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calphin
08-06-2005, 11:00 PM
Subject: Why?




Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they
know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks
when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine
it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you
first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we
say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't
we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table you always manage to knock
something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was
in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it
like your wife told you to do it?

And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take
up sky diving!

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think
of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
--

Clark Kent
08-06-2005, 11:41 PM
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak? Gotta make sure you wern't being a ***** when you pressed channel 4.


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they
know there is not enough? to put you in debt.


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? We can't touch stars and counting them is a pain in the ***. You always forget if you counted one or not.


Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? what kind of glue?


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection? Proper procedure. Don't wanna get sloppy.


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Some people don't grow facial hair. Some disorder or something.


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks
when you throw a revolver at him? Bullets are harder to avoid...


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? They're not condoms, if they live they're reusable.


Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If someone says lisp funny, they have one and we all know it.


If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Not all apes turned into people.


Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white? I never had a bubble bath that I can remember.


Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? I hope not. It's always nice to find a deal.


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Hope...


Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine
it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Hope...


Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you
first try?


How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures? From the wall?


When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we
say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't
we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" What if Grandma is a a 3rd degree black belt? Starting some **** could end in embarrasment.


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table you always manage to knock
something else over?Win some, lose some.


In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was
in summer when we complained about the heat? I don't know about you, but my house is like 70 in the winter, not 100.


How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? We fear them.


If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it
like your wife told you to do it?And take the fun out of it?


And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take
up sky diving! If you don't try, you'll never know.

And my FAVORITE......


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think
of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. It's me.

RWhitney014
08-07-2005, 12:09 AM
Why would you spend so much time to type this all out? :lol:

Actually, some of it is good stuff.

But you're talking to a person who overcame a lithp. It can be done. :D

soccerphinsfan7
08-07-2005, 12:52 AM
All that stuff is something to think aobut... after reading each one i thought about alot of it... haha