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Thread: White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars

  1. -1
    rob19's Avatar
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    White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars

    Forget Kenya. Never mind the secret madrassas. The sinister, shocking truth about Barack Obama’s past lies not in east Africa, but in outer space. As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of Darpa.

    That’s the assertion, at least, of a pair of self-proclaimed time-traveling, universe-exploring government agents. Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings insist that they once served as “chrononauts” at Darpa’s behest, traversing the boundaries of time and space. They swear: A youthful Barack Obama was one of them. ---

    Obama wasn’t the only one making the otherworldly voyage. As “Barry Soetero,” the 19-year-old Obama was one of 10 youths selected to secretly teleport to and from Mars, forming a band of interplanetary Teen Titans. Regina Dugan, the director of Darpa, was another member.

    Between 1981 and 1983, Obama is supposed to have visited Mars twice, by way of a teleportation chamber called a “jump room.” Basiago, a fellow chrononaut, told the website Exopolitics that he saw Obama “walk back to the jump room from across the Martian terrain.”

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  2. -2
    Phinatic8u's Avatar
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    Dafuq did I just read.

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    SAMMY WATKINS IS THE BEST WR IN THE COUNTRY & FUTURE MIAMI DOLPHIN!

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    Spesh's Avatar
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    I believe it, there are videos of it happening:


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    Chilling revelation.

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    Originally Posted by RT2DT4TD
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    I will remember you TeddSlimmJr and Spesh, after we win it all, I'll just sit back and laugh with fond memories of my superior football IQ.

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  4. -4
    TheWalrus's Avatar
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    packfin's Avatar
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    Maybe he should have stayed there and destroyed the Martian economy.

  6. -6
    tylerdolphin's Avatar
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    Uh huh. And they probably want us to believe 9/11 wasnt an inside job too.

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    TheWalrus's Avatar
    L'armée des ombres

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    Originally Posted by tylerdolphin
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    Uh huh. And they probably want us to believe 9/11 wasnt an inside job too.
    If the Martians did it, does that count as an inside job now?

  8. -8
    Dolphins9954's Avatar
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    "Politics is the Art of Looking for Trouble, Finding it Everywhere, Diagnosing it Incorrectly, and Applying the Wrong Remedies"

  9. -9
    MoFinz's Avatar
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    Because our mealy planet was not enought to contain his awesomeness!

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    Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life

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    2013 Goals:
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    1) Win the next game.
    2) See goal #1



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    "The problem with internet quotes is verifying their authenticity."
    -Abraham Lincoln

    The DRIVE FOR FIVE continues!


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