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Thread: Hell Explained By Chemistry Student

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    Celtkin's Avatar
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    Hell Explained By Chemistry Student

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
    (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
    variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

    So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
    rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
    once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
    Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
    today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
    religion, you will go to Hell.

    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
    belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
    Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
    souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
    Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
    stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
    are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
    until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
    over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
    that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
    into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
    must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
    frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
    follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
    extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
    divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting,

    "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
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    COMEBACKRICKY's Avatar
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    LOL nice post!

    I especially love the last part
    God Bless Palestine
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    finswin56's Avatar
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    Hilarious!

    Heritage of a Linebacker by like2god. Simply phenomenal.


    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
    -Unknown
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    Stitches's Avatar
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    Fake!



    Sorry, don't mean to burst anyone's bubble. It is funny, but it isn't an actual answer from an exam.
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    Celtkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stitches View Post
    Fake!



    Sorry, don't mean to burst anyone's bubble. It is funny, but it isn't an actual answer from an exam.
    No kidding.
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    bkbuffet's Avatar
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    Very entertaining!
    -BK

    It's Tuna time in Miami!
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    spydertl79's Avatar
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    Thats something I would write on an exam.
    "As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."
    Henry Wheeler Shaw
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    unluckyluciano's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stitches View Post
    Fake!



    Sorry, don't mean to burst anyone's bubble. It is funny, but it isn't an actual answer from an exam.
    Well I do believe the described boyle's law is not boyle's law but the complete relation of volume to temperature...........

    P1V1T2 = P2V2T1 ........... I think not too sure.....
    This photo is of a young puppy that was photographed by a puppy pornographer. A Vote For UnluckyLuciano Is A Vote Against Puppy Porno.

    Remember MAJPAIN Supports Puppy Pornographers. Should you?
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    Celtkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by unluckyluciano View Post
    Well I do believe the described boyle's law is not boyle's law but the complete relation of volume to temperature...........

    P1V1T2 = P2V2T1 ........... I think not too sure.....
    That is what is know as the General Gas law and takes into account Boyle's law and Charles' law.

    Boyle's law states that:

    p1V1=p2V2 and is derived from the Ideal Gas law
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    FINintheMOON's Avatar
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    Shouldn't this be a "LOUNGE" thread?

    Props to In Flames for the SICK SIG!
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