WVDolphan
10-26-2010, 11:33 PM
Most of you know that Tony Sparano wears sunglasses on a regular basis. Most of you also know that he does this because of sensativity to light. Most of you also know that this is a result of a freak accident while working at a fast food restaurant as a young man, in which Tony got some hot grease in his eyes.
However, what most of you do not know, is the real story behind the incident. Fortunately, that is why I am here tonight. To share with you fellow phins fans..............the rest of the story!
While working at this fast food establishment, in order to attempt to get a higher number of orders filled correctly during peak times, the manager came up with a reward system that involved a game. Thats right....A GAME! And as most of you know, its all fun and games TILL SOMEONE GETS THEIR EYE PUT OUT!!!! :tongue:
And it was this incident that resulted in Tony Sparano actually coining that now popular phase btw. Thats right. Tony Sparano is the reason and the man behind this infamous wisdom. Bet you guys didnt know that **** did ya. :d-day:
I only know thanks to a source of mine. Actually, it was on Incarseratedbob's twitter, so you know that **** has to be true. :err:
Anyways, back to the story. So the game was this. Each shift, during lunch and dinner rushes respectively, if a crew filled between 80-100%(an incredible feat of course for a fast food joint) of the orders correctly, that team was awarded 6 points with the opportunity to gain an extra point if the stations were cleaned appropriately at the end of the shift when the manager came to inspect.
Also, if that shift manager(the assistant on duty) wanted the option to acquire a 2nd bonus point, they could declare that the bathrooms would also be cleaned appropriately. However, if they werent, then that shift would forfeit the other bonus point, and only be awarded the original 6 points. Most shift managers never tried for the 2 point bonus unless they had to have it for the win, as it was rarely successful. Face it, you guys have all seen fast food restaurant restrooms. :refuse:
If a crew were successful in filling between 60-80% of the orders during lunch or dinner rush, they were awarded 3 points, with no opportunity for a bonus.
At the end of the week, the scores were totalled. Whichever shift scored the most total points each week was awarded a free meal of $5 or less.
Going into the last day of the first week of the competition, Tony's crew trailed by 1 point. 4 of the previous 6 days, his team was able to fall in the 70% range and scored 3 points for a total of 12. They had outperformed the dinner shift all week long by a nice margin. And yet, they still trailed by 1 point going into the final day of competition.
In fact, dinner crew had 2 outstanding days, filling almost 90% of orders correctly during rush. This was a percentage the restaraunt had not seen in years. However, the other 4 days of the week, the crew was total ****. They slacked and barely got 40% of the orders correct. :oops:
Tony's team however had been fairly solid all week. The only two days they failed to get at least the 3 points, they were oh so close. Never did they perform as poorly as dinner crew did on the 4 days that team failed to score.
Tony knew what he had to do. He had his eye on the prize. He was HUNGRY. Hungry for a win. Hungry for the goodness of that double cheeseburger with fries. He gathered his crew just before the lunch rush began. He said words that were so insperational, he just knew he could get his team that 3 points they needed to capture the lead. And with the way dinner crew had performed all week, there was no way they were getting any points on a Saturday night in his mind.
As the shift neared its end, Tony's team had done it. They had filled a remarkable 77% of the orders correctly with just a minute left in the lunch rush. His shift manager urged the team to get the last couple of orders correct, knowing they could get the 6 points and really put the pressure on dinner crew. But, Tony was all too happy to have locked down the 3 points. He yelled "we got em now!" and convinced the shift manager that no more orders should be taken until the rush period ends. He told the man just let the customers wait a minute, so that we can lock down this 77% and not risk making it more difficult to secure the 3 points as opposed to attempting to break the 80% barrier by taking a few more orders.
When the lunch rush officially ended and Tony's crew had secured the 3 points and a 2 point lead in the overall score for the week going into dinner crew's last try at points, Tony was elated. :woot:He was so excited, he rared back and began taking a few thunderous, quick steps forward. His crewmates knew what was coming. Tony was notorious for his windmill fist pumps when the crew made small accomplishments. However, on this day, something unthinkable was about to happen.
