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BigFinFan
07-01-2004, 06:20 PM
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JOHN FORBES KERRY, "MAN OF THE PEOPLE"

CAREER OBJECTIVE
- President of the United States
- Renter of the Lincoln bedroom
- Intern Supervisor
- Commander and Chief
- Defender of the Working Man, I mean Person

EDUCATION
- Educated at Swiss Boarding Schools -- because my parents did not like me that much
- Attended elite private schools like Fessenden School in West Newton, Massachusetts and St. Paul's in New Hampshire -- just like your kids
- Graduated Yale University, 1966 (I am much smarter than that Bush guy -- oh, wait, he also went to Yale.)
- Graduated Boston College Law School in 1976 (I am much smarter than that Bush guy -- oh, wait, he got an MBA from Harvard.)

VIETNAM MILITARY SERVICE
- Served as an officer on a swiftboat in the Mekong Delta in VIETNAM for three long months -- tried my best to come home a hero like JFK after his service on PT-109. I was in VIETNAM -- VIETNAM was a place where I was for a while. Did I mention that VIETNAM veterans love me?
- I collected three Purple Hearts in my three months (had to get three in order to come home and run for Congress as a hero like JFK) and the last one for that scratch on my finger -- it REALLY did hurt! It was important to have the right connections so I could get home and run for Congress on my hero status like JFK -- he was not in VIETNAM, but I was.
- Brought my own motion camera to make sure images of me in VIETNAM becoming a hero made it back home to the states. Got a free trip home after three months on my swiftboat where I suffered severe injuries and collected three Purple Hearts (did I mention that), a Bronze and Silver Star for heroism -- ensuring my destiny as a hero and man of the people like JFK.
- Got home and found out they were not bestowing hero status on war heroes like me, so I threw my medals, or was it my ribbons, over the White House fence. Maybe it was someone else's medals.
- Co-founder of the VIETNAM Veterans of America and spokesperson for the VIETNAM Veterans Against the War and worked closely with Jane Fonda to make sure everyone knew that all the guys in VIETNAM were war criminals -- I was too, and even testified before the Senate about my own war crimes.
- "Represented" my cadre of anti-American misfits in a Paris meeting to discuss how we could better provide "aid and comfort" for the North Vietnamese and to discuss the unconditional surrender of the U.S. In doing so, I knowingly, directly violated UCMJ Article 104 part 904, and U.S. Code 18 U.S.C. 953.
- Did I mention that this meeting, and my other anti-American activities, also put me in violation of the Constitution's Article three, Section three, which defines treason as "giving aid and comfort" to the enemy in time of warfare.
- Consequently, I stand subject to the Constitution's Fourteenth Amendment, Section 3, which states, "No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President...having previously taken an oath...to support the Constitution of the United States, [who has] engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof."
- But I don't have to resign -- I am understudy to Teddy Kennedy, now the patriarch of JFK's family.
- I topped off my coddling of Commies by authoring a book called The New Soldier -- but since military heroes are back in vogue, I now sue anyone who reproduces the cover of that book on any website.

CONGRESSIONAL "SERVICE"
- Volunteered as a campaign worker for my mentor, Teddy Kennedy in 1962. I just love that big lug!
- My first campaign for Congress was in 1972 -- I was a war hero like JFK but nobody noticed so I ran on my anti-American platform. I won the primary with a little help from my campaign manager (brother Cameron) who broke into my opponents campaign headquarters. Unfortunately, because of that Watergate thing, I lost the general election to a Republican even after spending more than any other Congressional campaign in the nation.
- In 1982, with the help of Uncle Teddy, I got elected as lieutenant governor for governor Michael Dukakis -- then got elected to the Senate in 1984 -- it has been smooth sailing ever since. I have dedicated the last 20 years, between wives and vacation homes, promoting big government spending (except in defense and intelligence, which I vote against every chance I get), class warfare, the welfare state and general wealth redistribution, any kind of abortion on demand (without parental consent for minors), and obstructionist tactics in the judicial nominee process.
- According to Americans for Democratic Action, a far-left watchdog group, I have a higher lifetime liberal voting record at 93% than Ted Kennedy with 88%
- I am the ranking Democrat member of the Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship. My current millionaire wife is heiress of the Heinz Ketchup fortune -- a "small" business
- Ranking member of the Hispanic Task Force, even though I "borked" Miguel Estrada
- Chaired the Senate Democratic Leadership Steering and Coordination Committee
- In 1987, teemed up with Teddy to get an override of presidential veto of Boston's Big Dig Boondoggle -- one of the most larded distributions of taxpayer largess in U.S. history.
- In 1991 the Senate created the Select Senate Committee on POW/MIA Affairs to investigate the possibility that U.S. prisoners of war and soldiers designated missing in action were still alive in Vietnam. Acting as chairman, I helped persuade the group to vote unanimously that no American servicemen still remained in Vietnam. In doing so, I helped begin the process of normalizing U.S.-Vietnamese relations.
- Wealthiest senator ("man of the people"), with an estimated net worth of nearly $200 million (that's $800 million if you combine it with my current wife's assets)

POLITICAL POSTURING AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

ABORTION
- Voted to federally fund abortions
- Voted against parental consent for minors
- Voted against ban on Partial Birth Abortion (3 times)
- Voted against ban on sending money to UN population fund -- the money was sent to pay for China's forced abortion and sterilization policy
- Have been warned by Catholic clergy that I will not be served communion due to my stance on this issue
- NARAL lifetime rating of 100%; National Right to Life Committee lifetime rating of 0%

DEATH PENALTY
- Oppose federal and/or state death penalty (except for innocent unborn children -- see above)
- Voted against death penalty for terrorists
- Voted against death penalty for drug-related murders

TAXES & ECONOMICS
- I like high taxes and want to raise them
- Voted against all three Bush tax cuts & want to repeal them
- Voted for 1993 Clinton tax hike (largest in history)
- Voted against major tax relief packages at least 10 times
- Support re-raising taxes on the wealthy to redistribute money for healthcare and education -- i.e., Socialism
- Claim I can stop outsourcing and create 10 million new jobs in four years, despite the fact that there are only about 8 million unemployed people in the U.S.
- Want to raise the minimum wage, which will result in outsourcing and the loss of jobs
- Voted at least 5 times against balanced budget amendments
- Voted at least 5 times to raid the Social Security Trust Fund
- Believe Washington manages your money better than you could
- Lifetime rating of 26% from Citizens Against Government Waste

MILITARY & NATIONAL SECURITY
- We don't need a military, per se
- Favor UN control of remaining U.S. Troops
- Voted for 7 major reductions in military funding
- Voted against Gulf War I (1991)
- Voted for Gulf War II -- but then criticized and voted against military appropriation for troops
- Voted against MX missile, Trident Submarine, SDI (Strategic Defense Initiative -- Star Wars), and the B-1 and B-2 Stealth Bomber/Fighter
- Supported slashing $2.6 billion from intelligence funding while serving as a member of Senate Intelligence Committee

SECOND AMENDMENT
- Against
- Have earned a lifetime rating of 0% from the National Rifle Association

FAITH & VALUES
- Against/Don't have any
- Voted Against Defense of Marriage Act
- Favor civil unions for homosexuals until marriage is popular enough to support
- Voted to extend hate crimes protections to homosexuals
- Voted against voluntary school prayer
- Voted against ban on human cloning and support embryonic stem-cell research

EDUCATION
- Voted against voucher pilot program
- Voted against approving a school-choice pilot program
- Support racial profiling and preference for admission to universities, known as "affirmative action"

JUDGES, COURTS & LAW
- Against racial profiling and preference when dealing with terrorism
- Voted against confirmation William Rehnquist as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court
- Voted against confirmation of Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court
- Only support activist judges who will support abortion, persecute Christians and rewrite the Constitution
- Voted against confirmation John Ashcroft as U.S. Attorney General
- Voted against punitive damage limits in products liability cases
- As Michael Dukakis' Lt. Governor from 1983-1985, supported granting prison furloughs to hundreds of Massachusetts inmates

FOREIGN POLICY
- Against linking Most Favored Nation status to China's human rights record
- Voted for Kyoto Protocol on Environment that exempted major Third World polluters, while creating an unfair burden on American taxpayers
- Supported Iraq regime change as late as January 2003, but not anymore
- Support unilateral nuclear freeze
- Support submitting completely to the UN, as well as the International Criminal Court, taking all sovereignty away from the U.S. and its citizens
- Don't know what the Geneva Conventions say, mean or who they apply to

