View Full Version : My weakend

06-13-2005, 01:32 AM
hey everywon this is John Simmons: as you no the weakend is over and we all have to work tomorow but i had a busy weakend:

well on saterday morning my ex girlfrend braut over are dauter: now i love my dauter but i had things to do: their was no one else arownd to watch her exsept my dog and he will hurt anything that tries to get her so i desided i wood put her out in the backyard with the dog wile i went out: i put her on the trampoline out back and she was really happy wen I was leaving:

i no most of you have sene my rotwiler but here he is agen: this is him wen i was leaving: wen i took this pic i was telling him {you have to watch her and make sure no one takes her or hurts her: if anywon comes in you go after them and try to kill them}: you can tell that hes lissening wen im telling him that: rite befor i left i took him off the leash so he cood get anywon who tried to get in the yard:

so im out driving around and i see this woman walking with some guy: i thought i cood take a great pic of her so i parkd my car and ran up ahed and hid in some plants: wen she came by i snappd the pic but she saw me and she sed {wat are you doing} i sed {i had to get a pic of you becaus yore changeing my life}: then she smiled and askd me to come back with her to her house: the guy was her brother so he didnt get mad:

so we got back to her house and wile she was getting undressd in the other room i set my camera on timer and it finely went off after we got done having sex: im looking at a magazine in this shot: she sed after we got done {yore incredible John: how did you lern that} i just smiled and got up and left: i had other stuff to do:

well i got out driving on the hiway and i was in my corvet: anyways this semi passes me: i got mad because he almost hit me and so i sped up to him and yelld out my window {who do you think you are: you make me sick}: he held up his middle finger and sed {get lost}: i think he thaut he was going to get rid of me that way but i wasnt going to take it so i thru my beer bottle at him: it hit him: he got mad and started swerving towards me: so i qwickly put my car in reverse and he missed me and went into another truck that had a tank on it: somehow the tank got loose and his semi tippd onto it: i went over and parkd my car on the side and got this shot: somewon yelld at me {you causd it: youll get arested for that}: i cood hear the polees coming so i qwickly got out:

somewon had told the polees about my car and the lisense so they caut up to me and started chasing: i skidded into a parking lot and got out and hid: they walked rite by me wen i was hiding under a car: rite after they passd i stood up and took this shot to tawnt them: after they got away from me i cood hear them yelling {come out we will find you:} i yelld back {i will win:}: they herd me yell and came running to find me: i new i had to get out of the parking lot:

i new the only way to get out was to distract the poleese: so i lit a cigaret and took off the fuel cap of a car and thru the cig in: it exploded as i ran: I got onto a motorcycle and i hotwired it qwickly as they ran to see the exploshen: i had calld dug on my cellphone to tell him what was going on: he had got their just as i jumpd the exploshen: he got this grate pic of it:

well wen i got home their was another ded cat: it was in the plants in the backyard: my dog had killd it: he had oviously wipped it around and thats how it landed in the plants: it had probably been going to my dauter: well i put my dauter inside and by that time my ex girlfrend was in the driveway: i gave her the baby and sed {she was good}: then they left:

i stayd home the rest of saterday nite and rested: today not much happened during the day but sumthing did tonite:

dug and i went to sum place downtown wear their was a band and comedy: well this woman was up their telling bad jokes: wen she was looking at another part of the audiense i yelld {yore not funny}: she lookd over but she coodnt tell who sed it: she kept going so i walkd over and started playing the drums: she then came walking up and i got out from behind the drums and went back by my seat: she sed {yore being rude: why dont you leave}: i lookd at her in the eye and i cood see evil so i spit in her face: then she started hitting me: dug got this pic from the other side of the room: people got up and held her back: i didnt fite back: i just laffed: i got kickd out tho:

well after that dug and i went to a party and i got sum women their: i only had 4 becaus i was still pretty tired from the day befor: i made sum good friends their and the guy in the red shirt told me {you can come back anytime john}: i sed {i will}

well i just got back from that and im hear resting: thats wat happend over my weakend: i hope yores was good: ill talk to you later:

John Simmons

06-13-2005, 01:42 AM
The pics are the best!

06-13-2005, 10:19 AM
John Simmons has the life I wish I always could have.

Noodle Arm
06-13-2005, 10:47 AM
she sed after we got done {yore incredible John: how did you lern that} i just smiled and got up and left: i had other stuff to do:

:lol: That's every mans dream.

06-13-2005, 01:12 PM
john - there's a cat that keeps jumping on my car - can i house-sit your dog?

06-13-2005, 01:41 PM
I have a hard time believing, well, any of that. Especially the hot pursuit.

A woman inviting you to her house to have sex after catching you taking pictures of her from the bushes; pervert! :rofl3:

06-13-2005, 01:43 PM
The need to have a show on Comedy Central called John Simmons all over the USA... A picture by picture adventure of brilliant man with a camera.

06-13-2005, 02:00 PM
John you must be a bad parent if you leave your kid by herself.

06-13-2005, 02:17 PM
I love his posts! Hey John, I guess you read Alexandra Days books about Carl the dog!

http://www.finheaven.com/images/imported/2005/06/037431152801_PIdpschmoo2TopRight726_SCMZ-1.jpg (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0374311528/ref=sib_dp_pt/002-9150187-0986422#reader-link)