It just so happened, that after the previous nights shift, dinner crew had failed to attain the extra point after a 6 point effort. Thats right. They were so excited to take a 1 point lead, that they failed to clean the area after their shift ended. They were so satisfied, they said **** it. They left **** everywhere. Dirty serving utensils, used condoms on the heating racks, library cards with white powder caked on the sides were found laying on the cutting boards, the restaurant was a disaster. But, despite all of that, they had a 13-12 lead going into the last day.
Wouldnt you know, that evening crew had failed to mop the floors. Just as Tony went to celebrate by performing his windmill fist pump, his left foot stepped right onto a grease spot with forward momentum. That was all it took for Tony to stumble. As his right arm came down, fist clinched tight, it smacked the handle to one of the fry baskets that was fully soaked in the deep fryer. The front end of the basket flipped out and turned over, right on top of Tony's face as he stumbled to his right. Tony was temporarially blinded. :(
Of course you have figured out by now, not only did Tony permanently damage his eyes, evening shift came through with a mere 61% success rate of filling orders correctly that evening, but it was still enough to earn 3 points, and hence capture a 16-15 victory over Tony's team.
However, the evening shift felt so badly after finding out it was their mess that caused Tony to slip during his windmill fist pump, they decided to give all of their awards to Tony. One of the girls from evening shift, brought Tony a cheeseburger and fries to him everyday while he was in the hospital and gave it to him. She would also later give him herpes, but thats another story.
And as it turned out, in future weeks, lunch shift began crushing evening shift in Tony's absence. They would often get the 6 points along with the extra point for their lunch rush performance. :err:
When he returned, lunch crew went back to settling for the 3 point efforts, but had much more consistancy. Funny thing is, while they were more consistant with their performance, they somehow would fall short in total points at weeks end. :ponder:
Its amazing how that works. You would think management would change the scoring to maximize performance, but they never did.
Evening crew continued on their ways of performing well a couple of times per week and not giving a **** the rest of the days, knowing that a couple solid efferts is all it took to outscore lunch crew so long as good ol' Tony was around. :up:
And NOW YOU KNOW, the rest of the story.
However, what most of you do not know, is the real story behind the incident. Fortunately, that is why I am here tonight. To share with you fellow phins fans..............the rest of the story!
While working at this fast food establishment, in order to attempt to get a higher number of orders filled correctly during peak times, the manager came up with a reward system that involved a game. Thats right....A GAME! And as most of you know, its all fun and games TILL SOMEONE GETS THEIR EYE PUT OUT!!!! :tongue:
And it was this incident that resulted in Tony Sparano actually coining that now popular phase btw. Thats right. Tony Sparano is the reason and the man behind this infamous wisdom. Bet you guys didnt know that **** did ya. :d-day:
I only know thanks to a source of mine. Actually, it was on Incarseratedbob's twitter, so you know that **** has to be true. :err:
Anyways, back to the story. So the game was this. Each shift, during lunch and dinner rushes respectively, if a crew filled between 80-100%(an incredible feat of course for a fast food joint) of the orders correctly, that team was awarded 6 points with the opportunity to gain an extra point if the stations were cleaned appropriately at the end of the shift when the manager came to inspect.
Also, if that shift manager(the assistant on duty) wanted the option to acquire a 2nd bonus point, they could declare that the bathrooms would also be cleaned appropriately. However, if they werent, then that shift would forfeit the other bonus point, and only be awarded the original 6 points. Most shift managers never tried for the 2 point bonus unless they had to have it for the win, as it was rarely successful. Face it, you guys have all seen fast food restaurant restrooms. :refuse:
If a crew were successful in filling between 60-80% of the orders during lunch or dinner rush, they were awarded 3 points, with no opportunity for a bonus.
At the end of the week, the scores were totalled. Whichever shift scored the most total points each week was awarded a free meal of $5 or less.
