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View Full Version : Whoo-Hoo!!! Pierpont has a new pen pal.



Jazzbow
10-22-2002, 10:53 PM
Many of the old timers will recall Tyrone's son Pierpont Weaver. You may recall he worked himself up from the gutter, attended Yale on a badmitton scholarship, and is now a self-made man of considerable financial resources. Well, it seems his Midas touch continues. He recently received an email offer he couldn't pass up....

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Subject: Discount sales of gold.
Date: Mon, 30 Sep 2002 06:06:09 +0100
From: "DR. EBENEZER KUFFOUR."

OKOAMPAH AGYEMAN & GYIMAH MIN. SERV.
NO.23 NKRUMAH CIRCLE KANESHIE ACCRA-GHANA.
TEL: nnn-nn-nnnnnn.
E-mail xxx@xxxxx.xxx

DEAR SIR/Madam,
(FULL COPORATE OFFER)

WE ARE SMALL SCALE ALLUVIAL GOLD MINERS IN THE EASTERN AND WESTERN PART OF GHANA. AT THE MOMENT WE HAVE IN STOCK ABOUT FIVE HUNDRED KILLOGRAMS OF ALLUVIAL GOLD DUST OF ABOUT 22.8 KARATS.

OUR PRICES IS (20%) TWENTY PERCENT LESS THE SECOND LONDON AT FIXING AT THE DAY OF PURCHASE. BUT IF WE HAVE TO SELL THE GOODS TO EUROPE , AMERICA OR ASIA THEN THE PRICE WILL VARY DEPENDING ON OUR NEGOTIATIONS. PREFERABLY A DIPLOMATIC COURIER WILL BRING THE GOODS TO USA. AFTER YOU HAVE TESTED AND CONFIRMED THE QUALITY AND THE AVAILABILITY OF THE MERCHANDISE, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DEFRAY THE COURIER CHARGES, FREIGHT CHARGES ETC. AND CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THE CONSIGNMENT.

YOU WILL HAVE TO ALSO TAKE OVER ALL OTHER EXPENSES LIKE GOVERNMENT TAXES, REFINERY CHARGES AND COURIER CHARGES FROM THE AIRPORT TO YOUR DESTINED SMELTER. THE BUYER PROVIDES TWO TICKETS AND ACCOMODATION FOR OUR TWO DELEGATES WHO WILL STAY DURING THE TRANSACTIONS WITH YOU IN YOUR PLACE OR WHERE THE CONSIGNMENT IS BEING TAKEN.

PRODUCT: GOLDDUST OR BULLION.
ORIGIN: GHANA WEST AFRICA.
BAR WEIGHT: 12.5KG (ALLUVIAL GOLD DUST)
PURITY: 99.95% OR BETTER.
QUANTITY: 500KG. DELIVERY: GHANA OR EUROPE.
PRICE: BASED ON THE SECOND LONDON FIXING AT THE DAY OF PURCHASE.
DISCOUNT: GROSS OF 20% TO BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: - FIFTEEN PERCENT (15%) TO THE BUYER INTERMEDIARIES. THE SELLER FURNISHES THE BUYERS BANK WITH ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS. THE BUYER COMES TO GHANA FOR A ROUND TABLE TALK AND SIGNING OF THE AGREEMENT BEFORE BUSINESS COMMENCES.

PLEASE CALL US IMMEDIATELY ON TEL NO: nnn-nn-nnnnnn. OR E- MAIL US ON xxx@xxxxx.xxx

WE ARE EXPECTING YOUR RESPONSE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

DR. EBENEZER KUFFOUR. (EXECUTIVE MANAGER)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour,

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to reply. Your original email was sent to my business account. I was on a moose hunting trip to central Iowa and of course there was no way for me check my email from that wilderness. I am pleased to say I bagged several of the viscous beasts with the loss of only two of my bearers (the moose hide quite effectively in the corn fields and pounce upon one with bared fangs).

From reading your message I'm convinced this is a matter which requires confidentiality, credulousness, and much sneaking about. Therefore I am replying to you from a more private email account. I ask that all future communcations be sent to me here.

Of course I am interested in your business proposal. I confess to being a bit confused about some of the details. If I understand correctly, you are short selling by 20% me a supply of alluvial gold (and you get 5% of the total amount of the discount for your efforts). However, I am expected to handle the incidental charges which may arise. Do you have an idea what those charges might end up totalling? Further, we are to meet in Ghana to sign the agreement, and you will then fly the 500kg of alluvial gold to the destination of my choice where I will assume ownership. What arrangements are made to insure the alluvial gold does in fact get delivered after I pay the original charges? Please, I will need these details as to how to procede from this point to the ultimate looting of my bank accounts.


Yours in Peace & Fertility,

Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Emanuel Weaver,

Thanks for your response and interest on our proposal, However I think you got every thing correct on your mail.

We are offering 20% off the L.M.E and the payment will be after refinery / reaching your destination.

Official export charges is $17,500USD per 50kg, as approved by the government. total export charges for 500kgs is $175,000USD. This is approved by the (P.M.M.C) Precious Mineral marketing Company.

The product will be insured by an insurance company with other legal documents which will back it up to ensure safe delivery.

Call me on 233 27 587908 for more details, And also let me have your private phone and fax numbers to make communication easy. Pls, let me know when you will arrive to Ghana to avoid any delay. Awaiting your urgent response and accept our equall services to all.

Sincerely yours, Ebenezer Kuffour.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour,

I'm so happy to hear from you. I trust you and your family had a pleasant weekend and are in good health. By the way, it is a small detail, but Emanuel is my middle name, Pierpont is my given name. I was named after my dear father's (and may his brain-dead body rest in peace) father and a famous series of movies.

I am pleased that we are on the same page when it comes to the details of the transaction. I feel it is of upmost importance for all parties involved in an "ipso facto fleecing" (as those devilish lawyers might call it) to understand exactly what is expected of them. For that reason I ran some figures based on today's gold price at the London's Metals Exchange and the entire consignment of alluvial gold would fetch approximately 5,675,586.60 in US dollars. My fiften percent would come out to about 851,337 US dollars. Your handling fee would be around a quarter of a million dollars which certainly seems fair. Indeed, such commercial ventures are wonderful things, are they not my friend?

The 175,000 US dollar Official export charge seems reasonable. I imagine, once the proper contracts are signed, it would be a simple enough matter to escrow a loan for that amount against the gold's delivery and/or insurance. Although perhaps an escargot account tied to the prime would be a safer gamble. Either way, we should be able to leverage the gold to cover most of the expenses of the transaction. Sounds simple enough to me.

I do have a tiny problem on my end, and that's how to move such a large sum of monies into my accounts, while at the same time minimizing the US taxes I'll be required to pay. I'm busily working the sums through various spread sheet formulas to see what works best. As they say, funny money in - funny money out!

I tried to call you, but the exchange was busy. Phones are such archaic devices. I much prefer, as I'm sure you do, to handle my transactions via an online conference. Voice would be good enough, although I do have the capacity to video conference. As for my FAX number, I prefer not to use my company's FAX for this delicate matter (my secretary is dreadfully nosey and a gossip to boot -- well, next time I'll know better than to hire eye-candy). I am in the process of setting up a private FAX number you can contact and I will email you the number as soon as it is available.

Yours in Peace and Fertility

Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.

Jazzbow
10-22-2002, 11:02 PM
Pierpont is pensively awaiting a response. Oh joy! Such easy money to earn!!!!

Jazzbow
10-23-2002, 12:45 AM
My God, it is a good thing Pierpont has located a business man of such obvious professionalism. Here is his latest, followed by Pierpont's reply (which necessitated some repitition):


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir,

This is to inform you that we are still especting your response to our last mail to you.

Thanks. E. Kuffour



---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour,

That's strange, I had replied to you yesterday. The communication lines in Accra-Ghana must be a bit flummoxed, because I could not get my call through to you either. More on that later, but now down to the shadey business at hand.

At any rate, as I mentioned in my unreceived email (and some of this will be repeated if the previous email does eventually arrive in the interrum) -- I am pleased that we are on the same page when it comes to the details of the transaction. I feel it is of upmost importance for both of us to understand exactly what is expected as we go about our larceney. For that reason I ran some figures based on yesterday's gold price at the London's Metals Exchange and the entire consignment of alluvial gold would fetch approximately 5,675,586.60 in US dollars. My fifteen percent would come out to about 851,337 US dollars. Your handling fee would be around a quarter of a million dollars which certainly seems fair.

The 175,000 US dollar Official export charge seems reasonable. I imagine, once the proper contracts are signed, it would be a simple enough matter to escrow a loan for that amount against the gold's delivery and/or insurance. Although perhaps an escargot account tied to the prime would be a safer gamble. Either way, we should be able to use the gold as collateral to cover most of the expenses of the transaction.

I do have a tiny problem on my end, and that's how to move such a large sum of monies into my accounts, while at the same time minimizing the US taxes I'll be required to pay. I'm busily working the sums through various spread sheet formulas to see what works best. As they say, funny money in - funny money out! I think I am nearing as satifactory solution that will benefit us both financially!

I also mentioned that I preferred to handle my business via online conferences rather than by phone. I'm sure the offices of your gold mining consortium are set up for either voice or video conference. I am also hesitant to use my company's FAX machine. The walls have ears and the water-cooler is abuzz with rumors and all. For that reason I am at present arranging for another, more secure, FAX. I believe this will aid in the looming bamboozling considerably.

Yours in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.

3W
10-23-2002, 08:04 AM
What the fuc' was that all about!!??:confused: :eek: :goof:

Jazzbow
10-23-2002, 12:26 PM
Well, this fellow is either on to Pierpont, or he is a total boob who can't figure out how to access his own email account. Time for Pierpont to get testy with him...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Ebenezer Kuffour,

I'm beginning to get a bit puzzled by this exchange of emails. After you failed to receive my last reply I promptly answered you. You have not answered that email which leads me to believe you did not receive it either. Couple that with my inability to get a connection at the phone number you provided, and I'm beginning to suspect the electronic communications in your company are incompetently handled. I certainly hope your business skills are better.

This is my last response to your offer, and it is sent to your alternative email address. I expect a prompt reply. I am a busy man with multiple transactions to juggle and have no time to waste on games.

I have also set up a private phone number where you can send a FAX transmission as well as contact me by voice. If I do not answer the phone and you wish to FAX, start sending the FAX before the beep. You may record a voice message after the beep. The number is 206-600-5600. I do not know the country code, you'll need to get that from your local operator.

Yours in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont Emanuel Weaver, ESQ.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

BTW, yes -- that is a real phone number. It is some sort of a free web based answering/FAX service. Pierpont could really use a female with a nice voice to personalize the answering message. A high-powered executive like him does everything with class after all!:lol: :lol: :lol:

harmonkoz
10-23-2002, 01:23 PM
F'ck Pierpont and this lame a$$ thread of you talking to yourself. You are approaching Beefblower status with crap like this. :rolleyes:

MarinoFan
10-23-2002, 01:33 PM
Originally posted by 3W
What the fuc' was that all about!!??:confused: :eek: :goof:

I'd rather be bored by this than see your nasty ass picture and read your bull**** rants. You suck and so does your team.:monkey: :goof:

RobertHoover
10-23-2002, 01:38 PM
You're really on your game today MarinoFan.

MarinoFan
10-23-2002, 01:41 PM
Yeah, I got on it as soon as I got off your mom.

harmonkoz
10-23-2002, 01:44 PM
MarinoFan must not have gotten to sniff where old Danny boy laid his underwear last night.

He seems a little tense today. :) :D :lol:

MarinoFan
10-23-2002, 01:47 PM
hehe, nope, I was only allowed to sniff the contents of your daddies depends. Or else I'd be as happy as flies on, well, YOU.

harmonkoz
10-23-2002, 01:49 PM
I was only allowed to sniff the contents of your daddies depends

You are a sick bastard.

RobertHoover
10-23-2002, 01:51 PM
I'm guessing you didn't want to type that out Marino.

harmonkoz
10-23-2002, 01:53 PM
:lol: He is a dumb-a$$ Hoov. He smacks himself.

Thats why I like to call him "Master Smack" :rolleyes:

MarinoFan
10-23-2002, 01:55 PM
haha I chose to sniff what I like. I aint the ones living in some dream land that ole Drewy boy is creating for you. Pathetic.

harmonkoz
10-23-2002, 01:58 PM
I chose to sniff what I like

Maybe I need to change your nickname to
$hit-Sniffing-Marino-Stalker?

RobertHoover
10-23-2002, 01:59 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
haha I chose to sniff what I like. I aint the ones living in some dream land that ole Drewy boy is creating for you. Pathetic.


So you choose to sniff Koz's dad's adult diaper. Not that is sick.

MarinoFan
10-23-2002, 02:58 PM
hahaha, that's what happens when you try typing on here and working and talking on the phone, all at the same time. Sh!t, I should've waited for that one. Man you got me.

Jazzbow
10-24-2002, 05:02 PM
The deal is still on! Pierpont's Nubian Goldmining partner calls:

<embed src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/sound/gold3a.WAV" autostart="false">

harmonkoz
10-24-2002, 05:22 PM
WHAT THE F'CK!!!???!!!¿¿¿ :confused:

Take this Pierpont crap and stick it up your hoo-ha.

T for Texas
10-24-2002, 05:32 PM
What you sh|theads apparently are missing is that Pierpont Weaver is actually responding to a gold scam run by some stupid prick in Ghana.

Trust me. I have seen Pierpont work before, and this is likely to get pretty damn funny pretty damn quick.

harmonkoz
10-24-2002, 05:38 PM
Who the f'ck cares? In case you cow raping, bratwurst eating ho's have not noticed. This is a football smack board.

Now run along girls. We will be bringing an a$$ beating your way on December 22nd.

inFINSible
10-24-2002, 06:12 PM
Originally posted by T for Texas
What you sh|theads apparently are missing is that Pierpont Weaver is actually responding to a gold scam run by some stupid prick in Ghana.

Trust me. I have seen Pierpont work before, and this is likely to get pretty damn funny pretty damn quick.

Oh!!! Well why didn't he make that clear in his novel? That has side splitting hilarity written all over it.

As far as getting pretty damn funny pretty damn quick, he past pretty damn quick a pretty long time ago, which I guess, in itself is pretty damn funny.

T for Texas
10-24-2002, 06:16 PM
I would initially point out that while I do not rape cows, or anything else for that matter, I believe that I would rather be spending my time doing that than having them "stump-broken," which you apparently do ~ sporting a pic of your latest "hump" as your avatar.

Secondly, if this is a football forum, what in the F |_| C K are you doing engaging in a conversation regarding adult diapers? I suppose that turns you on.

Finally, if none of that got through, and I feel almost certain that it did not, maybe you will understand this:

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Bet ya understand that, don't ya, bull-humper?

inFINSible
10-24-2002, 06:19 PM
Ole~!!

harmonkoz
10-24-2002, 07:20 PM
I would initially point out that while I do not rape cows, or anything else for that matter, I believe that I would rather be spending my time doing that than having them "stump-broken," which you apparently do ~ sporting a pic of your latest "hump" as your avatar.

The only thing that avatar represents is the ass whipping you will suffer from the Bills at the frozen tundra, in the snow. (I will be there to witness the event)


Secondly, if this is a football forum, what in the F |_| C K are you doing engaging in a conversation regarding adult diapers? I suppose that turns you on.

I never said jack about your favorite attire, that was Master Smack himself MarinoFan. He was pointing out that he liked to sniff them like you do.


Finally, if none of that got through, and I feel almost certain that it did not, maybe you will understand this:

Right back at you cheese boy.
http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Now, go take your grade school smack and run along little girl before you get hit by a car. :evil:

Jazzbow
10-24-2002, 07:32 PM
Pierpont's terse response worked. He received two communications from the good Doctor. Here is the first:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

thanks for your message, We have been expecting your response which I just received today.

Please understand that communication problem is all over not a play If you try and it failed you have to try again until you get through most times the line might be engaged. The number again is +233-27-587908 the line is always ready.

In this stage what are we going to do ? and what was the content of the last mail which did not reach us. I will try your phone today and also try to reach me on phone for more talk.

Sorry for the delay and accept our equall services to all.

Reply ASAP.

Regards.

E. Kuffour

Jazzbow
10-24-2002, 07:33 PM
And here is the second. Holy guacamole, the fellow is ready to ship the gold off to Weaver! There couldn't possibly be any strings attached I'm sure.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

This is the second mail of today, are you coming down to Ghana as soon as possible or would you like the product to be moved to your destination by us?

Lets know the next stage without much delay we are ever ready for business and actions.

E. Kuffour

Mr.Reality
10-24-2002, 08:11 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
I was only allowed to sniff the contents of your daddies depends
Perhaps that would explain your penchant for brown nosing and ass kissing.

Oh, and this thread sucks.

Jazzbow
10-24-2002, 08:32 PM
This nitwit evidently thinks all it is going to take is an email and Pierponbt is going to wire $175,000 to his bank and fly to Ghana so he can be beat to a pulp until he produces more. Pierpont is outraged! He wants some comical looking forged documents and he wants 'em now!

Anyhoo... the good Doctor seems to be in a bit of a hurry. Surely this can't be a case of "the bum's rush."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Weaver,

we have receved your mail, and we wait for your final plane and arrival schedul, If you will find it difficult to travel with the shipment charges, we can give the company's account to pay inn the money for your arrival.

call on phone for further talks.

Thanks we are most grateful

E. Kuffour

Sabre Ally
10-24-2002, 08:34 PM
Who the heck is Pierpoint and why should we care? :confused:

Pierpont_Weaver
10-24-2002, 09:28 PM
Originally posted by Sabre Ally
Who the heck is Pierpoint and why should we care? :confused:

:confused:

What do you mean who is Pierpont Weaver. I'm Pierpont Weaver of course.

As to why you should care... well, I don't know, but you little people seem to bask in the reflected glow of us gazillionare celebrities I suppose. <img src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/bong.gif">

Sabre Ally
10-24-2002, 09:35 PM
Ah! Hello Pierpont.

I didn't know you were a poster, I thought it was just something he was making up. LOL. Sorry.

Pierpont_Weaver
10-24-2002, 09:45 PM
No problem. Jazzbow is my butler. He's a bit of an odd duck ever since that potted plant go knocked off the balconey and cronked him on the head. He means well though.

Jazzbow
10-24-2002, 09:53 PM
Dear Dr. E. Kuffour,

Good heavens man, get a grip on yourself will you? It is far too early for anybody to be flying anywhere. We haven't even completed any of the preliminary paperwork. My God, we haven't even forged a implausable contract yet. I'm sure your handshake is as good as your word, but I do think we should have something on paper. Be patient my friend, we must cross the T's and dot the I's. Soon enough we'll be toasting each other on the successful conclusion of this transaction.

For example, in your second email to me you refered to the Precious Mineral Marketing Company. I went to their website -- http://www.ghana-com.co.uk/Economy....ttingUpBusiness -- and found this bit of business that needs to be attended to:

"A foreign investor may team up with a Ghanaian entrepreneur or company for a joint venture, usually in the form of a partnership or a limited company ... Application for registration of a company is made directly, or through agents or solicitors, to the registrar-general. A company is duly registered after the company’s regulations have been submitted to the registrar of companies and a certificate of incorporation issued."

I think the next step is for me to contact the registrar-general and establish our joint venture, or is that something you can handle easier from your end? Please research the matter and tell me the particulars I'll need to provide so we may procede with this flim-flamming with at least a facade of legitamacy.

We also need to talk. Your phone service is absolutely horrid. I believe the recent rash of solar flares, or perhaps baboons nibbling on the wires, is causing intermittent outages. With that in mind, I've also requested that you contact your IT department so we can have an onLine conference. Have they returned with an answer as to what conferencing software you use? If they need advice I can offer some suggestions. I look forward to conferencing with you and nailing down many of the loose details in this illusionary partnership of ours.

I also believe I've found a way around the tax issue. I have to work out a few more details here and I think we'll have a means of smoothing the whole affair. I'll have more information on that soon.

Is there any information in particular you need from me? Surely you'll need some information from me to draw up the Certificates of Insurance, etc.

Your in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont Emanuel Weaver

harmonkoz
10-24-2002, 10:25 PM
Man you are definitely one short of a six pack.
Someone obviously has hit you with a very large object. My guess is that it was in the head area.

Captain, does the ip trail of this Pierpont Fudge Packer and Jazzbow Fudge Packer lead to the same deranged individual?

If he does not have a head injury, as implied earlier, he may have his panties bunched a weeee bit tight.

Mr.Reality
10-24-2002, 10:27 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Captain, does the ip trail of this Pierpont Fudge Packer and Jazzbow Fudge Packer lead to the same deranged individual?
Translation: HELP!!

Jazzbow
10-24-2002, 10:28 PM
I almost forgot. pierpont got this reply from the good doctor. I'm sure Pierpont will be replying later tonight. Of course I doubt Weaver leaves him off the hook so easy. this boob is going to have to forge some documents sooner or later.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

Thanks I understand you very much to register , I want to assure when you arrive all this will be done unless you don't want to come over. To register a comapny here is possible and easy with a local partner and the informations need from you will be when you arrive your name , address, and your company informations also sort of identification such as driver's licence or international passport copy or any other ID.

Awaiting your response.



Thanks.

E. Kuffour

MarinoFan
10-24-2002, 10:41 PM
Originally posted by Jazzbow
I almost forgot. pierpont got this reply from the good doctor. I'm sure Pierpont will be replying later tonight. Of course I doubt Weaver leaves him off the hook so easy. this boob is going to have to forge some documents sooner or later.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

Thanks I understand you very much to register , I want to assure when you arrive all this will be done unless you don't want to come over. To register a comapny here is possible and easy with a local partner and the informations need from you will be when you arrive your name , address, and your company informations also sort of identification such as driver's licence or international passport copy or any other ID.

Awaiting your response.



Thanks.

E. Kuffour

CRACKHEADS!!! Those big yellow things on your head is crack. freaking wierd ass people, tell you what.

Mr.Reality
10-24-2002, 10:42 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
CRACKHEADS!!! Those big yellow things on your head is crack.
Who do we look like? Mercury Morris?

Jazzbow
10-24-2002, 11:16 PM
Due to an unexpected snafu at dinner Pierpont made it back too late to add the lawyer's reply to his email. He'll have to pass that on tomorrow. For now he's dangled a tentative date for his trip to Accra...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour,

I've been checking the calendar and the projections on the gold market. It looks like the best window of opportunity for selling the gold will be in mid December. I'm guessing it would take at most a week or two from the point of finalizing our suspect deal to selling the alluvial gold. For that reason I am presently planning on making the trip to meet you in Accra Ghana in either the last week of November, or the first week in December.

In the meanwhile we should have a voice conference. You have not replied on the software your company uses, which leads me to believe you may be unfamiliar with the technology. I suggest, as a very simple-minded introduction to this sham conference, that you consider loading the Roger-Wilco software (go to http://rogerwilco.gamespy.com/produ...ds/rwdload.html for the client software). It may not seem very business like, but is very simple free conferencing software for IT departments unfamiliar with the technology to practice with. Of course if you have other software you use, please advise and I'll get my computer people working on the interface.

I still believe that Registering Weaver Enterprises as a foreign partner of your company is best handled before I get there. We want to avoid as many last minute glitches to this deal as possible -- after all, I'm sure some unexpected "surprise" snags are going to rear their heads We should get as many details out of the way early as possible, there will be enough last minute expenses we'll have to scramble to take care of as it is.

Also, I wonder if you could FAX me, or attach to an emails, a Bill of Lading showing your ownership of the gold, as well as the Certificate of Insurance? I'll be forwarding my company particulars, as well as bank account information, later this week.

I must say I am pleased by this deal, although a bit puzzled as to why you seem unwilling to send me the information I request. We must have faith and trust in each other for this venture to proceed to the anticipated financial legerdermane.

Your in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont Emanuel Weaver

Jazzbow
10-25-2002, 12:40 AM
Well, no answer from the good doctor today. Perhaps Pierpont has scared him off with the document requests. Time to pass on Buck's letter with the $50,000 bait.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Dr. E. Kuffour,

I trust all is well with you and your family. I'm a bit sore myself. Clumsy me, I fell off of the back of a turnip truck today and sprained my back. Fortunately it is nothing serious and I should be back to full strength in no time at all.

I've been very busy working on the details of this partnership on my end. I'm still waiting to hear your opinion of the proposed late November/early December date for our meeting. Plans on this side are prodeeding nicely. I've attached a scan of an letter I received from my lawyer. We've postioned some funds in Ghana and await the documents I've requested from you so we can begin moving this transaction forward.

In addition, we believe that for tax purposes it would be best if we were to shelter this alluvial gold sale under the umbrella of a charity. This would have the effect of releasing more actual cash for all involved. I know it may seem a bit unethical to an honest businessman such as yourself, but these types of tax shelters are commonly employed in the United States.

If it meets your approval I would like you to write a letter indicated you would like us to handle the details of a "donation" to the charity. If you approve of this approach I will send you further details to aide you in writing said letter.

As always, Yours in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont Emanuel Weaver

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

attached:

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

Sabre Ally
10-25-2002, 12:56 AM
:lol:

Jazzbow
10-25-2002, 01:30 AM
Whooo-Hooo, the bait worked. First we get another phone call from the dear Doctor...

<embed src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/sound/gold7a.WAV" autostart="false">

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 10:44 AM
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Q. Will my mail be delayed?
A. At this time, there may be some delays depending on the destination of the mail piece. Please remember the Postal Service is doing everything possible to ensure the safety and security of employees and customers.

Q. How has the current closure of the Brentwood facility affected mail delivery in Washington, DC? Does a letter normally requiring 3 days for delivery now require 5 or 6?
A. No. There have been some delays due to the additional security precautions, but mail for the District of Columbia is now being processed at two nearby facilities.

Q. Are you going to shut down the mail?
A. The Postal Service is taking every possible precaution to protect the health and safety of the public and its employees, and doing that while keeping the mail moving. Some offices have been closed for environmental testing, and a very small number of offices will remain closed until they are sanitized. However, the mail processing activities, and the employees who performed them, have been relocated to other sites. The mail is an indispensable part of life – it is vitally important to the American economy and to individual freedom. The Postal Service will not allow terrorists to stop it.

Q. Are you considering any restrictions or limitations on mail delivery in certain areas?
A. No. We are not. As long as medical experts tell us that the general public is not being exposed to an unmanageable risk, we will keep the mail moving. At the same time, we will do everything possible to protect our employees, who are the first line of defense in this war against terror.

Q. What’s the latest on the investigative front – any new developments in tracing the origins of any of the contaminated letters?
A. We’re not providing details of the ongoing investigation, but we are making progress. Working with the FBI, we are exploring a number of leads. If anyone has any information, you can provide it by calling 1-800-CRIME-TV or at www.amw.com.

Q. What should I do if I find a letter or package to be suspicious?
A. If you get a package or piece of mail that you're suspicious of, the first thing to do is stay calm. Don't handle, shake, bump, or sniff the suspicious item. Notify your local law enforcement authorities right away. Isolate the mail piece and keep others away from the area. If possible, put the mail piece in a zip-locked plastic bag and wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water. The simple act of paying attention to your incoming mail is the best way to keep the mail safe. For updated information on the safety and security of the mail, please visit our web site at www.usps.com.

Q. Is the mail nationwide running slower due to the anthrax scares?
A. We are aware of no systemic delays due to the anthrax incidents.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 10:45 AM
Q. What’s being done to ensure that mail items won’t be damaged by the sanitization technology that the Postal Service is using?
A. The Postal Service is working with the mailing industry to develop procedures to ensure that sanitization of the mail will not damage sensitive items in the mail. Sanitization technology is currently being tested on a wide range of film products, digital and magnetic storage devices, laboratory samples, food and plant products, and “smart” credit cards with embedded chips to ensure that all business mail can be safely processed through the postal system.


Q. Is the sanitization technology that the Postal Service is currently using safe? Can it be used on food products in the mail?
A. The first commercial irradiator was used in the 1960s to kill any lingering anthrax germs in lambswool sweaters. Though safe to people, it will kill germs, biological substances and any DNA, and can damage chemicals. Electron beam technology is currently used in food processing. It is not based on nuclear radiation and is considered safe.


Q. How is mail sanitization being conducted?
A. The Postal Service is using a three-tier approach is for sanitizing the mail:

Immediate action - Using available off-site facilities to decontaminate.
Short-term action - Identifying key postal locations for the centralized processing and sanitization of mail.
Long-term action - Identifying and building into existing processes sanitization equipment that is completely safe for employees and customers.

Q. Has mail transport equipment (trays, sacks and rolling stock) been decontaminated? Does the Postal Service identify and decontaminate equipment that may have had contact with a contaminated letter or parcel? What steps has the Postal Service taken to ensure the security and integrity of mail containers in general?
A. Postal Service facilities, including the Mail Transport Equipment Service Centers (MTESC), are following established procedures to inspect all mail transport equipment and notify the appropriate agencies as necessary. In instances where there is a confirmed exposure, the equipment is decontaminated. In instances where the material is unknown but suspect, the Postal Service treats the scene as a HAZMAT instance, isolating equipment until a determination is made of the nature of the suspect material.


Q. What happens to the mail that is in-house when a plant is closed? Is it sanitized? If so, how long does this take? Can the Postal Service provide information on how much mail is in-house and how long it will be delayed?
A. Mail is held on site when a plant closes. The Postal Service will not be allowed into the facility until cleared by the CDC and/or appropriate local health officials. No specific timetable can be determined because each instance is unique in nature.


Q. What will it cost the Postal Service to deal with anthrax?
A. Costs include, but are not limited to: testing and treating employees, safety equipment for employees, sanitization of the mail, and testing and decontamination of postal facilities. The White House has authorized $175 million for the Postal Service to purchase masks and gloves for postal employees and sanitization equipment for processing mail. On November 8, Postmaster General Jack Potter testified before the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Treasury & Postal Affairs to ask for a one-time appropriation of up to $2 billion to help offset the unanticipated decline in mail volume this year. In addition, Potter said the Postal Service is asking Congress to provide about $3 billion to help cover one-time direct costs, including the purchase of sanitization equipment; and the testing, cleaning and restoration of NY facilities lost or damaged in the Sept. 11 attacks.


Q. How can customers get updated information about facility closing and service impacts resulting from anthrax contamination?
A. The most up-to-date information can be found in the Mail Facility/Service Updates page of the special section dedicated to security of the mail on the U.S. Postal Service website at http://www.usps.com/news/2001/press/mailsecurity/updates.htm.


Q. Where can I find information on keeping mailrooms safe from anthrax threats?
A. The U.S. Postal Service website features a General Services Administration (GSA) training module with information on how to respond to an anthrax threat in a mailroom, which is available at http://www.usps.com/news/2001/press/serviceupdates.htm. The module lays out actions that can be taken if there is a potential anthrax threat in a mailroom, including countermeasures for staff to defend and protect against these threats.

This section of the website also features clips and a full version of the Postal Service video, "Biological Threat: Protecting Your Mailroom", which features information on keeping mail centers safe. Business customers can order a copy of the complete video free at www.usps.com/shop by clicking on Stamp Products, then Mailroom Video. Or call toll-free, 1-877-702-6215. Orders are being fulfilled as quickly as possible.


Q. I use ink-drying processes that sometimes leave a residual powder on the mail. Will the Postal Service still accept my mailing?
A. If it is determined that the powder is a substance that is normally used in these processes such as cornstarch, then yes. However, in an effort reduce the number of “false calls” related to anthrax contamination concerns, many printers and mail preparation centers have voluntarily stopped using ink-drying and wrapping processes that are known to leave residual powder.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 10:47 AM
absentee balloting materials — Postcard applications, ballots, voting
instructions, and envelopes sent through the mail without postage
prepayment. This public service enables U.S. expatriates, members of the
Armed Forces in active service, and the U.S. Merchant Marine (and their
spouses and dependents) to apply for registration and to vote when
absent from the place of voting residence.
accelerated reply mail (ARM) — Origin caller service provided for reply mail
at a postal facility other than the one to which the mail is addressed. Reply
mail from the caller’s customers is captured by the USPS for either
immediate delivery to the caller or reshipment by Express Mail to the
caller’s address.
accepts — The total number of mailpieces processed by an optical character
reader and assigned to the correct stacker (that is, open bins).
accountable mail — Mail that requires the signature of the addressee or
addressee’s agent upon receipt to provide proof of delivery or
indemnification for loss or damage. This includes Express Mail and
special service mail such as certified mail, collect on delivery, insured mail
for more than $50, registered mail and return receipt for merchandise.
accountable materials — Certain items of inherent monetary value. These
include postal items such as aerogrammes, international reply coupons,
postage stamps, philatelic products, stamped envelopes and postal
cards, blank postal money order forms, or any unsold item awaiting
destruction. These also include service items provided to the general
public in behalf of certain federal agencies such as migratory-bird hunting
and conservation stamps. (Also see stamp credit.)
accountbook — A batch of forms (Form 1551), one for each week of the
postal fiscal year. The forms are used to record the daily transactions of
post offices and financial reporting units. Moreover, they serve as a
single-source document by post offices to accumulate financial data for
periodic reporting on the statement of account.
account identifier code (AIC) — A three-digit code that assigns financial
transactions to the proper account on the general ledger. Each AIC is
assigned a corresponding general ledger.
(Also see FASTforward .) SM
12 Publication 32, May 1997
Updated With Postal Bulletin Revisions Through November 4, 1999
backstamp — To mark the back of a mailpiece with a postmarking or canceling
device to show that the piece was received, dispatched, or missent. (Also
see postmark.)
backtrack — To deliver mail to a point that the letter carrier has mistakenly
bypassed.
bag rack — (See sorting rack.)
Baldrige Award — Named after the late Secretary of Commerce Malcolm
Baldrige, the official title is the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award.
The purpose of the award is to encourage organizations to examine their
current state of quality and to become more involved in the movement
toward continuous quality improvement.
balloon — (informal) A huge sack or pouch of mail.
balloon rate — A rate charged for Priority Mail and Parcel Post items that
weigh less than 15 pounds and measure more than 84 inches but no more
than 108 inches in combined length and girth.
barcode (BC) — A series of vertical bars and spaces that represent any
numerical series, most often a correct ZIP Code for the delivery address
on a mailpiece. The barcode facilitates automated processing by barcode
readers and scanners. Barcodes that may be used for postal processing
are POSTNET, Interleaved 2-of-5, Code 39, Code 128, and UCC/EAN
Code 128. (Also see delivery point barcode and Postal Numeric Encoding
Technique.)
barcode clear zone — A rectangular area in the lower right part of a letter-size
mailpiece that must be kept free of printing and symbols, except for the
barcode itself. This requirement allows automated processing machines
to read or apply a barcode.
barcoded container label — A tray or sack label that has a barcode that can
be read and processed by an automated tray or sack handling system.
The barcode is an Interleaved 2-of-5 code.
barcode read area — A small area within the barcode clear zone in which the
barcode must be printed. This area is defined by the position of the
leftmost bar of the barcode and the bottom edge of the bar.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 10:49 AM
cachet — In philately, a printed decoration on mail matter (such as a design
or inscription), often referring to the new postage stamp on a first day
cover. The design can be hand-created, printed, rubber-stamped, or
pasted, usually on the front left side of the envelope.
caddy cart — (See satchel cart.)
cage — A secure, enclosed area in a post office, separated from the rest of the
workroom, where registered mail and other accountable mail is kept.
caller box — (See caller service.)
caller service — An optional delivery service provided for a fee at all post
offices to customers with large volumes of mail, to customers needing
multiple separations, or to customers who need a post office box number
address when no post office boxes are available.
cancel — To render a postage stamp (except a precanceled stamp) unusable,
usually at the point of original entry into the mailstream. This is done by
using a facer-canceler or a handstamp (for bulkie, fragile, or odd-shaped
mail). (Also see mail processing and revenue assurance.)
canceling machine — A mail processing machine that cancels a postage
stamp and places a postmark on a letter. (Also see facer-canceler.)
cancellation — A postmark that contains the post office name, state, ZIP
Code, and month, day, and year that the mail matter was canceled. (Also
see hand-stamped cancellation.)
carrier — An individual contractor or private company (airline, trucking
company, railroad, etc.) that transports the mail from one postal facility to
another. (Also see contact point; compare with letter carrier.)
Carrier Alert — A community service program in which a letter carrier
attempts to detect possible illness or accident suffered by the customer
(for example, elderly persons or persons with disabilities). When alerted
by an accumulation of mail, the carrier reports the matter to local social
service agencies for appropriate follow-up. This service is provided jointly
with private agencies (that is, the National Association of Letter Carriers
and the National Rural Letter Carriers’ Association).
carrier associate — (See rural carrier associate.)
31 Glossary of Postal Terms
daylight container — Mail transported at a specified transportation rate in
containers (owned by carriers) on airline flights scheduled to depart
between 6:01 a.m. and 8:59 p.m.
deadhead — A vehicle that travels without mail. To retrace part of a route
without delivering mail, such as along a street with houses on one side
only.
dead letter office/dead parcel branch — (See mail recovery center.)
dead mail — Mail that is undeliverable as addressed and cannot be returned
to the sender (usually because there is no return address on the piece).
defective — (informal) A damaged pouch, sack, lock, or key.
definitive stamp — A regular postage stamp issued in unlimited quantities or
often as part of a thematic series. These stamps vary in denomination and
remain on sale for an indefinite period. (Compare with commemorative
stamp and special-issue stamp.) (Also called regular-issue stamp.)
deliver — To take mail from the post office to the customer or to provide
customer pickup — whether post office box, window, or dock.
delivery — The act of taking mail from the post office to the customer. The mail
itself taken to the customer’s business or residential delivery address or
picked up at a post office — whether post office box, window, or dock.
delivery address — The location (destination) to which the USPS is to deliver
a mailpiece. Except for mail prepared with a detached address label, the
piece must show the address of the addressee (intended recipient) on the
side bearing the postage. It is usually placed in the lower right. (Compare
with return address.)
delivery address format — Address elements required by the USPS on all
mailpieces — that is, the intended recipient’s name; either general
delivery, a house or building number and street name (plus
apartment/suite number, if applicable), or a post office box number or rural
route or highway contract route designation with a box number; and city,
state or state abbreviation, and ZIP Code or ZIP+4. Placement of this
information on the mailpiece determines the dimension considered the
length of letter-size mail. (Compare with alternative addressing format.)

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 10:54 AM
U.S. SERVICES
Whether shipping across town or across the country, Airborne can help. We offer
guaranteed, on-time delivery to virtually every ZIP code in the United States. And
we provide a wide array of delivery options to meet your shipping needs.
 Same Day Service by Sky Courier — Urgent delivery on the next available flight.
 Airborne 10:30 AM — Guaranteed delivery by 10:30 a.m. to primary delivery areas only.
 Airborne Express AM — Delivery by noon the next business day.
 Airborne Next Afternoon — Delivery of shipments up to 5 lbs. by 3 p.m. the next business day.
 Airborne Two Day — Delivery by 5:00 p.m. the second business day.
 Airborne Ground — Guaranteed delivery within 1-5 business days.
 airborne@home — Residential delivery for high-volume shippers. Choice of air delivery within
2-4 business days or ground delivery within 2-7 business days.
Delivery times listed above are based on delivery to primary or metropolitan areas. To determine
the guaranteed delivery times for your specific shipment, use the U.S. Transit Times calculator at
www.airborne.com.
Additional Service Options:
 Saturday Service
 Hold for Pickup Service
 Prepaid Flight-ReadySM
 Lab PackSM
 Airborne eCourier
For additional information about these special services or any of Airborne’s U.S. Services,
see the U.S. Services section on www.airborne.com.
 For information on filling out the U.S. Airbill, click here.
4
INTERNATIONAL SERVICES
Every day, Airborne Express delivers to more than 200 countries around the world. We’re
experts in international delivery – from our knowledge of local procedures in each country
to navigating customs. So you can trust Airborne to provide the services you need to be
successful in the global marketplace.
 Next Flight Out by Sky Courier — The fastest international delivery available on the next flight out.
 International Air Express — Door-to-door delivery of documents and packages up to 150 lbs., usually
within 1-4 business days including customs clearance.
 International Air Freight — Air delivery of shipments of any size. Choose door-to-door, door-to-airport
or airport-to-airport delivery.
 Ocean Freight — The most cost-effective delivery option for less time-sensitive shipments. Choose
FCL, LCL or project cargo shipments.
For additional information about delivery times for your specific shipment, use the International Transit
Times calculator at www.airborne.com.
For additional information about Airborne’s International Services, see International Services
at www.airborne.com.
International Express Documentation
To ensure quick customs clearance, the following documents are required for international shipments.
TYPE OF SHIPMENT DOCUMENTS NEEDED
International Air Express Document
International Air Express Package
(Shipments with a declared value)
Shipments from U.S. to Puerto Rico
and the U.S. Virgin Islands
Canadian Shipment
(Value $0.01 - $20.00 CAD)
Canadian Shipment
(Value $20.01 - $1,600.00 CAD)
Canadian Shipment
(Value over $1,600.00 CAD)
 International Express Airbill only
I N T E R N A T I O N A L S H I P P I N G D O C U M E N T S
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice (Original and 3 copies)
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice (If taxable)
 International Express Airbill only
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice or value supportive document
(Original and 3 copies)
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice (Original and 3 copies)
or
 Canadian Customs Invoice (In triplicate)
 For information on filling out the International Express Airbill, click here.
 For information on filling out a Commercial Invoice, click here.
5
AIRBORNE BILLING SERVICES
Airborne provides several convenient invoicing options so you can choose that which best
meets your billing needs.
 Online Billing — Simplify your invoicing process by receiving your invoices via e-mail and paying
them online. For additional information or to register, see Technology Tools on www.airborne.com.
 Credit Card Billing — If you prefer to pay for your shipments via credit card, choose Credit Card
Billing. Each individual shipment will be charged to your credit card at the time the shipment is
tendered. To sign up, fill out the Credit Card Billing form and fax it to 206-285-1546.
 Paper Invoicing — Airborne offers a variety of paper invoicing formats. Choose from detailed
weekly invoices or group invoices, combining the shipping activities of multiple locations.
Invoicing Questions? Call 1-800-722-0081, Monday-Friday, 6 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Pacific time.
CLAIMS SERVICE
Airborne replies promptly to any loss, damage, or service claim. In the event of
loss or damage, please be sure to file your own claim. Airborne policy prevents
sales representatives from filing claims. Also, we are unable to honor claims to audit
proof-of-delivery times. Should you need to file a claim, please follow these guidelines:
 If you are reporting a late shipment, simply call 1-800-AIRBORNE (1-800-247-2676) within 15 days
of the shipment date to report the service failure. No additional claim form is necessary.
 If you are reporting a missing or damaged shipment, Airborne Express must receive your written
claim within 90 days of the shipment date.
 If you purchased Asset Protection, Airborne Express must receive your written claim within one
year of the shipment date.
 After receiving your written claim, Airborne will process your claim and then provide you with
a final written determination. Do not withhold payment on an invoice, as this will slow up the
claims process. You will receive a reimbursement check if the claim is processed.
 You may file a written claim from www.airborne.com. Choose “Write to Us.”
6
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Our customer service experts are the best in the business. In fact, they have earned Airborne
Express the Brand Keys® Customer Loyalty Award for 5 years running. Just call us anytime,
day or night, and we’ll be happy to assist you.
U.S. Shipments 1-800-AIRBORNE (1-800-247-2676)
International Shipments 1-800-ABX-INTL (1-800-229-4685)
Billing 1-800-722-0081 (M-F 6 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Pacific)
Technical Support 1-800-I-AM-HELP (1-800-426-4357), press 4
Flight-ReadySM Orders 1-800-426-2323, ext. 2244
Sky Courier 1-800-336-3344
Or write to us if you’d prefer to use e-mail.
Please see Customer Service at www.airborne.com for extensive FAQs, contacts and other helpful
information to assist you with your shipping needs.
Thank you for choosing Airborne Express!

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 10:56 AM
What is a Corporate Administrator? How do I become one?
UPS Administration allows you to manage and control who has permission to access your company's UPS Account and shipment information. The Corporate Administrator is a designated representative of your company that can approve all types of requests. There is only one Corporate Administrator for each UPS Account.

To become a Corporate Administrator, you must complete a brief online form and accept a legal agreement. Your request is then sent in the form of a letter with a Personal Identification Number (PIN) to the UPS Account Owner within your company. If the UPS Account Owner approves your request, they are responsible for giving you the PIN. You will then return to MY UPS.COM to use the PIN to activate your Corporate Administrator authority. This secure PIN-enabled process helps to prevent unauthorized access to your UPS Account and shipping information.

The Corporate Administrator request process only needs to be completed once for each account a company has with UPS.
Top of Page

What special responsibilities does a Corporate Administrator have?
The Corporate Administrator has the following responsibilities:

Approve or deny requests for administrative authority.
Approve or deny requests to bill charges to UPS Accounts.
Approve or deny requests to access UPS Accounts for information related to Quantum ViewTM.
Transfer all Corporate Administrator responsibilities to another user.

Top of Page
How many Corporate Administrators can there be on a single UPS Account?
There can only be one Corporate Administrator for each UPS Account, but there can be an unlimited number of Sub-administrators. It is up to the UPS Account Owner to select and approve the Corporate Administrator for their UPS Account. The Corporate Administrator request process only needs to be completed once for each account a company has with UPS.
Top of Page

How do I receive a PIN so I can activate my Corporate Administrator responsibilities?
When you request to be the Corporate Administrator on a UPS Account, a letter containing a PIN will be sent by regular mail to the corresponding Account Owner who will approve or deny the request. If you are approved, the Account Owner will give you the PIN, which you will use to activate your Corporate Administrator responsibilities.

You will return to MY UPS.COM, log in, and select UPS Administration. Go to My Administrative Profile, select Activate PIN, and enter the PIN to activate your Corporate Administrator authority. The PIN process is only used for requests to become Corporate Administrator and helps ensure that only people authorized by the UPS Account Owner can provide access to your account's sensitive UPS shipping information. The Corporate Administrator request process only needs to be completed once for each account a company has with UPS.
Top of Page

I have questions about my Corporate Administrator request and/or PIN letter. Where can I find additional support?
If you haven't received your PIN letter in response to your Corporate Administrator request or have any other questions related to your request, please call Customer Service toll free at 800-776-9911, Monday-Friday from 8:00 AM - 8:00 PM EST.
Top of Page

As Corporate Administrator, how do I grant authority to other administrators?
Corporate Administrators have the responsibility to approve or deny requests for administrative authority. These requests appear in Approve/Deny Requests. Select the name of the requestor to see more information about the requestor and the type of request. You may either approve or deny the request.
Top of Page

What is a Sub-administrator? How do I become one?
Sub-administrators have limited authority to approve and deny requests from other users. For example, a Sub-administrator on a UPS Account may be responsible for managing access to a single UPS service, like Quantum View InboundTM.

As a Sub-administrator you can:

Approve or deny Quantum View InboundTM and Quantum View OutboundTM billing requests
Approve or deny requests to access UPS Accounts for Quantum View.

To become a Sub-administrator on a UPS Account, you must first complete a brief online form and accept a legal agreement. Your request is then sent to the Corporate Administrator on that UPS Account for approval. You will be notified when your request has been approved.
Top of Page

What is the purpose of the account name when requesting administrative authority?
If you enter a UPS Account on which you're requesting administrative authority, you create a descriptive name that is associated with that account. The name can be anything you wish. It is simply a way to differentiate accounts from one another when they appear in My Administrative Profile.
Top of Page

What is a Location ID Administrator? How do I become one?
You automatically become the Location ID administrator for the Location IDs you create. This gives you the authority to approve and deny requests by others to use your Location ID in a Quantum View Inbound subscription. You act upon these requests in Approve/Deny Requests. There can only be one administrator for each Location ID. Location ID administrators can edit details of their Location ID in My Administrative Profile.
Top of Page

How do I transfer Location ID administrative authority?
You may receive requests to transfer your Location ID authority to another user. These requests appear in Approve/Deny Requests. If you approve a request, your Location ID administrative authority will be transferred to the requestor, and you will no longer be the administrator on that Location ID.
Top of Page

What is an Account Owner?
The UPS Account Owner is the individual who is responsible for a company's UPS Account. The UPS Account Owner plays an important role in the administration of the account, because he or she must approve the Corporate Administrator on the UPS Account.

