Dallas Cowboy Jokes

miadphan13 · 12-06-2001, 06:27 PM

I found these Dallas jokes on a Raider board at the beginning of this season.

A lady in Dallas calls 911. Hysterically, she says,
"Someone's just broken into my house, and I think he's
going to rape me!" The police officer says, "I'm
sorry, we're really busy at the moment. Just get the
guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."
__________________________________________

Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV
watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Dallas Cowboys
__________________________________________

Q: What's Jerry Jones' biggest concern?
A. Does Bail Money count against the Salary Cap?
__________________________________________

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle
__________________________________________

Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police
__________________________________________

Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the
field anymore?
A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with
known felons.
__________________________________________

Doctors say because of Michael Irvin's broken
clavicle, it will be 6-8 weeks before he can videotape
a teammate having sex.
__________________________________________

I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin.
They got rid of the refrigerator, so now they want a
coke machine.
__________________________________________

The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas
Stadium is going to take out artificial turf because
the Cowboys play better on "grass."
__________________________________________

The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System".....
'Yes, your Honor; No, your Honor.'
__________________________________________

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season last year..... 12
arrests, 5 convictions.
__________________________________________

The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their
defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator:...
Johnny Cochran.
__________________________________________

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at
spring training?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights.

Flyin11 · 12-06-2001, 06:30 PM

Dolfan984 · 12-06-2001, 07:39 PM

This Texan went to died and went to hell, well Satan wanted to make his second life as bad as possable.
The Texan comes in and goes "Wow, this place has really nice weather, just like Texas Ye haw!"
Satan, obviously mad as hell(bad joke) made the temperature burning hot.
When he found the Texan he was not wearing a shirt then said to Satan, "Whewee! It's like Texan Summer here, it's sure is hot, the hotter the better!"
Satan was furious so turned all of Hell frozen, he went to the Texan and found him dancing, Satan asked, "Why are you so happy now?"
The Texan was all "Look at this weather! The Cowboys must have just won the Superbowl!"

Raidaz Freak · 12-15-2001, 01:10 AM

Dallas jokes are the best cause they suck every year. :evil: I know they won't make the playoffs AGAIN

Dolfan984 · 12-15-2001, 01:29 AM

The Cowboys suck the big one

miadphan13 · 12-15-2001, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raidaz Freak
I know they won't make the playoffs AGAIN

Don't laugh to hard because your team may be sitting at home watching the playoffs on TV because your defense SUCKS!! BTW, I have a lovely Raider joke for you.......take a gander!

Raidaz Freak · 12-15-2001, 02:21 AM

Yeeeahhhhh.....That's why come tomorrow we're gonna be AFC West Champs AGAIN. First time since 82-83 we got it twice in a row. If your boy Fiedler can keep throwing the ball straight until the playoffs, we will see each other again. Who knows, maybe in person at a playoff game!

miadphan13 · 12-15-2001, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raidaz Freak
Who knows, maybe in person at a playoff game!

I know that you shouldn't hope for that one too hard!

dolfan06 · 12-15-2001, 04:18 AM

you know the whole bay area is a training ground for centers. YEP! if you'll bend over there, you'll bend over anywhere!

iceblizzard69 · 12-15-2001, 10:19 AM

Any team that is owned by MICHAEL JACKSON has to suck!

dolfan06 · 12-15-2001, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Any team that is owned by MICHAEL JACKSON has to suck!

i won't even comment on that one! :eek:

Jaydog57 · 12-15-2001, 11:30 PM

(For best results, read aloud in your best Beavis/Butthead voice)

huh-huh-huh....you said suck....huh-huh:goof:

12-06-2001, 07:39 PM	#3
Dolfan984 Chad Pennington fan Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Bay Area, California Age: 24 Posts: 9,619 Credits: 6,886 Thanks: 1 Thanked 52 Times in 23 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	Here's one This Texan went to died and went to hell, well Satan wanted to make his second life as bad as possable. The Texan comes in and goes "Wow, this place has really nice weather, just like Texas Ye haw!" Satan, obviously mad as hell(bad joke) made the temperature burning hot. When he found the Texan he was not wearing a shirt then said to Satan, "Whewee! It's like Texan Summer here, it's sure is hot, the hotter the better!" Satan was furious so turned all of Hell frozen, he went to the Texan and found him dancing, Satan asked, "Why are you so happy now?" The Texan was all "Look at this weather! The Cowboys must have just won the Superbowl!" __________________ Zach Thomas, Jason Taylor, Sam Madison, Patrick Surtain, Brock Marion, Tim Bowens, Larry Chester, Chris Chambers, Orande Gadsden, Randy McMichael, Jay Fielder for life

12-15-2001, 01:10 AM	#4
Raidaz Freak Sonny Crockett Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Miami Age: 42 Posts: 33 Credits: 1,055 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	HA HA HA Dallas jokes are the best cause they suck every year. :evil: I know they won't make the playoffs AGAIN __________________ "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. " - Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

12-15-2001, 01:29 AM	#5
Dolfan984 Chad Pennington fan Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Bay Area, California Age: 24 Posts: 9,619 Credits: 6,886 Thanks: 1 Thanked 52 Times in 23 Posts FH Badges Total Awards: 1	Agreed The Cowboys suck the big one __________________ Zach Thomas, Jason Taylor, Sam Madison, Patrick Surtain, Brock Marion, Tim Bowens, Larry Chester, Chris Chambers, Orande Gadsden, Randy McMichael, Jay Fielder for life

12-15-2001, 02:21 AM	#7
Raidaz Freak Sonny Crockett Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Miami Age: 42 Posts: 33 Credits: 1,055 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Yeeeahhhhh.....That's why come tomorrow we're gonna be AFC West Champs AGAIN. First time since 82-83 we got it twice in a row. If your boy Fiedler can keep throwing the ball straight until the playoffs, we will see each other again. Who knows, maybe in person at a playoff game! __________________ "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. " - Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

12-15-2001, 04:18 AM	#9
dolfan06 FinHeaven Elite Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: arkansas Age: 62 Posts: 20,975 Credits: 5,673 Thanks: 44 Thanked 48 Times in 32 Posts	Miadphan13 you know the whole bay area is a training ground for centers. YEP! if you'll bend over there, you'll bend over anywhere! __________________

12-06-2001, 06:30 PM	#2
Flyin11 Mark Clayton Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: VA Age: 33 Posts: 777 Credits: 2,225 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	__________________

12-15-2001, 10:19 AM	#10
iceblizzard69 FinHeaven Elite Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On an island Age: 21 Posts: 13,387 Credits: 1,000 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Any team that is owned by MICHAEL JACKSON has to suck!

12-15-2001, 11:30 PM	#12
Jaydog57 Crank Yanker Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Inside your head Age: 36 Posts: 2,269 Credits: 2,570 Thanks: 13 Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts	(For best results, read aloud in your best Beavis/Butthead voice) huh-huh-huh....you said suck....huh-huh:goof: __________________

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Dallas Cowboy Jokes

Here's one

HA HA HA

Agreed

Re: HA HA HA

Miadphan13