Going into the last day of the first week of the competition, Tony's crew trailed by 1 point. 4 of the previous 6 days, his team was able to fall in the 70% range and scored 3 points for a total of 12. They had outperformed the dinner shift all week long by a nice margin. And yet, they still trailed by 1 point going into the final day of competition.
In fact, dinner crew had 2 outstanding days, filling almost 90% of orders correctly during rush. This was a percentage the restaraunt had not seen in years. However, the other 4 days of the week, the crew was total ****. They slacked and barely got 40% of the orders correct. :oops:
Tony's team however had been fairly solid all week. The only two days they failed to get at least the 3 points, they were oh so close. Never did they perform as poorly as dinner crew did on the 4 days that team failed to score.
Tony knew what he had to do. He had his eye on the prize. He was HUNGRY. Hungry for a win. Hungry for the goodness of that double cheeseburger with fries. He gathered his crew just before the lunch rush began. He said words that were so insperational, he just knew he could get his team that 3 points they needed to capture the lead. And with the way dinner crew had performed all week, there was no way they were getting any points on a Saturday night in his mind.
As the shift neared its end, Tony's team had done it. They had filled a remarkable 77% of the orders correctly with just a minute left in the lunch rush. His shift manager urged the team to get the last couple of orders correct, knowing they could get the 6 points and really put the pressure on dinner crew. But, Tony was all too happy to have locked down the 3 points. He yelled "we got em now!" and convinced the shift manager that no more orders should be taken until the rush period ends. He told the man just let the customers wait a minute, so that we can lock down this 77% and not risk making it more difficult to secure the 3 points as opposed to attempting to break the 80% barrier by taking a few more orders.
When the lunch rush officially ended and Tony's crew had secured the 3 points and a 2 point lead in the overall score for the week going into dinner crew's last try at points, Tony was elated. :woot:He was so excited, he rared back and began taking a few thunderous, quick steps forward. His crewmates knew what was coming. Tony was notorious for his windmill fist pumps when the crew made small accomplishments. However, on this day, something unthinkable was about to happen.
It just so happened, that after the previous nights shift, dinner crew had failed to attain the extra point after a 6 point effort. Thats right. They were so excited to take a 1 point lead, that they failed to clean the area after their shift ended. They were so satisfied, they said **** it. They left **** everywhere. Dirty serving utensils, used condoms on the heating racks, library cards with white powder caked on the sides were found laying on the cutting boards, the restaurant was a disaster. But, despite all of that, they had a 13-12 lead going into the last day.
Wouldnt you know, that evening crew had failed to mop the floors. Just as Tony went to celebrate by performing his windmill fist pump, his left foot stepped right onto a grease spot with forward momentum. That was all it took for Tony to stumble. As his right arm came down, fist clinched tight, it smacked the handle to one of the fry baskets that was fully soaked in the deep fryer. The front end of the basket flipped out and turned over, right on top of Tony's face as he stumbled to his right. Tony was temporarially blinded. :(
Of course you have figured out by now, not only did Tony permanently damage his eyes, evening shift came through with a mere 61% success rate of filling orders correctly that evening, but it was still enough to earn 3 points, and hence capture a 16-15 victory over Tony's team.
However, the evening shift felt so badly after finding out it was their mess that caused Tony to slip during his windmill fist pump, they decided to give all of their awards to Tony. One of the girls from evening shift, brought Tony a cheeseburger and fries to him everyday while he was in the hospital and gave it to him. She would also later give him herpes, but thats another story.
And as it turned out, in future weeks, lunch shift began crushing evening shift in Tony's absence. They would often get the 6 points along with the extra point for their lunch rush performance. :err:
When he returned, lunch crew went back to settling for the 3 point efforts, but had much more consistancy. Funny thing is, while they were more consistant with their performance, they somehow would fall short in total points at weeks end. :ponder:
Its amazing how that works. You would think management would change the scoring to maximize performance, but they never did.
Evening crew continued on their ways of performing well a couple of times per week and not giving a **** the rest of the days, knowing that a couple solid efferts is all it took to outscore lunch crew so long as good ol' Tony was around. :up:
And NOW YOU KNOW, the rest of the story.