A Must Read for All You Men

njfinfan · 10-09-2005, 05:37 AM

FALL CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY October 15th

DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
--- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The
Floor ---Pictures and Explanatory Graphics
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes--- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Mondays at 8:00 PM, 4 weeks 2 hours

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live ---
Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors .

cnc66 · 10-09-2005, 05:39 AM

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
--- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

hahahahaha

Wildbill3 · 10-09-2005, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cnc66

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
--- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

hahahahaha

Shower fight!

cnc66 · 10-09-2005, 06:12 AM

the obvious question is : do the instructors use a hands on teaching technique during this group practice ?

Wildbill3 · 10-09-2005, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cnc66

the obvious question is : do the instructors use a hands on teaching technique during this group practice ?

What about a class that teaches Men how to leave the seat down and to NOT aim? I'd be perfect for that class.:rofl3:

cnc66 · 10-09-2005, 06:24 AM

I hated the "furry" seat cover thingies. The ones that would ACT like they were going to stay up only to slowly fall as you are pissin'. Face it, we are men, we have that gene that says if it falls we have to catch it, I spray the bathroom every time.

Wildbill3 · 10-09-2005, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cnc66

I hated the "furry" seat cover thingies. The ones that would ACT like they were going to stay up only to slowly fall as you are pissin'. Face it, we are men, we have that gene that says if it falls we have to catch it, I spray the bathroom every time.

You actually bother to catch it? I punish them for having those furry things.

Miamian · 10-09-2005, 06:46 AM

I say "let's claim equal time for women!"

1. How to make telephone converstations more concise
Role-playing

2. Your significant other's wallet is not as wide as the Grand Canyon
Real-life examples provided

Would anyone else like to add?

njfinfan · 10-09-2005, 07:12 AM

Very good and something my hubby is always complaining about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miamian

2. Your significant other's wallet is not as wide as the Grand Canyon
Real-life examples provided

Timmy54 · 10-09-2005, 08:46 AM

How about no man could graduate from that education there, or he would turn into a she. I wish women would just love us the way we are instead of trying to change us.

class #1: That is why we have automatic ice makers-invention is the product of necessity.

class #2: You use it more, change it yourself. It is not my fault you left only a few sheets for me to do my business and then decide your going to store the TP in another part of the house.

class #3: Is this really possible?? I mean you try peeing while drunk, barely able to stand up, and having to aim. It isnt easy!!

class #4: Hey, there are times it is clean enough to wear again!! I am trying to save you some laundry with some reuse in the home.

class #5: Oh dont give me the I cooked you clean routine, when i BBQ, you dont go out and clean my grill!!!

class #6: We would give up the remote more if you found better things to watch, like more sports. The Lifetime channel and oxygen should have a male block availible!!!

Class #7: Why in the world do you have to change where everything belongs every two weeks. just because are friends are comming over doesnt mean they need to see something changed in the house. Leave stuff where it started out to be and I wont have any trouble finding it.

Class #8: And when was the last time you brought me Beer?? whats fair is fair.

Class #9: Again, that is why we have gps systems, which you complain about me wanting to buy but then spend $100 on a shoe shopping spree!

Class #10: I am not letting you drive again, did you see the ding on the front quarter-panel!!!

Class #11: Speaking of mothers, could everytime we talk you not need to tell your mother and get her advise? Also, dont threaten do leave and go to your mothers, it really isnt a threat cause then i could have more poker nights!!

class #12: I can not stand shopping with you. The only reason i do go is to stop you from running up every card I own. Also, put the shoes down, after 10 pairs you have enough for every situation!

Class #13: What were you saying, can this wait till a commercial!

Class #14: This is a grill, dont even try using it cause it is like parking, I do it better. Also, that oven can be used instead of going out to dinner on Sat. night!

Ok, I know i threw myself under the bus but i had to take one for the male team!

cnc66 · 10-09-2005, 08:50 AM

Go Timmy !!

Muck · 10-09-2005, 10:10 AM

Dude, great thread!! :rofl:

TJamesW_phinfan · 10-09-2005, 10:47 AM

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
--- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

cnc66 · 10-09-2005, 10:53 AM

ohhhh TJ, that is too friggen funny, omg, best one of the day !!

FIN-IN-RI · 10-09-2005, 10:54 AM

its a beautiful thing..

