View Full Version : Got arested agen

07-27-2005, 02:58 AM
hey everywon this is John Simmons: its really hot hear in illinoy and ive been trying to stay inside as much as i can but i have to go to work: dug got me on at a bakery so ive been working thier about a weak: i put the bred in bags and sit them out in the front for peopel to by:

thats rojer who is won of the bakers: this is him puting bred in the big oven: he weers the hood to keep sparks from his hare: anyway at about 8 this morning rojer was out in the front of the bakery talking and i herd a voise in the oven: it sounded evil to me and im sure that it was a demen: so i walkd up to the oven and i lookd into the fire and i sed {you cant scare me:}: so then i walkd away and i herd it say what sounded like {blood bath}: i went over to the fridge and i got out sum garlic: rojer came back in and he sed {John what are you doing i need that garlic for baking today:}: i sed {i wil get you more: theirs sumthing more important rite now}: he tried to grab it from me but i pushd him away and sed {just live yore life and stay out of mine:}: so he went over and sat down at the table: i took the garlic and i thru it into the fire: i heard crackling and im sure that it killd the demen: i red in a book that i orderd abowt how to get rid of evil and the garlic was won of the ways: so after that i left to go by more garlic for rojer:

so on the way to the store i came across this guy selling frute and i desided that i wood by a pineappel: wile i was paying he sed {you look familyer are you a star:}: i sed {ive done sum stunt films and ive got a band and ive got many hollywood people interested in me:} he sed {yes ive seen your stunt videos and ive herd your bands demo: your John Simmons arent you:} i sed {yes}: he shook my hand and told me to follow him becaus he had a suprise for me: so he took me back into an alley and opend up a door with a key:

well these women were in their and they lookd at me and the won in the silver dress sed {look its John Simmons: i no your band i always go and see you at the silver doller bar:} they all came over to me and were wispering in my ear and they led me to a bedroom:

well wile we were all in bed we herd the door brake open and {poleese} yelld: so i took off into another room and hid behind a couch: i got this pic as they were serching befor they found me: this guy and his kid were hiding behind sum close in the closet: soon they found me tho and i sed {do you no who i am: you will pay for this:}: the poleese man sed {you shut it and lets go down to the stayshen}: i sed {what have you got on me:}: he sed {your under arest for sex with prostytutes}: rite before they put the cuffs on me i got on my walky talky and told dug wear i was: he sed {ill be rite their John}:

so as they were hawling me out i broke away and took off running: i cut thru sum woods and came to a grassy area wear their was a manhole i kickd it open "i had handcuffs on" and i droppd down and hid down in the tunnels: dug got this pic of sum experts who were calld in to tell the poleese wear the tunnels went to: i stayd down their for about 4 hours and then i herd men coming: i tried to find a way to escape but they got me:

well we got to the stayshen and they sed i cood go becaus everywon sed that i hadnt payd for sex and that i hadnt done anything wrong: so i got home and their was sum kid hiding behind the tree in the backyard: i sed {get out of hear}: she didnt say anything: i told her that if she didnt leave i wood call the polees: she still just stayd behind the tree: i desided that i woodnt call the polees on her rite away: i wood scare her myself:

so i ran inside and pushd back my hare and put this mask on: dug got the pic just as i was about to go out: i ran outside with my chainsaw and revd it and sed {its time for you to die}: she ran off screeming:

well i herd sumwon behind me and i turned around qwickly and acsidentally cut his arm with the chainsaw: it was my neybor steve who is also a good frend of mine and he had come over to see what was going on: so we took him to the hospital and he will be fine: i let him stay over at my house tonight and watch ernhart dvds: we also drank beer and had a smoking contest:

well thats what happend today: i hope everywon is doing good: ill talk to you later:

John Simmons

07-27-2005, 03:02 AM
ernhart dvds, beer, and a smoking contest. Does life get any better.

ricky williams
07-27-2005, 03:34 AM
post replay says if u ever run into a situation u can't figure out then die and hopefully there is such a thing a reincarnation. if not ur dead and it won't matter

07-27-2005, 04:20 AM
Is there ever a bad time for Ernhart dvds?

07-27-2005, 06:04 AM
i like the prostitute on the left :hump:

07-27-2005, 10:29 AM

This is grate news. Tell Dug we said hi and are glad he is beter. Last tyme u postd, Dug wasnt duin so wel.

PS: Those gurls in the jale are hot.

-Sincerely yours forever,


07-27-2005, 10:32 AM
:rofl: That's Elian Gonzalez in the closet.

07-27-2005, 10:41 AM
i like the prostitute on the left :hump:

Me too. John is a god among men.

07-27-2005, 10:42 AM
By the way, John: where in "Illinoy" were you? You could have brought your hos over to Springfield, and we could have watched sports at Sammy's Sports Bar and I could have bought your posse drinks.

07-27-2005, 05:20 PM
Im glad you killed that demon, good job John.

07-27-2005, 07:30 PM
John Simmons is the man!


07-27-2005, 07:38 PM
Dang John, I wished my life was exciting as yours.:( ;)

07-27-2005, 09:23 PM
John Simmons = God.

You are by far the best poster on these boards.

If they would have put you in the March brackets John, you would have won.

Funny how they keep you out of all those contests, March Brackets, Survior, they are afraid of the fans you have John!

07-27-2005, 09:37 PM
i like the prostitute on the left :hump:

Really? I think the crack wh0re in the middle is way more attractive. :eek:

07-27-2005, 09:39 PM
Post of the year! :roflmao::roflmao:

07-27-2005, 09:40 PM
Really? I think the crack wh0re in the middle is way more attractive. :eek:

What? are you kidding the one setting on the bench is by far the hottest.You just don't know class when you see it.:tongue: :D

07-27-2005, 09:43 PM
What? are you kidding the one setting on the bench is by far the hottest.No just don't know class when you see it.:tongue: :D

But the question is.. Would you pay for it?

God, i hope not. :rofl3:

07-28-2005, 09:42 AM
John Simmons = God.

You are by far the best poster on these boards.

If they would have put you in the March brackets John, you would have won.

Tell me about it. There's no way I could defend my title against John. But I'd take his ladyfriends as a consolation prize. :hump: