View Full Version : 20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day

02-14-2012, 11:52 AM

WASHINGTON—Flushed with anticipation and ready to emerge from another long, cold winter, millions of Americans participated this week in the annual tradition of trimming their pubic regions in time for Valentine's Day.

A ritual as old as time itself, this year's pubis-shearing is expected to be among the largest in decades, with more than 20,000 tons of curly clippings predicted to fall by Feb. 14.

"My boyfriend and I are going to see As You Like It and then enjoy a nice candlelit three-course dinner," said Brooklyn resident Lydia Simonson, who along with many other hopeful lovers will soon excuse herself from her daily duties, retreat to a nearby bathroom, and carefully tend to the area around her genitalia. "It's going to be so romantic!"

Indeed, tiny scissors and electric razors have already begun to fly off drugstore shelves, while all across the country legs are dangling precariously over open bathtub drains. According to statistics from the National Depilatory Council, the week before Valentine's Day is by far the busiest time of the year for shaving, trimming, sculpting, playful pattern-making, waxing, and even manscaping.


02-14-2012, 12:44 PM
40 millions pounds of pubic hair!!! Reminds me of an ADC nursery rhyme:

Mary, Mary quite contrary,
Shave that bush it's so damn hairy!

02-14-2012, 05:42 PM
Get yo pubes up!