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10-09-2005, 05:39 AM	#2
cnc66 wiley veteran bad spelur Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: indian river country Posts: 20,241 Thanks: 734 Thanked 730 Times in 366 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. hahahahaha

10-09-2005, 06:12 AM	#4
cnc66 wiley veteran bad spelur Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: indian river country Posts: 20,241 Thanks: 734 Thanked 730 Times in 366 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	the obvious question is : do the instructors use a hands on teaching technique during this group practice ?

10-09-2005, 06:24 AM	#6
cnc66 wiley veteran bad spelur Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: indian river country Posts: 20,241 Thanks: 734 Thanked 730 Times in 366 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	I hated the "furry" seat cover thingies. The ones that would ACT like they were going to stay up only to slowly fall as you are pissin'. Face it, we are men, we have that gene that says if it falls we have to catch it, I spray the bathroom every time.

10-09-2005, 06:46 AM	#8
Miamian Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Jerusalem Posts: 6,724 Thanks: 102 Thanked 69 Times in 53 Posts	I say "let's claim equal time for women!" 1. How to make telephone converstations more concise Role-playing 2. Your significant other's wallet is not as wide as the Grand Canyon Real-life examples provided Would anyone else like to add?

10-09-2005, 08:46 AM	#10
Timmy54 Not a 3am Member but still post whoring Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Gainesville Age: 33 Posts: 3,688 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	How about no man could graduate from that education there, or he would turn into a she. I wish women would just love us the way we are instead of trying to change us. class #1: That is why we have automatic ice makers-invention is the product of necessity. class #2: You use it more, change it yourself. It is not my fault you left only a few sheets for me to do my business and then decide your going to store the TP in another part of the house. class #3: Is this really possible?? I mean you try peeing while drunk, barely able to stand up, and having to aim. It isnt easy!! class #4: Hey, there are times it is clean enough to wear again!! I am trying to save you some laundry with some reuse in the home. class #5: Oh dont give me the I cooked you clean routine, when i BBQ, you dont go out and clean my grill!!! class #6: We would give up the remote more if you found better things to watch, like more sports. The Lifetime channel and oxygen should have a male block availible!!! Class #7: Why in the world do you have to change where everything belongs every two weeks. just because are friends are comming over doesnt mean they need to see something changed in the house. Leave stuff where it started out to be and I wont have any trouble finding it. Class #8: And when was the last time you brought me Beer?? whats fair is fair. Class #9: Again, that is why we have gps systems, which you complain about me wanting to buy but then spend $100 on a shoe shopping spree! Class #10: I am not letting you drive again, did you see the ding on the front quarter-panel!!! Class #11: Speaking of mothers, could everytime we talk you not need to tell your mother and get her advise? Also, dont threaten do leave and go to your mothers, it really isnt a threat cause then i could have more poker nights!! class #12: I can not stand shopping with you. The only reason i do go is to stop you from running up every card I own. Also, put the shoes down, after 10 pairs you have enough for every situation! Class #13: What were you saying, can this wait till a commercial! Class #14: This is a grill, dont even try using it cause it is like parking, I do it better. Also, that oven can be used instead of going out to dinner on Sat. night! Ok, I know i threw myself under the bus but i had to take one for the male team! __________________ D-Day's Favorite Non-3am poster!!! W.P.E-Worst Poster Ever

10-09-2005, 08:50 AM	#11
cnc66 wiley veteran bad spelur Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: indian river country Posts: 20,241 Thanks: 734 Thanked 730 Times in 366 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	Go Timmy !!

10-09-2005, 10:10 AM	#12
Muck Now completely imaginary Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Elsewhere Age: 29 Posts: 30,186 Thanks: 47 Thanked 486 Times in 158 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	Dude, great thread!! :rofl: __________________ Goodbye

10-09-2005, 10:47 AM	#13
TJamesW_phinfan Pro Bowler Join Date: Oct 2005 Age: 43 Posts: 1,258 Thanks: 11 Thanked 20 Times in 14 Posts	Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

10-09-2005, 10:53 AM	#14
cnc66 wiley veteran bad spelur Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: indian river country Posts: 20,241 Thanks: 734 Thanked 730 Times in 366 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	ohhhh TJ, that is too friggen funny, omg, best one of the day !!

10-09-2005, 10:54 AM	#15
FIN-IN-RI hey now Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: 192.168.1.3/255.255.255.0 Age: 27 Posts: 12,927 Thanks: 74 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts	its a beautiful thing..

A Must Read for All You Men

Ha ha