LeftCoastPhin
03-13-2003, 01:28 PM
From Canard, France's weekly anti-American newspaper: "France announced
today that it plans to ban fireworks at EuroDisney. The reason: last
night's display caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to
surrender."
******************
If you want to get France involved in a war with Iraq,
you must first convince them that Saddam is hiding fields of truffles.
-Comedian on the Tonight Show
*******************
Q: What do you call a group of 100,000 Frenchman with their hands in the
air?
A: "The French army, of course."
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows & no Frenchman has ever tried.
Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: By shooting the soldier pushing it.
Q: Why does the new French Navy have glass-bottom boats?
A: So they can see the old French Navy....
Q: How can you recognize a French veteran?
A: Sunburned armpits.
Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.
Q: Did you hear about the old French rifles for sale on Ebay?
A: Never been fired, dropped only once.
Q: The French have just ordered a new national flag.
A: It's a white cross on a white background
Q: Where do you find 60 million French jokes?
A: In France.
Q: How many gears in a French tank?
A: Six: five reverse and one forward, in case they are attacked from behind.
************
Jay Leno says it's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam
Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France,
either. Still, it's essential for them to join us in the war against
Iraq. They can teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
*************
Jay Leno, a few summers ago, said:
"France is now being hit by an extreme heat-wave, so the French government
is advising its citizens to "stay indoors and do nothing". "You know, like
they did in WWII...."
*********
On a serious note, back in 1966, upon being told that Charles DeGaulle
Had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated
Off of French soil, President Lyndon Johnson sent a brief message to the
Former Secretary of State, Dean Rusk: Ask DeGaulle about the cemeteries,
Dean! So at end of the meeting, Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to
remove
all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+ soldiers buried
in
France from fighting for France in World War I and World War II. DeGaulle
Never answered and never pursued the issue again.
******************
Something to ponder: You are the President of the United States.
Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the
earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at
approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough to completely wipe
France from the face of the earth forever. France and the United
Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and
aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could
be
Sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As
the President, you must decide: Do you stay up late on the night of the
Impact to watch the coverage live, or tape it and watch it in the morning?
*****************
A cute little quote: "Come on now. Give the French a
break. After all they did win the French Revolutionary War ...But
then, again, they were fighting the French!"
today that it plans to ban fireworks at EuroDisney. The reason: last
night's display caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to
surrender."
******************
If you want to get France involved in a war with Iraq,
you must first convince them that Saddam is hiding fields of truffles.
-Comedian on the Tonight Show
*******************
Q: What do you call a group of 100,000 Frenchman with their hands in the
air?
A: "The French army, of course."
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows & no Frenchman has ever tried.
Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: By shooting the soldier pushing it.
Q: Why does the new French Navy have glass-bottom boats?
A: So they can see the old French Navy....
Q: How can you recognize a French veteran?
A: Sunburned armpits.
Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.
Q: Did you hear about the old French rifles for sale on Ebay?
A: Never been fired, dropped only once.
Q: The French have just ordered a new national flag.
A: It's a white cross on a white background
Q: Where do you find 60 million French jokes?
A: In France.
Q: How many gears in a French tank?
A: Six: five reverse and one forward, in case they are attacked from behind.
************
Jay Leno says it's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam
Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France,
either. Still, it's essential for them to join us in the war against
Iraq. They can teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
*************
Jay Leno, a few summers ago, said:
"France is now being hit by an extreme heat-wave, so the French government
is advising its citizens to "stay indoors and do nothing". "You know, like
they did in WWII...."
*********
On a serious note, back in 1966, upon being told that Charles DeGaulle
Had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated
Off of French soil, President Lyndon Johnson sent a brief message to the
Former Secretary of State, Dean Rusk: Ask DeGaulle about the cemeteries,
Dean! So at end of the meeting, Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to
remove
all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+ soldiers buried
in
France from fighting for France in World War I and World War II. DeGaulle
Never answered and never pursued the issue again.
******************
Something to ponder: You are the President of the United States.
Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the
earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at
approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough to completely wipe
France from the face of the earth forever. France and the United
Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and
aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could
be
Sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As
the President, you must decide: Do you stay up late on the night of the
Impact to watch the coverage live, or tape it and watch it in the morning?
*****************
A cute little quote: "Come on now. Give the French a
break. After all they did win the French Revolutionary War ...But
then, again, they were fighting the French!"