Once established by the UPS Account Owner, the Corporate Administrator and approved Sub-administrators manage the day-to-day requests.
Top of Page

How do I approve or deny requests?
Requests can only be approved or denied by a Corporate Administrator or a Sub-administrator. To approve or deny a request, go to Approve/Deny Requests and select the requestor's name to see more information about the requestor and the type of request. Select Approve or Deny.
Top of Page

Can I cancel my administrative authority?
Corporate Administrators cannot cancel individual responsibilities, but can transfer all Corporate Administrator authority to someone else, effectively cancelling their own Corporate Administrator authority. Sub-administrators can deactivate an individual authority from My Administrative Profile.
Top of Page

Can I transfer my administrative authority to someone else?
Only Corporate Administrators can transfer their responsibilities to someone else. The person wishing to assume Corporate Administrator responsibilities must submit a request for transfer. If approved, the requestor will become the new Corporate Administrator, and the original Corporate Administrator will no longer have Corporate Administrative authority. All request history information will transfer to the new Corporate Administrator's Approve/Deny Requests table.
Top of Page

How many UPS Accounts can an administrator be responsible for?
Corporate Administrators and Sub-administrators can have authority for an unlimited number of UPS Accounts.
Top of Page

My question about UPS Administration isn't answered here. Where can I find additional support?
If you need help with UPS Administration, please e-mail UPS Technical Support.

RobertHoover
10-25-2002, 10:57 AM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
U.S. SERVICES
Whether shipping across town or across the country, Airborne can help. We offer
guaranteed, on-time delivery to virtually every ZIP code in the United States. And
we provide a wide array of delivery options to meet your shipping needs.
 Same Day Service by Sky Courier — Urgent delivery on the next available flight.
 Airborne 10:30 AM — Guaranteed delivery by 10:30 a.m. to primary delivery areas only.
 Airborne Express AM — Delivery by noon the next business day.
 Airborne Next Afternoon — Delivery of shipments up to 5 lbs. by 3 p.m. the next business day.
 Airborne Two Day — Delivery by 5:00 p.m. the second business day.
 Airborne Ground — Guaranteed delivery within 1-5 business days.
 airborne@home — Residential delivery for high-volume shippers. Choice of air delivery within
2-4 business days or ground delivery within 2-7 business days.
Delivery times listed above are based on delivery to primary or metropolitan areas. To determine
the guaranteed delivery times for your specific shipment, use the U.S. Transit Times calculator at
www.airborne.com.
Additional Service Options:
 Saturday Service
 Hold for Pickup Service
 Prepaid Flight-ReadySM
 Lab PackSM
 Airborne eCourier
For additional information about these special services or any of Airborne’s U.S. Services,
see the U.S. Services section on www.airborne.com.
 For information on filling out the U.S. Airbill, click here.
4
INTERNATIONAL SERVICES
Every day, Airborne Express delivers to more than 200 countries around the world. We’re
experts in international delivery – from our knowledge of local procedures in each country
to navigating customs. So you can trust Airborne to provide the services you need to be
successful in the global marketplace.
 Next Flight Out by Sky Courier — The fastest international delivery available on the next flight out.
 International Air Express — Door-to-door delivery of documents and packages up to 150 lbs., usually
within 1-4 business days including customs clearance.
 International Air Freight — Air delivery of shipments of any size. Choose door-to-door, door-to-airport
or airport-to-airport delivery.
 Ocean Freight — The most cost-effective delivery option for less time-sensitive shipments. Choose
FCL, LCL or project cargo shipments.
For additional information about delivery times for your specific shipment, use the International Transit
Times calculator at www.airborne.com.
For additional information about Airborne’s International Services, see International Services
at www.airborne.com.
International Express Documentation
To ensure quick customs clearance, the following documents are required for international shipments.
TYPE OF SHIPMENT DOCUMENTS NEEDED
International Air Express Document
International Air Express Package
(Shipments with a declared value)
Shipments from U.S. to Puerto Rico
and the U.S. Virgin Islands
Canadian Shipment
(Value $0.01 - $20.00 CAD)
Canadian Shipment
(Value $20.01 - $1,600.00 CAD)
Canadian Shipment
(Value over $1,600.00 CAD)
 International Express Airbill only
I N T E R N A T I O N A L S H I P P I N G D O C U M E N T S
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice (Original and 3 copies)
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice (If taxable)
 International Express Airbill only
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice or value supportive document
(Original and 3 copies)
 International Express Airbill
 Commercial Invoice (Original and 3 copies)
or
 Canadian Customs Invoice (In triplicate)
 For information on filling out the International Express Airbill, click here.
 For information on filling out a Commercial Invoice, click here.
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Thank you for choosing Airborne Express!




Wow koz, thanks for the info. I had no Idea Airborne Express had the fastest international delivery of all the major companies.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 10:57 AM
:lol: :evil:

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 12:24 PM
this is gayer then a two dollar bill

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 12:30 PM
Okay, I gotta side with Koz on this one, what the hell does any of your crap have to do with the price of tea in China? Holy crap man, you are full of sh!t posting all this nonsense, nobody here gives a flying hoot about. We don't care if you make $2/yr or 2/billion, really, we don't. So why don't you shove your oversized ego, that stupid posted letter, your pc, keyboard, mouse, and monitor straight up your damn monkey butt.:yell:

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 12:31 PM
Now I know, I did not know that you had two screen names BeefBlower. :rolleyes:

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 12:32 PM
Originally posted by SmackMan
this is gayer then a two dollar bill

GREAAAAT, and he calls himself the Smackman. Should be more like Spankitman.:rolleyes:

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 12:35 PM
harmonkoz

What kinda of BullSh_t was that???

Do you like hearing your self talk??

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 12:37 PM
Hey Baby, lay off. You aint one to talk around here. 34 posts and trying to push people around. Read back as to why he put that there. Pierpont the moron is running amuck, and nobody gives a flying sh!t about what the village idiot has to say.

Jazzbow
10-25-2002, 01:25 PM
...and then we get the email. Hmmm, that's odd... the Ghana website said it cost $100 to get a license to be a foriegn partner. Ebenezer claims - after in-depth research - it will cost Weaver $1,800. Ya don't suppose this bounder is trying to cheat Pierpont, do you?

Anyhoo... looks like I have the "Letter to a Charity" schtick setup. It is becoming obvious getting forged documents out of this cheapskate scammer is gonna take some teeth pulling so's I'll take what I can get.

He also seems to be a bit confounded by Buck's letter. I'll have to pass on his email to Buck so's Buck can clear things up.

Weaver'll be replying later tonight. He has to locate and scan the newspaper article explaining the charity.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Attn: Mr. P. weaver,

Dear Weaver,

Thanks for your mail, and sorry for the delay in replying that was due to my trip out of the city.

About the meeting for the business, if you will make the trip earlier than your schedule that is end of October or early November I think it will be better for us.

Please understand that I am not too familiar with computer most of our business is phone, fax and email. I can't understand why you cannot get me on phone, while we receive calls from Asia, America and Europe without any problem. But when I call you it gets through so try me again and again you will get the line no matter how difficult.

To register the company here is possible and I have made enquiries about it as a foreign company it will cost $1,800 USD to incorporate. So if you are ready and you want if to be done before you arrive let know and I will tell you the requirements. Be rest assured all arrangement concerning our transaction has been made so there will be no emergency or disappointment along the way.

Concerning the bill of loading and insurance, it will only be ready and available when the goods for shipment and export.

What information did you request from me? Let me know.

Regarding your second mail, which every means you think or know things will move better for us I give you our support. And believe me I did not understand most of the content of the attachment you sent to me from your Lawyer. Call me 233 27 587908.

Awaiting your urgent response.

Regards.

E. Kuffour.

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 01:26 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
Hey Baby, lay off. You aint one to talk around here. 34 posts and trying to push people around. Read back as to why he put that there. Pierpont the moron is running amuck, and nobody gives a flying sh!t about what the village idiot has to say.

number of post's smack = :sleep:

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 01:30 PM
You and Jazzbow need to get together SmackGirl. I think you two would hit it off.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 01:35 PM
I think they already did, one posts then the other follows. This usually happens when two dogs of their stature do the nasty and get stuck.

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 01:36 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
Hey Baby, lay off. You aint one to talk around here. 34 posts and trying to push people around. Read back as to why he put that there. Pierpont the moron is running amuck, and nobody gives a flying sh!t about what the village idiot has to say.

MarinoFan - I get it now!!

The Village Asshole is mad at the Village idot!!

Who are you...the Den Mother here???

It is not the quanity of the postings. but the quality of the posting!! From what I seen so far, the 2 of you are not much better than a bunch of elementary school kids in the play ground!!

Grow up and try to get to the middle school level!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 01:39 PM
You ready for that a$$ whipping the Packers are going to lay on the Phags this week Baby Ho?

I see you have been working on your spelling so I assume you must have gotten batteries for your speak & spell.

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 01:40 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
You ready for that a$$ whipping the Packers are going to lay on the Phags this week Baby Ho?

I see you have been working on your spelling so I assume you must have gotten batteries for your speak & spell.

or his see and say

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 01:43 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish


MarinoFan - I get it now!!

The Village Asshole is mad at the Village idot!!

Who are you...the Den Mother here???

It is not the quanity of the postings. but the quality of the posting!! From what I seen so far, the 2 of you are not much better than a bunch of elementary school kids in the play ground!!

Grow up and try to get to the middle school level!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

If you're right, then you are the village swallower. I'm not Den Mother, I'm your daddy, so come on over and sit on my lap. And if you want to compare quality of posts then you and Smackman should hold hands and sing we are the world, cause your **** is as weak as your daddy's pecker at the local strip joint.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 01:45 PM
Originally posted by SmackMan


or his see and say

or maybe your personal pocket suck and fck!

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 02:06 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan


If you're right, then you are the village swallower. I'm not Den Mother, I'm your daddy, so come on over and sit on my lap. And if you want to compare quality of posts then you and Smackman should hold hands and sing we are the world, cause your **** is as weak as your daddy's pecker at the local strip joint.

:lol: :lol: I have not seen this much Bull**** thrown out since Bill Clinton was in office. Man, you think this is REAL smack then you ARE as ****ing Stupid as you post!! What a bunch of **** and other useless crap being thrown around.

This must be San Fran!! With all the gay comments, this must be a Turkish bath house. For you fAgs it would seem like home!!!:lol: :lol:

Den Mother MarinoFan - your slip is showing!! :eek: :eek:

Is that all you can do as a Dolphin fan??? What an asshole you are!!:lol: :lol:

Jazzbow
10-25-2002, 02:26 PM
Ahh....:sleep:

You guys only wish you could smack with the old timers.

Jazzbow
10-25-2002, 02:29 PM
interestingly enough, a common 419 scam tactic is to have a person and their lawyer gang up on the scammee. Muuuuhahahaha...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour,

I am pleased to hear from you and I hope your trip was harmonious and prosperous. No need to apologize, we are both busy business men. I am feeling pretty good, although my back is taking longer to recover from my tumble off the turnip truck than I had hoped.

I'm afraid I'm booked solid in early November. I have an important Trade Show which I must attend. The earliest I could schedule a trip would be around the 12th of November. If that sounds good, then I shall begin booking a flight. By the way, my wife would very much like to make the trip over also. She is quite the collector of art and other curios and is excited at the prospect of exploring the markets, etc. of your country. I do hope her coming along is not a problem for you.

Yes, the situation with the phones is most curious. I tried again earlier today but could only get a busy signal. Buck said he couldn't even make a connection. It has rained a considerable amount where we are, perhaps moisture has gotten into the lines. I'll be travelling to the Spas at Gary Indianna this weekend. I'll look into purchasing a mobile phone and see if I have better luck contacting you. I'll also be taking along my laptop computer so I will be able to read my emails and stay in contact with you if something needing feigned attention arises.

It is a shame you're having problems with the onLine Conferencing software. It is rather easy to set up if one knows computers, and it is much more reliable - and as a businessman you'll no doubt appreciate this - cheaper than overseas phone calls.

When I spoke about the Bill of Lading and Insurance Certificate perhaps I was not clear. I was simply requesting some sort of a document showing your ownership of the alluvial gold. In your original email you indicated it was 99% pure. You must have had it appraised and I'm sure the Chemical Labs report, or something similar, would be fine for my needs.

Thank you for agreeing to scheme to transfer the alluvial gold through a charity. That will save us a considerable sum of money in taxation. I work with a charity called the L.F.A. (Leo Fan Anonymous). It is a charity that helps people who suffer from uncurable melancholia and depression. We do our best, via modern medicines, electro-shock therapy, and surgical procedures to see that they live a happy, albeit empty headed, existence. It is the best we can do. If you could write a letter, in your own words of course, saying you heard of the fine work of the L.F.A. and would like to assist via the sale of alluvial gold I would appreciate it more than you can know. I've attached an article concerning its founding to provide you with further information about it. Many, many thanks.

Yes, Leviticus "Buck" Wheat's letter I attached to the last email was no doubt confusing. Lawyers are silver tongued devils aren't they? They spend too much of their time playing the sloppy lip blues on meat whistles for my taste. At any rate, aside from the chit-chat, he was just informing me that he had arranged the transfer of 50,000 US dollars to a bank in Accra. He was also concerned that you post a Surety Bond for the alluvial gold. Don't worry about that too much, as honorable businessman our word should be bond enough. At any rate, he'll no doubt be in touch with you at some point in the near future. Email me if you have any questions or concerns over his antics.

Yours in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont E. Weaver, Esq.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 02:50 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish


:lol: :lol: I have not seen this much Bull**** thrown out since Bill Clinton was in office. Man, you think this is REAL smack then you ARE as ****ing Stupid as you post!! What a bunch of **** and other useless crap being thrown around.

This must be San Fran!! With all the gay comments, this must be a Turkish bath house. For you fAgs it would seem like home!!!:lol: :lol:

Den Mother MarinoFan - your slip is showing!! :eek: :eek:

Is that all you can do as a Dolphin fan??? What an asshole you are!!:lol: :lol:

This must be this, or this must be that, get the fck out if you don't like it baby girl. The only slip I'm showing is what Smackgirl slipped up your ass. Turkish bath house? Visit those regularly? I don't even know what they're about. I'm an asshole and proud of it. You haven't shown me any smack yourself. Why don't you jump on that donkey you call papa, and ride it home. You have outstayed your welcome.:evil:

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by Jazzbow
Ahh....:sleep:

You guys only wish you could smack with the old timers.

YOU'RE JUST A FOCKING MORON!!!!:monkey: JizzBlower

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 02:53 PM
This is the second post that Baby Ho has mentioned a Turkish bathhouse... I think it has an infatuation with them.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 02:57 PM
That's what happens when something is stuck in your recent memory, can't stop mentioning. Come on Babygirl, tell us more of your encounters at the Turkish Bath House, what happened there? Did you get to wrestle with all the nice hairy men?

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 02:58 PM
Originally posted by hardOnSnoz
This is the second post that Baby Ho has mentioned a Turkish bathhouse... I think it has an infatuation with them.
Captain! Captain! HardOnSnoz isn't playing nice!

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 03:06 PM
Now Jazzbow, uh Mr. Reality, err SmackGirl, well whatever the hell your name is.

Do you have any comments on any of the football games this week? Is your team (Bungals, probably since you have a bag over your head) going to finally get a win?

Or are you just here using mommies computer while you try on her lingerie? Please stop, as I have said before you are wasting bandwidth.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:07 PM
Reality is he likes to thumb his a-hole while attempting to smack on here. He gets off on lame tries at telling people off.

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:08 PM
Harmonoz and Marinofan, you were the ones who have been posting the "****" crap! I can not help it that you are BOTH queers, stupid, and F&*king each other to understand anything!!

If you 2 are the BEST that this board can offere, then the Phantom and Mr. Reality are the KINGS of this board!! You 2 SMACK BITCHES are nothing more the board Sluts!!