OTHER QUALIFICATIONS
- Five multi-million dollar mansions
- A large multi-million dollar yacht
- Many "American" cars, including several gas-guzzling SUVs, which I am opposed to politically
- Personal 757 campaign jet
- Access to unlimited condiments -- did I mention my current millionaire wife is heiress to the Heinz fortune
- Have dual citizenship in France

REFERENCES
- General Vo Nguyen Giap -- most celebrated military hero of NORTH VIETNAM, where I served
- "Hanoi Jane" Fonda
- Teddy Kennedy
- John F. Kennedy -- we have the same initials
- Howard Dean -- (Albert Gore by proxy)
- Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings
- "Foreign Leaders" who I am unable to name at this time

iceblizzard69
07-01-2004, 10:40 PM
POLITICAL POSTURING AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

ABORTION
- Voted to federally fund abortions
- Voted against parental consent for minors
- Voted against ban on Partial Birth Abortion (3 times)
- Voted against ban on sending money to UN population fund -- the money was sent to pay for China's forced abortion and sterilization policy
- Have been warned by Catholic clergy that I will not be served communion due to my stance on this issue
- NARAL lifetime rating of 100%; National Right to Life Committee lifetime rating of 0%

Good.


DEATH PENALTY
- Oppose federal and/or state death penalty (except for innocent unborn children -- see above)
- Voted against death penalty for terrorists
- Voted against death penalty for drug-related murders

I'd rather die than spend my whole life in jail. I'm not 100% anti-Death Penalty, but it is used way too much.


TAXES & ECONOMICS
- I like high taxes and want to raise them
- Voted against all three Bush tax cuts & want to repeal them
- Voted for 1993 Clinton tax hike (largest in history)
- Voted against major tax relief packages at least 10 times
- Support re-raising taxes on the wealthy to redistribute money for healthcare and education -- i.e., Socialism
- Claim I can stop outsourcing and create 10 million new jobs in four years, despite the fact that there are only about 8 million unemployed people in the U.S.
- Want to raise the minimum wage, which will result in outsourcing and the loss of jobs
- Voted at least 5 times against balanced budget amendments
- Voted at least 5 times to raid the Social Security Trust Fund
- Believe Washington manages your money better than you could
- Lifetime rating of 26% from Citizens Against Government Waste

Not good. However, you can't cut taxes and spend more. I am for cutting taxes as long as you cut spending as well.


MILITARY & NATIONAL SECURITY
- We don't need a military, per se
- Favor UN control of remaining U.S. Troops
- Voted for 7 major reductions in military funding
- Voted against Gulf War I (1991)
- Voted for Gulf War II -- but then criticized and voted against military appropriation for troops
- Voted against MX missile, Trident Submarine, SDI (Strategic Defense Initiative -- Star Wars), and the B-1 and B-2 Stealth Bomber/Fighter
- Supported slashing $2.6 billion from intelligence funding while serving as a member of Senate Intelligence Committee

Kerry doesn't think that we don't need a military. Nonetheless, I disagree with most of what he has done in terms of the military. However, he has stated that he will not pull out of Iraq or Afghanistan.



SECOND AMENDMENT
- Against
- Have earned a lifetime rating of 0% from the National Rifle Association

I tend to side with conservatives on gun issues, so I don't have much to say on this one.


FAITH & VALUES
- Against/Don't have any
- Voted Against Defense of Marriage Act
- Favor civil unions for homosexuals until marriage is popular enough to support
- Voted to extend hate crimes protections to homosexuals
- Voted against voluntary school prayer
- Voted against ban on human cloning and support embryonic stem-cell research

GOOD! Everything he has done here is GOOD! School prayer shouldn't be a part of school. You can pray on your own, you can do it in school, but it shouldn't be part of the day. Civil unions are good! If you beat up a homosexual for being gay, it is a hate crime. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE AGAINST EXTENDING HATE CRIME PROTECTIONS TO HOMOSEXUALS? If you beat/murder someone for being gay, it is a hate crime! Also, supporting stem-cell research is good! The religious right is 100% WRONG on stem cell research. It should be LEGAL.


