Welcome to FinHeaven Fans Forums! We're glad to have you here. Please feel free to browse the forum. We'd like to invite you to join our community; doing so will enable you to view additional forums and post with our other members.



VIP Members don't see these ads. Join VIP Now
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26

Thread: Things you learn from watching porn...

  1. -1
    Bumpus's Avatar
    Are you gonna drink that?

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Jun 2003
    Posts:
    20,542
    vCash:
    22630
    Loc:
    West-by-god-Virginny
    Thanks / No Thanks
    Trophies
    2013 Dolphins Logo1972 Dolphins Logo

    Things you learn from watching porn...

    Things you learn from watching porn:

    1. Women wear high heels to bed.
    2. Men are never impotent.
    3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
    8. Women always orgasm when men do.
    9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
    10. All women are noisy ****s.
    11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    12. Those **** are real.
    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
    14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
    15. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
    16. Double penetration makes women smile.
    17. Asian men don't exist.
    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of **** out of you if you shove your **** in his girlfriend's mouth.
    19. There's a plot.
    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ***.
    21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
    22. Men always pull out.
    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing both of you.
    24. Women never have headaches.
    25. When a woman is sucking a man's ****, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'
    26. *******s are clean.
    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a **** there.
    29. Men don't have to beg.
    30. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
    31. Pigtails = handlebars.



    ... feel free to add to this list.
    2014 Goals:
    1) Win the next game.
    2) See goal #1





    "The problem with internet quotes lies in verifying their authenticity."
    -Abraham Lincoln

    Quote Quote  

  2. -2
    BARF's Avatar
    ...FOR ME TO POOP ON

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Sep 2002
    Posts:
    4,859
    vCash:
    1000
    Loc:
    305
    Thanks / No Thanks
    you forgot back in the day guys had cool mustaches
    Quote Quote  

  3. -3
    PHINATIC13's Avatar
    Hall Of Famer

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    May 2004
    Posts:
    5,444
    vCash:
    1336
    Loc:
    Los Angeles,CA
    Thanks / No Thanks
    they had to be in Porn...because they can't act worth a s***!....
    thanks for the sig like2god





    Quote Quote  

  4. -4
    Perfect23's Avatar
    I wish people understood this

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Dec 2005
    Posts:
    4,316
    vCash:
    1820
    Loc:
    Earth
    Thanks / No Thanks
    That I will never sleep with a woman who looks as goo as alot of pornstars.
    Quote Quote  

  5. -5
    WeVie's Avatar
    Champion Of The Beards!

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Jan 2003
    Posts:
    6,167
    vCash:
    3809
    Loc:
    Mooresville, NC
    Thanks / No Thanks
    When a woman finds a penis in a pizza, it will make her happy.
    Quote Quote  

  6. -6
    kud's Avatar
    FinHeaven Elite

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Mar 2004
    Posts:
    10,084
    vCash:
    1023
    Loc:
    South Cackalaka
    Thanks / No Thanks
    32. Bumpus watches too much Porn.
    33. If you're a house keeper you better be prepared to ****.
    34. Nuns are dirty sluts just like the rest of the female community.
    35. Men obviously have no problem when their scrotums and dicks touch during DP.
    36. Lots of college girls prostitute themselves to old men for tuition.
    37. A standing 69 is not only an easy, but pleasurable feat.
    38. If a woman can't deep throat, she'll just gag on a dick til she learns.
    39. Somehow female to male domination is a popular porn fetish, Bumpus?
    40. Although many actresses do it, spitting isn't sexy. (swallow that load you ****)
    Quote Quote  

  7. -7
    Vaark's Avatar
    InRegioneCaecorum RexEstLusces

    Status:
    Online
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Apr 2007
    Posts:
    20,332
    vCash:
    16303
    Loc:
    Zombieland (lookn4 Myles)
    Thanks / No Thanks
    Quote Quote  

  8. -8
    BARF's Avatar
    ...FOR ME TO POOP ON

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Sep 2002
    Posts:
    4,859
    vCash:
    1000
    Loc:
    305
    Thanks / No Thanks
    i hate rule 42 i shut that **** off as soon as that happens
    Quote Quote  

  9. -9
    BobDole's Avatar
    Paddy's Pub

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Jan 2008
    Posts:
    6,969
    vCash:
    1176
    Loc:
    Boom City
    Thanks / No Thanks
    41. after seeing a chick your buddy used to date in a hardcore gang bang style porno, it is your duty as a man to call and make fun of him even if you guys haven't talked since high school.

    42. i don't know what this one is, but apparently barf hates it.

    43. it's no biggie when two dudes accidentally blow their loads on each other after double teaming some slutbag.

    44. watching some dude exclaim 'choo choo' and motion as if he wants a semi to honk it's horn is the funniest thing thats ever happened.

    45. it's totally acceptable to gape some chick's butthole open with your fingers and spit in there.

    46. tiny wangs don't exist, but unfortunately giant vaginas do.

    47. making some whore literally throw up is the goal of getting a blow job.

    48. chicks LOVE going *** to mouth.

    49. there are no deal breakers. anything goes after you stick it in.


    Quote Quote  

  10. -10
    Nappy Roots's Avatar
    Da Dalphins

    Status:
    Offline
    WPA:
    Join date:
    Nov 2004
    Posts:
    15,138
    vCash:
    1160
    Loc:
    Flawda
    Thanks / No Thanks
    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpus View Post
    Things you learn from watching porn:

    1. Women wear high heels to bed.
    2. Men are never impotent.
    3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
    8. Women always orgasm when men do.
    9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
    10. All women are noisy ****s.
    11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    12. Those **** are real.
    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
    14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
    15. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
    16. Double penetration makes women smile.
    17. Asian men don't exist.
    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of **** out of you if you shove your **** in his girlfriend's mouth.
    19. There's a plot.
    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ***.
    21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
    22. Men always pull out.
    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing both of you.
    24. Women never have headaches.
    25. When a woman is sucking a man's ****, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'
    26. *******s are clean.
    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a **** there.
    29. Men don't have to beg.
    30. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
    31. Pigtails = handlebars.



    ... feel free to add to this list.
    I litterally laughed out loud for 5 minutes straight. that was awesome.


    Quote Originally Posted by kud View Post
    37. A standing 69 is not only an easy, but pleasurable feat.

    38. If a woman can't deep throat, she'll just gag on a dick til she learns.

    Anyone ever actually done a stand up 69...I always say it to females as a joke but have never done it...I will try soon.

    LMAO at 38. thats a good one.
    Quote Quote  

Similar Threads

  1. Watching porn is bad for your smartphone
    By BAMAPHIN 22 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 02-14-2013, 04:55 PM
  2. Man stabbed in a NY Library for watching porn
    By BAMAPHIN 22 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-16-2012, 04:27 PM
  3. 7 Signs That You're Watching Too Much Porn
    By Vaark in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-13-2012, 12:19 PM
  4. Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-14-2011, 06:27 PM
  5. Is Watching Porn Cheating?
    By dreday in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 116
    Last Post: 08-22-2006, 11:27 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •