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dolphan39
06-11-2004, 01:36 PM
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the
monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could
have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and
ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as
long as he could answer a very difficult question.

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer
and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an
impossible query! . But, since it was better than
death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have
an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men
and even the court jester.* He spoke with everyone,
but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch,
for onl y she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous
throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she
charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no
choice but to talk to the witch. She agr! eed to
answer the question, but he would have to agree to
her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most
noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's
closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and
hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewerage,
made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered
such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and
endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot,
learning* of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared
&g! t; to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round
Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch
answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be
in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the
witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's
life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted
Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a
wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling
himself for a horrific experience, entered the
&g! t; bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most
beautiful woman he had ever seen, lay before him on
the bed.* The astounded Lancelot asked what had
happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to
her when she appeared as a witch, she would
henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half
the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the
day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a
beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at
night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch?
Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during
the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to
enjoy wondro us, intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR
choice before you scroll down below.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave
Arthur to his question, said that he would allow HER
to make the choice herself Upon hearing this, she
announced that she would be beautiful all the time
because he had respected her enough to let her be in
charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
The moral is..... If you don't let a woman have her
own way....things are going to get ugly

ThunderCane
06-11-2004, 02:45 PM
That was a wee bit long winded...but very good all the same.

Peebs
06-11-2004, 07:14 PM
I thought this thread would be about big pee-pee's.

That's what women really want.

!PapaCrunk81!
06-11-2004, 11:43 PM
Oh lovely Peebs, you've just opened the floodgates for liars now :lol:

Prime Time
06-12-2004, 12:14 AM
I thought this thread would be about big pee-pee's.

That's what women really want.

Oh really ;), what else do women want?

Hellion
06-12-2004, 05:13 AM
Oh really ;), what else do women want?

You know you just slammed yourself right? :lol:

Peebs
06-12-2004, 12:29 PM
Now WHY would you intentionally take a picture of your johnson? :tongue: OR would I just find it anywhere on the net? :eek:

Now see bragging to a woman that you have a big pee pee isn't something men can just do. Because eventually you gotta give up the goods and she'll know you were lying!
I know if a guy drives a porsche, he's got a little one (true story, totally inforced my opinion on "over compensation").

So boys some advice-don't lie. If you can't give into the supply and demand-run to a dealership and pick up a hot sports car :tongue: :lol:

AND don't be handing me that "it's not what you got, it's how to use it bull....those who "didn't" couldn't use it either (see Porsche guy above).

Just a womans opinion! :D

Scrap
06-12-2004, 02:24 PM
Now, why did you need to bust our egos like that?

Just let us tell you we have a huge "E-Peepee", and pretend to be impressed.

Anyone know where I can get a good deal on a porsche?

!PapaCrunk81!
06-12-2004, 02:24 PM
I drive a four door Galant.

Scrap
06-12-2004, 02:27 PM
I drive a cavalier, and a minivan. I'm pretty much a porn star. ;)

Prime Time
06-12-2004, 06:17 PM
Well Peebs, let me ask you this. What is considered big? ;)

Peebs
06-12-2004, 06:46 PM
:lol: you guys are funny.





and to answer the size question....for me....anything under 8" hard is too small ;)

Prime Time
06-12-2004, 06:57 PM
:lol: Thank you for answering my question. Now I guarantee we will see responses like "Looks like I pass Peebs' test"

Prime Time
06-12-2004, 07:00 PM
Man, I am feeling left out, all these guys who are older than me are hitting on females their age, and I have noone to hit one :( (besides IceBlizzard but he is male so no :lol: )

Peebs
06-12-2004, 07:30 PM
And I know 75% of the responses would be lies :lol: Cause how would we know!

Prime Time
06-12-2004, 08:19 PM
And I know 75% of the responses would be lies :lol: Cause how would we know!

I am sure a lot of them would say that they would be willing to show you...:lol:

Phinzone
06-12-2004, 08:22 PM
well if it's a choice between letting someone see my Johnson, or be forever branded "the man that told the 8 inch whopper" I'd take a pick too!

LIQUID24
06-12-2004, 09:27 PM
:lol: you guys are funny.





and to answer the size question....for me....anything under 8" hard is too small ;)
Anything under 34D's is too small. ;)

I'm just sayin'.

Peebs
06-13-2004, 12:14 AM
Then I have a friend for you-too bad she's married. She's a 36 DD though she really is a DDD but refuses to buy a DDD bra. So she squeezes those puppies into a DD and has enough clevage to hold a bottle of Bud (true story, saw a guy stick his beer in there once...).
People always like a place for there beer.....

Prime Time
06-13-2004, 10:36 AM
Hey Peebs, everyone except for me and two other guys have talked about their size. So how about you share your "size"? You women are all about equal rights correct?

outtawack311
06-13-2004, 11:42 AM
They want 11 inches........Around

Snickersbps
06-13-2004, 02:04 PM
They want 11 inches........Around

think about it....



:roflmao:

I was totally coming into this thread just to post that exact same thing. Punk!

Peebs
06-13-2004, 05:48 PM
11" around? :eek: What do you think it is? The Lincoln tunnel? Girth is AS important as length but geeeeeeeeeeez....


and my "size" is a 32A, why should I lie? If I had the extra dough I would be a 32 FULL C by the way of the implant! :cool: O do have "breast" envy. Especially when you have a friend with MAJOR league hooters.

Though when I go out with her, I never have to pay for a drink. Her breasts have gotten me drunk on many occasions. ;)

Prime Time
06-13-2004, 06:30 PM
and my "size" is a 32A, why should I lie? If I had the extra dough I would be a 32 FULL C by the way of the implant! :cool: O do have "breast" envy. Especially when you have a friend with MAJOR league hooters.

Though when I go out with her, I never have to pay for a drink. Her breasts have gotten me drunk on many occasions. ;)

:eek: :eek: :eek: ^^^




How the hell does anyone even measure it around? That is the biggest BS ever, and it is a line from American Pie.

Hellion
06-13-2004, 08:15 PM
11" around? :eek: What do you think it is? The Lincoln tunnel? Girth is AS important as length but geeeeeeeeeeez....


and my "size" is a 32A, why should I lie? If I had the extra dough I would be a 32 FULL C by the way of the implant! :cool: O do have "breast" envy. Especially when you have a friend with MAJOR league hooters.

Though when I go out with her, I never have to pay for a drink. Her breasts have gotten me drunk on many occasions. ;)

Peeps, it sounds like you need a breast transfusion with your friend, here's how it works, 1st you and your friend contact me, how the procedure works is I orally draw energy from your friends breast through her nipples, and then through the same area on your breast i put the energy into your breasts therefore stimulating growth in your breasts.
Now this procedure takes several treatments and I can't gaurentee positive results, but the upside is we have a great time.

The side effects may include a rise in body temprature, sensitivity of the skin, dicoloration of the skin (turning a blush color) a raise in heart rate, and women tent to excrete a self lubercation in the ******l area. I can help in this area as well, although it's a slightly different procedure.
:D :D :evil: :evil: :D :D

Peebs
06-13-2004, 08:29 PM
:eek:

That's ok. I'll just go see Dr. Hassan at South Shore Cosmetic Surgeons on of these days.

Btw...my friend, is pregnant. Them boys are getting BIGGER. I think they might explode eventually.

Clumpy
06-14-2004, 09:50 AM
8" :eek:

How big is too big then?

dolphan39
06-14-2004, 01:49 PM
11" around? :eek: What do you think it is? The Lincoln tunnel? Girth is AS important as length but geeeeeeeeeeez....


you asked for it... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/040612/photos_od_afp/040612223046_6vsf86zu_photo0&e=5&ncid=707

Phinzone
06-14-2004, 02:35 PM
8" :eek:

How big is too big then?

Good question, let's have Peebs answer this one, I'm curious as well.

P4E
06-14-2004, 02:47 PM
you asked for it... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/040612/photos_od_afp/040612223046_6vsf86zu_photo0&e=5&ncid=707
Inga (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000414/): Voof.
Igor (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001204/): He's going to be very popular.

Prime Time
06-14-2004, 03:25 PM
I feel lonely... :cry:

Scrap
06-14-2004, 03:47 PM
I feel lonely... :cry:
Sorry to hear that Primetime. Maybe this will help. :D

loneliness game (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/spankmonkey.html)

Prime Time
06-14-2004, 04:22 PM
:lol: :(

Peebs
06-14-2004, 07:25 PM
Ok the picture of Rasputin's ***** in a jar is just gross (for the record I thought it would be bigger...anyhoo....)
8 hard is big enough, anything under 6 hard too small. 7 being the norm.

dean_siu
06-14-2004, 07:43 PM
Hey Peeps....which is more important to you? Length or girth?

And do you have any pictures of your friend to post??? I'm sure I'm not the only one that would like to see these puppies! :cool:

Prime Time
06-14-2004, 09:09 PM
Ok the picture of Rasputin's ***** in a jar is just gross (for the record I thought it would be bigger...anyhoo....)
8 hard is big enough, anything under 6 hard too small. 7 being the norm.

Interesting... :cool:

Peebs
06-14-2004, 09:29 PM
Hey Peeps....which is more important to you? Length or girth?

