PDA

View Full Version : Girl Question



Dajesus
03-06-2004, 04:03 AM
Some may know this if you have been around for awhile, but alot don't, but I was ingaged for a couple years untill last may. It took a couple weeks to get over the peircing pain. It took a couple months to get over the longing. It took me untill Jan to get over the feeling of not knowing if I could ever trust a girl or want to be in a serious relationship again. Now I am in a budding relationship that I think will by far surpass the last, but 2night the ex contacted me on IM, and all the pain of the past hit me like a ton of bricks. Will this ever go away, or am I destined to a life of feeling crushed if i talk to her, go by a place that was special to us, or have de ja vous from a time that we were together?

CirclingWagons
03-06-2004, 04:15 AM
Originally posted by Dajesus
Some may know this if you have been around for awhile, but alot don't, but I was ingaged for a couple years untill last may. It took a couple weeks to get over the peircing pain. It took a couple months to get over the longing. It took me untill Jan to get over the feeling of not knowing if I could ever trust a girl or want to be in a serious relationship again. Now I am in a budding relationship that I think will by far surpass the last, but 2night the ex contacted me on IM, and all the pain of the past hit me like a ton of bricks. Will this ever go away, or am I destined to a life of feeling crushed if i talk to her, go by a place that was special to us, or have de ja vous from a time that we were together? Only time can heal it...and the longer the relationship, the longer the time to get over it...best of luck to you bud, I've never been engaged before, but I know how you're feeling;)

Phinzone
03-06-2004, 04:26 AM
Originally posted by Dajesus
Some may know this if you have been around for awhile, but alot don't, but I was ingaged for a couple years untill last may. It took a couple weeks to get over the peircing pain. It took a couple months to get over the longing. It took me untill Jan to get over the feeling of not knowing if I could ever trust a girl or want to be in a serious relationship again. Now I am in a budding relationship that I think will by far surpass the last, but 2night the ex contacted me on IM, and all the pain of the past hit me like a ton of bricks. Will this ever go away, or am I destined to a life of feeling crushed if i talk to her, go by a place that was special to us, or have de ja vous from a time that we were together?

it will go away, but it will have to be replaced by something. I'm not saying go out and find someone or something to replace it, but over time you'll look back at it and wonder wtf you were thinking to begin with. Been in deep, haven't been engaged yet, but i'm with the girl that I will marry right now. I look back on ex's (only one caused real pain) and almost laugh. Then I regret all the things I gave up to be with them, and wonder just what I was thinking back then. SOme people can't get over it, and dwell in it, but it sounds like you moved on. Thats the key. Whether this one works out or not you'll keep moving forward, and look back on it. YOu may not laugh, but it won't hurt anymore either.

Clumpy
03-06-2004, 05:14 AM
Tell the ex to move on ( I know this is difficult)

Concentrate on the new girl

Good luck :up:

Peebs
03-06-2004, 10:41 AM
Forget the past and move on. Don't answer the ex's IM in fact remove her from your buddy list.
I know it hurts but time heals all wounds. Concentrate on the future and not the past.

Scrap
03-06-2004, 10:48 AM
Stay away from her.She'll just cause you pain again.

LIQUID24
03-06-2004, 11:30 AM
Forget your ex, tell her f-off!!

1972
03-06-2004, 01:36 PM
Originally posted by CirclingWagons
Only time can heal it...and the longer the relationship, the longer the time to get over it...best of luck to you bud, I've never been engaged before, but I know how you're feeling;)

CW has the right idea. I heard something once that has turned out to be generally true: However long the relationship lasts, it usually takes twice as long as that to be COMPLETELY over it.

Banging a new chick always helps getting over that initial sting, though. :D

SuavePhin
03-06-2004, 02:47 PM
"and all the pain of the past hit me like a ton of bricks"

you just gave yourself your own reason to forget the biotch, if it hurts, its not love, move on and leave the past behind

Muck
03-07-2004, 12:52 AM
I agree with the aboves. Don't answer her IMs. Delete her from your list. If necessary, tell her never to contact you again.

You have to cut off all contact. You can't have any setbacks on the road to "recovery". And this is a setback. Nip this thing in the bud.

Why was she contacting you anyway??

Zeke0123
03-07-2004, 02:24 PM
You have to understand her Motivation. She sees you a a security blanket and wants to make sure your still there for her, if she ever needs you. Its a completely selfish motivation(at this point she is over you). I would be Nice but I would tell her your moving on and friendship for you right now (with her) is not an option.

goldfish
03-09-2004, 10:38 AM
I could agree with everyone else, but I will provide you with a different look at it....

I too had been engaged to this chick for a while... true love and all that stuff. I hurt real bad... I had bought the chick a car and we shared bank accounts and everything. I had to try and restructure my life after I caught her cheating on me.

I moved on and found this woman who seemed to be my perfect match. We got real serious over a short period (3-4 months)
After about 4 months of being out of my ex's life (even though she would still visit my mom) she decided that she wasn't just going to let me go.

Now I'm the type that said, "If I ever catch someone cheating on me... there would be NO second chances"

Long story short... I married my ex.... we've been happily married for 6 years and we're having our second daughter in July! I couldn't imagine my life without her. It took some time, some counseling, and some prayer... but we become closer and closer freinds every day. I can't explain it....it just happened.

I had to break it off with the woman who I thought was the perfect mate, because I still loved my ex. I think about her every-once in awhile, but I don't regret my decision.

Point is -- If you believe in fate, you know you can't control it. So what should you follow, your head or your heart?

You have to figure out what makes you happy.... what completes you. Maybe you should open up that line of communication and understand where her head is. I know it will confuse things, but in the end you will have a more complete picture.

just a thought....

Rebar71
03-09-2004, 04:31 PM
Originally posted by 1972
Banging a new chick always helps getting over that initial sting, though. :D
Truer words were never spoken.

:cpatch: