1) Win the next game.
2) See goal #1
"The problem with internet quotes lies in verifying their authenticity."
This way to the polls:
Humongous, how was your Memorial Day weekend?
well, memorial day was always something of confusing time around the trailer. daddy (RIP) served in the military during the Vietnamese war? he loved the jungle, and enjoyed making salads out of all the exotic plants and fungi he found. well, he musta ate the wrong thing one day, cause he up and lost his thinking, and ended up fighting on the side of the Vietcong? they even gave him a medal on account of he could dig the best holes for tunnels. shoot daddy! well, daddy was finally taken prisoner when an american platoon found him in confusion trying to court a water bison -- he was almost successful to boot, but one of them overzealous young privates shot that poor bison. daddy said that his broken heart fixed his broken mind, and he was able to return home with a dishonorable discharge. the army even gave daddy some money ifn he promised not to talk to the press about his military career? daddy used that very hush money as a down payment on the trailer!
Humongous, are you ready for the summer? I remember you saying you were trying to lose a few pounds to get ready for bikini season down by the bog.
So what's been going on with cousin jeb recently? Having heard stories about him, I know he's gotten into some kind of trouble recently.