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Thread: It's Raining Feces Everywhere

  1. -1
    ckparrothead's Avatar
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    It's Raining Feces Everywhere

    I don't know if it's being appreciated enough right now that the entire AFC East is full of fans that, as a result of this preseason and training camp, are about to take a shotgun to the woodshed and off themselves without even leaving a note.

    But, in all fairness, that's actually an improvement in Bills fans' general outlook and attitude.

    Every single team in the AFC East has been presented with major challenges this training camp and preseason.


    The Jets

    Has anyone been watching Hard Knocks? Has anyone been watching the Jets during preseason? They're missing Darrelle Revis and what looked like it COULD have been a television stunt initially, has turned out to be a helluva lot more. You see, Revis' uncle is Sean Gilbert, the man who once did hold out an entire year for a new contract. And the kicker is Uncle Sean was financially rewarded for that tactic. He's been advising Revis and both sides have become so entrenched that I honestly think a deal is not going to happen. So do Jason Cole's sources.

    Remember what we went through a year ago with two rookie CBs? The Jets are going to have to share a little of that pain this year as they have rookie CB Kyle Wilson starting in place of Revis. And I don't know if you guys graded Kyle the same as I did this draft season, but my biggest issue with him was how he handled himself in man coverage against bigger players (ehem, MARSHALL!). And I don't know if you've been watching practice footage from Hard Knocks, or have Jets fan and writer contacts that have been paying attention to training camp reports and preseason, but I have both and he's still been having the same issues I thought when he came out.

    So what does no Darrelle Revis, and a limited ability to cover bigger receivers in man, mean for the Jets defense? It means they have to dial back some of those aggressive blitzes that made them who they were last year.

    And know what else sucks for them? Santonio Holmes and Calvin Pace are both going to miss half of their division schedule. They, not unlike us, play a lot of division games right away. They have three division games in their first four weeks. Is Jason Taylor going to replace that missing pass rush from Calvin Pace? Doubtful. He didn't with the Dolphins. Every report I've heard has said he's been all but invisible this preseason and training camp, and recently we saw on Hard Knocks that he seems like he doesn't even care, coming to meetings late and whatnot. He may have gotten excited at first, but I would bet you anything he's fallen into the same emotional doldrums that he felt in Washington.

    And has anyone seen their offense this preseason? No, seriously, have you seen it? Because nobody can find it, and I think they're getting worried they might have left it in one of the lockers at that water park they want to, or maybe the movie theater or something. Mark buttfumble right now is looking like a punk emo kid. He's not lifting anyone's spirits and the coaches have taken notice, they're worried. They know the team lacks leadership, and they just got rid of a whole bunch of guys that were leaders, replacing them with guys that are...not so much.

    Jets fans may put a good face on things, especially when they're trolling around on Dolphins forums, but they're not feeling good about this preseason or their situation. The coaches aren't feeling good about it. The players aren't feeling good about it. They've got issues. I'm not saying their issues are bigger than ours, I'm saying they've got issues, pretty big ones.


    The Patriots

    This is a team that actually has some things going for them decent right now this preseason. They've got some nice help from Bra-...

    Ok I couldn't keep going with a straight face. Are you KIDDING me?!? Logan Mankins is holding out, he's out there calling Robert Kraft a LIAR. Reports say he's been smart with his money and he's a stickler for things like HONOR and PRINCIPLE, so he doesn't give a sh-t about the money. Meanwhile, Bob Kraft's son is firing back, basically calling Logan a liar. These guys are ENTRENCHED. At this point it's not even a question of whether he'll come back before Week 10, it's a question whether Logan might eat the loss of an accrued year and not come back at all just on principle.

    Oh and by the way, Nick Kaczur is out for the year.

    Oh, and so is Ty Warren.

    Oh yeah, and don't forget Leigh Bodden.

    Wait, wait, I think I'm also forgetting something...oh yeah it's that Wes Welker still says his knee doesn't feel right.

    I'm sensing a common theme here and that's young corners. The Patriots now officially have the youngest least experienced CB duo in the league. Welcome to our 2009 hell, Patsies. Hey I may like Devin McCourty, but lots of people liked Vontae Davis and Sean Smith. They still gave up a sh-t ton of yards and touchdowns. And Darius Butler is quite possible the only CB I can think of that's a weaker link in tackling than Sean Smith was in 2009. The Patriots won't be seeing any runs or screens to HIS side, will they? Noooo...

    Who are their running backs again? Some law firm, and the reanimated corpse of Fred Taylor? K...

    Listen, they've got Tom Terrific. They're always going to be a good team with him there. I'm not saying they're going to suck. I'm saying we got problems, they got problems.


    The Bills

    ...this one's too easy.
    Twitter: @ckparrot
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  2. -2
    Nublar7's Avatar
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    Jurassic World2013 Dolphins Logo
    So you are saying there's a chance......

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  3. -3
    72champagne's Avatar
    the annual ritual

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    Oh, your titles need more work.
    Oh, to start with.
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  4. -4
    ckparrothead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 72champagne View Post
    Oh, your titles need more work.
    Oh, to start with.
    Uhh, what?
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  5. -5
    Myles Fynch's Avatar
    durka durka

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    He used the medical term, I think that deserves a pass, Doc.

    Not a title I ever expected to see here, but long overdue. Good writeup, CK.
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  6. -6
    Locke's Avatar
    They looked like strong hands.

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    To be fair, the moment Anquan Boldin or Randy Moss shred that Jets secondary, Tanenbaum is going to be on the phone with Revis and his agent. I think its pretty unlikely that they go through both of those games without giving up 100 yards to one of those two. I would assume most likely Moss...

    If I could take your pain and frame it, and hang it on my wall,
    maybe you would never have to hurt again...

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  7. -7
    hooshoops's Avatar
    Ryan tannehill...like a boss

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    yep...the jets corners are gonna have fits with brandon marshall...fits

    i know new england is starting 2 pups at cb but devin mccourty looks damn good...that's all i'm saying...i didn't know wes welker is saying his knee isn't right...really...hmmm...

    and i still don't think the pats will get much pass rush from the olbs...i can't believe they didn't use a high pick on a wolb
    hoops scoops 2012 season ..."in 2014 ryan tannehill etches his name in stone amongst the games elite qbs"..."ryan tannehill and andrew luck will carry the afc for the next decade plus the way peyton manning and tom brady have this last decade plus"
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  8. -8
    utahphinsfan's Avatar
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    Per the threads title; funny stuff! I have some umbrellas made of toilet paper if you need them.

    I, too, thought the Revis hold out was a "stunt".

    The Pats pass D that I saw against the Saints and Rams in preseason does not scare me. Gronkowski > Hernandez.

    Buffalo's secondary & Spiller should provide some optimism for Bills fans.
    Winning without ethics is not winning at all - Don Shula.








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  9. -9
    mtlfinfan's Avatar
    Resiliency is the key.

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    Ck, Nubs............ Old times brothers ... old times. You are THE two most respected posters here!!!! Period.
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  10. -10
    Ricky'sWeinerBong's Avatar
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    ya, that Pats defense is gonna have some issues. the Rams 2nd stringers were shredding them. every team in this division has some serious issues and concerns. point taken.
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