Relationship ? for the experienced (and married)

spydertl79 · 01-09-2007, 09:37 PM

I've been seeing my girlfriend for a little over 16 months now and we have a lot in common and love each other a lot. However, recently we've both noticed that it doesn't feel quite the same to be around each other. Not necessarily worse, just different. While we're definitely more comfortable with each other now, the whole "butterflies" feeling doesn't come about as frequently or as strong. I was just wondering if this is a normal occurance as a relationship progresses past the initial stages or if this is a bad sign. I can't see myself ever being with anyone else but at the same time I'm scared that the feelings may eventually go away. I know there are a bunch of older people on here who have been through this and I would love some advice because I am confused.

Slappy8800 · 01-09-2007, 09:45 PM

ive been with my GF for 6 years now...yes its normal for that "new" feeling to wear off...just gotta find ways to make it exciting....and dont forget to do thing w/o the other so you get that sense of "i miss you"....im sure others can help ya alot more

spydertl79 · 01-09-2007, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slappy8800

ive been with my GF for 6 years now...yes its normal for that "new" feeling to wear off...just gotta find ways to make it exciting....and dont forget to do thing w/o the other so you get that sense of "i miss you"....im sure others can help ya alot more

Thanks Slap, that makes me feel a lot better.

FinsNCanes · 01-09-2007, 10:16 PM

Yep, normal. My butterflies go away after 6 months and by that time anyway it's over

Oh, PIITB.

FinsNCanes · 01-09-2007, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slappy8800

ive been with my GF for 6 years now...yes its normal for that "new" feeling to wear off...just gotta find ways to make it exciting....and dont forget to do thing w/o the other so you get that sense of "i miss you"....im sure others can help ya alot more

Since 16? Damn..

I dated a girl for 3 years throughout highschool and feel like I missed out on alot. I regret it actually..

PrepDogg · 01-09-2007, 10:26 PM

My relationships tend to end after that "new" feeling wears off

so I probably aint the best guy to give advice. But good luck anyway, spydertl. :cooldude:

Slappy8800 · 01-09-2007, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinsNCanes

Since 16? Damn..

I dated a girl for 3 years throughout highschool and feel like I missed out on alot. I regret it actually..

yea and shes 3 years older than me..i dont think i missed anything i mean..alot has happened since then in our lives

Amars · 01-09-2007, 10:41 PM

butterfly go away the first year. Its normal. As long as she is a person you can trust and enjoy to be around you guys will be good.

d-day · 01-09-2007, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spydertl79

I've been seeing my girlfriend for a little over 16 months now and we have a lot in common and love each other a lot. However, recently we've both noticed that it doesn't feel quite the same to be around each other. Not necessarily worse, just different. While we're definitely more comfortable with each other now, the whole "butterflies" feeling doesn't come about as frequently or as strong. I was just wondering if this is a normal occurance as a relationship progresses past the initial stages or if this is a bad sign. I can't see myself ever being with anyone else but at the same time I'm scared that the feelings may eventually go away. I know there are a bunch of older people on here who have been through this and I would love some advice because I am confused.

you just went through the novelty stage - now comes the most important of a relationship - after the butterflies and fire rockets, what do you guys have left? if you're looking around scratching your head and then there's nothing - it's over - but if you find all the butterflies have turned into something else: trust, comfort, caring, love... then you found the right one

Slappy8800 · 01-09-2007, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d-day

you just went through the novelty stage - now comes the most important of a relationship - after the butterflies and fire rockets, what do you guys have left? if you're looking around scratching your head, and then there's nothing - it's over - but if you find all the butterflies have turned into something else: trust, comfort, caring, love... then you found the right one

:re-reads post:

damn i thought i missed the punchline but there isnt one!!

d-day · 01-09-2007, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slappy8800

:re-reads post:

damn i thought i missed the punchline but there isnt one!!

...he wanted to trip a bird!

Ray Finkle · 01-09-2007, 10:58 PM

Absolutely normal man. My advice is take a little break.... like maybe go a few days without seeing her or talking to her as much. Then plan something really cool, something you guys have never done before, like a weekend trip, something like that. Go to different places you've never been... just stuff that will keep her on her toes so it's exciting and isn't the same boring thing. Trust me it works.

spydertl79 · 01-10-2007, 12:14 AM

I get the feeling that she thinks this is a sign of the end though. I just got off the phone with her and I don't know if she wants to keep it going, she says she does but I just threw up because I saw she sent one of her crazy friends a message saying that they need to start hanging out again... I don't know what I'll do if that happens.

PrepDogg · 01-10-2007, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spydertl79

I get the feeling that she thinks this is a sign of the end though. I just got off the phone with her and I don't know if she wants to keep it going, she says she does but I just threw up because I saw she sent one of her crazy friends a message saying that they need to start hanging out again... I don't know what I'll do if that happens.

Whoa, dude that's a pretty bad sign. If it happens just stay strong and rely on your buddies to help you out, bro. That's what I do.

spydertl79 · 01-10-2007, 01:24 AM

I guess Friday is our make or break, if she can't get over this feeling she has then I'm going to have to move on.

01-09-2007, 09:45 PM	#2
Slappy8800 Breathing is the hardest thing to do. Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Bloomfield NJ Age: 25 Posts: 9,273 Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts	ive been with my GF for 6 years now...yes its normal for that "new" feeling to wear off...just gotta find ways to make it exciting....and dont forget to do thing w/o the other so you get that sense of "i miss you"....im sure others can help ya alot more __________________ "Hockey is like heroin. Only drug addicts do heroin. It's not like a recreational drug. Hockey is kind of the same way. Only hockey fans watch hockey."

01-09-2007, 10:41 PM	#8
Amars Stay off Somalia - ARGGH Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: los angeles Age: 30 Posts: 8,962 Thanks: 200 Thanked 71 Times in 53 Posts	butterfly go away the first year. Its normal. As long as she is a person you can trust and enjoy to be around you guys will be good. __________________

01-10-2007, 12:14 AM	#13
spydertl79 Unconquered: In the bar, In the bedroom Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tallahassee Posts: 7,337 Thanks: 12 Thanked 29 Times in 25 Posts	I get the feeling that she thinks this is a sign of the end though. I just got off the phone with her and I don't know if she wants to keep it going, she says she does but I just threw up because I saw she sent one of her crazy friends a message saying that they need to start hanging out again... I don't know what I'll do if that happens. __________________ I never boinked a ten, my whole life I never banged a ten. But one night... I boinked five two's! -The Immortal George Carlin, RIP

01-10-2007, 01:24 AM	#15
spydertl79 Unconquered: In the bar, In the bedroom Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tallahassee Posts: 7,337 Thanks: 12 Thanked 29 Times in 25 Posts	I guess Friday is our make or break, if she can't get over this feeling she has then I'm going to have to move on. __________________ I never boinked a ten, my whole life I never banged a ten. But one night... I boinked five two's! -The Immortal George Carlin, RIP

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01-09-2007, 10:16 PM	#4
FinsNCanes I &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;l t;3 you. Yeah..you. Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Fort Myers, FL Age: 26 Posts: 4,597 Thanks: 0 Thanked 24 Times in 16 Posts	Yep, normal. My butterflies go away after 6 months and by that time anyway it's over Oh, PIITB.

01-09-2007, 10:26 PM	#6
PrepDogg I like whiskey Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The 415 Age: 28 Posts: 8,182 Thanks: 50 Thanked 135 Times in 111 Posts	My relationships tend to end after that "new" feeling wears off so I probably aint the best guy to give advice. But good luck anyway, spydertl. :cooldude:

01-09-2007, 10:58 PM	#12
Ray Finkle Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 5,279 Thanks: 6 Thanked 36 Times in 26 Posts	Absolutely normal man. My advice is take a little break.... like maybe go a few days without seeing her or talking to her as much. Then plan something really cool, something you guys have never done before, like a weekend trip, something like that. Go to different places you've never been... just stuff that will keep her on her toes so it's exciting and isn't the same boring thing. Trust me it works.