And do you have any pictures of your friend to post??? I'm sure I'm not the only one that would like to see these puppies! :cool:
Truth? Girth.

And yes I happen to have a picture of her "puppies" however it is not scanned. One night at happy hour I was killing off a disposible camera. We were getting trashed and she took the camera when I wasn't looking and took a picture of her clevage. I get the pic's back and thumbing through them in CVS "oh look a picture of Tamika and Yamalie....oh that's a nice picture of me and Maggie...ahhhh look at them ho's on the dance floor....ok there we are doing shots....HOLY ****...." :lol: ;)
Ahhh she knows I'm jealous of them that's why she did it. :cool:

Peebs
06-14-2004, 09:35 PM
you know, we need a "ask peebs" forum. A forum for people to ask me questions about anything-relationships, fashion, why the LIE is a complete parking lot 24/7, sex, what women want, what men want (that's an easy one-sex) why we shouldn't shave cats fur, why people put $5000 stereo systems in cars worth $900, why ripple doesn't go with fish...stuff like that. I'm very knowledgeable. I used to work for 12 years in a women's health clinic. I've heard everything.

Think about it.

Prime Time
06-14-2004, 09:43 PM
Peebs, you'd recieve questions like that, you'd see 4E saying "Will you make love with me" :lol: I have a question, why are there no females that I can talk to on this board?!! :( :lol:

Peebs
06-14-2004, 10:03 PM
no....not questions ABOUT me or directly TO me. But questions like "why does my girlfriend blah blah blah" or "how do you make shrimp scampi" ....like Dr. Ruth, but cleaner.

And you can talk to me even if I'm old enough to be your Mother....almost ;) A young Mother.... :lol:

Prime Time
06-14-2004, 10:06 PM
:lol: Thanks Peebs ;)

Hey, you know who has been missing from this thread? Muck. He hasn't said anything, I guess he doesn't try to pretend anymore ever since that school girl comment.

Peebs
06-14-2004, 10:25 PM
He might be busy, tearing up the house looking for a ruler :lol:



:tongue:

Prime Time
06-14-2004, 11:35 PM
:rofl: OWNED!!!

Prime Time
06-14-2004, 11:51 PM
Hey Peebs, I just noticed signed up on very close dates.

Scrap
06-15-2004, 07:45 AM
no....not questions ABOUT me or directly TO me. But questions like "why does my girlfriend blah blah blah" or "how do you make shrimp scampi" ....like Dr. Ruth, but cleaner.

And you can talk to me even if I'm old enough to be your Mother....almost ;) A young Mother.... :lol:
Why did I just picture you saying:"Who's your mama?" :lol:

dolphan39
06-15-2004, 10:07 AM
"how do you make shrimp scampi" w/chicken scampi be any good ? if so, how would you make it ? ;)

LIQUID24
06-15-2004, 10:07 AM
Peebs, you'd recieve questions like that, you'd see 4E saying "Will you make love with me" :lol: I have a question, why are there no females that I can talk to on this board?!! :( :lol:
No one wants to talk to you on this board, male or female :lol: :jk:

Prime Time
06-15-2004, 02:04 PM
Why did I just picture you saying:"Who's your mama?" :lol:


:lol: :confused: :lol:


No one wants to talk to you on this board, male or female

:mad:

themole
06-15-2004, 06:44 PM
[QUOTE=Peebs]11" around? :eek: What do you think it is? The Lincoln tunnel? Girth is AS important as length but geeeeeeeeeeez....



Sounds to me like it's more akin to an Otter Slide. :evil:

Peebs
06-15-2004, 08:34 PM
first....leave my friend PT alone! :)

Second Chicken scampi would be a little greasy....not too good.
Chicken Marsala-much better and easy to make. Try it for your wife/girlfriend/Mother/Bootycall

1/4 cup all-purpose flour for coating
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - pounded 1/4 inch thick
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup Marsala wine
1/4 cup cooking sherry


1 In a shallow dish or bowl, mix together the flour, salt, pepper and oregano. Coat chicken pieces in flour mixture.
2 In a large skillet, melt butter in oil over medium heat. Place chicken in the pan, and lightly brown. Turn over chicken pieces, and add mushrooms. Pour in wine and sherry. Cover skillet; simmer chicken 10 minutes, turning once, until no longer pink and juices run clear.


And Scrap, I actually said "Who YO mama" but the same sentiment was there :tongue:

Clumpy
06-15-2004, 11:53 PM
first....leave my friend PT alone! :)

Second Chicken scampi would be a little greasy....not too good.
Chicken Marsala-much better and easy to make. Try it for your wife/girlfriend/Mother/Bootycall

1/4 cup all-purpose flour for coating
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - pounded 1/4 inch thick
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup Marsala wine
1/4 cup cooking sherry


1 In a shallow dish or bowl, mix together the flour, salt, pepper and oregano. Coat chicken pieces in flour mixture.
2 In a large skillet, melt butter in oil over medium heat. Place chicken in the pan, and lightly brown. Turn over chicken pieces, and add mushrooms. Pour in wine and sherry. Cover skillet; simmer chicken 10 minutes, turning once, until no longer pink and juices run clear.


And Scrap, I actually said "Who YO mama" but the same sentiment was there :tongue:


When can I come over for dinner? :tongue:

Prime Time
06-16-2004, 12:29 AM
I was just reading the title of the the thread then I saw who responded last which was Clumpy, and I put them together and bursted out laughing :lol:....Nothing but love Clumpy

Peebs
06-16-2004, 06:42 PM
When can I come over for dinner? :tongue:


Sure in July 28th 2025. Don't be late.

The_Philster
06-16-2004, 08:26 PM
Sure in July 28th 2025. Don't be late.
:shakeno: You are so cruel to that boy...but we'll make sure he won't miss it

Peebs
06-16-2004, 09:31 PM
Ok make sure he's on time....
I quite possibly could be dead by then....


:tongue:

Clumpy
06-16-2004, 11:09 PM
Sure in July 28th 2025. Don't be late.

I get to spend the day with you :cp:

Take your Geritol :up:

MOULDSROCKS
06-16-2004, 11:26 PM
me

dolphan39
06-17-2004, 04:15 PM
first....leave my friend PT alone! :)

Second Chicken scampi would be a little greasy....not too good.
Chicken Marsala-much better and easy to make. Try it for your wife/girlfriend/Mother/Bootycall

1/4 cup all-purpose flour for coating
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - pounded 1/4 inch thick
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup Marsala wine
1/4 cup cooking sherry


1 In a shallow dish or bowl, mix together the flour, salt, pepper and oregano. Coat chicken pieces in flour mixture.
2 In a large skillet, melt butter in oil over medium heat. Place chicken in the pan, and lightly brown. Turn over chicken pieces, and add mushrooms. Pour in wine and sherry. Cover skillet; simmer chicken 10 minutes, turning once, until no longer pink and juices run clear.


And Scrap, I actually said "Who YO mama" but the same sentiment was there :tongue:
1) thanks - I think my wife makes marsala fairly. I even used to make it when I was single in 1800's :hitself:

2)
Q. What is the average ***** size?
A. 5-7 inches (erect) The Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex

What about thickness?
A. The average is 4-6 inches in circumference. Gebhard and Johnson

Don't let anybody tell you differently.
http://www.go-*****-enlargement.com/average_*****_size/

based on that you have eliminated about 95% of all guys

JPhinfan86
06-20-2004, 07:27 AM
I drive a Plymouth Sundance....i'm Ron friggin' Jeremy!!


She was hunchbacked and hideous, only had one tooth, smelled like sewerage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repungant creature in all his life

Are you sure this story wasn't referring to Jets fans? :jetssuck: :lol:



based on that you have eliminated about 95% of all guys

I'm special special!! :banana: :dance: (and I don't mean retarded :lol: ).

dean_siu
06-20-2004, 08:05 PM
Truth? Girth.

And yes I happen to have a picture of her "puppies" however it is not scanned. One night at happy hour I was killing off a disposible camera. We were getting trashed and she took the camera when I wasn't looking and took a picture of her clevage. I get the pic's back and thumbing through them in CVS "oh look a picture of Tamika and Yamalie....oh that's a nice picture of me and Maggie...ahhhh look at them ho's on the dance floor....ok there we are doing shots....HOLY ****...." :lol: ;)
Ahhh she knows I'm jealous of them that's why she did it. :cool:


Did you get that pic scanned yet??? I'm really waiting to see it. Maybe after you get it posted.....I'll give you a surprise pic of my very own!! :cooldude:

Peebs
06-20-2004, 08:23 PM
:eek:
No I don't own a scanner.
And I'm afraid of the surprise...

dean_siu
06-20-2004, 08:29 PM
Nothing to be afraid of....I'm sure you've seen a few of them before....it just might be a little larger than you're used to! :cool:

Peebs
06-20-2004, 08:34 PM
Doubtful :tongue:

!PapaCrunk81!
06-20-2004, 10:57 PM
Doubtful :tongue:
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
you're cruel darling Peebs

Peebs
06-21-2004, 07:39 PM
:D

Clumpy
06-21-2004, 11:14 PM
Peebs is a size queen :(