EDUCATION
- Voted against voucher pilot program
- Voted against approving a school-choice pilot program
- Support racial profiling and preference for admission to universities, known as "affirmative action"

Vouchers are bad. While affirmative action may be considering to be discrimination, I think quite a few schools would discriminate against minorities if it wasn't around.


JUDGES, COURTS & LAW
- Against racial profiling and preference when dealing with terrorism
- Voted against confirmation William Rehnquist as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court
- Voted against confirmation of Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court
- Only support activist judges who will support abortion, persecute Christians and rewrite the Constitution
- Voted against confirmation John Ashcroft as U.S. Attorney General
- Voted against punitive damage limits in products liability cases
- As Michael Dukakis' Lt. Governor from 1983-1985, supported granting prison furloughs to hundreds of Massachusetts inmates

Racial profiling is bad. Anyway, not all terrorists are from the same countries and are of the same religion. Also, I would have voted against making Ashcroft attorney general too, he is a religious right wing nutcase. I do think Kerry is wrong on the Dukakis thing, but since this is obviously from a conservative sourse, I'm not 100% sure if that is true. Either way he would never do that now.


FOREIGN POLICY
- Against linking Most Favored Nation status to China's human rights record
- Voted for Kyoto Protocol on Environment that exempted major Third World polluters, while creating an unfair burden on American taxpayers
- Supported Iraq regime change as late as January 2003, but not anymore
- Support unilateral nuclear freeze
- Support submitting completely to the UN, as well as the International Criminal Court, taking all sovereignty away from the U.S. and its citizens
- Don't know what the Geneva Conventions say, mean or who they apply to

Kerry doesn't believe in completely submitting to the UN, but they should have more involvement in Iraq than the currently do. Sadly, this country has violated the Geneva Convention in this war (one example being that we gave pictures of Saddam's dead sons to the military and obviously what we did to those prisoners was against it too).


OTHER QUALIFICATIONS
- Five multi-million dollar mansions
- A large multi-million dollar yacht
- Many "American" cars, including several gas-guzzling SUVs, which I am opposed to politically
- Personal 757 campaign jet
- Access to unlimited condiments -- did I mention my current millionaire wife is heiress to the Heinz fortune
- Have dual citizenship in France

Bush is rich too, although not as rich. AND WHO THE **** CARES IF HE IS A FRENCH CITIZEN?

Section126
07-02-2004, 12:59 AM
Good.



You are sick if you support all those pro-abortion measures...

C'mon...Partial Birth Abortion? Have you seen what a baby looks like in the sixth month of pregnacy?

I hope you are kidding, because Kerry's record on the issue borders on criminal.

I'm pro-choice BTW.

Section126
07-02-2004, 01:01 AM
BigFinFan, you forgot that he also voted against these weapon systems:

M1 Abrams Tank

Bradley Fighting Vehicle

The F-22 Fighter

The F-15E Fighter

The Patriot system

The Aegis cruiser

He voted against the second generation of smart bombs (which Clinton urged passage for!)

He even voted against the A-3 rifle.

It seems to me that he really doesn't want a military.

Kerry's record on Military matters sucks.

iceblizzard69
07-02-2004, 09:53 AM
You are sick if you support all those pro-abortion measures...

C'mon...Partial Birth Abortion? Have you seen what a baby looks like in the sixth month of pregnacy?

I hope you are kidding, because Kerry's record on the issue borders on criminal.

I'm pro-choice BTW.

I'm not for PBAs unless they are necessary (i.e. to save a woman's life). I'd rather see women get abortions earlier. I also don't support the forced abortion they do in China, but I bet that money went to a lot of other things as well.

PhinPhan1227
07-02-2004, 10:29 AM
I'm not for PBAs unless they are necessary (i.e. to save a woman's life). I'd rather see women get abortions earlier. I also don't support the forced abortion they do in China, but I bet that money went to a lot of other things as well.


I'm Pro-Choice but against PBA's. Are you aware that there has never been a SINGLE PBA performed in the US in order to save a womans life? The reason for that is because if the woman is healthy enough to deliver the head, she's healthy enough to deliver the shoulders. ANY woman who has been through a ******l delivery could tell you that.

Mr.Murder
07-02-2004, 09:21 PM
Cheney voted against those items too it was his legislation...