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View Full Version : why do people say "Congrats!!!" when a person is having a child out of wedlock?



dreday
03-16-2012, 12:28 PM
especially when they are very young. how stupid are people? do people realize children are extremely expensive? do people not realize that it isnt a a puppy? where are the parents that tell them that this isnt ok?

PhinzN703
03-16-2012, 01:55 PM
So if two 27 year olds are having a kid and aren't married, this is a problem for you?

Tunaphish429
03-16-2012, 01:57 PM
Out of wedlock means nothing to me..and really should mean nothing to anyone else..

If your like 16 and are having kids its a bad thing...But its kind of akward...but really what are you suppose to say?

Are you suppose to be rude about it? Honeslty its none of your concern.

But feel free to talk behind their back.

dreday
03-16-2012, 02:06 PM
So if two 27 year olds are having a kid and aren't married, this is a problem for you?

if they are broke and not raising the kid together,i dont see how this benefits anyone.

dreday
03-16-2012, 02:08 PM
Out of wedlock means nothing to me..and really should mean nothing to anyone else..

If your like 16 and are having kids its a bad thing...But its kind of akward...but really what are you suppose to say?

Are you suppose to be rude about it? Honeslty its none of your concern.

But feel free to talk behind their back.

nothing about being rude or talking behind anyones back.if a person is that worried about it they shouldnt be having a child.im just not sure whats so congratulatory about having a kid out of wedlock.

Nappy Roots
03-16-2012, 02:12 PM
People say congrats because a child is a blessing. And because how dumb is it to say "oh that sucks"...

Im 25 and have a kid on the way out of wedlock. Being married so old fashion to me. Im sure ill get married at some point. But its a new world. It doesnt mean the same

dreday
03-16-2012, 02:22 PM
People say congrats because a child is a blessing. And because how dumb is it to say "oh that sucks"...

Im 25 and have a kid on the way out of wedlock. Being married so old fashion to me. Im sure ill get married at some point. But its a new world. It doesnt mean the same

im not putting emphasis on what someone might say thats negative.as long as you and the mother can bring the child up to be responsible and productive then im all for it.

however imo i think raising the child under one roof would be a good start.thats me though.

dreday
03-16-2012, 02:27 PM
besides,my parents had me when they were 20 and 21.so age is not something im really focusing on.they never divorced.i have a brother and sister...

and look how i turned out.

Locke
03-16-2012, 03:04 PM
I used to say congrats, but only because I was happy that there was one less dude competing for single girls at the bars I'd go to. Now that I'm married, I don't a **** either way...

NY8123
03-16-2012, 03:32 PM
especially when they are very young. how stupid are people? do people realize children are extremely expensive? do people not realize that it isnt a a puppy? where are the parents that tell them that this isnt ok?

Well you can't say "I'll take that little ****er out back and put it down when it comes out for ya".

dreday
03-16-2012, 04:00 PM
Well you can't say "I'll take that little ****er out back and put it down when it comes out for ya".

i have in the past,and some of em have deserved it trust this...EDIT:some of the already born and little ones.

PhinzN703
03-16-2012, 04:33 PM
if they are broke and not raising the kid together,i dont see how this benefits anyone.

True but what does that have to do with whether they are married or not?

dreday
03-16-2012, 04:42 PM
True but what does that have to do with whether they are married or not?

like i said,i think you put yourself in a better position to raise kids to the betterment of society when you are married versus not.of course this is my opinion and many others.

Bumpus
03-16-2012, 04:49 PM
Maybe it's out of relief that it's not theirs???

dreday
03-16-2012, 04:50 PM
True but what does that have to do with whether they are married or not?

is it that taboo in america to have kids and be married?

X-Pacolypse
03-16-2012, 11:13 PM
Two words. Planned Parenthood.

Fin Fan in Cali
03-17-2012, 12:59 AM
is it that taboo in america to have kids and be married?Bro I understand where you are coming from and your thoughts. Today is different than when you and I were probably brought up. The child had nothing to do with the decision making at the time they were conceived. I would say congrats for there birth. I have seen it both ways. I know of a couple that aren't married living together that love there child like no ones business. I have seen married couples together where one of the two is a great parent, and the other you scratch your head. I have also head some good friends of ours say marriages usually last because of the kids. My wife and I were not fortunate to have kids and have been together this year, 20 years. I love my nieces and nephew and there kids. I have said to my wife that I wish they had waited a little longer, but that is just me. I love them just the same.

dreday
03-17-2012, 01:27 AM
Bro I understand where you are coming from and your thoughts. Today is different than when you and I were probably brought up. The child had nothing to do with the decision making at the time they were conceived. I would say congrats for there birth. I have seen it both ways. I know of a couple that aren't married living together that love there child like no ones business. I have seen married couples together where one of the two is a great parent, and the other you scratch your head. I have also head some good friends of ours say marriages usually last because of the kids. My wife and I were not fortunate to have kids and have been together this year, 20 years. I love my nieces and nephew and there kids. I have said to my wife that I wish they had waited a little longer, but that is just me. I love them just the same.

i hear you FFIC and i appreciate the post.my lady and i haven't had any children yet,but we have decided that now is a good time,as we have the financial means,and now feel we will be able to give everything to the child that it will need.

i just think its unfortunate when a teenager or for that matter any woman either chooses to, or simply just isn't being responsible.then there are those that get preggo on purpose to get government assistance.these female headed households aren't necessarily producing well equipped people.we, (wifey and i), have payed close attention to the kids that were raised by single mothers and the ones raised by both parents,and come to the conclusion that two parents are better than one.
thats really my point.my 17 year old niece just had a baby, and man is she realizing reality,but we all still love her and the baby.

its real simple to me,if you know you shouldn't be or don't want any kids, use birth control.it'll save you a lot of time and money.plus its just common sense.

Joe from WY
03-17-2012, 05:46 PM
thyy seyyy "knngratzz!...lol...yuu naoww haff a littl jizzmpprrr tuu klenn yurrr haowss enn a fww yrrs!...lol...rrnt yuu prowd?...lol"

Bumpus
03-17-2012, 11:13 PM
Drunk Bumpus says that drunken idiots need to learn to stop spraying their baby-batter at the walls of the uterus they're currently inside. :up:


Problem solved.

Fin Fan in Cali
03-17-2012, 11:16 PM
Drunk Bumpus says that drunken idiots need to learn to stop spraying their baby-batter at the walls of the uterus they're currently inside. :up:


Problem solved.Put a little super glue around the top of the Jimmy just to make sure.

PhinzN703
03-17-2012, 11:58 PM
like i said,i think you put yourself in a better position to raise kids to the betterment of society when you are married versus not.of course this is my opinion and many others.

When marriage fails 50% of the time I'd have to disagree with your point

PhinzN703
03-17-2012, 11:59 PM
is it that taboo in america to have kids and be married?

That's the supposed life path one should lead. It's one I'm trying to lead but that's b/c I want to. Not everyone wants to have kids and that's fine with me. I also don't believe people need to be married to have kids.

dreday
03-18-2012, 12:10 AM
When marriage fails 50% of the time I'd have to disagree with your point

so because marriage fails 50 % people shouldnt need to be married to have kids.why?doesnt make any sense.

dreday
03-18-2012, 12:12 AM
That's the supposed life path one should lead. It's one I'm trying to lead but that's b/c I want to. Not everyone wants to have kids and that's fine with me. I also don't believe people need to be married to have kids.

the problem is people are having kids and neglecting them.a married couple with a good marriage and good values can provide a better life for a child.

dreday
03-18-2012, 12:13 AM
That's the supposed life path one should lead. It's one I'm trying to lead but that's b/c I want to. Not everyone wants to have kids and that's fine with me. I also don't believe people need to be married to have kids.

id venture out to say marriages fail more than 50%,and that alot of it stems from coming from broken homes in the first place.

Ricky4Life
03-18-2012, 12:45 AM
I have two girls ages six and two. I was married and was staying around for the kids. Their mother and i's relationship was not heatly and we were constanly arguing. Is it health for me to stick around and having my children see that we can not stand each other and are only sticking around for them? I prefered to leave and currently go through a divorce and prefer to have my children see me happy when I have them, then to have them see me miserable.

dreday
03-18-2012, 01:02 AM
I have two girls ages six and two. I was married and was staying around for the kids. Their mother and i's relationship was not heatly and we were constanly arguing. Is it health for me to stick around and having my children see that we can not stand each other and are only sticking around for them? I prefered to leave and currently go through a divorce and prefer to have my children see me happy when I have them, then to have them see me miserable.

i guess i lucked out man.my wife and i, we dont even argue and weve been together 4 1/2 years.we have disagreements here and there,but that about it.its all about a positive atmosphere no matter what for us.so we feel like we are ready to bring children into our situation.

and i agree you shouldnt just stick around for the kids sake.hell they see you dont love each other,it starts hurting them more than it benefits them.

Ricky4Life
03-18-2012, 03:49 AM
i guess i lucked out man.my wife and i, we dont even argue and weve been together 4 1/2 years.we have disagreements here and there,but that about it.its all about a positive atmosphere no matter what for us.so we feel like we are ready to bring children into our situation.

and i agree you shouldnt just stick around for the kids sake.hell they see you dont love each other,it starts hurting them more than it benefits them.. Agreed, I would rather them see both of us happy even if we are not together.

