Political Joke Thread

[finataxia24]

[Den54]

I just got my new Lexus RX400h, and returned to the dealer the next day, complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Watch this! He said ..." Nelson!" The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie!" He continued....and " On The Road Again " came from the speakers.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven!" I'd get beautiful classical music,
and if I said, "Beatles!" I'd get one of their awesome songs.

One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them.
"A##HOLES!" I yelled..... The French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Michael Moore,
backed up by John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums and Bill Clinton on sax.... I LOVE this car!!!!!!!!!

[finataxia24]

George in Purgatory

I have a persistent vision of George Bush entering Purgatory (which I imagine as a scene out of Dante) and being confronted by the bloodied souls of the women and children he killed in Iraq.

“Remember us!” they cry.

“I have to get on with my death,” he says.

No guide comes to accompany him.


Not Virgil, who guided Dante, nor any of the presidents who preceded him. The founding fathers may not be in heaven, but they have no use for him. Nor does FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, nor Woodrow Wilson. Not even fuzzyheaded Ronald Reagan wants to guide him. Everyone seems to know he’s anathema.



Finally Jesus, who can forgive anyone, comes to greet him.

“All you have to do is acknowledge your mistakes,” Jesus says. “And I will receive you into the flocks of the forgiven.”

“Remember us!” the dead children cry.

“Shah,” says Jesus, “everyone deserves as chance to repent.”

“I have to ask Turdblossom,” says George.

“No counselors allowed,” Jesus says. “Look into your heart.”

“I have to ask Laura,” George says.

“She’s still on earth,” says Jesus. “She can’t help you now.”

“What did my father do? George asks.

“He repented of his lies, his dirty business deals, his adulteries. . .”

“Then God Damn it! I’m not gonna!” George screams.

And with that, he is flung into the icy circle of the traitors with Judas, Brutus and the others and frozen forever.

“It’s not so bad,” Judas says. “With global warming, we’ll get defrosted someday. And we’ll still look good.”

George is perplexed. “Isn’t that just a left-wing theory?” he asks, “like evolution?”

[finataxia24]

[Section126]

Originally Posted by finataxia24

George in Purgatory

I have a persistent vision of George Bush entering Purgatory (which I imagine as a scene out of Dante) and being confronted by the bloodied souls of the women and children he killed in Iraq.

“Remember us!” they cry.

“I have to get on with my death,” he says.

No guide comes to accompany him.


Not Virgil, who guided Dante, nor any of the presidents who preceded him. The founding fathers may not be in heaven, but they have no use for him. Nor does FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, nor Woodrow Wilson. Not even fuzzyheaded Ronald Reagan wants to guide him. Everyone seems to know he’s anathema.



Finally Jesus, who can forgive anyone, comes to greet him.

“All you have to do is acknowledge your mistakes,” Jesus says. “And I will receive you into the flocks of the forgiven.”

“Remember us!” the dead children cry.

“Shah,” says Jesus, “everyone deserves as chance to repent.”

“I have to ask Turdblossom,” says George.

“No counselors allowed,” Jesus says. “Look into your heart.”

“I have to ask Laura,” George says.

“She’s still on earth,” says Jesus. “She can’t help you now.”

“What did my father do? George asks.

“He repented of his lies, his dirty business deals, his adulteries. . .”

“Then God Damn it! I’m not gonna!” George screams.

And with that, he is flung into the icy circle of the traitors with Judas, Brutus and the others and frozen forever.

“It’s not so bad,” Judas says. “With global warming, we’ll get defrosted someday. And we’ll still look good.”

George is perplexed. “Isn’t that just a left-wing theory?” he asks, “like evolution?”

Wow....this is just plain UNFUNNY...

[DolphinDevil28]

Bill Clinton was jogging around the Mall in D.C. one day when he came upon a 10 year old boy with a box full of 3 week old puppies.

"Democratic Puppies! Democratic Puppies for sale!" The boy yelled at the top of lungs.

Clinton stopped his entourage and kneeled down in front of the boy.
"How cute little boy. Those democratic puppies are adorable. You keep up the good work."


...4 weeks and 8 Monica blow jobs later, Clinton is running the same path. He sees the same boy with the same puppies, now older, in the same spot as 4 weeks ago.

"Republican puppies!! Republican puppies for sale!" The boy yelled.

Confused, Clinton stopped again in front of the boy. Instead of kneeling down, he stood there with his hands on his hips and a dissapointed look across his face.

"Wait a minute little boy, I thought these were Democratic puppies. Why are they Republican now?"

..."Well, Mr. President, because now their eyes are open."

[DolphinDevil28]

What do you call a liberal with two brain cells?










Pregnant.

[DolphinDevil28]

A man bellies up to a bar muttering,"@sshole democrats".
A guy next to him says, "Hey I take offense to that".
The man says, "Why, are you a democrat".
No the guy says "I'm an @sshole".





Q: Why do the Kennedy's cry during sex?
A: Mace





Vote Democrat... It's easier than getting a job.

[finataxia24]

who said their should be limits to freedom ????


anyone know ??




well if u said Bush u are right.

[PHINATIC13]

It's more of a visual

[cnc66]

Originally Posted by PHINATIC13

It's more of a visual

OMG thats evil...and so funny ! :rofl3:

[finataxia24]

[finataxia24]

Originally Posted by Wakey

Bingo..

[guydolfan]

do you know what Bill Clinton did when an abortion bill came across his desk? He paid it!

[Blitz]

Honestly...Perhaps he should simply "pull a Nixon" and resign?