DolfanTom
06-20-2007, 01:28 PM
Brady knocks up new receiver
By Jack Meof
Associated Press
BOSTON - Reports out of Boston this morning say New England Patriots star Quarterback Tom Brady has impregnated yet another human. After reportedly knocking up former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan, and current shoe-shopping mate Gisele Bundchen recently, it appears Brady has now spread the wealth to newly acquired wide receiver Randy Moss.
Doctor's at the MIT Medical Center were baffled as to how such a thing could happen, but upon medically examining Mr. Moss, they confirmed that the former Viking and Raider receiver was indeed with child. Rumors of Gay activity between Brady and wide "receivers" have been rampant for years, but until this morning's announcement, nobody had ever been knocked up.
Unfortunately for Patriots fans, it appears Mr. Moss will indeed miss the 2007 season now as he prepares for a February 2008 delivery date.
"I'm shocked I really am," Moss said, through his agent. "I mean, Tom is a potent guy, but I thought the two rubbers would stop anything from getting through. It could have happened during the oral I suppose. Oh well! I just hope I can get back my figure once this baby is born."
Upon hearing that his team will be without the services of Moss, after a much overblown draft-day trade this past April, New England coach Bill Belichick said his team will have to move on.
"Well, we did get Wes Welker too afterall," Mr. Belichick said. "But goddammit - that flaming Phag Brady. His Phag days finally caught up with him. And who's going to suffer?? The team, that's who!! Phuck!!!!"
Despite repeated attempts to reach Mr. Brady for comment, phone calls were not returned by press time. Apparently, Mr. Brady is in Asia on a romantic vacation with Mr. Welker. No word as to whether Mr. Welker is expecting soon.
By Jack Meof
Associated Press
BOSTON - Reports out of Boston this morning say New England Patriots star Quarterback Tom Brady has impregnated yet another human. After reportedly knocking up former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan, and current shoe-shopping mate Gisele Bundchen recently, it appears Brady has now spread the wealth to newly acquired wide receiver Randy Moss.
Doctor's at the MIT Medical Center were baffled as to how such a thing could happen, but upon medically examining Mr. Moss, they confirmed that the former Viking and Raider receiver was indeed with child. Rumors of Gay activity between Brady and wide "receivers" have been rampant for years, but until this morning's announcement, nobody had ever been knocked up.
Unfortunately for Patriots fans, it appears Mr. Moss will indeed miss the 2007 season now as he prepares for a February 2008 delivery date.
"I'm shocked I really am," Moss said, through his agent. "I mean, Tom is a potent guy, but I thought the two rubbers would stop anything from getting through. It could have happened during the oral I suppose. Oh well! I just hope I can get back my figure once this baby is born."
Upon hearing that his team will be without the services of Moss, after a much overblown draft-day trade this past April, New England coach Bill Belichick said his team will have to move on.
"Well, we did get Wes Welker too afterall," Mr. Belichick said. "But goddammit - that flaming Phag Brady. His Phag days finally caught up with him. And who's going to suffer?? The team, that's who!! Phuck!!!!"
Despite repeated attempts to reach Mr. Brady for comment, phone calls were not returned by press time. Apparently, Mr. Brady is in Asia on a romantic vacation with Mr. Welker. No word as to whether Mr. Welker is expecting soon.