PhinzN703
03-18-2012, 06:55 PM
so because marriage fails 50 % people shouldnt need to be married to have kids.why?doesnt make any sense.

What isn't sensible about that? Being married offers no guarantees over anything similar to being together without being married.

PhinzN703
03-18-2012, 06:56 PM
id venture out to say marriages fail more than 50%,and that alot of it stems from coming from broken homes in the first place.

I don't know what the specific % is regarding marriages that last but it is possible that some of the troubles people have could come from their past as you said. Drugs, alcohol, abuse, infidelity, etc. also could factor in it.

Lots and lots of variables

dreday
03-18-2012, 07:08 PM
What isn't sensible about that? Being married offers no guarantees over anything similar to being together without being married.

so youre telling me that a single parent household on average is a better guarantee than a solid married foundation for a child?look,first of all i think you need to step away from the matrix,then i think you will have some better quality reasoning here.

dreday
03-18-2012, 07:10 PM
I don't know what the specific % is regarding marriages that last but it is possible that some of the troubles people have could come from their past as you said. Drugs, alcohol, abuse, infidelity, etc. also could factor in it.

Lots and lots of variables

well,true but this only proves my point that a solid family structure is better than a single parent household.do yourself a favor and look up the percentages of either or and get back to me.

dreday
03-18-2012, 07:44 PM
and quite frankly, no single man wants to marry a smut and take care of her sperm creations from another man.at least he shouldn't.and if he has money,his options for attaining a model with no kids go up.

PhinzN703
03-18-2012, 10:20 PM
well,true but this only proves my point that a solid family structure is better than a single parent household.do yourself a favor and look up the percentages of either or and get back to me.

Of course it "works out better" for children of parents who live together and have a solid structure. People can have that w/o being married.

dreday
03-18-2012, 10:31 PM
Of course it "works out better" for children of parents who live together and have a solid structure. People can have that w/o being married.

well that all i was saying man...on a general level thats just the case.however, i do think its considerably harder when people have to find someone or choose to find someone outside of the biological to help raise the child.trust me,ive seen too much of it.

PhinzN703
03-19-2012, 08:02 PM
so youre telling me that a single parent household on average is a better guarantee than a solid married foundation for a child?look,first of all i think you need to step away from the matrix,then i think you will have some better quality reasoning here.

Dre, listen to what I am saying. All I've said in this entire thread is that IMO couples don't need to be married to raise children. I personally don't care if a couple is married or not, I don't think that makes a difference in raising a kid.

Single parents can get the job done too. I'm sure it's much more difficult but they can do it too.

PhinzN703
03-19-2012, 08:03 PM
well that all i was saying man...on a general level thats just the case.however, i do think its considerably harder when people have to find someone or choose to find someone outside of the biological to help raise the child.trust me,ive seen too much of it.

I wouldn't want to raise someone else's kid either :)

dreday
03-19-2012, 08:21 PM
Dre, listen to what I am saying. All I've said in this entire thread is that IMO couples don't need to be married to raise children. I personally don't care if a couple is married or not, I don't think that makes a difference in raising a kid.

Single parents can get the job done too. I'm sure it's much more difficult but they can do it too.

you wouldnt know because you dont have kids.you are right,you can raise a child no doubt about that,but why do you think all single mothers do whine about being a single parent?because its easier?because they enjoy it?because its cheaper?because the kids turn out better?NO..because they wish they had somebody to help them raise the kids and probably are second guessing their decision to not use some contraception.

im not sure youll find too many single parents that will agree with you.your reasoning would change if you were one of the guys out there paying child support.i know,i have friends who do.

dreday
03-19-2012, 08:22 PM
I wouldn't want to raise someone else's kid either :)

im sure you dont.nobody was asking you to.:chuckle:

PhinzN703
03-20-2012, 09:07 PM
you wouldnt know because you dont have kids.you are right,you can raise a child no doubt about that,but why do you think all single mothers do whine about being a single parent?because its easier?because they enjoy it?because its cheaper?because the kids turn out better?NO..because they wish they had somebody to help them raise the kids and probably are second guessing their decision to not use some contraception.

im not sure youll find too many single parents that will agree with you.your reasoning would change if you were one of the guys out there paying child support.i know,i have friends who do.

Why do I have to have kids to understand this? Your whole original point was asking why people say Congrats to people who have kids yet aren't married. I said before and I'll say again that I don't think people need to be married to have kids.

How did talk of single parents get into the equation?