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Thread: Your Fart Stories

  1. -31
    X-Pacolypse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shula_guy View Post
    I'm sure they both sucked
    No, just one of them. I feel bad about the guidance counselor. Poor woman, the last thing she needed was my BS. My junior English teacher on the other hand, he got what was coming to him. I'll give him credit, though. By the end of my junior year, we couldn't stand each other. The first day of school my senior year, that dude came up to me and said "Hey Jayson, how you doing? How was your summer?" I just stood there and looked at him completely puzzled. I mean, the last time I saw the guy, he broke his pencil and stormed out of the gym because I ignored every question he asked me while I was doing free weights. So, I give him credit for being willing to try and bury the hatchet.

    I'll tell you another teacher who really did "suck." My anatomy teacher in my senior year. The first semester of my senior year was unique in the fact that I went to two schools. 1st period, I went to a public school to participate in Marine Corps ROTC. Then after that first period, I would go back to the private school I was at finish the rest of the day there. So, I told my anatomy teacher that I would always be a few minutes late to 2nd period because of the distance between schools. She acknowledged this at the time, and I figured everything was good to go. Well, so much for that..... first day I come into her anatomy class the stupid whore has the nerve to ask me where I've been. So, I replied: "I was at ROTC, remember? I told you about this." She said: "Oh, OK. Just go ahead and sitdown."

    Well, you think that would be the end of this Q&A session, but it wasn't. Every DAMN day for the next couple of weeks she asked the same damn question everytime I came in. It got so ridiculous to the point that I actually showed up in full uniform, fatigues, and all just to finally drive the point through her thick ****ing skull as to why I was late to her class everyday. Guess what happened??? I show up and like ****ing clockwork she asks: "Jayson, where have you been?" Well at that point I'm like: "You know what? I'm leaving, have a great class you dumb b*tch." I mean, I could never understand why she did this to me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Plus, I had a solid B in her class as well. I just never understood what her ****ing problem was.
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  2. -32
    BARF's Avatar
    ...FOR ME TO POOP ON

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    i was in 6th grade, and there was a part in class where you put on the headphones for listening comprehension and man i couldn't stop rippin it, the whole class minutes the teacher told me to step outside the class, lmao, it was priceless
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  3. -33
    Bumpus's Avatar
    Are you gonna drink that?

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    Anyone ever fart while getting head?

    And, if so, were you able to talk her into finishing?
    2014 Goals:
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  4. -34
    Arsenal WV's Avatar
    LIVESTRONG

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpus View Post
    Anyone ever fart while getting head?

    And, if so, were you able to talk her into finishing?
    That's ....honestly.... never happened to me. And with my gas, there's a ZERO chance I could talk any chick into finishing. We're talking gagging x2 when my fart's added into the mix
    Quote Originally Posted by JEDIJ007 View Post
    Pouncey Twins are gay.
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  5. -35
    Ricky4Life's Avatar
    Repin the MIA in AZ!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpus View Post
    Anyone ever fart while getting head?

    And, if so, were you able to talk her into finishing?
    Have never had that happen to me. What about you bump?
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  6. -36
    Bumpus's Avatar
    Are you gonna drink that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky4Life View Post
    Have never had that happen to me. What about you bump?
    Almost. Too damn close actually.

    I was trying so hard to hold one in, that she got pissed it was taking so long.
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  7. -37
    arsenal's Avatar
    Beastin'

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    i used to go to this beach camp ground in the summers while in high school with my best friend for like a week... and we'd meet girls and try to **** em, etc etc... so one night real late im passed out in the tent from drinking too much, and my friend is in there still with these 2 girls, and apparently i farted CRAZY loud, then woke up pointed at one of the girls and said, you did it, then immediately passed back out... my friend thought it was the funniest thing ever even though the girls left after that, haha...

    Koa Konstrictor
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  8. -38
    Tunaphish429's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpus View Post
    Almost. Too damn close actually.

    I was trying so hard to hold one in, that she got pissed it was taking so long.
    Def have farted while getting brain in more than one occasion. Hey I warned her.
    Just kept on going..Now that is love..

    I have been eating alot of fiber latley..The farts that have been coming out of my *** have been epic.
    Kinda warm coming out of the anus, with a sulfur odor. I wonder if anyone else smells them..They are really bad.
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  9. -39
    uga3406's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpus View Post
    Anyone ever fart while getting head?

    And, if so, were you able to talk her into finishing?
    one nite me and my g/f at the time went to on the border for dinner and after the burito and beans i had awful gas..needless to say i had bad gas that night..why i was in action w/ her twice i had to hold my as* cheeks in and keep focused at the task at hand....it was a trying nite but fun lol








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  10. -40
    tylerdolphin's Avatar
    More Smug than Birthday Dog

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    Is there anything sadder than farting in the shower and then realizing that it doesnt smell? Happened to me this morning. Thats enough to break a parakeets heart.




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