have the trailer decorated for the holidays?

Well, I pretty much keep the trailer decorated year round. last week dr. tittleman came by to snap some poloroids of my hooves, and we decided to get into the holiday spirit. i popped in my Amy Grant Christmas tape, and we made some Bog Egg Nog. I'm pretty sure them eggs I used had turned rancid, on account of my gutty werks being swimmin with parasites? At any rate, after his 3rd laddlefull of Bog Nog, dr. tittleman started projectile vomiting something fierce! He was staggering about the trailer, spoutin his sickness, n splashin all over the walls. Well, his vomit had a nice green glow on account of the radioactive bog water in the nog, so it looked real festive n pretty on my walls, if a bit chunky. poor dr. tittleman has been feverishly convalescing in the bathtub for the past few days. he keeps slipping in and outta consciousness, awaking only to spasmodically rant in a very incoherent fashion. he refuses to take any meals, even little debbies! well, i sure hope he feels better by christmas, cause i made him a beautiful ear wax sculpture of archie manning taking eli n peytons tempurtures with rectal thermometers? Dr. tittleman aint much of a sports fan, but i think he'd appreciate the medical care archie was providin.

X-Pacolypse
12-15-2010, 03:24 PM
Well, I pretty much keep the trailer decorated year round. last week dr. tittleman came by to snap some poloroids of my hooves, and we decided to get into the holiday spirit. i popped in my Amy Grant Christmas tape, and we made some Bog Egg Nog. I'm pretty sure them eggs I used had turned rancid, on account of my gutty werks being swimmin with parasites? At any rate, after his 3rd laddlefull of Bog Nog, dr. tittleman started projectile vomiting something fierce! He was staggering about the trailer, spoutin his sickness, n splashin all over the walls. Well, his vomit had a nice green glow on account of the radioactive bog water in the nog, so it looked real festive n pretty on my walls, if a bit chunky. poor dr. tittleman has been feverishly convalescing in the bathtub for the past few days. he keeps slipping in and outta consciousness, awaking only to spasmodically rant in a very incoherent fashion. he refuses to take any meals, even little debbies! well, i sure hope he feels better by christmas, cause i made him a beautiful ear wax sculpture of archie manning taking eli n peytons tempurtures with rectal thermometers? Dr. tittleman aint much of a sports fan, but i think he'd appreciate the medical care archie was providin.

Year around, you say? I gotta say Humongous, you sure are full of the holiday spirit! By the way, I think that's a very thoughtful gift you made for Dr. Tittleman. Did you make that gift down at the learning annex?

Sheriff Jergens
12-15-2010, 03:38 PM
Well, I pretty much keep the trailer decorated year round. last week dr. tittleman came by to snap some poloroids of my hooves, and we decided to get into the holiday spirit. i popped in my Amy Grant Christmas tape, and we made some Bog Egg Nog. I'm pretty sure them eggs I used had turned rancid, on account of my gutty werks being swimmin with parasites? At any rate, after his 3rd laddlefull of Bog Nog, dr. tittleman started projectile vomiting something fierce! He was staggering about the trailer, spoutin his sickness, n splashin all over the walls. Well, his vomit had a nice green glow on account of the radioactive bog water in the nog, so it looked real festive n pretty on my walls, if a bit chunky. poor dr. tittleman has been feverishly convalescing in the bathtub for the past few days. he keeps slipping in and outta consciousness, awaking only to spasmodically rant in a very incoherent fashion. he refuses to take any meals, even little debbies! well, i sure hope he feels better by christmas, cause i made him a beautiful ear wax sculpture of archie manning taking eli n peytons tempurtures with rectal thermometers? Dr. tittleman aint much of a sports fan, but i think he'd appreciate the medical care archie was providin.

Well well well. I should have known you had something to do with this, Humongous! Your Daddy was a no good trouble maker, and I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! Dr. Tittleman's mother has reported him missing, and she's been worried half to death! I should have guessed it, the way he's always over at your trailer, doing Lord knows what! Probably something lewd! Foot Doctor! HoooWEEE, the limit of that man's perversions knows no bounds!

Okay, Humongous. I'll send Deputy Dinglehoffer over their to pick up the good doctor, so his poor mother can get some sleep. That mama's boy needs to move out, shoot! Then maybe we can get some peace and quiet around here! Daggum it!

Stay outta that dern Bog, now ya hear?

X-Pacolypse
12-15-2010, 05:48 PM
Well well well. I should have known you had something to do with this, Humongous! Your Daddy was a no good trouble maker, and I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! Dr. Tittleman's mother has reported him missing, and she's been worried half to death! I should have guessed it, the way he's always over at your trailer, doing Lord knows what! Probably something lewd! Foot Doctor! HoooWEEE, the limit of that man's perversions knows no bounds!

Okay, Humongous. I'll send Deputy Dinglehoffer over their to pick up the good doctor, so his poor mother can get some sleep. That mama's boy needs to move out, shoot! Then maybe we can get some peace and quiet around here! Daggum it!

Stay outta that dern Bog, now ya hear?

Goddamn.... Before you know it, the whole community of Defeated, TN is going to be hanging out in this thread.

Bumpus
12-16-2010, 12:58 AM
What I'd like to know, Sheriff Jergens, is - Where does the Co. Board of Health Commissioner stand on this matter?

X-Pacolypse
12-17-2010, 08:10 PM
What I'd like to know, Sheriff Jergens, is - Where does the Co. Board of Health Commissioner stand on this matter?

Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be on this thread giving his two cents on the bog here shortly.

DphinBillkiller
12-17-2010, 10:18 PM
Well Humongous, truly it sounds like you have your place decorated really nice and right fancy, and in such a festive spirit for the holidays. I do declare I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that St. Nick feller dropped by for a visit. I imagine some of them reindeer droppings would make some rather ritzy ornaments do tell.

Now it seems clear to me that since Peyton likes Colts, and Colts have hooves. And since you have hooves you could invite Peyton over to sit and admire yours for a for a spell. Seems you two have so much in common already .

Now iff'n he was to visit while you under a sprig of that there bog mistletoe. He would probably commence to kissing on you something fierce. After a kiss or three, you might cool his ardor and explain to him you aren't one of them loose kind of girls. But by then I'm sure he will be smitten and head over hooves in love. Heres a wish'n ya'll some sweet times, and Happy Holidays in your beautiful bog!

X-Pacolypse
12-19-2010, 03:36 PM
Humongous, it's only 6 days until Christmas. Do you have all your shopping done?

Hot4Peyton
12-27-2010, 03:14 PM
Well, I got Guinea Worm again.

Hot4Peyton
12-28-2010, 11:20 AM
Well, I got Guinea Worm again.

Dr. Tittleman has been downright perplexed as to how I managed to contract a parasite whats endemic to only the poorest pastoral communities in Africa, but I've never been one for complainin. Sos I got all them guinea worms extracted from my legs, and wouldn't ya know it? they look like long strands a spaghetti! well, I up an decided to get creative in the kitchen, and whip up some guinea worm and flesh fold cheese pasta! Dem eyetalians got nothin on me in the kitchen! While boilin them guinea worms, I scooped out a few handfuls of organic acumulates from the deepest recesses of my crotchal vicinities, and mixed it up with some expired half n half. lord almighty the odor was downright overwhelmin! but aint it that all the best tastin cheeses are the ones what smell the worst? Anyhow, deputy dinglehoffer stopped by to check up on things, and I offered him a plate. he coiled some up on a spork, and dug in. he loved it! even asked fer seconds! I'm so glad he enjoyed it, cause I heard he's been hospitalized yeasterday -- and hospital food is terrible! Get well soon, Deputy!

X-Pacolypse
01-07-2011, 10:10 PM
Well, Humongous how have you been? Well, aside from that guinea worm I guess you've been doing OK. So, do you have any resolutions for 2011?

X-Pacolypse
01-13-2011, 11:36 PM
Uh oh. I'm afraid Humongous may have disappeared in that mysterious bog or may still be battling the Guinea worm. What has happened to our resident kitty litter artist?

Bumpus
01-14-2011, 12:02 AM
Uh oh. I'm afraid Humongous may have disappeared in that mysterious bog or may still be battling the Guinea worm. What has happened to our resident kitty litter artist?

Perhaps she's been captured, & is being studied around the clock by teams of "top men" at the Learnin' Annex?

Bumpus
01-14-2011, 12:03 AM
... Or maybe she's just off stalking the Manning family reunion.

X-Pacolypse
01-15-2011, 04:00 PM
Perhaps she's been captured, & is being studied around the clock by teams of "top men" at the Learnin' Annex?

Perhaps.

X-Pacolypse
01-15-2011, 04:01 PM
... Or maybe she's just off stalking the Manning family reunion.

Well, if that was the case there would be reports of a morbidly obese female creature with goat like hooves in the area.

X-Pacolypse
01-28-2011, 09:00 PM
I'm afraid it may be time to strike up the "Humongous Memorial Thread."

Bumpus
01-29-2011, 12:42 AM
Methinks she's hibernating.

Gonzo
01-29-2011, 12:57 AM
She's eating as many Taco Bell tacos as she can before they add more real beef.

Bumpus
01-29-2011, 01:08 AM
I'll bet she doesn't care about the meat and such - so long as she can still put her special "bog sauce" on em.

Hot4Peyton
01-31-2011, 11:49 AM
well, it's good to be back on the world wide web, my computer machine up and got hacked! last week Cousin Jeb stopped by to drop off a few jars of pickled hog testicles? i could tell he'd been huffin lemon pledge all morning, on account of his breath bein so fresh. at any rate, Cousin Jeb saw my computer book and flew into a pledge fueled rage! he was harpin all about some science-tology? and catchin predeators? then he up and grabbed daddy's hack saw, and rended my beloved computer machine in two! I was powerless to stop Cousin Jeb, on account I had already consumed a jar of hog testicles (i even drank the brine!), and it aint possible fer me to move about after my feedins. luckily dr. tittleman knows some kinda egghead what can fix electronic gizmos and now it's back up n runnin! initially i was real mad at Cousin Jeb, but I guess he thought he was helpin. besides, nobody pickles a testicle quite like Cousin Jeb.

Bumpus
01-31-2011, 08:59 PM
well, it's good to be back on the world wide web, my computer machine up and got hacked! last week Cousin Jeb stopped by to drop off a few jars of pickled hog testicles? i could tell he'd been huffin lemon pledge all morning, on account of his breath bein so fresh. at any rate, Cousin Jeb saw my computer book and flew into a pledge fueled rage! he was harpin all about some science-tology? and catchin predeators? then he up and grabbed daddy's hack saw, and rended my beloved computer machine in two! I was powerless to stop Cousin Jeb, on account I had already consumed a jar of hog testicles (i even drank the brine!), and it aint possible fer me to move about after my feedins. luckily dr. tittleman knows some kinda egghead what can fix electronic gizmos and now it's back up n runnin! initially i was real mad at Cousin Jeb, but I guess he thought he was helpin. besides, nobody pickles a testicle quite like Cousin Jeb.

I'll bet.

X-Pacolypse
02-06-2011, 04:55 PM
well, it's good to be back on the world wide web, my computer machine up and got hacked! last week Cousin Jeb stopped by to drop off a few jars of pickled hog testicles? i could tell he'd been huffin lemon pledge all morning, on account of his breath bein so fresh. at any rate, Cousin Jeb saw my computer book and flew into a pledge fueled rage! he was harpin all about some science-tology? and catchin predeators? then he up and grabbed daddy's hack saw, and rended my beloved computer machine in two! I was powerless to stop Cousin Jeb, on account I had already consumed a jar of hog testicles (i even drank the brine!), and it aint possible fer me to move about after my feedins. luckily dr. tittleman knows some kinda egghead what can fix electronic gizmos and now it's back up n runnin! initially i was real mad at Cousin Jeb, but I guess he thought he was helpin. besides, nobody pickles a testicle quite like Cousin Jeb.

Well, that's quite a story, Humongous. Now, I know you might still be mad at Couson Jeb, but I think he was only trying to look out for your best interests.

Hot4Peyton
02-08-2011, 10:00 AM
Well, that's quite a story, Humongous. Now, I know you might still be mad at Couson Jeb, but I think he was only trying to look out for your best interests.

yeah, cousin jeb has a real big heart. we was close as youngins. he was one of the only other kids my age what was able to understand all of my communicative grunts and gesticulations. i was real sad like when he got a big fancy job up in kalamazoo michigan makin them hygienic terlet seat liners? he was gone some years before a factory fire burn off most a his skin, and he had trouble finding work on account of him lookin like freddy krueger? he wasn't able to get no workers comp neither on account of him being the cause of the fire. cousin jeb's real eccentric like, and he likes smokin them big sherlock holmes pipes? well, he was smokin on the terlet liner factory floor, and one a them embers from his sherlock pipe started the blaze. shoot, cousin jeb! well, now he's back home in defeated, TN where he belongs. hes doin alot better now, and hes learned alot about fire safety. the fire marshal even said his meth lab was one of the safest in town!

Bumpus
02-08-2011, 10:12 AM
yeah, cousin jeb has a real big heart. we was close as youngins. he was one of the only other kids my age what was able to understand all of my communicative grunts and gesticulations. i was real sad like when he got a big fancy job up in kalamazoo michigan makin them hygienic terlet seat liners? he was gone some years before a factory fire burn off most a his skin, and he had trouble finding work on account of him lookin like freddy krueger? he wasn't able to get no workers comp neither on account of him being the cause of the fire. cousin jeb's real eccentric like, and he likes smokin them big sherlock holmes pipes? well, he was smokin on the terlet liner factory floor, and one a them embers from his sherlock pipe started the blaze. shoot, cousin jeb! well, now he's back home in defeated, TN where he belongs. hes doin alot better now, and hes learned alot about fire safety. the fire marshal even said his meth lab was one of the safest in town!

Sad story indeed.

Perhaps he could be re-trained?

I'm certain that there would be several interesting courses at the learnin annex that he could pursue.

Hot4Peyton
02-08-2011, 11:51 AM
Sad story indeed.

Perhaps he could be re-trained?

I'm certain that there would be several interesting courses at the learnin annex that he could pursue.

well, cousin jeb was never to good at book learnin on account a he can't read none? but since he was born with an abnormally large backside, and is prone to frequent bouts of incontinence. that terlet seat lining tester was his dream job. it's right sad hes been blacklisted from working in the terlet seat liner industry now. he told me that since the fire, he cant no longer look at a terlet without feelin the post traumatic stress disorder? so now he has ta defecate into small holes in his front yard he digs his self. thats why cousin jeb carries around a small shovel, he calls his "bowel trowel".

X-Pacolypse
02-08-2011, 02:29 PM
Cousin Jeb has lived quite the interesting life.

Hot4Peyton
02-08-2011, 03:23 PM
Cousin Jeb has lived quite the interesting life.

well that's for sure. i think he can still make a buncha money with some of his recipes. he tried to mass produce his pickled hog testicles, and sell em down at the piggly wiggly, but he just couldn't afford the production costs. ya see, one of the secret ingredients is the fluid what weeps out of a cyst continuously pulsating just above my rump crack? since its powerful painful to extract the fluid, cousin jeb would have ta hire a few strong men to hold me down, while he lanced my cyst. well, those men was just too expensive to hire every other day, so now he only makes his sweet creations in small batches.

X-Pacolypse
02-08-2011, 05:03 PM
well that's for sure. i think he can still make a buncha money with some of his recipes. he tried to mass produce his pickled hog testicles, and sell em down at the piggly wiggly, but he just couldn't afford the production costs. ya see, one of the secret ingredients is the fluid what weeps out of a cyst continuously pulsating just above my rump crack? since its powerful painful to extract the fluid, cousin jeb would have ta hire a few strong men to hold me down, while he lanced my cyst. well, those men was just too expensive to hire every other day, so now he only makes his sweet creations in small batches.

Sometimes the best things come in small doses.... really small doses.

Myles Fynch
02-11-2011, 02:22 AM
I love the way the folds of fat dangle seductively off your chin, H4P. The line of fellas back home must wrap around the hen house three times.

X-Pacolypse
02-11-2011, 11:52 PM
I love the way the folds of fat dangle seductively off your chin, H4P. The line of fellas back home must wrap around the hen house three times.

Rumor has it the time the fellas "come courtin" the most is on bath night.

Bumpus
02-12-2011, 12:44 AM
Rumor has it the time the fellas "come courtin" the most is on bath night.

Or, right after a trip to Kountry Kitchen Buffet. (if she's fed, she's less likely to try and eat them)

X-Pacolypse
02-15-2011, 04:37 PM
Or, right after a trip to Kountry Kitchen Buffet. (if she's fed, she's less likely to try and eat them)

Do they serve "bog sauce" at that establishment?

Bumpus
02-15-2011, 07:09 PM
Do they serve "bog sauce" at that establishment?

Unsure ... I'm guessing she has to bring homemade "packets" with her & apply it generously after the trip to the trough. :up:

Myles Fynch
02-15-2011, 11:42 PM
Waterbeds, whiskey, and chicks that smell like KFC. Can't beat it.

Ricky_Fan34
02-15-2011, 11:47 PM
Hot4Peyton, you should join in on the FinHeaven 2010 awards and vote.

Remember,
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2011/02/2lvzuco-1.jpg

Myles Fynch
02-16-2011, 12:46 AM
Hot4Peyton, you should join in on the FinHeaven 2010 awards and vote.

That was really whorish.

Ricky_Fan34
02-16-2011, 12:47 AM
That was really whorish.
It's kinda mah thing.. :lol:

And while I'm at it, why don't you...
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2011/02/2lvzuco-1.jpg

X-Pacolypse
02-28-2011, 11:24 PM
Humongous, what's going on down by the bog these days?

Hot4Peyton
03-01-2011, 11:51 AM
Humongous, what's going on down by the bog these days?

well, things is real nice around the bog these days, specially since the weathers startin ta warm up. it was real sunny like t'other day, so i put on my favorite joey lawrence tape, and cranked it up real loud. i went it to the front yard and got up on one a daddy's old brokedown ford edsels, and did a lillte hoof tap dance of seduction. well, i didn't manage to attract no suitors, but all that movin about made me hungry somethin rabid! my gutty works stratin singin they whale songs, and I just knew it was feedin time! I was all outta sweet meats and tangy treats at my trailer, sos I asked Dr. Tittleman ta pick me up a couple Chipotle and mayo sauce foot longs down at the subway? initially he refused, on account a some lack of nutrients? but i startin squeelin and screetchin my protests of discontent, and the good dr. eventually relented. well, now im on tha jared diet, so I'll be ready for bikinni season at the bog.

Myles Fynch
03-01-2011, 12:54 PM
Should have at least earned a nomination for Thread of the Year. This was an over-looked gem.

Bumpus
03-01-2011, 12:56 PM
well, things is real nice around the bog these days, specially since the weathers startin ta warm up. it was real sunny like t'other day, so i put on my favorite joey lawrence tape, and cranked it up real loud. i went it to the front yard and got up on one a daddy's old brokedown ford edsels, and did a lillte hoof tap dance of seduction. well, i didn't manage to attract no suitors, but all that movin about made me hungry somethin rabid! my gutty works stratin singin they whale songs, and I just knew it was feedin time! I was all outta sweet meats and tangy treats at my trailer, sos I asked Dr. Tittleman ta pick me up a couple Chipotle and mayo sauce foot longs down at the subway? initially he refused, on account a some lack of nutrients? but i startin squeelin and screetchin my protests of discontent, and the good dr. eventually relented. well, now im on tha jared diet, so I'll be ready for bikinni season at the bog.

Good lord!

Well, I'm done with my lunch...

Bumpus
03-01-2011, 12:57 PM
Should have at least earned a nomination for Thread of the Year. This was an over-looked gem.

I actually nominated Humongus for ROY. :up:

X-Pacolypse
03-02-2011, 04:46 PM
Good lord!

Well, I'm done with my lunch...

Don't lie. You were turned on when you read that.

X-Pacolypse
03-04-2011, 05:17 PM
Well, lions and jaguars is right creepy as can be. daddy used to lock himself in his room fer hours warchin them national geographic progrims? he used to says he liked learnin about them lions, jaguars and what not huntin they prey. but i warched some of them national geographic tapes and they was nothin on them but a bunch of floppy female bosoms? as far as them bagels is concerned, im a big fan. i like puttin cream cheese and catfish on mines. before mama pawned the microwave to pay for more a her brain medicine, she used to make lotsa mini pizza bagels, and she would put extra squirrel meat on top fer protein and flavor. sometimes when im all outta creamcheese, ill just slather some of the organic accumulates from within my fleshfoolds on my bagel, and that's a nice improvisational substitute that's also fairly tasty.

Humongous, did you ever get your microwave back? I know mama's "brain medicine" is important, but a lot of your favorite meals come from the microwave I reckon?

Myles Fynch
03-06-2011, 03:29 PM
Aluminum foil lining a satellite dish can work in a pinch when the microwave is on the fritz or at the pawn shop. I dated a Denny's waitress once.

Bumpus
03-06-2011, 05:26 PM
... Or, you could just harvest some methane from the bog and use it to flash fry dem vittles.

Myles Fynch
03-06-2011, 11:47 PM
... Or, you could just harvest some methane from the bog and use it to flash fry dem vittles.

Just make sure that's where the methane came from first.

Hot4Peyton
03-07-2011, 10:01 AM
well, sad to say, I aint never did get the microwave back. I mostly do all my cookin on the radiator. It gets powerful hot, so I can melt my blued cheeses onto my little debbies? it does gets a bit warm in the summertime, and im under the impression one of them sick cats died behind that radiator, cause theys been a rabid stench of bruning fur, and decomposin feline whenever i do my cookin. i havent done much cookin lately though. i been havin a real rough go of it lately, my irritable bowel syndrome bene acting up something morbid! which is normally tolerable, but my 'roids have been acting up as well, and let me tell you this how about? ithcy bleedin 'roids and an endless fount of hot stinky liquids are a powerful painful mix! oh, the discomfort!

Bumpus
03-07-2011, 10:43 AM
well, sad to say, I aint never did get the microwave back. I mostly do all my cookin on the radiator. It gets powerful hot, so I can melt my blued cheeses onto my little debbies? it does gets a bit warm in the summertime, and im under the impression one of them sick cats died behind that radiator, cause theys been a rabid stench of bruning fur, and decomposin feline whenever i do my cookin. i havent done much cookin lately though. i been havin a real rough go of it lately, my irritable bowel syndrome bene acting up something morbid! which is normally tolerable, but my 'roids have been acting up as well, and let me tell you this how about? ithcy bleedin 'roids and an endless fount of hot stinky liquids are a powerful painful mix! oh, the discomfort!

Sorry to hear that. Just think happy thoughts about Peyton, you'll get through it. :up:

Myles Fynch
03-07-2011, 05:30 PM
A big ol' bean bag chair will fix ya right up!

Hot4Peyton
03-09-2011, 02:03 PM
A big ol' bean bag chair will fix ya right up!

Well, I wonce had a been bag some years back. It used to be my mamas from back in the sixties? and she gifted it to me after i took a doosie of a tumble. The bathroom floor in the trailer had been rotting through on account of them leaky pipes? so when fateful day when I trotted in there to make my leavings, i done fell through the floor, and shattered both my hips under my own weight. well, it was powerful painful during the healing process, so mama was kind enuff to share her bean bag chair to help me more comftably convalesce? well, one day when mama and daddy was out at the saloon propositioning passers through for monies in exchange for naughty favors, they was arrested by a whaddya call them? undercover stingray opperation? I was left hom in the trailer with no help or food, unable to walk, on account of both my legs bein in homeade casts? well after a few hours, I had become ravenously hungry, sos I tore open that beanbag and ate all them raw beans inside! well, the ensuing results a that meal was some of the worst incontinence i done ever had. i was just layin there in a empty bean bag befouling myself with my own excrememt for days on end. And old dominion, the stench! ironically that stench was what alerted passers by to my predicament, and they was able to help me up between bouts of vomiting. i guess i always have relied upon the kindness of strangers.

Myles Fynch
03-10-2011, 06:54 PM
Two broken hips with home-made casts... must have wreaked havoc on your sex life.

Ricky_Fan34
03-11-2011, 12:35 AM
So Humongous, have you been out in the bog recently?

Bumpus
03-11-2011, 10:51 AM
Did you get any of the Manning clan to sign your casts?

X-Pacolypse
03-11-2011, 10:18 PM
Well, I wonce had a been bag some years back. It used to be my mamas from back in the sixties? and she gifted it to me after i took a doosie of a tumble. The bathroom floor in the trailer had been rotting through on account of them leaky pipes? so when fateful day when I trotted in there to make my leavings, i done fell through the floor, and shattered both my hips under my own weight. well, it was powerful painful during the healing process, so mama was kind enuff to share her bean bag chair to help me more comftably convalesce? well, one day when mama and daddy was out at the saloon propositioning passers through for monies in exchange for naughty favors, they was arrested by a whaddya call them? undercover stingray opperation? I was left hom in the trailer with no help or food, unable to walk, on account of both my legs bein in homeade casts? well after a few hours, I had become ravenously hungry, sos I tore open that beanbag and ate all them raw beans inside! well, the ensuing results a that meal was some of the worst incontinence i done ever had. i was just layin there in a empty bean bag befouling myself with my own excrememt for days on end. And old dominion, the stench! ironically that stench was what alerted passers by to my predicament, and they was able to help me up between bouts of vomiting. i guess i always have relied upon the kindness of strangers.

Humongous, you truly are one trusting soul. You see the good in humanity, no matter the situation. That's quite an admirable quality. I hope the local authorities haven't been bothering you that much.

Hot4Peyton
03-15-2011, 08:31 AM
Humongous, you truly are one trusting soul. You see the good in humanity, no matter the situation. That's quite an admirable quality. I hope the local authorities haven't been bothering you that much.

Well, sheriff jergensens been harrasing me something dogged, on account of he suspects im runnin some kinda brothel here at the trailer. some local teenaged boys from the 4H club been sniffin around here lookin to loose they virginatees? well, i done shooed them off, cause i aint found no lost virginia tee shirts! and I sure aint seen no signs posted that theys lost in the first place! shoot! judas priest! these local kids would stoop to anything to get my priceless works of art! even create stories to get on mah property! i'm keepin daddys sawed off shotgun loaded with buckshot, ifn these little creeps come round again!

Ricky_Fan34
03-15-2011, 11:02 AM
Rough life, Humongous

X-Pacolypse
03-17-2011, 07:10 PM
Well, sheriff jergensens been harrasing me something dogged, on account of he suspects im runnin some kinda brothel here at the trailer. some local teenaged boys from the 4H club been sniffin around here lookin to loose they virginatees? well, i done shooed them off, cause i aint found no lost virginia tee shirts! and I sure aint seen no signs posted that theys lost in the first place! shoot! judas priest! these local kids would stoop to anything to get my priceless works of art! even create stories to get on mah property! i'm keepin daddys sawed off shotgun loaded with buckshot, ifn these little creeps come round again!

Well, I hate to hear that, Humongous. You should tell the sheriff not to come by your property unless he's got a search warrant.

Ricky_Fan34
03-17-2011, 08:16 PM
Well, I hate to hear that, Humongous. You should tell the sheriff not to come by your property unless he's got a search warrant.
or some little debbies

Myles Fynch
03-18-2011, 02:38 AM
Well, I hate to hear that, Humongous. You should tell the sheriff not to come by your property unless he's got a search warrant.

That depends. If she hasn't been frisked or endured the humiliation of a body cavity search in a while, getting a free squeeze from the men in blue might tickle her fancy.

X-Pacolypse
03-20-2011, 07:15 PM
Humongous, what are your thoughts on March Madness?

Hot4Peyton
03-21-2011, 08:08 AM
Humongous, what are your thoughts on March Madness?

well, in my trailer we always thought march madness was when mama shot the postman on account a she thought he was a mean injun, not one of them nice injuns like smiles a lot? see mama got real spooky when she was off her subscriptions, and she was gettin her kevin costner movies all mixed up.

Ricky_Fan34
03-21-2011, 03:08 PM
mama certainly sounds like she was quite a character.

Myles Fynch
03-21-2011, 03:32 PM
I bet Momma and H4P would make a tasty sandwich.

Hot4Peyton
03-23-2011, 09:28 AM
well, it looks like poor cousin jeb's been arrested fer poachin' scrotums. accordin to the game warden, cousin jeb's been sneakin into the pens at ol' farmer gordy's hog farm. dats where he'd been gettin all them ingredients for his award winning pickled hog testicle recipe? well, ol' farmer gordy never did mind too much, since most of them pigs was up for the slaughter anyhow, but this last time cousin jeb up and gelded the wrong hog! seems like cousin jeb had a few too many pine sol and tonics, and he accidentally snipped ol farmer gordy's prize pig, sir eisenhower? shoot, that pig was a celebrity round these parts! sir eisenhower took blue ribbon at the state fair 6 years runnin! i'd have given anythang ta shake hooves with that boar! dag it, cousin jeb, ya dumb dumb! he even had a chance at freedom ifn he was willing to give up his secret pickled hog's testicle recipe, but cousin jeb said that he would rather die. i sure am gonna miss sippin that salty savory brine from the bottom of them testicle containers! shoot.

Ricky_Fan34
03-23-2011, 11:09 AM
cousin jeb never can stay out of trouble, can he?

Myles Fynch
03-23-2011, 11:30 AM
Jeb's gotta be careful messing around with hog privates. There's where they got the swine flu from. My roommate at college was from the Ozarks, and he used to say "People poking things that shouldn't be poked... it just ain't right. Stick to your species I always say. Not as easy as it sounds, though." I never did figure out what he meant by the last part, but I had the neighbor watch our dog when he came to visit for Thanksgiving just in case.

Hot4Peyton
03-23-2011, 11:47 AM
Jeb's gotta be careful messing around with hog privates. There's where they got the swine flu from. My roommate at college was from the Ozarks, and he used to say "People poking things that shouldn't be poked... it just ain't right. Stick to your species I always say. Not as easy as it sounds, though." I never did figure out what he meant by the last part, but I had the neighbor watch our dog when he came to visit for Thanksgiving just in case.

well, that's some right sage advice, friend myles. daddy once got banned from all Defeated Baptist Church functions on account of him constantly laying with the beasts of the field? he sure was good with livestock. sometimes ol farmer gordy would ask him over to help keep the animals calm when he had his dress up parties in the barn. he was powerful good at it too, that's how daddy got the nickname, the mule whisperer. daddy'd come home every saturday night with a satchel full a quarters, but old dominion, did he stink something putrid!

Ricky_Fan34
03-23-2011, 03:16 PM
well, that's some right sage advice, friend myles. daddy once got banned from all Defeated Baptist Church functions on account of him constantly laying with the beasts of the field? he sure was good with livestock. sometimes ol farmer gordy would ask him over to help keep the animals calm when he had his dress up parties in the barn. he was powerful good at it too, that's how daddy got the nickname, the mule whisperer. daddy'd come home every saturday night with a satchel full a quarters, but old dominion, did he stink something putrid!
I must say, Your family certainly seems as if there is never a dull moment.

X-Pacolypse
03-23-2011, 06:47 PM
Oh, that Cousin Jeb. What will he do next?

X-Pacolypse
03-24-2011, 03:56 PM
well, in my trailer we always thought march madness was when mama shot the postman on account a she thought he was a mean injun, not one of them nice injuns like smiles a lot? see mama got real spooky when she was off her subscriptions, and she was gettin her kevin costner movies all mixed up.

How many "mean injuns" come by the trailer?

Bumpus
03-25-2011, 11:06 AM
well, it looks like poor cousin jeb's been arrested fer poachin' scrotums. accordin to the game warden, cousin jeb's been sneakin into the pens at ol' farmer gordy's hog farm. dats where he'd been gettin all them ingredients for his award winning pickled hog testicle recipe? well, ol' farmer gordy never did mind too much, since most of them pigs was up for the slaughter anyhow, but this last time cousin jeb up and gelded the wrong hog! seems like cousin jeb had a few too many pine sol and tonics, and he accidentally snipped ol farmer gordy's prize pig, sir eisenhower? shoot, that pig was a celebrity round these parts! sir eisenhower took blue ribbon at the state fair 6 years runnin! i'd have given anythang ta shake hooves with that boar! dag it, cousin jeb, ya dumb dumb! he even had a chance at freedom ifn he was willing to give up his secret pickled hog's testicle recipe, but cousin jeb said that he would rather die. i sure am gonna miss sippin that salty savory brine from the bottom of them testicle containers! shoot.

See ... that's his problem right there. You're supposed to drink pine sol with cranberry, not tonic.

X-Pacolypse
03-25-2011, 04:53 PM
I think these are the "smiling injuns" that mama likes.

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2011/03/ffpaxx04-1.jpg

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Myles Fynch
03-25-2011, 05:56 PM
We don't have any families like this on the East Coast. Closest I ever got to down home neighborly trailer park folks was when I got lost a few miles from Bumpus' campaign headquarters.

And I never thought to mix anything in Pine Sol. I just used it to clean the kitchen. Sure, if there was anything left I licked the cap, but who doesn't?

Hot4Peyton
04-07-2011, 09:14 AM
well, it looks like my beloved payton has got a restrainin order on me. i guess i done sent him too many sexual gifts in the mail. shoot, the last correspondence i sent him wasn't even a gift, it was a buisness proposal! as many of y'all all know, i have a very prominent "front butt", on account of my flesh folds coming together in the front to create the very erotic illusion of a hindquarters crack? well, i thought it would be real sexy like ifn you could wear like double thong bloomers, to seduce the quarterback in your life. i was hopin peytin would want to invest in my idea, seein as how im his biggest fan? well, i guess i have his answer, in the form of a cease n desist. what a big joker, i know deep down he loves me and all my sensual ideas! he probably just surrounded by a big group a dumb dumbs! shoot.

Ricky_Fan34
04-07-2011, 11:00 AM
clearly peyton doesn't know what's best for him.

Bumpus
04-07-2011, 01:31 PM
well, it looks like my beloved payton has got a restrainin order on me. i guess i done sent him too many sexual gifts in the mail. shoot, the last correspondence i sent him wasn't even a gift, it was a buisness proposal! as many of y'all all know, i have a very prominent "front butt", on account of my flesh folds coming together in the front to create the very erotic illusion of a hindquarters crack? well, i thought it would be real sexy like ifn you could wear like double thong bloomers, to seduce the quarterback in your life. i was hopin peytin would want to invest in my idea, seein as how im his biggest fan? well, i guess i have his answer, in the form of a cease n desist. what a big joker, i know deep down he loves me and all my sensual ideas! he probably just surrounded by a big group a dumb dumbs! shoot.

See, that's your problem ... you're sending it through the mail. What with the Unibomber and all, he's probably a'scaired to open his own mail. We all know assistants aren't worth squat, so he's probably never personally seeing the parcels you send him.

Try going in person. He can't deny his #1 fan in person, right? :up:

Hot4Peyton
04-07-2011, 01:52 PM
See, that's your problem ... you're sending it through the mail. What with the Unibomber and all, he's probably a'scaired to open his own mail. We all know assistants aren't worth squat, so he's probably never personally seeing the parcels you send him.

Try going in person. He can't deny his #1 fan in person, right? :up:

well, that sounds right conceivable, Friend Bumpus. I suppose it didnt help none that my new invention is called "Unibloomers"

Myles Fynch
04-07-2011, 03:11 PM
I think I'd try the trojan horse technique. H4P, mail yourself to him in the box from an entertainment center. He won't refuse it, he'll bring it inside to see which one of the 400 rooms in his house he'd like to put it in. Then you pop out of the box dancing in your unibloomers, and when the moment is right, drop them.

Foolproof.

fatkirstyalley
04-07-2011, 04:27 PM
Every since I first saw Payton take the field for the Tennessee vols, I knew I would only be happy if he were to make love to me. He could explore my flesh folds however he saw fit, and maybe Eli and they Daddy, Archie could help too.

I have an extensive collection of VHS tapes of all of Paytuns games from College and the pros. Every other wednesday on bath night, I pull the TV and VCR into the bathroom, and I watch Paytin in his tight pants while I warsh myself and my unmentionables. Sometimes I fall into steamy fantasy while I'm soakin in the tub . . .

I dream of The Manning family visiting me in my trailer, and I proudly show them all the toenail clippings I've saved over the years, and my kitty litter statuettes. They all love my collections, and my art. Then I make a big meal of bacon fried mac and cheese for my handsome guests. then we take the leftover bacon grease and they rub it all over my naked quivering figure. Archie instructs his sons to make sure and get plenty of grease in between my flesh folds for maximum criscofication. They both say, "yes daddy." Then all three proceed to degrease my supple frame with they audibleizing tongue muscles.

After that, all three handsome Mannings lay on my bed so I can smother them with my fleshly love. After I sufficiently crush all three of they skulls in the throes of my pelvic passions, I'll drag them to the living room and prop them up on the couch and have some little debbies and whole milk (it expired last week, but it's still good). I'll give them hair dos and put some of Mama's (RIP) eye makeup on them an make em look even more handsomer. We all four will live in my trailer forever, and the county wont come over no more with nasty letters bout too much trash in my yard. That's not trash, dum dums! It don't bother nobody none! Git off my proprty! I'll shoot chu in the dicks!

6872

I gotta tell ya....I piss my pants everytime I look at your avatar! Been meaning to tell you that. Good show!

X-Pacolypse
04-07-2011, 08:55 PM
well, it looks like my beloved payton has got a restrainin order on me. i guess i done sent him too many sexual gifts in the mail. shoot, the last correspondence i sent him wasn't even a gift, it was a buisness proposal! as many of y'all all know, i have a very prominent "front butt", on account of my flesh folds coming together in the front to create the very erotic illusion of a hindquarters crack? well, i thought it would be real sexy like ifn you could wear like double thong bloomers, to seduce the quarterback in your life. i was hopin peytin would want to invest in my idea, seein as how im his biggest fan? well, i guess i have his answer, in the form of a cease n desist. what a big joker, i know deep down he loves me and all my sensual ideas! he probably just surrounded by a big group a dumb dumbs! shoot.

Peyton Manning may have great field vision, but he clearly can't see what a catch Humongous is.

X-Pacolypse
04-12-2011, 09:33 PM
Humongous, do you think you bust out some dance moves like this?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY0xgRA_Sk0&feature=fvwrel

Myles Fynch
04-12-2011, 09:42 PM
I think my dinner just busted out onto the floor.

Hot4Peyton
04-13-2011, 03:06 PM
I think I'd try the trojan horse technique. H4P, mail yourself to him in the box from an entertainment center. He won't refuse it, he'll bring it inside to see which one of the 400 rooms in his house he'd like to put it in. Then you pop out of the box dancing in your unibloomers, and when the moment is right, drop them.

Foolproof.

well, im not sure about the trojan horse technique, Friend Myles, it brings up too many unpleasant memories. daddy always used to say that them Greeks is nothin but a bunch of zeus worshipin mathholes? he was just cross cause mama got arrested for shootin a police horse, on account of her tryin to extract the Greeks? well, daddy reasoned that mama wouldna shot the dang horse, if the dang Greeks wasnt always tryin ta crawl up inside the dang horses! shoot, i think he mighta been right, but Judge Twibble didna agree. he sentenced mama to 6 mponths a community service pickin up garbage on tha innerstate? well, jokes on Judge Twibble, cause we been fillin the trailer with garbage from the innerstate for years prior, so it was no big change.

Ricky_Fan34
04-13-2011, 03:10 PM
well, im not sure about the trojan horse technique, Friend Myles, it brings up too many unpleasant memories. daddy always used to say that them Greeks is nothin but a bunch of zeus worshipin mathholes? he was just cross cause mama got arrested for shootin a police horse, on account of her tryin to extract the Greeks? well, daddy reasoned that mama wouldna shot the dang horse, if the dang Greeks wasnt always tryin ta crawl up inside the dang horses! shoot, i think he mighta been right, but Judge Twibble didna agree. he sentenced mama to 6 mponths a community service pickin up garbage on tha innerstate? well, jokes on Judge Twibble, cause we been fillin the trailer with garbage from the innerstate for years prior, so it was no big change.
you have a problem with people who are associated with Zeus? Team WeVie is supported by Zeus

X-Pacolypse
04-17-2011, 03:18 PM
Humongous, what are your plans for Easter?

Hot4Peyton
04-20-2011, 12:02 PM
Humongous, what are your plans for Easter?

well, ill be doin my same old easter festivities liken i do every spring. ill be whippin up my famous Easter Yeast Cakes, made with my very own yeast! the trick is, every year for Lent, I give up one of my favorite creature comforts -- bath night? well, as you can imagine, without that weekly soakin, the organic accumulates within my fleshfolds really begin to cultivate a life of they own. in fact, i could feel the yeast churnin within my folds in a specific pattern? by gum, i coulda sworn they was tryin to communicate with me! well, this easter sunday can't get here soon enough, cause i think that dern yeast has evolved a sort of telepathy, and is speakin to me through my mind? makin my dreams powerful sureal! well, this years easter yeast cakes is gonna be the best ever, since them organic accumulates have developed a higher inteligence? shoot, eatin em might even make me smarter!

Bumpus
04-20-2011, 05:22 PM
Ever seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers? :lol:

I'll wager the yeast makes a bid for control.

X-Pacolypse
04-20-2011, 06:16 PM
Ever seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers? :lol:

I'll wager the yeast makes a bid for control.

The yeast has become "self aware."

X-Pacolypse
04-24-2011, 06:39 PM
Humongous, did all the kin folk enjoy your Easter Yeast Cakes?

Bumpus
04-24-2011, 08:26 PM
Humongous, did all the kin folk enjoy your Easter Yeast Cakes?

Clearly, as we feared, the yeast has taken possession of her cloven arse.


Humongous isn't here
http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2011/04/tumblr_l9u7wmPLWn1qbdgk6o1_500-1.gif
Mrs. Torrence

Adam First
04-24-2011, 09:32 PM
I can't believe this thread is still up

DphinBillkiller
04-24-2011, 09:42 PM
I guess that made for a very Happy Yeaster! :chuckle:

Hot4Peyton
04-26-2011, 08:38 AM
Humongous, did all the kin folk enjoy your Easter Yeast Cakes?

well, it was a downright easter hootinanny! dr. tittleman stopped by with his new mistress. she had pretty severe bell's palsy, so dr. tittleman spent most of the day massagin her feets in between heapin helpins of easter yeast cakes. he was quite complimentary of the spiced oppsum meats i stuffed them cakes with. poor cousin jeb couldnt make it to the celebration on account of he still locked up. which is downright inconvienient, on account of my cyst bein due for another lancin -- and sure enough this changing weather got it pulsating an throbbin somethin holocaustic! i hope y'all all had a fine yeaster day too -- and didna get too much harrassment from yalls local sheriff jergensens. dag, i hate that guy.

Hot4Peyton
05-16-2011, 09:31 AM
well, Im downright tired today. last night i was repeatedly awoken by my own hindquarters trumpeting like a lonely elephant? the only reason i was able to sleep at all was on account of my bedroom being filled with methane gasses seeping from my back butt. my head became all swimmy from the lack of oxygen, and I couldn't open the window on account of daddy (RIP) nailin dem all shut to protect the trailer from roving gangs of puerto ricans? shoot, armadillo meat sure makes a gal gassy! A lot of them little critters been drownin in the bog, sos i make the best of the meat with some expired tartar sauce. i also enjoy fashioning hats outta they rotting carapaces? but it gives me the leprosy something fierce!

Bumpus
05-16-2011, 11:36 AM
well, Im downright tired today. last night i was repeatedly awoken by my own hindquarters trumpeting like a lonely elephant? the only reason i was able to sleep at all was on account of my bedroom being filled with methane gasses seeping from my back butt. my head became all swimmy from the lack of oxygen, and I couldn't open the window on account of daddy (RIP) nailin dem all shut to protect the trailer from roving gangs of puerto ricans? shoot, armadillo meat sure makes a gal gassy! A lot of them little critters been drownin in the bog, sos i make the best of the meat with some expired tartar sauce. i also enjoy fashioning hats outta they rotting carapaces? but it gives me the leprosy something fierce!

Now you're leaking body parts all over Defeated, Tennessee???

Ricky_Fan34
05-16-2011, 03:14 PM
well, Im downright tired today. last night i was repeatedly awoken by my own hindquarters trumpeting like a lonely elephant? the only reason i was able to sleep at all was on account of my bedroom being filled with methane gasses seeping from my back butt. my head became all swimmy from the lack of oxygen, and I couldn't open the window on account of daddy (RIP) nailin dem all shut to protect the trailer from roving gangs of puerto ricans? shoot, armadillo meat sure makes a gal gassy! A lot of them little critters been drownin in the bog, sos i make the best of the meat with some expired tartar sauce. i also enjoy fashioning hats outta they rotting carapaces? but it gives me the leprosy something fierce!
Perhaps dr. tittleman could help.

Bumpus
05-16-2011, 06:32 PM
Perhaps dr. tittleman could help.

Not if her cloven hooves have fallen off.

X-Pacolypse
06-02-2011, 07:24 PM
Humongous, how was your Memorial Day weekend?

Hot4Peyton
06-03-2011, 08:54 AM
well, memorial day was always something of confusing time around the trailer. daddy (RIP) served in the military during the Vietnamese war? he loved the jungle, and enjoyed making salads out of all the exotic plants and fungi he found. well, he musta ate the wrong thing one day, cause he up and lost his thinking, and ended up fighting on the side of the Vietcong? they even gave him a medal on account of he could dig the best holes for tunnels. shoot daddy! well, daddy was finally taken prisoner when an american platoon found him in confusion trying to court a water bison -- he was almost successful to boot, but one of them overzealous young privates shot that poor bison. daddy said that his broken heart fixed his broken mind, and he was able to return home with a dishonorable discharge. the army even gave daddy some money ifn he promised not to talk to the press about his military career? daddy used that very hush money as a down payment on the trailer!

X-Pacolypse
06-03-2011, 10:39 PM
well, memorial day was always something of confusing time around the trailer. daddy (RIP) served in the military during the Vietnamese war? he loved the jungle, and enjoyed making salads out of all the exotic plants and fungi he found. well, he musta ate the wrong thing one day, cause he up and lost his thinking, and ended up fighting on the side of the Vietcong? they even gave him a medal on account of he could dig the best holes for tunnels. shoot daddy! well, daddy was finally taken prisoner when an american platoon found him in confusion trying to court a water bison -- he was almost successful to boot, but one of them overzealous young privates shot that poor bison. daddy said that his broken heart fixed his broken mind, and he was able to return home with a dishonorable discharge. the army even gave daddy some money ifn he promised not to talk to the press about his military career? daddy used that very hush money as a down payment on the trailer!

Is that the trailer you still call home, Humongous?

X-Pacolypse
06-06-2011, 10:58 PM
Humongous, are you ready for the summer? I remember you saying you were trying to lose a few pounds to get ready for bikini season down by the bog.

Bumpus
06-06-2011, 11:02 PM
Humongous, are you ready for the summer? I remember you saying you were trying to lose a few pounds to get ready for bikini season down by the bog.

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2011/06/Vomit-1.gif

Ricky_Fan34
06-06-2011, 11:23 PM
So what's been going on with cousin jeb recently? Having heard stories about him, I know he's gotten into some kind of trouble recently.

Hot4Peyton
06-07-2011, 09:00 AM
Is that the trailer you still call home, Humongous?

uh huh, its the very same one, Friend X-Pacolypse. the land itself has been in the family fer generations. Great Grandaddy took the land offn a Shawnee injun? they say great grandaddy was a shrewd negotiator, and pretty handy with a sharpened deer antler after a few quaffs of the moonshine? family legend say that great grandaddy took advantage of a shawnee loophole what says you cant shed blood on sacred land? well he stabbed that shawnee chief right in the dick with his lucky antler, and took our little strip of bogside paridise fro himself and future kin! they sahwnee kept tryin to reclaim they sacred land through non-violent means, but great grand daddy just kept stabbin them in the dicks whenever they came by. shoot, the bureau of indian affairs say that my great grandaddy was responsible for a sharp decline in shawnee birthrates from all the dick stabbin.

Ricky_Fan34
06-07-2011, 10:59 AM
uh huh, its the very same one, Friend X-Pacolypse. the land itself has been in the family fer generations. Great Grandaddy took the land offn a Shawnee injun? they say great grandaddy was a shrewd negotiator, and pretty handy with a sharpened deer antler after a few quaffs of the moonshine? family legend say that great grandaddy took advantage of a shawnee loophole what says you cant shed blood on sacred land? well he stabbed that shawnee chief right in the dick with his lucky antler, and took our little strip of bogside paridise fro himself and future kin! they sahwnee kept tryin to reclaim they sacred land through non-violent means, but great grand daddy just kept stabbin them in the dicks whenever they came by. shoot, the bureau of indian affairs say that my great grandaddy was responsible for a sharp decline in shawnee birthrates from all the dick stabbin.
I don't doubt it. It's no wonder he had such a battle with them, bogside trailers must be hard to come by.

X-Pacolypse
06-07-2011, 11:54 PM
uh huh, its the very same one, Friend X-Pacolypse. the land itself has been in the family fer generations. Great Grandaddy took the land offn a Shawnee injun? they say great grandaddy was a shrewd negotiator, and pretty handy with a sharpened deer antler after a few quaffs of the moonshine? family legend say that great grandaddy took advantage of a shawnee loophole what says you cant shed blood on sacred land? well he stabbed that shawnee chief right in the dick with his lucky antler, and took our little strip of bogside paridise fro himself and future kin! they sahwnee kept tryin to reclaim they sacred land through non-violent means, but great grand daddy just kept stabbin them in the dicks whenever they came by. shoot, the bureau of indian affairs say that my great grandaddy was responsible for a sharp decline in shawnee birthrates from all the dick stabbin.

That's some story. Seems like Great Grandaddy wasn't someone you wanted to trifle with.

X-Pacolypse
06-15-2011, 11:46 PM
Humongous, got any big plans for Father's Day?

Bumpus
06-16-2011, 12:28 AM
Humongous, got any big plans for Father's Day?

Perhaps, pouring a little Pine-Sol by his grave marker?

Hot4Peyton
06-16-2011, 08:23 AM
Perhaps, pouring a little Pine-Sol by his grave marker?

well, you hit the opossum on the head, friend Bumpus. every fathers day, I slather myself up with bacon grease, squeeze through the front door of the trailer, and waddle down to the compost heap where dear daddy lies? first i song him some soothing lyrics from his favorite Lipps Incorporated song (Hint: It aint Funky town). Then I mix him up a Pine Sol, Mr. Clean and Murphy's Oil Soap cocktail -- a drink he'd only have on special occasions? I mix it all up in his old Vietcong issued canteen, and gently pour it onto his shallow grave. then, naturally, i ritualistically sacrifice 3 live raccoon fetuses, and set they corpses on fire in a bed of dried catfish whiskers and goat dung? the foul odors are said to spirit away the soul to heaven. well, happy fathers day to you and yours, freinds!

Hot4Peyton
06-24-2011, 10:04 AM
well, i think Ima do a little house cleanin. we have this purdy ornamental rug in the trailer before the cats tore it to shreds, and covered it with offal. some years back, Daddy (RIP) had polished off a bottle and a half of Windex, and he got a hankerin for some Sesame Street Chickens? So he went into town to the fancy Chinamin eatery for to pick some up? but when the waiter came out to give him his order, daddy up and had a vietnam flashback, and yanked the rug out from under him. That poor chinamin suffered 2nd degree burns on his face from the eggdrop soup what spilled on him? well, daddy decided to keep that ornamental rug to help ward off roving bands of chinamin and puerto ricans. Its all scratched up and tattered now, and covered in feline leavins, but I think it's workin, on account a I aint never seen no ornamental folks round these parts. So maybe I'll keep it around, ya think?

X-Pacolypse
07-01-2011, 01:51 AM
well, i think Ima do a little house cleanin. we have this purdy ornamental rug in the trailer before the cats tore it to shreds, and covered it with offal. some years back, Daddy (RIP) had polished off a bottle and a half of Windex, and he got a hankerin for some Sesame Street Chickens? So he went into town to the fancy Chinamin eatery for to pick some up? but when the waiter came out to give him his order, daddy up and had a vietnam flashback, and yanked the rug out from under him. That poor chinamin suffered 2nd degree burns on his face from the eggdrop soup what spilled on him? well, daddy decided to keep that ornamental rug to help ward off roving bands of chinamin and puerto ricans. Its all scratched up and tattered now, and covered in feline leavins, but I think it's workin, on account a I aint never seen no ornamental folks round these parts. So maybe I'll keep it around, ya think?

You can't argue with those results.

Hot4Peyton
07-14-2011, 09:24 AM
well, them American Pickers came by the trailer to sift through all my treasures I keep piled in my yard? at first I was reluctant to let them strangers on my property, but that skinny one was real persistent like. I had Daddy's (RIP) sawed-off scatter gun just outta sight, ifn one of them boys tried any funny business -- the fat one with the beard had a lustful look in his eye, when I caught him staring at my front butt? Trouble is, I'm fresh outta buckshot since I went raccoon huntin, but I kept it handy nonetheless. well, them boys got right to pickin. At first, the fat one had an especial interest in my old oil cans I like to store my toenail clippings and urine in? Hoowee, he lost interest after he opened the first one! The skinny geek kept askin me about what was in my shed what mama (RIP) used to chain me up in when I got ornery. I screeched and squeeled at him not ta open it! But he did anyways, and as soon as he did, an avalanche of old kitty litter came a crashin down on him. what a dumb dumb, he was covered in old sick cat leavings what was getting in his mouth and eyes? and he was dry heaving and yellin at his camera man to, "cut! cut!" well, I had about enough of them two pickers at that point, so I started huckin my used adult diapers at them sos they would vacate my property! I splashed the fat one right in the face, Praise God! It was a fresh loaf still steaming toboot! And his beard was all covered with my back butt leavings. Boy Howdy, was he cussin something rabid! That'll learn those History Channel eggheads to quit poking they noses where they aint welcome! __________________

DisturbedShifty
07-14-2011, 09:45 AM
I only read the first paragraph, and I gota know. Did that account get hacked? Or was it created to just troll?

Hot4Peyton
07-14-2011, 10:04 AM
I only read the first paragraph, and I gota know. Did that account get hacked? Or was it created to just troll?

are you asking me out?

DisturbedShifty
07-14-2011, 10:12 AM
Yep, troll account.

X-Pacolypse
07-16-2011, 12:45 PM
well, them American Pickers came by the trailer to sift through all my treasures I keep piled in my yard? at first I was reluctant to let them strangers on my property, but that skinny one was real persistent like. I had Daddy's (RIP) sawed-off scatter gun just outta sight, ifn one of them boys tried any funny business -- the fat one with the beard had a lustful look in his eye, when I caught him staring at my front butt? Trouble is, I'm fresh outta buckshot since I went raccoon huntin, but I kept it handy nonetheless. well, them boys got right to pickin. At first, the fat one had an especial interest in my old oil cans I like to store my toenail clippings and urine in? Hoowee, he lost interest after he opened the first one! The skinny geek kept askin me about what was in my shed what mama (RIP) used to chain me up in when I got ornery. I screeched and squeeled at him not ta open it! But he did anyways, and as soon as he did, an avalanche of old kitty litter came a crashin down on him. what a dumb dumb, he was covered in old sick cat leavings what was getting in his mouth and eyes? and he was dry heaving and yellin at his camera man to, "cut! cut!" well, I had about enough of them two pickers at that point, so I started huckin my used adult diapers at them sos they would vacate my property! I splashed the fat one right in the face, Praise God! It was a fresh loaf still steaming toboot! And his beard was all covered with my back butt leavings. Boy Howdy, was he cussin something rabid! That'll learn those History Channel eggheads to quit poking they noses where they aint welcome! __________________

My goodness, Humongous. That's quite an adventure, I think that's one episode of American Pickers that I'm definately not going to want to miss!

X-Pacolypse
07-16-2011, 12:46 PM
are you asking me out?

I think he's a come courtin', Humongous.

Bumpus
07-16-2011, 02:37 PM
He'd better bring a bunch of little debbies.

Bumpus
08-09-2011, 01:29 AM
Methinks the bog finally got her. :(

Hot4Peyton
08-09-2011, 08:11 AM
Methinks the bog finally got her. :(

well, the bog has been especiaaly fragrant as of late. Theys this new breed of freshwater stink fish what mutated, and started warshin up on the bogshore and decomposin? Theys must be schoollin in the hundreds. Hoowee, the reek! Henry Choi, from the Northern Korean restaurant in town keeps coming by the bog to scoop up them stink fish corpses and haul em off in a big stinky satchel. He comes by every morning, and I yell, "Hey Mister Miyagi, get off property!" and I brandish Daddy's (RIP) collectable samurai sword? it's just an empty gesture though, cause I don't really mind, him takin them dead stink fish aways.

Bumpus
08-09-2011, 02:30 PM
well, the bog has been especiaaly fragrant as of late. Theys this new breed of freshwater stink fish what mutated, and started warshin up on the bogshore and decomposin? Theys must be schoollin in the hundreds. Hoowee, the reek! Henry Choi, from the Northern Korean restaurant in town keeps coming by the bog to scoop up them stink fish corpses and haul em off in a big stinky satchel. He comes by every morning, and I yell, "Hey Mister Miyagi, get off property!" and I brandish Daddy's (RIP) collectable samurai sword? it's just an empty gesture though, cause I don't really mind, him takin them dead stink fish aways.

Wait, you mean to say that there's a resource from the bog you don't treasure?!?

Imagine how nice they'd look (all preserved-like) next to your cat-leavings sculptures.


BTW ... Good to see Swamp Thing didn't get ya. :up:

X-Pacolypse
08-13-2011, 03:17 AM
Wait, you mean to say that there's a resource from the bog you don't treasure?!?

Imagine how nice they'd look (all preserved-like) next to your cat-leavings sculptures.


BTW ... Good to see Swamp Thing didn't get ya. :up:

I don't think anything could contain Humongous at this point.

Hot4Peyton
08-15-2011, 08:12 AM
Wait, you mean to say that there's a resource from the bog you don't treasure?!?

Imagine how nice they'd look (all preserved-like) next to your cat-leavings sculptures.


BTW ... Good to see Swamp Thing didn't get ya. :up:

well, that's a right creative idea, friend bumpus! ima try it today. i just finished off a cat litter sculpture of peytin manning smashing thom brady in the crotch with one of them medieval morning stars? well, i could descale some of them stink fish, and use them to make some shiny, fish scale armor for my heroic mini Peyton! thanks for the inspiration, friend bumpus! have you considered becoming a art student at The Defeated, Tennessee Community Adult Learning Annex?

Bumpus
08-15-2011, 08:33 AM
well, that's a right creative idea, friend bumpus! ima try it today. i just finished off a cat litter sculpture of peytin manning smashing thom brady in the crotch with one of them medieval morning stars? well, i could descale some of them stink fish, and use them to make some shiny, fish scale armor for my heroic mini Peyton! thanks for the inspiration, friend bumpus! have you considered becoming a art student at The Defeated, Tennessee Community Adult Learning Annex?

Glad you found inspiration in my mindless ramblings. :up:



Alas - Defeated, TN is a powerful long walk from Wheeling.

However, we do have the WVNCC Thundering Chickens (WV Northern Community College) :)

X-Pacolypse
08-20-2011, 07:57 PM
Glad you found inspiration in my mindless ramblings. :up:



Alas - Defeated, TN is a powerful long walk from Wheeling.

However, we do have the WVNCC Thundering Chickens (WV Northern Community College) :)

Yeah, but it's not the "learnin' annex" in Defeated, TN. America's best and brightest have walked those hallowed halls.