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 03:12 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
Reality is he likes to thumb his a-hole while attempting to smack on here.
Frankly, it's probably more stimulating than your posts.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:13 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish
Harmonoz and Marinofan, you were the ones who have been posting the "****" crap! I can not help it that you are BOTH queers, stupid, and F&*king each other to understand anything!!

If you 2 are the BEST that this board can offere, then the Phantom and Mr. Reality are the KINGS of this board!! You 2 SMACK BITCHES are nothing more the board Sluts!!

:blah::boring::toilet:

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 03:13 PM
Sure Baby Ho,

What would you like me to smack? The fact that your team is going to lose its next three games because you don't have QB? or maybe the fact that you just picked up a nice growth on your team. I think its cancerous, and goes by the name of Carter?

You suck dingleberries Baby Ho.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:14 PM
Originally posted by Mr.Reality

Frankly, it's probably more stimulating than your posts.

I'm sure it's more to your liking too.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:15 PM
Hey Harmon, as long as we're pulling together against this moron. Stay off the Phins, she's not worth that type of effort.

WharfRat
10-25-2002, 03:15 PM
Removing his thumb from his arse, and sticking it back into his mouth... Mr Retardedly mumbles:


Originally posted by Mr.Reality

Frankly, it's probably more stimulating than your posts.

Not sure if anyone heard his mindless ramblings, he sulks back in the corner and plays with his pet gonad some more...

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 03:18 PM
Hey Harmon, as long as we're pulling together against this moron. Stay off the Phins, she's not worth that type of effort.

:lol:

Okay, just this once Marino.... :evil:

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
Hey Harmon, as long as we're pulling together against this moron. Stay off the Phins, she's not worth that type of effort.
Aw, how cute. The little girls have learned to play together.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:23 PM
Yep, we also learned how to play your mom. Play her like the hoe she is. Stop talking man, I can smell the sh!t stink from here.

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Sure Baby Ho,

What would you like me to smack? The fact that your team is going to lose its next three games because you don't have QB? or maybe the fact that you just picked up a nice growth on your team. I think its cancerous, and goes by the name of Carter?

You suck dingleberries Baby Ho.


Ok HandonMomkeyooz!

Let me see the GREAT Biffalo Bobs, ALL time Smack!! Is it the same Smack the team gave back in the early 1990's?? You remember, in between wet dreams about the Buffalos, 0 - 4 in super bowl games!! I know you have a warm spot in your heart for the Minnesota Vikings!! They are 0 - 5 in super Bowl so at least there is 1 team that is a bigger F&*k up than the Biffalo Bobs!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 03:29 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
Yep, we also learned how to play your mom. Play her like the hoe she is. Stop talking man, I can smell the sh!t stink from here. Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and **** my sister.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 03:29 PM
So what team do you root for RealitiesB!tch?

Still to ashamed to let everyone know. or is mommies lingerie fitting a wee bit tight today, cutting off what little circulation you had to your brain?

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 03:29 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
Yep, we also learned how to play your mom.
No wonder why you smack like old people f&*k.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 03:32 PM
The NFL is a league of what have you done for me lately. Lately, we beat your a$$ in your own house.

If you want to do historical smack, how about the fact that the 72 Phags had the easiest schedule of any Super Bowl team ever? Boy that is really something to hang your hat on. :rolleyes:

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:32 PM
Originally posted by Mr.Reality

No wonder why you smack like old people f&*k.

What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? At least I f*ck school boy. I'd hate to make a living of jerking it with a shampoo bottle up my ass, like you often tender to.

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:34 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
The NFL is a league of what have you done for me lately. Lately, we beat your a$$ in your own house.

If you want to do historical smack, how about the fact that the 72 Phags had the easiest schedule of any Super Bowl team ever? Boy that is really something to hang your hat on. :rolleyes:

Yup, you are right! HandonMonkeyooz!

We had to play the Biffalo Bobs twice that year, God those were easy games !!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 03:34 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
So what team do you root for RealitiesB!tch?

Still to ashamed to let everyone know. or is mommies lingerie fitting a wee bit tight today, cutting off what little circulation you had to your brain?


you live in NY the world capitol of cross dresser. Let me guess your wifes name is bob?

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:35 PM
Originally posted by SmackMan
Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and **** my sister.

Sure thing, I'll do your sister. I don't usually go bull riding, but I'll make an exception just this once

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan


What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? At least I f*ck school boy. I'd hate to make a living of jerking it with a shampoo bottle up my ass, like you often tender to.

So how did it feel when you tryed it! for the 1st time! :eek: :p :p :lol: :lol:

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
At least I f*cked a school boy.
I wouldn't be bragging about it.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by SmackMan



you live in NY the world capitol of cross dresser. Let me guess your wifes name is bob?

What's your wife's name, Pamela? As in Pamela and her five sisters, all coming together, to help you come apart?

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:37 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan


Sure thing, I'll do your sister. I don't usually go bull riding, but I'll make an exception just this once

Stop talkong about your Mamma like that!!

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:38 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish


So how did it feel when you tryed it! for the 1st time! :eek: :p :p :lol: :lol:

I wouldn't know, experience like yours should go miles in this subject.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 03:39 PM
you live in NY the world capitol of cross dresser. Let me guess your wifes name is bob?

Wrong, no cookie for you (or should I say MilkBone)

Your detective skills are obviously lacking, since I am no where the state of New York. You cow raping pile of elephant ****.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:40 PM
Originally posted by Mr.Reality

I wouldn't be bragging about it.

Oh that's cheap, misquoting me. Can't smack by yourself little bitch. Pathetic being, you are my young padwad.:down:

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:40 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan


At least I f*ck school boy.

FATHER MARINOFAN!!!

I sure holy the Pope does not hear about this!!!:eek: :eek:

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:41 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish


Stop talkong about your Mamma like that!!

Get off the momma already, I just got off yours.

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan


I wouldn't know, experience like yours should go miles in this subject.

Well you have the AssHole that brought it up!!!:eek: :eek: :lol: :lol:

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-25-2002, 03:46 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan


Get off the momma already, I just got off yours.


I never got on your mamma!!

She is 5 foot - 2 inche on her hind legs and goes by the name of "Lassie!" :eek: :eek: :lol: :lol:

She did say you like it when HandonMonkeyozz did you DOGGIE STYLE!! :evil: :evil:

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:48 PM
Baby Fish, were you tap dancing when you thought up that name? Sounds pretty sad to me.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish


Well you have the AssHole that brought it up!!!:eek: :eek: :lol: :lol:

Wow, I never knew my ass could talk. Or is it you just call your mouth your ass cause of the wretched stench?

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 03:50 PM
Baby Ho, I don't think your Mommy would approve of this language you have been using.

Pull the Eggplant out of your hoo-ha, wipe off her keyboard, and go do your homework before she grounds you.

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 03:56 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan
Wow, I never knew my ass could talk.
It merely whimpers.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 04:02 PM
Originally posted by Mr.Reality

It merely whimpers.

Whimpers at the thought of you coming near. You are notorious for what you do to asses, and mine wants no part of that crap. Keep your assbreaking 2 inches to yourself.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 04:03 PM
It merely whimpers.

Kind of like you Mr. Reality?

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 04:16 PM
so zoknomrah any new theories for us?

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 04:35 PM
Originally posted by hardonsnoz
Kind of like you Mr. Reality?
Who asked you, hardonsnoz? Fall back in line with the rest of the pathetic Dolphin legions and goose step to Ricky Ricardo ballads.

harmonkoz
10-25-2002, 04:41 PM
Mr. Reality, I think you need to get back to your hole in the wall.

You know the one various men stick their tools in for you to shine for a nickel.

If you spend to much time in here you might get behind on your bills.

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 04:43 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Mr. Reality, I think you need to get back to your hole in the wall.

You know the one various men stick their tools in for you to shine for a nickel.

If you spend to much time in here you might get behind on your bills.


A bills fan on a Phins board telling someone this ....hmmmm

Jazzbow
10-25-2002, 04:47 PM
Pierpont almost forgot to respond to the Advance Fee shoe dropping...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. E. Kuffour,

I am so embarassed. In my enthusiasm over this pending deal, I almost forgot to address a very important point in your email.

Thanks for checking on the requirements for a foreign firm doing business in your country. Yes, it would be best if we could have the incorporation papers ready and signed before I come over, or at least ready to be signed as soon as I arrive. You can send the forms to me via FAX or email attachment and I'll see they are promptly filed.

Yours in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont E. Weaver, Esq.

Jazzbow
10-25-2002, 04:47 PM
Oooohhhh... the Mines Association is throwing a big shindig in November!!!! Maybe Pierpont can film a "Girls Gone Wild at the Mining Association Party" tape and sell it on late night TV!!!

Well, Weaver is travelling up to the fancy Spa at Gary Indianna and won't be able to answer until later.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

I have gone to the chamber of mines here for the change of ownership certificate in your name and they are asking for the proof of the payment you made.

You have to make your trip end of this month as I earlier said, because from November the mines association will be having end of year party and after that it will go on holidays.

Please explain more about the charity sales to me , because I have not done it that way before.

And finally, let your lawyer understand and know that this business is legitimate and all documents will come from the Government accordingly. That's why we ask you to come over for the signing of the agreements and documents. Then we can proceed to get all necessary documents in your name for the shipment.

The documents that will be given to you are as follows.

1) Certificate of Origin (2) Certificate of Ownership (3) Insurance and Bill of loading. All will be in your name.


Regards.

Ebenezer Kuffour

Mr.Reality
10-25-2002, 04:52 PM
Originally posted by hardonsnoz
Mr. Reality, I think you need to get back to your hole in the wall.
Since when did Colorado fire their mascot? I don't want to hear anything out of your jizz receptacle except the Buffalo fight song. You can expect some sweetgrass as a reward.

MarinoFan
10-25-2002, 04:52 PM
Originally posted by Jazzbow
Oooohhhh... the Mines Association is throwing a big shindig in November!!!! Maybe Pierpont can film a "Girls Gone Wild at the Mining Association Party" tape and sell it on late night TV!!!

Well, Weaver is travelling up to the fancy Spa at Gary Indianna and won't be able to answer until later.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

I have gone to the chamber of mines here for the change of ownership certificate in your name and they are asking for the proof of the payment you made.

You have to make your trip end of this month as I earlier said, because from November the mines association will be having end of year party and after that it will go on holidays.

Please explain more about the charity sales to me , because I have not done it that way before.

And finally, let your lawyer understand and know that this business is legitimate and all documents will come from the Government accordingly. That's why we ask you to come over for the signing of the agreements and documents. Then we can proceed to get all necessary documents in your name for the shipment.

The documents that will be given to you are as follows.

1) Certificate of Origin (2) Certificate of Ownership (3) Insurance and Bill of loading. All will be in your name.


Regards.

Ebenezer Kuffour

Holy ****, this ******** returns. I was enjoying the crap from all other recent idiots in here, but this guy really takes the cake. I'm out this bitch.:sleep:

SmackMan
10-25-2002, 06:24 PM
Originally posted by MarinoFan


I'm out this bitch.:sleep:

Ebonics 101?

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 12:19 AM
Pierpont has this idiot completely hooked. Two more messages, one voice and one email. Greed is powerful mindscambling desire. :)

Here is his phone call:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

<embed src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/sound/gold8a.wav" autostart="false">

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 12:19 AM
Now Weaver and he are pals!!! Hmmm... $1,800 dollars just to get the forums to fill out? They must be printed on platinum.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Friend,

To register the company and to get the forms which you will fill you have to send the money which i told you it will cost through the western union money transfer in favour of SAMUEL EKEZIE Accra-Ghana. Then you send me the transfer informations. When i pay the forms will be given to me and I will send if Original to you through DHL to fill properly sign and return the same way. I will respond to your first mail later.

My greatings to your wife and family.


Regards.

Kuffour.

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 12:20 AM
Pierpont dashes off a quick reply...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Kuffour,

How are you my friend? In good health I hope. I'm sorry I have not replied earlier, but as I said I'm taking a trip to the Spa this weekend. I spent the entire day travelling via motor car. We've stopped at Branson, Missouri. Lulu Bell, my lovely wife, is a big Jim Nabors fan and we're hoping to catch his show tonight. I'll have to be brief in my reply.

At first I was confused by your second letter. I thought you were asking me to pay $1,800 for some blank forms. I almost got angry, but then I realized it must just be a mix-up in language. Surely nobody would be foolish enough to pay that much money just to get a blank form to fill out.

I'm sure what you meant was after I filled out the forms I should submit them with the $1,800 fee at the same time. Of course that is perfectly exceptable to me. You can send the forms via DHL courier if you wish, but if you FAX them or attach them to an email I'll get them quicker. I'll be sure to fill them out promptly and immediately return them with the required $1,800 incorporation fee.

I didn't understand what you meant by a change of ownership certificate. You own the alluvial gold, not me. By the way, I'm still awaiting a document that attests to you possessing the alluvial gold. Any luck getting the Chemist's report? Or at least a notarized memo saying you have the alluvial gold? Both Mr. Wheat and my accountant will pitch a fit if I don't get some proof you have the alluvial gold.

I must say you Ghanian alluvial gold miners take your parties seriously. You mean to say that the entire month of November and December is taken up with drunken orgies? That's a dreadful shame, because I can't make it any earlier than the 12th of November. The week before the 12th is the International Cabonated Beverages Convention in Miami Florida. Since we're trying to promote Yaka-Cola to South America I have to be there to promote my company. Perhaps Lulu Bell and I could come over, sign the papers, and celebrate the deal at the Mine Association party? otherwise we'll need to push the meeting off until after the holidays.

You must trust me my friend that selling the gold under the umbrella of the L.F.A. will result in substantial tax savings for us all. Since a non-profit organization would be labeled as receiving my share of the money significant reductions in tax rates would occur. Please, just write a letter saying you've heard of the fine work of the L.F.A., mix in some details from the newspaper article to make it sounfd convincing. Request that I handle the sale for the benefit of the L.F.A

I'll be travelling again tomorrow, but I expect that the day after I'll be able to purchase a mobile phone and try again to call you. I look forward to speaking to you.

Well, I must power down my laptop now. My best wishes to your wife and family.

Your in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont.

fishnbadger
10-26-2002, 12:43 AM
Leo's Fan Anonymous:lol: :lol:Where do I send a check?

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 01:09 AM
Whoo-Hooo!!! Ask, and ye shall receive...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

Many thanks for your mails and ideas, and I wish you speedy recovery on your back and a wonderful tours this weekend.

Find attached the copy of the certificate of ownership and the latest report from the SGS for your need.

November 12th will be alright for the trip, therefore confirm your flight and send the schedule to me to enable me make reservations and prepare for your arrival. It will be my pleasure to welcome you and your beloved wife in my country.

I also want you to understand that I have confidence in dealing with you as a person so be rest assured the trust has established and it will soon lead to mutual benefits to both parties.

My regards to your wife and family and thanks for your understanding and co-operation.

Awaiting your urgent response.



Sincerely yours

Ebenezer Kuffour (Executive Manager)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<img src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/owner_cert.jpg">
<br><br>
<img src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/chem_gold1.jpg">
<br><br>
<img src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/chem_gold2.jpg">
<br><br>

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 03:25 PM
Pierpont's reply to the forms is brief and of not much interest...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Kuffour,

Thanks for your last email and the forms you attached. I've only got time for a quick note. We're wrapping up our stay here and will begin driving back to Florida early tomorrow. I anticipate getting back Tuesday. I'll arrange my travel plans Wednesday and forward you the details.


Pierpont Weaver.

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 03:27 PM
Well, Pierpont managed to get enough of a break from his travelling to write a letter concerning his labs take on the alluvial gold analysis. He attached his folks' memo (sorry, had to edit it a bit to get it to fit). BTW, the address and phone number on the Chemical Division's stationary is for a phone booth in an alley off South Beach in Miami. :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Kuffour,

Hello my friend, I trust you and your family are in good health. My vacation was quite pleasurable. I am writing from a hotel in Bugtussle Tennesee. Rather a rustic little town. I have one more day of driving and then it will be back to work!

A couple of minor details. I forwarded your chemist's report to some of my people and they returned a memo (attached) which raises some issues which need to be clarified. As you can see they were concerned over your reports use of the term bullion rather than alluvial. I suspect it was a simple-minded mistake, since in your first letter you were clearly talking about alluvial gold -- and not bullion -- when you mentioned we would get it shipped to the refinery of our choice.

Be that as it may, the discrepency between your original claim of 99.5% pure vs. my lab's report of it being 94.5% pure, is an issue we need to clarify to procede. I am assuming there was a typo in the original email and you meant 94.5%. However, perhaps it would be best to send a small five gram sample to my folks if you think that would be helpful. After all, $300,000 eratz dollars is a small amount in the scheme of things, but we should be clear on what the figures actually are.

Also, I'm abit confused by your report being done for a Mr. Samuel Ackah of the firm Charl & J.P.R. I assume that a subsidiary of your firm?

I'm also interested in hearing how your letter to the L.F.A. is progressing. Also, any luck getting the forms for incorporation?

Well, enough chit-chat for now. In less than a month we'll be raising a toast in Accra over the deal. I look forward with anticipation to the day!


Yours in Peace and Fertility,

Pierpont Weaver.



<img src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/chemist_letter.jpg">

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 03:28 PM
Pierpont is back from his trip to the spas and has bought his airplane tickets. Time to see if we can smoke Dr. KaFool out of the woodwork...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Kuffour,

Hello my friend, I trust you and your family are in good health? I've finally made it back from my trip to the spas and was able to contact my travel agent today and arrange for plane tickets to Accra. Here is the schedule:

I leave Monday November 11th and arrive in Accra Ghana Nov 12 at 9:05 p.m. on British Airways flight 81.

The entire trip takes a little over 30 hours, so I am sure that Lulu Belle and myself will be quite exhausted when we arrive. Will you arrange to meet us at the airport? Also, if you could recommend a good hotel we can then arrange for our lodging.

I'm a bit tired after my vacation, so I'll leave the other minor matters until tomorrow.

This venture of ours is starting to excite me. I look forward to spending some time with you and visiting your lovely country.

Yours,

Pierpont

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 03:29 PM
Well, Dr KaFool responded, but he seems to be a tad mixed up -- all he did was send Pierpont a copy of Pierpont's last letter.

I wonder if he is forwarding these to somebody else? Could Pierpont be getting double teamed?

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 03:30 PM
I'm sure this will clarify things for KaFool...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Kuffour,

There appears to have been a mixup on your end. The last email you sent me was the email I had sent you previously (the one where I sent my flight details, etc.). That is to say, you sent me the email I sent you, rather then the email you meant to send replying to the email I sent you.

If you could please resend the email you had intended to send, rather than the eamil I sent, it would be helpful.

Yours,

Pierpont

harmonkoz
10-26-2002, 03:40 PM
#include <X11/Xlib.h>
#include <X11/Xutil.h>
#include <X11/Xos.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include <unistd.h>

#define BUTTONS ?
#define XTERM "/usr/X11R5/bin/xterm -sb -e rlogin"
#define BACKGROUND_COLOUR "light grey"
#define BUTTON_COLOUR "blue"
#define DOWN "down"
#define ACTIVE "active"

Display *display;
int screen;
Colormap colormap;
char * machines[] = {
"marin",
"xarque",
"dragon",
"saturn",
"sentinel",
"silver",
"sirius"
};

struct {
XPoint topleft;
XPoint topright;
XPoint botleft;
XPoint botright;
} buttons[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info
{
Window win;
GC gc;
};

void init_buttons(char *button_caps[]);
void draw_image (Window, GC *, char *button_caps[]);
int draw_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *text,
int x, int y,
int width, int height,
int,
char button_caps[]);
void set_colour (GC *gc, char *, Colormap);

int where_am_i (Window, GC *gc);
int process_button
(Window win,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
int button);

void press_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
char *text );

struct window_info create_window
(int x,
int y);
void execute_command
(int root,
char *command,
char *machine);

main()
{
unsigned int width, height;
int x=0, y=0;
unsigned int border_width=4;
char *button_caps[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info window;

Window win;
GC gc;
XEvent report;
XFontStruct *font_info;
XColor colour;

char * display_name=NULL;

display=XOpenDisplay(display_name);

screen=DefaultScreen(display);

colormap = DefaultColormap(display, screen);

width = 90; height = (BUTTONS+1)* 30 +15+5;
window=create_window(width, height);
win = window.win;
gc = window.gc;

{
int exit_prog=1;

init_buttons(button_caps);

while (exit_prog)
{
XNextEvent(display, &report);

switch (report.type)
{
{
draw_image(win, &gc, button_caps);
break;
}
case ButtonPress:
{
int button;
button=where_am_i(win, &gc);
process_button(win, &gc, button_caps, button);

if ( button == BUTTONS) exit_prog=0;

break;
}
case KeyPress:
{
break;
}
case 22:
{
break;
}
default:
{
printf ("Unexpected Event occoured in xxterm window. Event No. is %i\n",
report.type);
break;
}
}
}
}
}
void execute_command(int root, char *command, char *machine)
{
char full_cmd[100];

if (root)
{
if (getuid())
{
printf("You are not authorised to execute this command\n");
return;
}
}
strcpy( full_cmd, command);
strcat( full_cmd, " ");
strcat( full_cmd, machine);
strcat( full_cmd, " &");
system(full_cmd);
}
int process_button (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], int button)
{

if (button >= 0 && button < BUTTONS)
{

button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

execute_command(0, XTERM, machines[button]);

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}

if ( button == BUTTONS)
{
button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}
return (1);
}

void draw_image (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[])
{
int i, x;
for (i=0, x=15; i< BUTTONS; i++, x+=30)
{
draw_button(win, gc, machines[i], 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;
}
draw_button(win, gc, "Exit" , 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;

}
draw_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *text, int x, int y,
int width, int height, int box,
char button_cap[])
{

char top_left_col[80];
char bottom_right_col[80];
char text_col[80];

int yfudge=height-5;
int xfudge=x+6;

struct {
XPoint p;
} points[6];

int thickness=2;
int xinner=x+thickness;
int yinner=y+thickness;
int hinner=height-(thickness*2);
int winner=width-(thickness*2);

if (!strcmp(button_cap, ACTIVE))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "white");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "slategrey");
}

if (!strcmp(button_cap, DOWN))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "slategrey");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "white");
}

set_colour(gc, top_left_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y;
points[1].p.x=x+width; points[1].p.y=y;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=xinner; points[4].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[5].p.x=x; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, bottom_right_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y+height;
points[1].p.x=xinner; points[1].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner+winner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=x+width; points[4].p.y=y;
points[5].p.x=x+width; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, BUTTON_COLOUR, colormap);
XDrawString (display, win, *gc,
xfudge, y+yfudge,
text,
strlen(text));
buttons[box].topleft.x=x; buttons[box].topleft.y=y;
buttons[box].topright.x=x+width; buttons[box].topright.y=y;
buttons[box].botright.x=x+width; buttons[box].botright.y=y+height;
buttons[box].botleft.x=x; buttons[box].botleft.y=y+height;

}
int where_am_i(Window win, GC *gc)
{

Window root, child;
int root_x, root_y;
int win_x, win_y;
int mask;
int inc;
int button;
XQueryPointer( display, win,
&root, &child,
&root_x, &root_y,
&win_x, &win_y,
&mask);
button=-1;
for (inc = 0 ; inc <= BUTTONS && button == -1; inc++)
{
if ( win_x > buttons[inc].topleft.x && win_x < buttons[inc].topright.x
&& win_y > buttons[inc].topleft.y && win_y < buttons[inc].botleft.y)
{
button = inc;
}
}

return(button);
}
void press_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], char *text )
{

draw_image(win, gc, button_caps);
}
void set_colour (GC *gc, char * colour, Colormap colormap)
{
XColor xcolour;

XParseColor(display, colormap, colour, &xcolour);

XAllocColor(display, colormap, &xcolour);

XSetForeground(display, *gc, xcolour.pixel);
}
void init_buttons(char *button_caps[])
{
int i;

for (i=0; i <= BUTTONS; i++) button_caps[i] = ACTIVE;

}
struct window_info create_window(int x, int y)
{
struct window_info window;
XColor colour;
XParseColor(display, colormap, BACKGROUND_COLOUR, &colour);
XAllocColor(display, colormap, &colour);
window.win = XCreateSimpleWindow(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0, 0,
x, y,
4,
WhitePixel(display, screen),
colour.pixel);
XSelectInput(display,
window.win,
ExposureMask |
KeyPressMask |
ButtonPressMask |
StructureNotifyMask );
XMapWindow (display, window.win);
window.gc = XCreateGC(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0,
NULL);

return window;
}

WharfRat
10-26-2002, 03:45 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz


#include <X11/Xlib.h>
#include <X11/Xutil.h>
#include <X11/Xos.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include <unistd.h>

#define BUTTONS ?
#define XTERM "/usr/X11R5/bin/xterm -sb -e rlogin"
#define BACKGROUND_COLOUR "light grey"
#define BUTTON_COLOUR "blue"
#define DOWN "down"
#define ACTIVE "active"

Display *display;
int screen;
Colormap colormap;
char * machines[] = {
"marin",
"xarque",
"dragon",
"saturn",
"sentinel",
"silver",
"sirius"
};

struct {
XPoint topleft;
XPoint topright;
XPoint botleft;
XPoint botright;
} buttons[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info
{
Window win;
GC gc;
};

void init_buttons(char *button_caps[]);
void draw_image (Window, GC *, char *button_caps[]);
int draw_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *text,
int x, int y,
int width, int height,
int,
char button_caps[]);
void set_colour (GC *gc, char *, Colormap);

int where_am_i (Window, GC *gc);
int process_button
(Window win,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
int button);

void press_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
char *text );

struct window_info create_window
(int x,
int y);
void execute_command
(int root,
char *command,
char *machine);

main()
{
unsigned int width, height;
int x=0, y=0;
unsigned int border_width=4;
char *button_caps[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info window;

Window win;
GC gc;
XEvent report;
XFontStruct *font_info;
XColor colour;

char * display_name=NULL;

display=XOpenDisplay(display_name);

screen=DefaultScreen(display);

colormap = DefaultColormap(display, screen);

width = 90; height = (BUTTONS+1)* 30 +15+5;
window=create_window(width, height);
win = window.win;
gc = window.gc;

{
int exit_prog=1;

init_buttons(button_caps);

while (exit_prog)
{
XNextEvent(display, &report);

switch (report.type)
{
{
draw_image(win, &gc, button_caps);
break;
}
case ButtonPress:
{
int button;
button=where_am_i(win, &gc);
process_button(win, &gc, button_caps, button);

if ( button == BUTTONS) exit_prog=0;

break;
}
case KeyPress:
{
break;
}
case 22:
{
break;
}
default:
{
printf ("Unexpected Event occoured in xxterm window. Event No. is %i\n",
report.type);
break;
}
}
}
}
}
void execute_command(int root, char *command, char *machine)
{
char full_cmd[100];

if (root)
{
if (getuid())
{
printf("You are not authorised to execute this command\n");
return;
}
}
strcpy( full_cmd, command);
strcat( full_cmd, " ");
strcat( full_cmd, machine);
strcat( full_cmd, " &");
system(full_cmd);
}
int process_button (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], int button)
{

if (button >= 0 && button < BUTTONS)
{

button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

execute_command(0, XTERM, machines[button]);

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}

if ( button == BUTTONS)
{
button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}
return (1);
}

void draw_image (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[])
{
int i, x;
for (i=0, x=15; i< BUTTONS; i++, x+=30)
{
draw_button(win, gc, machines[i], 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;
}
draw_button(win, gc, "Exit" , 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;

}
draw_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *text, int x, int y,
int width, int height, int box,
char button_cap[])
{

char top_left_col[80];
char bottom_right_col[80];
char text_col[80];

int yfudge=height-5;
int xfudge=x+6;

struct {
XPoint p;
} points[6];

int thickness=2;
int xinner=x+thickness;
int yinner=y+thickness;
int hinner=height-(thickness*2);
int winner=width-(thickness*2);

if (!strcmp(button_cap, ACTIVE))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "white");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "slategrey");
}

if (!strcmp(button_cap, DOWN))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "slategrey");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "white");
}

set_colour(gc, top_left_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y;
points[1].p.x=x+width; points[1].p.y=y;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=xinner; points[4].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[5].p.x=x; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, bottom_right_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y+height;
points[1].p.x=xinner; points[1].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner+winner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=x+width; points[4].p.y=y;
points[5].p.x=x+width; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, BUTTON_COLOUR, colormap);
XDrawString (display, win, *gc,
xfudge, y+yfudge,
text,
strlen(text));
buttons[box].topleft.x=x; buttons[box].topleft.y=y;
buttons[box].topright.x=x+width; buttons[box].topright.y=y;
buttons[box].botright.x=x+width; buttons[box].botright.y=y+height;
buttons[box].botleft.x=x; buttons[box].botleft.y=y+height;

}
int where_am_i(Window win, GC *gc)
{

Window root, child;
int root_x, root_y;
int win_x, win_y;
int mask;
int inc;
int button;
XQueryPointer( display, win,
&root, &child,
&root_x, &root_y,
&win_x, &win_y,
&mask);
button=-1;
for (inc = 0 ; inc <= BUTTONS && button == -1; inc++)
{
if ( win_x > buttons[inc].topleft.x && win_x < buttons[inc].topright.x
&& win_y > buttons[inc].topleft.y && win_y < buttons[inc].botleft.y)
{
button = inc;
}
}

return(button);
}
void press_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], char *text )
{

draw_image(win, gc, button_caps);
}
void set_colour (GC *gc, char * colour, Colormap colormap)
{
XColor xcolour;

XParseColor(display, colormap, colour, &xcolour);

XAllocColor(display, colormap, &xcolour);

XSetForeground(display, *gc, xcolour.pixel);
}
void init_buttons(char *button_caps[])
{
int i;

for (i=0; i <= BUTTONS; i++) button_caps[i] = ACTIVE;

}
struct window_info create_window(int x, int y)
{
struct window_info window;
XColor colour;
XParseColor(display, colormap, BACKGROUND_COLOUR, &colour);
XAllocColor(display, colormap, &colour);
window.win = XCreateSimpleWindow(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0, 0,
x, y,
4,
WhitePixel(display, screen),
colour.pixel);
XSelectInput(display,
window.win,
ExposureMask |
KeyPressMask |
ButtonPressMask |
StructureNotifyMask );
XMapWindow (display, window.win);
window.gc = XCreateGC(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0,
NULL);

return window;
}


:lol: :lol: :lol:

harmonkoz
10-26-2002, 03:45 PM
#include <X11/Xlib.h>
#include <X11/Xutil.h>
#include <X11/Xos.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include <unistd.h>

#define BUTTONS ?
#define XTERM "/usr/X11R5/bin/xterm -sb -e rlogin"
#define BACKGROUND_COLOUR "light grey"
#define BUTTON_COLOUR "blue"
#define DOWN "down"
#define ACTIVE "active"

Display *display;
int screen;
Colormap colormap;
char * machines[] = {
"marin",
"xarque",
"dragon",
"saturn",
"sentinel",
"silver",
"sirius"
};

struct {
XPoint topleft;
XPoint topright;
XPoint botleft;
XPoint botright;
} buttons[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info
{
Window win;
GC gc;
};

void init_buttons(char *button_caps[]);
void draw_image (Window, GC *, char *button_caps[]);
int draw_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *text,
int x, int y,
int width, int height,
int,
char button_caps[]);
void set_colour (GC *gc, char *, Colormap);

int where_am_i (Window, GC *gc);
int process_button
(Window win,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
int button);

void press_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
char *text );

struct window_info create_window
(int x,
int y);
void execute_command
(int root,
char *command,
char *machine);

main()
{
unsigned int width, height;
int x=0, y=0;
unsigned int border_width=4;
char *button_caps[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info window;

Window win;
GC gc;
XEvent report;
XFontStruct *font_info;
XColor colour;

char * display_name=NULL;

display=XOpenDisplay(display_name);

screen=DefaultScreen(display);

colormap = DefaultColormap(display, screen);

width = 90; height = (BUTTONS+1)* 30 +15+5;
window=create_window(width, height);
win = window.win;
gc = window.gc;

{
int exit_prog=1;

init_buttons(button_caps);

while (exit_prog)
{
XNextEvent(display, &report);

switch (report.type)
{
{
draw_image(win, &gc, button_caps);
break;
}
case ButtonPress:
{
int button;
button=where_am_i(win, &gc);
process_button(win, &gc, button_caps, button);

if ( button == BUTTONS) exit_prog=0;

break;
}
case KeyPress:
{
break;
}
case 22:
{
break;
}
default:
{
printf ("Unexpected Event occoured in xxterm window. Event No. is %i\n",
report.type);
break;
}
}
}
}
}
void execute_command(int root, char *command, char *machine)
{
char full_cmd[100];

if (root)
{
if (getuid())
{
printf("You are not authorised to execute this command\n");
return;
}
}
strcpy( full_cmd, command);
strcat( full_cmd, " ");
strcat( full_cmd, machine);
strcat( full_cmd, " &");
system(full_cmd);
}
int process_button (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], int button)
{

if (button >= 0 && button < BUTTONS)
{

button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

execute_command(0, XTERM, machines[button]);

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}

if ( button == BUTTONS)
{
button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}
return (1);
}

void draw_image (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[])
{
int i, x;
for (i=0, x=15; i< BUTTONS; i++, x+=30)
{
draw_button(win, gc, machines[i], 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;
}
draw_button(win, gc, "Exit" , 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;

}
draw_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *text, int x, int y,
int width, int height, int box,
char button_cap[])
{

char top_left_col[80];
char bottom_right_col[80];
char text_col[80];

int yfudge=height-5;
int xfudge=x+6;

struct {
XPoint p;
} points[6];

int thickness=2;
int xinner=x+thickness;
int yinner=y+thickness;
int hinner=height-(thickness*2);
int winner=width-(thickness*2);

if (!strcmp(button_cap, ACTIVE))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "white");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "slategrey");
}

if (!strcmp(button_cap, DOWN))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "slategrey");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "white");
}

set_colour(gc, top_left_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y;
points[1].p.x=x+width; points[1].p.y=y;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=xinner; points[4].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[5].p.x=x; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, bottom_right_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y+height;
points[1].p.x=xinner; points[1].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner+winner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=x+width; points[4].p.y=y;
points[5].p.x=x+width; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, BUTTON_COLOUR, colormap);
XDrawString (display, win, *gc,
xfudge, y+yfudge,
text,
strlen(text));
buttons[box].topleft.x=x; buttons[box].topleft.y=y;
buttons[box].topright.x=x+width; buttons[box].topright.y=y;
buttons[box].botright.x=x+width; buttons[box].botright.y=y+height;
buttons[box].botleft.x=x; buttons[box].botleft.y=y+height;

}
int where_am_i(Window win, GC *gc)
{

Window root, child;
int root_x, root_y;
int win_x, win_y;
int mask;
int inc;
int button;
XQueryPointer( display, win,
&root, &child,
&root_x, &root_y,
&win_x, &win_y,
&mask);
button=-1;
for (inc = 0 ; inc <= BUTTONS && button == -1; inc++)
{
if ( win_x > buttons[inc].topleft.x && win_x < buttons[inc].topright.x
&& win_y > buttons[inc].topleft.y && win_y < buttons[inc].botleft.y)
{
button = inc;
}
}

return(button);
}
void press_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], char *text )
{

draw_image(win, gc, button_caps);
}
void set_colour (GC *gc, char * colour, Colormap colormap)
{
XColor xcolour;

XParseColor(display, colormap, colour, &xcolour);

XAllocColor(display, colormap, &xcolour);

XSetForeground(display, *gc, xcolour.pixel);
}
void init_buttons(char *button_caps[])
{
int i;

for (i=0; i <= BUTTONS; i++) button_caps[i] = ACTIVE;

}
struct window_info create_window(int x, int y)
{
struct window_info window;
XColor colour;
XParseColor(display, colormap, BACKGROUND_COLOUR, &colour);
XAllocColor(display, colormap, &colour);
window.win = XCreateSimpleWindow(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0, 0,
x, y,
4,
WhitePixel(display, screen),
colour.pixel);
XSelectInput(display,
window.win,
ExposureMask |
KeyPressMask |
ButtonPressMask |
StructureNotifyMask );
XMapWindow (display, window.win);
window.gc = XCreateGC(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0,
NULL);

return window;
}

BTP
10-26-2002, 03:47 PM
harmonkoz,Wharfrat you posted all the script and code just to say "Jazzbow Fudge Packer Sucks A$$" ? geez the Phins admins were right about you two .

WharfRat
10-26-2002, 03:50 PM
Yes... and the posts he was satiring were so very relevant to both football, and smack...

For someone who just walked in to this forum, you sure are self-righteous aren't you?

inFINSible
10-26-2002, 03:54 PM
He's a Butt Tounging Professional.....wharf, be careful, he can lick you back there from thirty paces. They call him Angel Soft on the tournament circuit.

harmonkoz
10-26-2002, 03:56 PM
Hell it has multiplied. We got another jack ass named BTP now to? Christ this Jazzbow dude has more personalities than I can shake a stick at.

Butt Tasting Pirate?

Jazzbow
10-26-2002, 03:57 PM
Sick part is, that he writes code about as well as he smacks. Like crap!

BTP
10-26-2002, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Hell it has multiplied. We got another jack ass named BTP now to? Christ this Jazzbow dude has more personalities than I can shake a stick at.

you forget to your paxil today? Jazzbow and I are two different people.

harmonkoz
10-26-2002, 04:01 PM
Gee whats wrong numb nuts? No comments for you to find your way through the forest?

You suck a$$ flamer boy.

inFINSible
10-26-2002, 04:06 PM
no....not really.....you have alot more in common than you think.

You both breath through your mouth.

You both clean urinals with your tongue.

You both wear large blocks of cheese on your head.

....and both of you pretend to have a big ***** on the internet.


Jazzbow and I are two different people.

BTP
10-26-2002, 04:10 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Gee whats wrong numb nuts? No comments for you to find your way through the forest?

You suck a$$ flamer boy.

Wow your a testy little booger. Got Lombardi Trophies ,trouser trout mouth?


Cpt Dick and AJ according to your "Smack" guidelines this "ass flamer boy" and "numb nuts" is not allowed here. Can we please dump the potty mouth from in here?

harmonkoz
10-26-2002, 04:12 PM
I reserve it exclusively for use on Packer fans. It seems to help get things through your thick f'ing skulls.

inFINSible
10-26-2002, 04:13 PM
Better bring some dynamite koz.

BTP
10-26-2002, 04:17 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
I reserve it exclusively for use on Packer fans. It seems to help get things through your thick f'ing skulls.

snicker again when is the last time you won a superbowl? Get back to us "Packer Fans" when you have actually won something in the NFL. K? Thxs!
:D

sigh always a bridesmaid ,never a bride huh? Whooops :lol:

harmonkoz
10-26-2002, 04:32 PM
Yeah but the Pack has this thing where they are great for a while, then they suck for thirty years... Besides Packer fans are known to kill coaches dogs and nail the carcass to his front door. (Dan Devine)

Besides that I really do not want to hang out with people who wear cheese on their head. Little strange for me. But hell all of Wisconsin is pretty f'ing strange. Home of Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Ghein, Milwaukee Brewers, Miller (Sucks)....

BTP
10-26-2002, 04:39 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Yeah but the Pack has this thing where they are great for a while, then they suck for thirty years...) it's 24 years Not 30 get your facts right!



Originally posted by harmonkoz
Besides Packer fans are known to kill coaches dogs and nail the carcass to his front door. (Dan Devine)
...)

Ok ,where are you coming up with this? Fiction can be fun boys and girls. Now for the truth. Dan Devine dog was shot? Yes ! Only after repeating warnings from a local farmer down the street that Devines hunting dog was going into the farmers chicken coop at night killing the chickens. But hey that was a nice attempt of making something up!

p.s. Nobody nailed the dog to his front door. The Wisconsin papers covered this in May of this year when Devine passed away.

harmonkoz
10-26-2002, 07:43 PM
What about those f'ers that like to cut people up and pack them away in barrels for a rainy day? They putting something in your water up there or what?

acb
10-26-2002, 07:45 PM
Get it right, we shot Tony Mandarich and nailed his carcass to the side of Lambeau Field.

BTP
10-26-2002, 07:53 PM
Originally posted by acb
Get it right, we shot Tony Mandarich and nailed his carcass to the side of Lambeau Field.


oh oh that bring us to another point , How is Tom Braatz work out for the Phins? :lol: :lol: Nothing like picking up the Packer scraps ?

T for Texas
10-26-2002, 08:13 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz


#include <X11/Xlib.h>
#include <X11/Xutil.h>
#include <X11/Xos.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include <unistd.h>

#define BUTTONS ?
#define XTERM "/usr/X11R5/bin/xterm -sb -e rlogin"
#define BACKGROUND_COLOUR "light grey"
#define BUTTON_COLOUR "blue"
#define DOWN "down"
#define ACTIVE "active"

Display *display;
int screen;
Colormap colormap;
char * machines[] = {
"marin",
"xarque",
"dragon",
"saturn",
"sentinel",
"silver",
"sirius"
};

struct {
XPoint topleft;
XPoint topright;
XPoint botleft;
XPoint botright;
} buttons[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info
{
Window win;
GC gc;
};

void init_buttons(char *button_caps[]);
void draw_image (Window, GC *, char *button_caps[]);
int draw_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *text,
int x, int y,
int width, int height,
int,
char button_caps[]);
void set_colour (GC *gc, char *, Colormap);

int where_am_i (Window, GC *gc);
int process_button
(Window win,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
int button);

void press_button
(Window,
GC *gc,
char *button_caps[],
char *text );

struct window_info create_window
(int x,
int y);
void execute_command
(int root,
char *command,
char *machine);

main()
{
unsigned int width, height;
int x=0, y=0;
unsigned int border_width=4;
char *button_caps[BUTTONS+1];

struct window_info window;

Window win;
GC gc;
XEvent report;
XFontStruct *font_info;
XColor colour;

char * display_name=NULL;

display=XOpenDisplay(display_name);

screen=DefaultScreen(display);

colormap = DefaultColormap(display, screen);

width = 90; height = (BUTTONS+1)* 30 +15+5;
window=create_window(width, height);
win = window.win;
gc = window.gc;

{
int exit_prog=1;

init_buttons(button_caps);

while (exit_prog)
{
XNextEvent(display, &report);

switch (report.type)
{
{
draw_image(win, &gc, button_caps);
break;
}
case ButtonPress:
{
int button;
button=where_am_i(win, &gc);
process_button(win, &gc, button_caps, button);

if ( button == BUTTONS) exit_prog=0;

break;
}
case KeyPress:
{
break;
}
case 22:
{
break;
}
default:
{
printf ("Unexpected Event occoured in xxterm window. Event No. is %i\n",
report.type);
break;
}
}
}
}
}
void execute_command(int root, char *command, char *machine)
{
char full_cmd[100];

if (root)
{
if (getuid())
{
printf("You are not authorised to execute this command\n");
return;
}
}
strcpy( full_cmd, command);
strcat( full_cmd, " ");
strcat( full_cmd, machine);
strcat( full_cmd, " &");
system(full_cmd);
}
int process_button (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], int button)
{

if (button >= 0 && button < BUTTONS)
{

button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

execute_command(0, XTERM, machines[button]);

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}

if ( button == BUTTONS)
{
button_caps[button] = DOWN;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

sleep(1);

button_caps[button] = ACTIVE;
press_button(win, gc, button_caps, " " );

}
return (1);
}

void draw_image (Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[])
{
int i, x;
for (i=0, x=15; i< BUTTONS; i++, x+=30)
{
draw_button(win, gc, machines[i], 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;
}
draw_button(win, gc, "Exit" , 15, x, 60, 20, i, button_caps[i]) ;

}
draw_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *text, int x, int y,
int width, int height, int box,
char button_cap[])
{

char top_left_col[80];
char bottom_right_col[80];
char text_col[80];

int yfudge=height-5;
int xfudge=x+6;

struct {
XPoint p;
} points[6];

int thickness=2;
int xinner=x+thickness;
int yinner=y+thickness;
int hinner=height-(thickness*2);
int winner=width-(thickness*2);

if (!strcmp(button_cap, ACTIVE))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "white");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "slategrey");
}

if (!strcmp(button_cap, DOWN))
{
strcpy(top_left_col, "slategrey");
strcpy(bottom_right_col, "white");
}

set_colour(gc, top_left_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y;
points[1].p.x=x+width; points[1].p.y=y;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=xinner; points[4].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[5].p.x=x; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, bottom_right_col, colormap);

points[0].p.x=x; points[0].p.y=y+height;
points[1].p.x=xinner; points[1].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[2].p.x=xinner+winner; points[2].p.y=yinner+hinner;
points[3].p.x=xinner+winner; points[3].p.y=yinner;
points[4].p.x=x+width; points[4].p.y=y;
points[5].p.x=x+width; points[5].p.y=y+height;

XFillPolygon(
display,
win,
*gc,
points,
6,
Nonconvex,
CoordModeOrigin);

set_colour(gc, BUTTON_COLOUR, colormap);
XDrawString (display, win, *gc,
xfudge, y+yfudge,
text,
strlen(text));
buttons[box].topleft.x=x; buttons[box].topleft.y=y;
buttons[box].topright.x=x+width; buttons[box].topright.y=y;
buttons[box].botright.x=x+width; buttons[box].botright.y=y+height;
buttons[box].botleft.x=x; buttons[box].botleft.y=y+height;

}
int where_am_i(Window win, GC *gc)
{

Window root, child;
int root_x, root_y;
int win_x, win_y;
int mask;
int inc;
int button;
XQueryPointer( display, win,
&root, &child,
&root_x, &root_y,
&win_x, &win_y,
&mask);
button=-1;
for (inc = 0 ; inc <= BUTTONS && button == -1; inc++)
{
if ( win_x > buttons[inc].topleft.x && win_x < buttons[inc].topright.x
&& win_y > buttons[inc].topleft.y && win_y < buttons[inc].botleft.y)
{
button = inc;
}
}

return(button);
}
void press_button(Window win, GC *gc, char *button_caps[], char *text )
{

draw_image(win, gc, button_caps);
}
void set_colour (GC *gc, char * colour, Colormap colormap)
{
XColor xcolour;

XParseColor(display, colormap, colour, &xcolour);

XAllocColor(display, colormap, &xcolour);

XSetForeground(display, *gc, xcolour.pixel);
}
void init_buttons(char *button_caps[])
{
int i;

for (i=0; i <= BUTTONS; i++) button_caps[i] = ACTIVE;

}
struct window_info create_window(int x, int y)
{
struct window_info window;
XColor colour;
XParseColor(display, colormap, BACKGROUND_COLOUR, &colour);
XAllocColor(display, colormap, &colour);
window.win = XCreateSimpleWindow(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0, 0,
x, y,
4,
WhitePixel(display, screen),
colour.pixel);
XSelectInput(display,
window.win,
ExposureMask |
KeyPressMask |
ButtonPressMask |
StructureNotifyMask );
XMapWindow (display, window.win);
window.gc = XCreateGC(display,
RootWindow(display, screen),
0,
NULL);

return window;
}


Is it that this guy doesn't have the nads to say what he wants to say straight up, or is the English language so elusive to him that he simply cannot?

Mr.Reality
10-26-2002, 08:33 PM
That's the idiot who's trying to pretend he's ignoring everybody.

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-26-2002, 11:21 PM
Their ALL Stinking Jet Fans!!

Jazzbow
10-27-2002, 07:33 PM
Pierpont is more than a tad pissed off at the laziness of this scammer. Dammit -- do some work ya schmuk. Anyhoo... Pierpont carrots him by mentioning piles of money, and then cronks him over the head with some forged document demands...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Kuffour,

Yes, my flight schedule has been confirmed. We've purchased the tickets already and look forward with great anticipation to the flight. Glad to hear that you'll be at the airport to pick me and Lulu Belle up. Please do make reservations at the La Palm Royal Beach Hotel and spare no expense.

I've had less luck finding a phone plan for calling Africa than I anticipated. It seems not many independent phone companies in the States handle such calls. However, I do have some good news, I believe I've located a firm in the Caribbean that will be adequate. I hope to finally make it through on the phone and speak to you soon!

I understand and accept the mistake you made regarding the alluvial gold actually being 94.5% pure. Regardless, there will still be plenty of money for both you and I to profit upon. I also understand that Charles & J.P.R Co. LTD. is a firm contracted to expediate and handle the alluvial gold. However, I still don't have any documentation that clearly shows ownership by your firm of the 500kg of alluvial gold. You will NEED to FAX, or send as an email attachment, a contract between your firms regarding the the alluvial gold.

As for the incorporation, I still believe it is best handled before I arrive in Accra. Please send me the incorporation forms so I may fill them out and submit them, along with the $1,800 incorporation fee, prior to my arrival in your country.

One final matter. You have had over a week to prepare the letter requesting I handle the alluvial gold sale as an agent for the L.F.A. charity. I am a bit disturbed that I have not received it, nor did you even mention it. That respresents a significant saving for all parties involved in the alluvial gold sale. I have already tied up $50,000 dollars in a bank in Ghana, as well as spending and additional $4,000+ dollars for the airplane tickets. Incorporation will cost an additional $1,800. The hotel and other expenses are going to drive my cost even higher.

I realize you folks in the tropics may do things at a more relaxed basis -- what with spending the afternoons drinking coconut wine and goo-goo eying the cabana boy and all -- but I must INSIST that you forward the letter as we discussed and you AGREED to do.

Yours,

Pierpont E. Weaver, ESQ.

Jazzbow
10-28-2002, 10:47 PM
KaFool gets the last message loud and clear, but then the little buttmunch starts fishing for an address.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear weaver,

How are you today with your family, Two things for me.

(1) Please draft the text what you will like me to send to your people and let me have their address.

(2) Let me have the delivery address for incoporation forms which will soon come through DHL.

I will get back to you soon.

Kuffour.

harmonkoz
10-28-2002, 10:49 PM
Fudge-Packer

Jazzbow
10-28-2002, 10:50 PM
Well, this is a fairly transparent dodge, but what's a counter-spammer to do? Besides, if he pushes it I have a plot twist in mid already.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr Kaffour,

It is so good to hear from you. How are you and your family? I will address your points in reverse order.

2) I'm travelling between offices this week so finding an office to DHL to forms to is problematical. It would be much simpler and more efficient to email or FAX the forms to me.

1) The letter will be much more effective if it is written in your own termonology and style. You may address it to me. State that you've heard that I am a board member of the L.F.A. Charity. Say you admire the work they do (grab some examples from the article I previously emailed you) and would like to assist it. Ask me to handle the alluvial gold sale and contribute my portion to the charity. Before you mail it, please email me it so I can be sure there are no glaring errors. Once the letter is correct I will send you and address to mail it to.

Tanks so much for your prompt response to these important matters.

Yours,

P. Weaver, ESQ.

Jazzbow
10-31-2002, 11:06 PM
Well, KaFool tried to fax some documents through. only one made it in an even half-way legible form.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

We hereby inform you that the minners association agreed today that you are to pay 7% seven percent of the total value of the merchandise to cover the documentations and shipment expences to your destination. That the 7% will also be deducted from our payment after sales of the products.

Note the price is $6,500 USD per KG Quantity 500KG. As you can see the price is better than before after the meeting today.

Pls, Confirm the receipt of the three pages of fax I sent to you today.

Many regards.

E. Kuffour

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is so large I linked to it:

Certificate of Ownership (http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/ownership_agreement.jpg)

Jazzbow
10-31-2002, 11:07 PM
Am I the only one having trouble figuring out just what the hell the terms of the imaginary business deal are between Pierpont and KaFool? Head Chemist, what do you make of this? And where the hell is Pierpont's lawyer?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr Kuffour,

Unfortunately I only received one of the three FAXs clear enough to read. The Agreement of 29 October between your company and Charl & J.P.R. which transfered the gold to you at a price of $6000 per kilo. Please resend the other two, or attach them to an email.

Yes, $6500 (or $6000) is a most excellent price considering today's L.M.E live price of $10,197 per kilo. I must say, a most impressive and outstanding job of negotiation on your part. I applaud your business accuman.

Yours,

Pierpont Weaver, ESQ.

Jazzbow
10-31-2002, 11:08 PM
I spoke too soon. Received a brief uninteresting note from KaFool.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

I will refax the two copies tomorrow, Pls, confirm when you receive it.

Thanks.

E. Kuffour

Jazzbow
10-31-2002, 11:09 PM
Whoo-Hooo!!! Good news for the L.F.A., they're gonna be rolling in alluvial gold funding soon!!!

Pierpont got the following email and two FAXs. He'll have to ponder a bit (and deal with Dr. Ben first).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir,

I will fax you the two documents today.

I hope you have seen the final conlusion of the association concerning your goods and the 7% which you need to come along with to facilitate all the neccessary things to your destination. As you can see I made the price the be better like that so you can give me some commission from the huge profit which you making from the gold.

Thanks.

Kuffour

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again, links because they are large documents:


Court Document (http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/ownership_court)

L.F.A. Donation Approved (http://www.jazzopolis.com/pix/lfa_request.jpg)

harmonkoz
10-31-2002, 11:09 PM
Not this f'ing thread again. :rolleyes:

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-31-2002, 11:11 PM
Relax, my little Board Birch!!

Mommy will buy you that Weakly Reader tomorrow, so won't be confused any more!!

harmonkoz
10-31-2002, 11:14 PM
Baby Ho, quit repeating yourself. As I pointed out in the other thread you are spewing pleanty of $hit to cover the whole board, duplication is unnecessary.

You have no game.

Sabre Ally
10-31-2002, 11:17 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Not this f'ing thread again. :rolleyes:

It's actually pretty funny if you bother to actually read it. :D

harmonkoz
10-31-2002, 11:19 PM
I know Ally... I just ain't into that crap. Too much damn reading.

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-31-2002, 11:20 PM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Baby Ho, quit repeating yourself. As I pointed out in the other thread you are spewing pleanty of $hit to cover the whole board, duplication is unnecessary.

You have no game.


HandonMonkeyooz

You have no smack

You have no game

You have no DICK

You have NO REAL NFL football team!!

Sabre Ally
10-31-2002, 11:21 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish

You have NO REAL NFL football team!!

We have the top quarterback and the top two receivers, what rock have you been hiding under? :rolleyes:

Capt. Dick
10-31-2002, 11:24 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish
HandonMonkeyooz

You have no smack

You have no game

You have no DICK

You have NO REAL NFL football team!!


You sure give my given name a work-out, kid. LOL

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-31-2002, 11:25 PM
Originally posted by Sabre Ally
We have the top quarterback and the top two receivers, what rock have you been hiding under? :rolleyes:

and a defense that gets lite up like a Christmas tree!! All you have to do is watch the games !!

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-31-2002, 11:26 PM
Originally posted by Capt. Dick
You sure give my given name a work-out, kid. LOL

:lol: :lol: :evil:

Sorry Capt Male private part!!

Capt. Dick
10-31-2002, 11:27 PM
Nah, go for it. LOL

Jazzbow
10-31-2002, 11:28 PM
Please stop destroying my work with your incessent babbling you mindless buffoon.

Sabre Ally
10-31-2002, 11:29 PM
Originally posted by Baby Fish
and a defense that gets lite up like a Christmas tree!! All you have to do is watch the games !!

Suuuuure. The Phins didn't even have enough offense to light our defense up like a penlight, much less like a Christmas tree. :lol: :lol:

Sabre Ally
10-31-2002, 11:30 PM
Oops. Sorry for hijacking your thread, Jazzbow.

Jazzbow
10-31-2002, 11:32 PM
Originally posted by Sabre Ally
Oops. Sorry for hijacking your thread, Jazzbow.

You are not the buffoon to which I was referring dear. :lol:

SoFL-Cheesehead
10-31-2002, 11:58 PM
Originally posted by Sabre Ally
Suuuuure. The Phins didn't even have enough offense to light our defense up like a penlight, much less like a Christmas tree. :lol: :lol:

The JEts, Raiders, Vikings, Bears, Texans, and Denver sure did!!:lol: :lol:

Jazzbow
11-01-2002, 01:02 AM
KaFool is all over the spectrum with the amount of money he is trying to get. The poof oaf keeps throwing mud against the wall and hoping sometyhing sticks. Now he wants 1.8 million up front for the gold. Sure! No problem! There is just this one little issue concern of Weaver's chemist...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------


I received the two FAXs you sent. Thank you very much for the memo concerning involving the L.F.A. Between your most excellent job of negotiating a lower price to the alluvial gold, and the ability to shelter some of the tax cost behind a charity we will have saved a considerable amount of money.

Yes my friend, I think it is only fair that we adjust our percentages in the partnership so you get a larger slice of the pie. By my calculations if we went to a fifty-fifty split of the 20% we would make out handsomely. I suggest we adjust those figures so we treat ourselves as the equal partners we are in these shenanigans.

The request that I put up 7% as a bond is more problematical. That amounts to over 1.8 million dollars my friend, and securing that much cash on short notice may be difficult.

Another matter that concerns me and my Head Chemist (I have attached his memo) is the ownership trail of the alluvial gold. We do have question, which mine did the alluvial gold get mined in? As his letter indicates, we would like to have documentation of the alluvial gold's source.

Also, if I am to put up the entire 1.8 million dollar bond in cash I'm going to have to insist on receiving a 5 gram sample for testing purposes as my chemist requests. If that is ok with you contact me and I'll give you a secure address the sample may be shipped to.

Yours,

Pierpont

http://www.finheaven.com/clear.gif

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 02:43 AM
Please stop destroying my work with your incessent babbling you mindless buffoon.

Work... lmao... Work gets published, work makes you money, this is senseless crap.

Sabre Ally
11-01-2002, 02:46 AM
At least it's something different, instead of calling each other fags back and forth all night long

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 02:47 AM
I will give you that Ally. Barely.

Paco
11-01-2002, 02:50 AM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Work gets published, work makes you money, this is senseless crap.
That's what Dr. Suess thought.

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 02:51 AM
:monkey: Dr. Suess

PAP
11-01-2002, 02:54 AM
Buffalo Bills?....yup they suck too!

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 02:57 AM
Yeah, we will be seeing your Nancy-a$$ team on the 22nd of December dickless. I will be there to witness the severe a$$ whipping we are going to lay on you ladies at your own house.

Sabre Ally
11-01-2002, 02:58 AM
Damn, I wish I was going to that game

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:01 AM
Had my tickets since the first of September Ally.

Green Bay is probably one of my favorite places to watch a game. Been there a $hitload of times. KC too.

Paco
11-01-2002, 03:02 AM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
Yeah, we will be seeing your Nancy-a$$ team on the 22nd of December dickless. I will be there to witness the severe a$$ whipping we are going to lay on you ladies at your own house.
I don't know if you've notice or not, but Buffalo has a tendancy to choke; especially in the most meaningful games.

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:02 AM
Only been to the Ralph once though. :(

Sabre Ally
11-01-2002, 03:02 AM
I have to go home for Christmas, and it's nowhere near Green Bay :(

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:03 AM
Nah, that is just Super Bowls excluding games coached by Wade.

Sabre Ally
11-01-2002, 03:03 AM
I forgot how many times I've been the The Ralph....they were all this season though.

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:04 AM
I am praying for snow... I will be the guy with the Buffalo Bills hat and no shirt. Complete with my mega-mug of beer. :)

Sabre Ally
11-01-2002, 03:06 AM
Dang, we hijacked Jazzbow's thread again.

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:06 AM
I forgot how many times I've been the The Ralph....they were all this season though.

I love the Ralph, love the people... You get the same in Green Bay and Kansas City, never ran into any problems at either place. Now Oakland-Alameda was a different story. Every time I turned around I damn near got in a knockdown dragout.

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:08 AM
Dang, we hijacked Jazzbow's thread again.

I will be sure and send him a sympathy card. :rolleyes:

PAP
11-01-2002, 03:09 AM
Things must be bad in Buffalo,with no money for their own forum:cry:

Sabre Ally
11-01-2002, 03:11 AM
We have a forum........but we can't talk smack at it. We have to behave, which is, of course, no fun. :lol:

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:11 AM
Hell the Bills have too many damn boards.

Paco
11-01-2002, 03:12 AM
Originally posted by harmonkoz
I love the Ralph, love the people... You get the same in Green Bay and Kansas City.
Flower boy! Get off the hallucenigenics and skip the foreplay, OK? You're either in or you're out. This isn't the 4th and 9 free for all.

harmonkoz
11-01-2002, 03:14 AM
What the hell are you rambling about Taco?

SoFL-Cheesehead
11-01-2002, 08:25 AM
Holy Cow, HandonMonkeyooz!!

With that little SQUIRREL Dick of yours hits the COLD air of Green Bay, you will have to sit down to Piss!! :eek: :eek: What ever is left of your little needle DICK will be almost inpossible to find in all those FAT rolls!! :evil: :evil:

Jazzbow
11-01-2002, 03:48 PM
How dare him compare 'Ralphie' to Lambeau. Moron.

Jazzbow
11-03-2002, 01:45 AM
Oh ****

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Weaver,

As you demanded on your last mail, Pls, send me your delivery address Immediately so that I can send you sample through DHL on monday. The sample will be more than 5gram which you demanded. I will also add the copy of the Certificate of Origin and may add any other relevant document. This is to cut every thing short and finalise the transaction to proof all things right.

awaiting the address and hoping to meet you soon in Accra.

Regards.

E. Kuffour

Jazzbow
11-03-2002, 01:47 AM
Dear Dr. Kuffour,

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound as if I was imposing on you with a demand. Mr. Naborhood has been driving my crazy with memos over this gold, and I really appreciate you sending along a sample to allay his concerns.

Next week I'll be at the convention in Miami I mentioned in an earlier email. We'll have our lab in Indianna handle the analysis so if you could send the sample there it will be most efficient on our end. Include any certificates or other paper work you feel is pertinent along with the sample and they'll be able to get it to me. The address of the lab, and person who the alluvial gold should be sent to, is:

Weaver Enterprises
attn: John Smith
500 Sagamore Parkway W, Ste N3
West Lafayette, IN
47906-1459

Thank you so very much for your understanding of the situation. I'll have a very busy week in Miami and I certainly look forward to meeting you and your associates in Accra on the 12th of November. I think this is going to be only the start of a much more profitable relationship between us.

Your friend and partner,

Pierpont Weaver

Jazzbow
11-03-2002, 01:47 AM
Just discovered that KaFool had sent a voice message too.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

<embed src="http://www.jazzopolis.com/sound/voice4.WAV" autostart="false">

Jazzbow
11-03-2002, 01:48 AM
Dear Dr. Kuffour,

I made a slight mistake in the address I sent you earlier. I forgot to route it to the Metallurgical Department. To avoid any chance of them misplacing it in the inter-office mail please address it to:

Weaver Enterprises
attn: John Smith
Metallurgical Dept.
500 Sagamore Parkway W, Ste N3
West Lafayette, IN
47906-1459

Once again, thank you for being understanding and accomodating over this matter.

Your friend and partner,

Pierpont Weaver

Jazzbow
11-04-2002, 06:25 PM
So far no excuses or dodges out of KaFool.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Weaver,

Thanks , The parcel will be sent tomorrow monday 4/11/2002. As you know you have about one week to be in Ghana so prepare your self financially and other wise to meet up all the arranges. Indeed once this first one goes on well with understanding on both parties many ways shall open and this will be the smallest and the beginning.

I will let you know tomorrow what and what that is in the parcel.

God bless you. and hoping to see you soon.

Regards.


E Kuffour

Jazzbow
11-04-2002, 06:26 PM
Pierpont sends a brief email...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Kuffour,

Very good news. It is late and I am tired so I shall be brief. I'll be at the Convention tomorrow, but should be able to check my email from time to time. I'll email you as soon as I get word the package was received.

Also, you need not worry, the preparations on this side are proceding very nicely. So far I've made much better progress than I had anticipated. I do believe this transaction is going to continue to develop smoothly.

Your friend,

Pierpont