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Old 05-08-2004, 10:40 PM   #1
juniorseau55
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Many forum personalities that we find everyday within this forum or another forums...


Feel free to come forward and admit your guilt. This is Dolphins Related because these types personalities also talk about the dolphins.


Internet Tough Guy

Proof that the obvious may not be obvious to all, the Internet tough guy forgets the mode of communication that he's using. Constantly threatening people with physical harm and the dreaded ambiguous "consequences," the ITG tries to send the message that he is not someone to mess with.

Modsterbator

Proof that power not only corrupts, but also makes you petty, the modsterbator uses his moderator position for self-gratification. Whether it's trying to push others, agendas or pathetic need to lord over others, this crank-yanker uses his position for personal gain first and helping people last.

The Big Bumper

Having no useful knowledge or opinions to contribute, the bumper spends all his time bumping what others have shared. Now everyone does this from time to time, but if you type that 5-letter word more than 2x/day I'm looking at you


Mr. Magoo

Magoo likes to ask questions, but somehow misses the fact that a topic has been discussed before. He also misses the three other threads addressing it on the front page. When directed to the other threads, Magoo helpfully ignores them and says his question is different. After all, his question was about using creatine and glutamine TOGETHER.

The Contenda

As in, coulda been one. The Contenda is always commenting on the accomplishments of others and comparing them to his own. Whether it's comparing their physique, poundages or professional achievements, the Contenda wants you to know that he could meet or beat you if he really wanted to.

Unfortunately, the Contenda misses one key aspect of his little struggle with the rest of the world: no one gives a ****.

The Parasite

The parasite is self-explanatory; he exists for the sole reason of feeding off whatever board he's participating on. Contributing little to nothing, the parasite draws attention just to feed off the posters.

The Quotemaster General

I'm a firm believer in personal expression, so sig lines seem like a good idea to me. Unfortunately some people take it to great extremes, where their sig lines take up a ¼ page and need to be scrolled through.

This is particularly frustrating when the person has multiple replies in the same thread. You want to share stats? Fine. You want to show us how funny and/or deep you are? Cool. You want to pimp your website. No problem. Just know when to stop. If I wanted a long list of random quotes, I'd buy a copy of Bartlet's.

Post Whore

Many bumpers evolve into the much dreaded post whore, whose only purpose it seems is to accumulate posts. With such gems of wisdom as "I agree," "me too" and "I heard that somewhere," the post whore manages to accumulate 1000s of posts without ever really saying anything.


Secret Squirrel

Somewhat related to the mole, is Secret Squirrel. Squirrel is a regular poster who takes on a new name to avoid having his comments attributed to him. Usually this is done to attack a friend or prominent board member without repercussion.

This is cowardly, even for the Internet where most posters are anonymous to begin with. If you don't have the balls to be accountable for it, then don't say it.


Faux Guru

Under the impression that having people following his advice grants him some sort of god-like omniscience, the Faux Guru distributes (questionable) information at will. Having mastered the basics and knowing just enough more to be dangerous, the FG espouses wild theories and advice on training, nutrition and supplementation.


The Stunted Troll

Every board has trolls, even moderated ones. Unlike most people, I like having a few around for entertainment purposes. The only time I get upset is when they fail to provide any comic relief. Trolls should be funny; otherwise you really are just wasting everyone's time.

Witch Hunter

The witch hunter is always out to make someone the bad guy. Whether it's someone's business practices, the advice they give or some imagined slight, the hunter is prepared to rally the troops and cry foul at a moment’s notice. It doesn't matter if the allegations are true, it's just really important that the accused pay for the horrible crimes they've committed. Whatever the hell they are.

Lemmings

Unfortunately, this is a rather large group of people that proves that the online communities mirror the rest of the world. Lemmings typically find someone to follow based on some perceived attributes.

Rather than learning to think for themselves, they never question and blindly regurgitate everything their master says. There's nothing wrong with following the advice of those you believe in, but if most of your reasons for doing something start with " [insert guru name here] said..." then you may want to keep an eye on that cliff you're heading for.

The Pied Piper

Closely related to the messiah, the Piper is someone who shows up to lead the lemmings around for a short period of time. Unlike the faux guru, the Piper lacks any real knowledge and gains followers by insulting and trying to discredit others. Sooner or later the piper believes his own hype and attempts to become a Faux Guru. The result: have you heard of Icarus?



This information is usually based on one-sided research where any information that contradicts these theories is helpfully ignored. When definitively proven wrong, the FG usually avoids the question, tries to discredit the references used or attacks whoever dares to contradict him. After all, his guru status is much more important than the truth.
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Old 05-09-2004, 12:22 AM   #2
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I missed the part about the Dolphins.
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Old 05-09-2004, 12:26 AM   #3
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i'm none of those
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Old 05-09-2004, 01:46 AM   #4
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Sh*t Clump!

There is so many.....You've got to be one.

I'm just wondering where I fit in. :huh:
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Old 05-09-2004, 03:54 AM   #5
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Where is the eternally pessimistic, "the sky is falling", I hate everything category......?
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Old 05-09-2004, 12:00 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bazinet37
Where is the eternally pessimistic, "the sky is falling", I hate everything category......?


Very good question Baz !!!!



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Old 05-09-2004, 03:50 PM   #7
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I'm looking for the Dynamic Dumb Sheet Duck poster to put my name next to.
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Old 05-09-2004, 10:36 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bazinet37
Where is the eternally pessimistic, "the sky is falling", I hate everything category......?
Well Baz generally people that create or cut and paste these kind of lists very conveniently leave out the catagory that they themselves fit into.
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Old 05-10-2004, 12:40 AM   #9
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BTW, in case anyone is wondering, js55 didn't write this himself (big surprise ). He got it off another message board.
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Old 05-10-2004, 02:29 AM   #10
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Witch category does posting obvious, plagerized, Froidiant, and annoying threads fall in to?
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Old 05-10-2004, 02:55 AM   #11
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My guess is this one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by juniorseau55

Lemmings

Unfortunately, this is a rather large group of people that proves that the online communities mirror the rest of the world. Lemmings typically find someone to follow based on some perceived attributes.

Rather than learning to think for themselves, they never question and blindly regurgitate everything their master says. There's nothing wrong with following the advice of those you believe in, but if most of your reasons for doing something start with " [insert guru name here] said..." then you may want to keep an eye on that cliff you're heading for.
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Old 05-11-2004, 03:54 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellion
Well Baz generally people that create or cut and paste these kind of lists very conveniently leave out the catagory that they themselves fit into.


I'm glad atleast one person got what I was hinting at......
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Old 05-11-2004, 10:33 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LIQUID24
BTW, in case anyone is wondering, js55 didn't write this himself (big surprise ). He got it off another message board.
:roflmao: JS55 has just been PWNED!!!
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