PDA

View Full Version : Henning taking his game to Oakland



randomname
05-24-2011, 04:31 PM
According to my sources, Dan Henning and Al Davis hooked up over the weekend in Oakland.




Apparently they had game matters to discuss and went out to Ye Olde Pub to get down to the details. Sipping a frosty mug of prune juice, Henning stared at the table in front of him, deep in thought. "Time out!" he called as Davis urged him to speed it up for the 10th time already. Sighing, Davis wheeled himself off to the gentlemen's room in his turbo-boosted wheelchair as Henning pondered his dilemma. Choices, choices, choices.

As Davis emerged and began heading back to their table, Henning decided to try something unconventional, moving his rook up one space to be even with his line of pawns. "Perfect, perfect" he thought, imagining the look on Al Davis' ugly mug when he would surely make a mistake and take that pawn sitting right next to Henning's rook in a fit of senility. Al Davis toasted his own mug, filled with a dark smelly concoction with satanic symbols trailing down the side, before moving his queen in for the kill on Henning's row of pawns.

"WHAT'S THIS?" Henning exclaimed, horrified realization dawning on him that Al Davis was cunning enough to take a pawn OTHER than the one sitting right next to his deadly rook.

"CHECK MATE!" Al Davis sneered. "CHECKMATE IN FOUR MOVES!" He chuckled "Now that's how I like my chess, faster than Chris Johnson getting a return touchdown for my Raiders in Madden 2011!"

Henning, of course, couldn't believe his eyes. What the hell did those pawns think they were doing? Just letting Davis' queen walk RIGHT through them and sack his king like that? The opposing queen was literally sitting right beside two of Henning's pawns and they were STANDING THERE doing NOTHING. How the hell can you win a game of chess when your pieces DO NOT EXECUTE PROPERLY? But it wasn't just the pawns, the knights were off in their own little worlds as well, all of them being too far away to help the situation. The rooks complained that they couldn't help with pieces in the way, and the bishop closest to the action expected Henning to believe he couldn't even take one single step forward and block Davis' oncoming queen. "It's impossible" he muttered "trying to win a game with these pieces". "It can't be done"






P.S. My sources may or may not be comprised of a tiger, a cowardly lion, and a talking raisin that I've known since childhood and only talk to me.

Tunaphish429
05-24-2011, 05:12 PM
According to my sources, Dan Henning and Al Davis hooked up over the weekend in Oakland.




Apparently they had game matters to discuss and went out to Ye Olde Pub to get down to the details. Sipping a frosty mug of prune juice, Henning stared at the table in front of him, deep in thought. "Time out!" he called as Davis urged him to speed it up for the 10th time already. Sighing, Davis wheeled himself off to the gentlemen's room in his turbo-boosted wheelchair as Henning pondered his dilemma. Choices, choices, choices.

As Davis emerged and began heading back to their table, Henning decided to try something unconventional, moving his rook up one space to be even with his line of pawns. "Perfect, perfect" he thought, imagining the look on Al Davis' ugly mug when he would surely make a mistake and take that pawn sitting right next to Henning's rook in a fit of senility. Al Davis toasted his own mug, filled with a dark smelly concoction with satanic symbols trailing down the side, before moving his queen in for the kill on Henning's row of pawns.

"WHAT'S THIS?" Henning exclaimed, horrified realization dawning on him that Al Davis was cunning enough to take a pawn OTHER than the one sitting right next to his deadly rook.

"CHECK MATE!" Al Davis sneered. "CHECKMATE IN FOUR MOVES!" He chuckled "Now that's how I like my chess, faster than Chris Johnson getting a return touchdown for my Raiders in Madden 2011!"

Henning, of course, couldn't believe his eyes. What the hell did those pawns think they were doing? Just letting Davis' queen walk RIGHT through them and sack his king like that? The opposing queen was literally sitting right beside two of Henning's pawns and they were STANDING THERE doing NOTHING. How the hell can you win a game of chess when your pieces DO NOT EXECUTE PROPERLY? But it wasn't just the pawns, the knights were off in their own little worlds as well, all of them being too far away to help the situation. The rooks complained that they couldn't help with pieces in the way, and the bishop closest to the action expected Henning to believe he couldn't even take one single step forward and block Davis' oncoming queen. "It's impossible" he muttered "trying to win a game with these pieces". "It can't be done"






P.S. My sources may or may not be comprised of a tiger, a cowardly lion, and a talking raisin that I've known since childhood and only talk to me.

davis himself could call better plays

Cali Finfan
05-24-2011, 05:50 PM
LMAO, Al Davis's dementia must really be kicking in if he thinks Henning is going to help their offense.

LANGER72
05-24-2011, 06:51 PM
Henning is the anti Al Davis.
Davis likes an exciting long ball offense.
Henning likes to set up reverses on 3rd and 20 while in field goal range.

Arsenal WV
05-25-2011, 05:33 AM
According to my sources, Dan Henning and Al Davis hooked up over the weekend in Oakland.




Apparently they had game matters to discuss and went out to Ye Olde Pub to get down to the details. Sipping a frosty mug of prune juice, Henning stared at the table in front of him, deep in thought. "Time out!" he called as Davis urged him to speed it up for the 10th time already. Sighing, Davis wheeled himself off to the gentlemen's room in his turbo-boosted wheelchair as Henning pondered his dilemma. Choices, choices, choices.

As Davis emerged and began heading back to their table, Henning decided to try something unconventional, moving his rook up one space to be even with his line of pawns. "Perfect, perfect" he thought, imagining the look on Al Davis' ugly mug when he would surely make a mistake and take that pawn sitting right next to Henning's rook in a fit of senility. Al Davis toasted his own mug, filled with a dark smelly concoction with satanic symbols trailing down the side, before moving his queen in for the kill on Henning's row of pawns.

"WHAT'S THIS?" Henning exclaimed, horrified realization dawning on him that Al Davis was cunning enough to take a pawn OTHER than the one sitting right next to his deadly rook.

"CHECK MATE!" Al Davis sneered. "CHECKMATE IN FOUR MOVES!" He chuckled "Now that's how I like my chess, faster than Chris Johnson getting a return touchdown for my Raiders in Madden 2011!"

Henning, of course, couldn't believe his eyes. What the hell did those pawns think they were doing? Just letting Davis' queen walk RIGHT through them and sack his king like that? The opposing queen was literally sitting right beside two of Henning's pawns and they were STANDING THERE doing NOTHING. How the hell can you win a game of chess when your pieces DO NOT EXECUTE PROPERLY? But it wasn't just the pawns, the knights were off in their own little worlds as well, all of them being too far away to help the situation. The rooks complained that they couldn't help with pieces in the way, and the bishop closest to the action expected Henning to believe he couldn't even take one single step forward and block Davis' oncoming queen. "It's impossible" he muttered "trying to win a game with these pieces". "It can't be done"






P.S. My sources may or may not be comprised of a tiger, a cowardly lion, and a talking raisin that I've known since childhood and only talk to me.

they hooked up? two old sets of balls touching each other, ever so gentley...gross...

dolpns13
05-25-2011, 09:14 AM
Wait.. is Henning Oaklands OC now???
LMAO, Al Davis's dementia must really be kicking in if he thinks Henning is going to help their offense.

Bumpus
05-25-2011, 09:31 AM
LMAO, Al Davis's dementia must really be kicking in if he thinks Henning is going to help their offense.

:bobdole: @ people taking this seriously.


... off to the Lounge with this thread. :up: